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Bam.
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Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
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Coming at you.
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Ding!
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Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business
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and life you love.
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Now, if you’ve ever lost motivation because you’re afraid your dreams are just too unrealistic,
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this one is for you.
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Today’s question comes from Bree who writes:
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“Hey, Marie.
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You’re such an inspiration.
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I so respect your advice.”
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Thank you.
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“Here’s my situation.
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My whole life I’ve had big dreams and lots of ambition, then this little word started
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to pop up from people around me: unrealistic.
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For example, I wanted to work in publishing and was told that was unrealistic.
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There were so many obstacles and so few jobs.
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However, I now work for the second largest publishing company in the world.
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But there’s a new dream I want to pursue and I can already hear the cacophony of voices
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in my head insisting this dream is unrealistic.
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A certain level of realism is necessary, but too much can create self doubt.
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So Marie, how do I handle not only hearing from others how unrealistic my dream is, but
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also not let myself drown out my own desires?
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Thank you so much.
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Bree.”
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I love this question so much, Bree.
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Every single one of us who both dreams and creates things faces voices of dissent both
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from people that we know, from people that we don't know, and very often the most deadly
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comes from within.
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And if we don't take a thoughtful, conscious approach to taking on our unrealistic dreams,
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they just ain’t gonna happen.
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But if you are up for the challenge, and I think you are, here are five steps that can
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help.
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Step number one is frame your dream, and here’s what this means.
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We can’t become what we can’t envision.
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So when I say frame your dream, what I mean is I want you to take a picture of it in your
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mind’s eye in vivid, specific detail, and then what I want you to do is translate that
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picture into words, meaning write down that big, unrealistic dream.
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And I know that you may have heard about the power of writing things down before, but the
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truth is, most people just don't do it, which is so crazy because the research is conclusive
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on this.
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There was a study done by Dr. Gail Matthews that shows that you are 42% more likely to
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achieve your goals if you write them down.
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So what I want you to do is whip out your journal or hop on that keyboard and get writing.
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Step number two is filter opinions and fend off negativity.
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You’ve got to take responsibility for the energy that you allow in your life.
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I want you to fend off negativity as much as humanly possible.
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You know, we know so much more about the brain than we did just 20 years ago.
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Neuroscience has taught us incredible things like that our brains are continuously shaped
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by our thoughts and our experiences, and you know this to be true.
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I mean, negativity is one of the most toxic forces on the planet.
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It’s toxic for your brain, for your nervous system, and for your ability to stay motivated.
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So do me this favor, okay?
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Do not solicit or listen to the opinions of people who are notorious for just being Debbie
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Downers.
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The one mistake that I’ve seen people make consistently is they almost habitually talk
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to the exact person who is the most likely to shoot them down and make them feel like
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crap.
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So don't do that.
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And here’s another key, I want you to always, always, always consider the source, meaning
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don't put a lot of stock into other people’s opinions unless they’re actually out there
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consistently taking risks and being brave and actually making things happen.
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I mean, if you think about it, let’s say, I don't know, you wanted to climb Mount Everest.
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Would you ever take advice from someone who’s never even attempted the summit?
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No, of course not.
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That would be crazy.
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So don't take advice from anyone unless you really think it though.
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And I want you to ask, has this person achieved an unrealistic or impossible dream?
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Are they taking meaningful risks on a consistent basis?
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Do you admire who they are, how they live, and what they contribute?
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If not, do not use them as a sounding board for your idea.
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Step number three is flood yourself with positive examples.
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So once you’ve removed the negative outputs as best as you can, step number three is all
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about feeding your mind and surrounding yourself with positive stories on a consistent basis
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of other people who have achieved unrealistic dreams.
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So think about Helen Keller, for example, who was blind and deaf by the age of two,
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yet with the help of teachers she created this extraordinary literary career writing
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hundreds of speeches and essays and books.
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And there are thousands of biographies at the library or even on Netflix.
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And the great thing that I love about biographies is you also get a chance to witness other
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people’s stumbles and their falls and all the failures that they experience along the
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way.
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Which, of course, stumbles and falls and failures, those are inevitable for all of us.
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And, you know, it’s worth noting that just about anyone whose achievements are worthy
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of a biography or a documentary probably had an unrealistic dream.
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So do this for me, feed your mind examples of people who speak out and stand up for what
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they believe in and make change happen.
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Step number four is fast forward.
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So if you’ve watched this show for any amount of time you know this, I love end of life
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studies.
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And here’s what we know for a fact, when you’re on your deathbed, you couldn't care
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less about what anybody who says your dreams are unrealistic says.
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I mean, Bronnie Ware’s research tells us this very, very clearly that the single biggest
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regret people have when they’re about to pass is this: I wish I had the courage to
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live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
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So Bree, my friend, stop worrying about what other people might think or say about how
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unrealistic your dream is.
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It really does not matter.
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The only thing that matters is what you do about it now.
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Step number five is focus on action.
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So this, my friend, is the most important step of all.
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Action is the antidote to fear and you don't have to take perfect action, you just need
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to take any action.
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Brick by brick, inch by inch, step by step, that is how all great things are achieved.
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And you know my mantra, I believe everything is figureoutable.
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And the best way to figure anything out is through action based learning.
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So one more thing before we wrap up, Bree.
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Unrealistic dreams are totally where it’s at.
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That’s where all the growth and the excitement in life comes from.
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After all, what other kind of dreams are there?
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Dreams like this?
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Marie, you will not believe the dream I had last night.
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So reasonable.
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I’m shopping, I’m getting all my normal vegetables, but they didn't have avocados.
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I asked the manager, he brought me some from the back.
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So realistic.
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So inspiring.
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Wow, that sounds inspiring.
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I mean, you can do that.
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I think…
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I think you can make that happen.
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So Bree, there you have it.
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Five steps to help you bring your unrealistic dreams to life.
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And if you ever start to waver, remember this tweetable.
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If someone tells you your big dream is unrealistic, that’s a sure sign you should go for it.
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That was my A to your Q, Bree, and I really hope it helps.
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Now I would love to hear from you.
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What unrealistic dream are you working to bring to life?
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And what, if anything, has been stopping you?
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Now, as always, the best conversations happen at MarieForleo.com, so head on over there
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and leave a comment now.
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Once you’re there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF insider.
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You’re gonna get instant access to a powerful audio training called How to Get Anything
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You Want.
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You’ll also get exclusive content and special giveaways and personal updates from me that
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I just don't share anywhere else.
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Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special
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gift that only you have.
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Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.
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Wow.
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Mister international.
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You and Pitbull.
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Get buck buck wild.
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Reel it on in.
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I had to do it.
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I needed to just get it out.
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I love you guys.
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Okay.