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  • And now, a special message from me.

    現在,我為你帶來一則特別訊息

  • Thank me! Thank me! Thank me!

    謝謝我!謝謝我!謝謝我!

  • Welcome to my 24/7 Youtube live stream.

    歡迎收看我 24 小時不打烊的 Youtube 現場直播

  • Today I will be talking about various things, and very big things, in the world of things.

    今天我會談論許多不同的議題,非常重大的議題,發生在這個充滿議題的世界

  • That's right. This is how your president talks now.

    對,這就是你現任總統說話的方式

  • Well, it's been another crazy weekend for Donald Trump; in case you didn't hear the news, I'll tell you now.

    川普又度過了一個瘋狂的週末,如果你沒跟上消息的話,我在這裡告訴你

  • I shot four under parmy best golf score yet.

    我達成了低於標準桿四桿的成績,這是我目前最佳的高爾夫球成績

  • But that's not what the fake news media reported on so it's time for me to take matters into my own abnormally gigantic hands.

    但這不是那些虛假的媒體報導的議題,所以現在我要自己來掌控這些議題,用我異常大的手

  • The only way to ensure that the news you're watching is not fake is if I'm the one delivering it,

    要確保你所收看的新聞屬實的唯一方法就是由我來報導

  • which is why I'm starting the Trump News Network.

    這是為什麼我決定設立這個「川普新聞網」

  • This is TNN.

    這是「川普新聞網」

  • Welcome to TNN,

    歡迎收看「川普新聞網」

  • the only news network that is 100

    唯一一個 100% 公道且 112% 屬實的新聞網

  • Our top story tonight:

    今晚的頭條是:

  • Sweden is still reeling from Friday's incident that absolutely did happen.

    瑞典仍處於週五不幸事件所造成的衝擊中,那個事件確實有發生

  • Details are still unclear but we're getting word it was definitely real,

    我們目前沒有關於事件的具體細節,不過我們聽說它絕對有發生

  • and 100% not made up.

    100% 不是被編造的

  • Our thoughts and prayers go out to all the Swedish men, women and fish.

    我們為那些受到波及的瑞典男士、女士和魚祈禱

  • Nextly, President Me just announced his pick for National Security Advisor, H.R. McMaster.

    接著,我這位總統剛宣布我的國家安全顧問人選,H.R. McMaster

  • Normally, when I'm talking to H.R., it's because one of my female employees is threatening to sue.

    通常我會跟 H.R. 講話是因為有女性員工想要告我

  • But now H.R. is going to stand for "huge ratings."

    但是現在 H.R. 新的定義是「高收視率」

  • That's right. We got McMaster. We got McMaster.

    是的,我們有 McMaster,我們有 McMaster

  • We're even teaming up with McDonald's to release a new burger in his honor, called "The McMaster".

    我們甚至跟麥當勞合作,以他的名義推出一款新的漢堡,就叫 "McMaster"

  • It's two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese.

    包含兩片牛肉漢堡排、特製醬料、生菜和起司

  • And honestly, it was the only burger that said "yes".

    老實說,那是唯一一個同意的漢堡

  • Nextly and sportsly, a new study finds that golf totally counts as work.

    接下來,運動談,一個新的研究指出:打高爾夫球絕對算是工作

  • And now, for full weather report, here's our meteorologist, Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos.

    現在,交由我們的氣象學家,也是我們的教育部長,Betsy DeVos 來為我們做氣象預報

  • Hi, hi, I'm a weatherman.

    嗨,嗨,我是氣象員

  • Betsy, talk!

    Betsy,說話啊!

  • Oh...uh...oh...we can expect sunny skies today.

    噢...呃...噢...今天天空會有太陽

  • I like this sun. Whenever it comes out, I say, "Hello, sun!", and look right at it,

    我喜歡太陽,它每次出來的時候,我就會說:「嗨,太陽!」並直視它

  • and sometimes my eyes burn. I'm a weatherman!

    有時候我的眼睛感覺快燒起來了。我是氣象員!

  • Thank you very much, Betsy, thank you.

    非常感謝妳,Betsy,謝謝

  • Let's get back to the real news, because there's a lot of bad things out there that people aren't talking about.

    讓我們回歸正題,因為外界發生了很多不好的事,卻未被民眾談論到

  • In fact, let's find out what the next big news story is going to be,

    事實上,就讓我們來看看下一則大新聞會是什麼吧

  • using my 100

    用我的準確度 100% 的「壞事按鈕」

  • Oh no! There's been a Godzilla Attack in Finland! Finland!

    喔不!酷斯拉攻擊芬蘭!芬蘭!

  • Finland! Can you believe it? And Godzilla, of all people!

    芬蘭!你能相信嗎?酷斯拉!這麼多可能的犯罪人裡,竟然是他發動攻擊!

  • We really need to capture Godzilla and send it back to China!

    我們真的需要把酷斯拉抓起來並送回中國大陸!

  • Well, that's all for this TNN report.

    今天的「川普新聞網」報導到此結束

  • I've got to get back to work.

    我得回去工作了

  • Show the logo. Cue the music.

    可以秀出商標和播放配樂了

And now, a special message from me.

現在,我為你帶來一則特別訊息

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A2 初級 中文 美國腔 TheTonightShow 川普 芬蘭 報導 高爾夫球 trump

【吉米秀】超酸!川普獨家新聞頻道登場 (Donald Trump Unveils Trump News Network)

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    missnerdypants 發佈於 2017 年 03 月 27 日
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