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When we're in a relationship,
當我們處於一段感情中的時候
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one of the haunting thoughts that can make us especially snappy and bitter
有種想法會一直迴盪在腦海,讓我們易怒及感到苦澀
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is the idea that if only we were single, we would be a lot happier.
這想法就是:如果我們單身的話我們應該更開心吧
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We can be so conscious of the troubles of our own lives,
我們深深意識到自己目前生活中的各種麻煩
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that we're naturally drawn to look back and remember the nicer aspects of solitude.
我們自然而然地會回想過去,想起單身時各種美好的畫面
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We remember being able to get up whenever we wanted;
單身時我們可以想什麼時候起床就什麼時候起床
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we recall not having to fret about where we threw things.
我們也不會因為亂扔東西而煩惱
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We remember how inoffensive our own bad habits were,
我們完全接受自己的壞習慣,不會覺得那是一種冒犯
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when we were the only ones to witness them.
當只有我們自己知道這些習慣的時候
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We recall not having to justify our meal choices, however eccentric;
我們不需要刻意調整我們的飲食,不管我們的飲食有多奇怪
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we could go out somewhere and never tell anyone;
我們可以隨時外出而不用告訴任何人
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we could (when we felt like it)
(當我們願意的時候)我們也可以
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work through till 2 a.m. without being accused of being obsessive or cold.
工作到凌晨兩點,也不會被人指責說是過度工作或者是冷漠
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Though we were sometimes sad, we could at least always hope for a better future.
儘管我們有時候會沮喪,我們都還一直憧憬著美好的未來
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It was all so fulfilling, in comparison with the life we lead now.
和我們現在這樣的生活對比,以前的生活同時讓我們覺得十分充實
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But memory is a hugely unreliable and therefore, reckless instrument,
但是,回憶是十分不可靠的,因此也是無法預計後果的
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which isn't a small point,
並不是微不足道的
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for our powers of recall have a huge impact on how we assess our lives in the present.
因為「回憶」對我們如何評估自己現在的生活產生了巨大的影響
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We are editors of genius,
我們是有天賦的編輯
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who know just enough about how to romanticise our single days
我們知道如何浪漫化我們單身的日子
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in order to poison our conjugal ones.
為了使有伴的日子聽起來更糟糕
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Some of our ingratitude might be eroded.
我們可能會開始心懷感恩
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if long before we met anyone,
假設,在我們遇上另一半的很長一段時間之前
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a talented film-maker were charged with making a close observational documentary
一位有天賦的電影製作人負責拍攝一部紀錄片,來近距離觀察
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about our lives as single people.
我們的單身生活
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They’d capture our face at 5.30pm on a winter Sunday afternoon,
他捕捉到在一個冬日週日下午五點三十時我們的面容
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as the sun was setting
太陽正在隱退
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and we know we’ll be alone till we reach the office on Monday morning.
並且我們也知道,直到週一早晨上班我們仍會孤獨一人
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They'd observe us looking across the room at someone at a party
他觀察到我們在遠遠看著派對上的某個人
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longing for their kindly face
出神地看著他們美好的臉龐
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but lacking any courage to go up and address them.
但是卻沒有勇氣走上前去搭訕
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They'd capture us spending a lot of time at our parents' house,
他捕捉到我們在父母家待很長時間
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and growing increasingly tetchy in their company.
並且對於他們的陪伴越來越不耐煩
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They’d show us struggling to know what to do when the fridge stopped working
他讓我們意識到,當冰箱壞了的時候我們有多不知所措
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or we felt a terrible pain in the middle of the night.
或者是半夜的時候我們經歷了巨大的疼痛的無助
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We would ideally be required to view this documentary at regular intervals,
我們被要求最好能時常觀看這部紀錄片
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especially after bruising fights with our partners.
尤其是和我們的另一半發生劇烈衝突之後
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It would provide crucial evidence,
它會提供十分重要的證據
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which our own memories are so good at strategically omitting
來證明我們的記憶很擅長於進行戰略上的忽略
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of how less than ideal the single state can be
忽略我們處於單身時不理想的回憶
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We would realise that though we are sad now,
我們意識到,雖然我們現在很悲傷
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we were also very sad then.
我們當時也是很悲傷的
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We would accept, with good grace and a touch of dark humour,
我們會優雅地且帶著些黑色幽默地接受
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that life simply gives us few opportunities to be content.
生活給了很少的機會可以讓我們感到知足