I don't care if this is your girlfriend, or your wife, or just one of your friends,

不管是你的女朋友、老婆、還是只是一個朋友

there are just certain things that you cannot say to a girl.

有某些事情就是不能和女生說

So here we go!

讓我們來看看！

Learn. From our. Mistakes.

讓我們的錯誤中，學習

"So when's the due date?"

「所以預產期是什麼時候？」

I mean, never, ever, say anything about a girl's weight.

我說，千萬、千萬不要提到一個女生的體重

Ever.

任何時候都不要提到

Even if you're saying something nice about it.

就算你是在誇獎她

It'll most likely be taken like this:

最終都會被誤以為是：

Jordan: Wow! You've lost some weight!

Jorden：哇！妳瘦了好多！

Amy: WAS I FAT BEFORE?

Amy：我以前很肥嗎？

"What are you wearing?"

「妳穿的這是什麼啊？」

Don't make disparaging comments about a girl's physical appearance.

不要對女生的身體外觀作輕蔑的批評。

Seriously, you could scar her for life.

我是說真的，你會造成她終身的傷害

"You're overreacting. You're probably just hormonal."

「你反應也太大了吧？可能是受到荷爾蒙的影響。」

If anyone actually got away with saying this, they did not live long enough to tell the tale.

就算有人可以說了這些話還沒事，他們也無法活得夠久來告訴你這個故事。

This is essentially shutting a girl's thoughts down by telling her that she's insane.

這基本上就是制止一個女生的想法，然後告訴她她瘋了

What if someone did that to you?

如果換作是別人這樣對你呢？

Josh: And that's how I feel about it.

Josh：這就是我的感受

Kelly: Wow, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Kelly：哇，這是我聽過最蠢的事情了

Don't worry, it's not your fault,

不用擔心，這不是你的錯

you're just testosteronal.

你只是是受到睪丸激素的影響

"Girl, you look fine! Like, seriously good. Like, you are, it's-all-I'm-ever-going-to-talk-about hot."

「女孩兒，你蠻正的！我是說，非常正。就好像，妳是，我就只能一直說妳有多辣。」

It's fine to give a girl compliments on how she looks,

你可以誇獎一個女生的外表

until you become that extremely creepy guy that everybody avoids.

如果太過就會變成一個大家避之唯恐不及、令人毛骨悚然的傢伙

BHK: You have the biggest eyes of any people.

BHK：妳是我見過眼睛最大的人

Can I touch your hand?

我可以摸妳的手嗎？

I just did...Oops!

哎呀！我已經摸了...

Wow, you have beautiful hair!

哇，你的頭髮好美！

Oh my goodness...

哦，我的天啊 ...

Your eyes are like a deep blue ocean that I want to swim in...

你的雙眼好像深藍色的海洋，我想要在裡面游泳 ...

You have a fuzzle on your shirt, hehe...

妳襯衫上有毛球，嘿嘿 ...

You have the cutest button nose!

妳的鼻子像按鈕一樣超可愛的！

"Are you sure you should be eating that?"

「你確定妳應該吃那個嗎？」

Guys are almost required to go back for seconds to maintain their manliness.

男生在吃東西時點第二份就好像是維持男子氣概一樣。

But if a girl goes back for seconds?

不過如果是一個女生點了第二份？

Well, she must be...

那她一定是 ...

"Oh, yeah, my ex used to say that too."

「喔，對啊，我前女友也這樣說。」

Much in the same way that guys don't like being compared to other guys,

就像男生不愛被拿來和其他的男性比較一樣

Do NOT compare a girl, to another girl.

不要拿其他的女性去和一個女生做比較

Just stay on the safe side,

為了慎重起見

do not even mention another girl in the same sentence as the girl you're talking with.

當你在和女生說話時最好避免提到其他的女性

It's not worth the risk!

不值得冒險啊！

YOLO: If your eyes were more blue, they would look like my ex!

YOLO：如果你的眼睛再藍一點，看起來就像我前女友的眼睛！

When my ex dyed her hair, it looked just like this!

當我前女友染頭髮時，看起來就像這樣！

The only thing hotter than you, is my ex-girlfriend!

能比妳還正的，大概只有我前女友了！

Just like my ex!

和我前任一樣！

"Well, y'know, if you weren't so..."

「呃，你知道嗎，如果你不是這麼 ... 」

Fellas, this is a slippery slope.

各位，這是個錯誤的開始

You think that you're the only one who's been keeping a record of wrongs?

你以為只有你在記仇嗎？

No.

不

I mean, you may very well be,

我的意思是最好是這樣

but 50% divorce rate says otherwise.

但從50% 的離婚率看來並不是

"Hey, is so-and-so single?"

「嘿，那個誰誰誰是單身嗎？」

This is roughly the equivalent of saying:

這大概就像在說：

"Hey you! Oh, you...not so much..."

「嘿美女！噢，不是你 ... 」

"But your friend over there, a real hottie!"

「是那邊那位，你的辣妹朋友！」

"And I, need hottie's number."

「而我，需要得到辣妹的電話號碼。」

"I didn't really like you. It was probably just hormones."

「我其實沒那麼喜歡你，之前應該是受到荷爾蒙的影響吧！」

This is the classic "guy strings girl along and then breaks it off and says it wasn't anything in the first place."

這是經典的「男生追到女生後想要分手，所以就推說其實打從一開始就沒什麼。」

Not so fast, Buster!

先別把話說死啊老兄！

Act like you're an adult!

表現得像個成年人吧！

Josh: Look, I know I said I loved you, but I wasn't really serious about it...

Josh：聽著，我知道我說過我愛你，不過我說的時候並不是很認真...

So let's just pretend it didn't happen, okay?

不如我們就假裝我不曾說過，好嗎？

Kelly: Well, I guess that works out, I don't date 5 year olds anyway.

Kelly：好啊，我想這樣也好，反正我不和 5 歲的人約會

"Cramps? Oh yeah, I get those too sometimes. Just suck it up, you'll be fine."

「腹痛？哦，我有時候也會耶！忍一忍就過了，沒事的。」

The end.

結束

Y'know, now that I think about it,

你知道嗎？現在我想起來

guy's think that girls are so overly sensitive,

男生認為女生就是太過敏感

and that's why they shouldn't say any of these things

所以他們才不該說這些話

but, if you really think about it,

不過，如果你仔細地思考一下

Most of these things just boil down to the golden rule.

大部分的這些事情都歸根究底於一個黃金定律。

I guess girls just wanna be treated with kindness and respect

我想女生都希望被以善意和尊重對待

the way that we expect them to treat us!

就像我們期望他人也這樣對待我們一樣！

Huh! Funny how that works!

呵呵！是不是很妙呢？