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  • (Playing dinosaurs and planes)

    (玩著恐龍與飛機)

  • Son, it's time for bed.

    兒子,該上床睡覺囉

  • But daddy, I'm having such a good game.

    但是爸比,我正玩得開心耶

  • James, it's far too late for boys of your age to be up. It‘s 12:37 at night

    James,已經半夜12:37了,你不該那麼晚還沒睡

  • But I'm not even sleepy! Can't I have a story first?

    可是我一點都不累啊!可以先講個故事給我聽嗎?

  • (sigh) alright, just one though.

    (嘆氣)好吧!只講一個喔!

  • Now, what would you like me to read you?

    你想聽什麼故事呢?

  • Peter Rabbit?

    彼得兔?

  • Mmmmm...

    嗯......

  • Goldilocks and the Three Bears?

    金鎖姑娘和三隻小熊?

  • Hmmm...

    誒都......

  • How about...

    那不然

  • The Story of the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election?

    2016 美國總統大選傳奇?

  • YES! That one! That one! That one! Yes!

    沒錯!就是這個!耶!

  • Alright.

  • Once upon the time, in a land called America

    很久很久以前,有一個國度叫做美國

  • where there were states of blue to the North and states of red to the South

    北方有藍色的州、南邊則有美麗的紅

  • And a beautiful White House in between

    還有美麗的白宮座落於此

  • Lived a lady, who wanted to rule the kingdom very much

    這片土地上住了一位非常想要治理這個國度的女士

  • Very very much

    希拉蕊之心,路人皆知

  • Some would say, too much...

    有些人覺得她太過於野心勃勃了

  • And she wore a jacket of beige

    這位女士總穿著米色的外套

  • and trousers of beige

    米色的長褲

  • and shoes of beige

    還有一雙米色的鞋

  • And she walked the land telling everyone that would listen

    她走遍了整個國度告訴每一個人

  • that she was the best ruler for that land

    她是這片土地最為應天順民的統治者

  • even though her husband has once ruled that kingdom

    儘管她的先生曾經領導這座國度

  • this kingdom had never been ruled by a lady

    這座國度卻從來沒出現過女性領導者

  • And so she set up a long journey to that beautiful White House

    所以呢,為了入主美麗的白宮,她展開了一趟漫長的旅程

  • but along the way she got lost in a forest

    但途中她在一座森林裡迷路了

  • A scary forest?

    是座陰森的森林嗎?

  • Scariest forest!

    令人毛骨悚然!

  • In this forest, there were lots of computers

    在這座森林裡,有超多台電腦

  • And all those computers...are EMAILS!

    而這些電腦都充滿著....電子郵件!

  • Emails?

    電子郵件?

  • Yes, emails.

    沒錯,電子郵件

  • But, the lady had special power to make them disappear

    不過呢,這位女性有特異功能,讓這些郵件憑空消失

  • Disappear? Where did they go?

    消失不見?那它們去哪了?

  • Nobody knows, son.

    兒子,沒有人知道啊

  • apparently neither did she.

    顯然她自己也說不上來

  • And also there were scary creatures in that forest

    同時呢,這座森林裡面還住著可怕的生物

  • There were trolls, and a fox who delivered BAD news

    像是酸民以及一隻總是帶來壞消息的狐狸

  • The news FOX

    FOX 新聞!

  • And, house selected committee on Benghazi

    還有調查班加西事件的國會

  • BENGHAZI!

    班加西!

  • Things got scary, very scary for the lady

    事情日益不樂觀、陷入膠著

  • She was nearly defeated by an old old man with hair of white and face like wizard

    她必須先打敗一位滿頭白髮,看起來像是個巫師的老人

  • He said he could take from the rich and give to the poor

    這位老人說他可以劫富濟貧

  • no matter how impossible his plans were

    姑且不論他的計畫聽起來多麽荒腔走板

  • He sounds cool!

    他好酷喔!

  • But even she when she got passed those creatures the lady still wasn't out of the forest

    儘管這位女性打敗了這些生物,森林迷宮卻越趨撲朔迷離

  • for standing between her and the beautiful White House was the most terrifying creature of all

    全世界最可怕的怪物阻擋了她前往美麗白宮的去路

  • The BIG-ORANGE-MONSTER!

    大橘怪!

  • Was his face orange or was his hair orange?

    他的臉是橘色的嗎?還是他的頭髮是橘色的?

  • Somehow son...BOTH

    兒子...以上皆是啊

  • So this orange monster had already swallowed 16 other monsters in the forest

    這隻大橘怪吞噬了森林裡其他 16 隻怪物

  • A prince named Jeb who thought that the land should belong to him

    Jeb, 一個認為這片土地屬於他的王子

  • A sleeping beauty named Ben, who only spoke with his eyes closed

    一個睡美人 Ben,連他說話時眼睛都閉著

  • And a Texas senator named Ted, who came from the Tea party

    還有一個從茶黨出身的德州的參議員 Ted

  • Oh! a tea party! Can we have a tea party, daddy?

    喔!茶派對耶!爸比我們可以辦一個茶派對嗎?

  • James! Focus! I'm telling you a story.

    James 你可以不要分心嗎!專心聽故事

  • Still, nobody expected the orange monster to rule the land because although his head was very very big

    僅怪這隻大橘怪的頭超級超級大,沒有人認為他可以來掌管這片土地

  • his wisdom was very very tiny, like his tiny tiny baby hands

    他睿智的程度可能用他的小手就比得出來

  • And whenever he was told that he couldn't rule the land

    還有每當別人認為他不可能掌控這個國度時

  • the orange monster said

    大橘怪總說

  • I'll huff...and I'll puff...and put a ban on all Muslims

    我會用力吹氣、一陣一陣地吹,直到穆斯林通通被我趕走

  • He could do that?

    他怎麼可以這樣做?

  • well, he wanted to

    嗯...他當然想啊

  • Because even though the America was a diverse land of opportunity, the monster wanted to build a big giant wall

    儘管美國是個機會無窮的國度,這隻怪物想要蓋一座城牆

  • A wall?

    一座牆?

  • A wall to keep out boys and girls from far away lands like Mexico

    讓這個國度可以與墨西哥隔絕的牆

  • Even Mexico?

    墨西哥?

  • Especially Mexico

    尤其是墨西哥

  • For the monster didn't care for anybody who wasn't like him

    這隻怪物討厭任何跟他不一樣的人

  • Not Mexicans, not the kingdom's black president

    他不喜歡墨西哥人、也不喜歡這個國度的現任黑人總統

  • not even Rosie O'Donnell

    更不喜歡 Rosie O'Donnell

  • The comedian Rosie O'Donnell? But why?

    那個喜劇演員 Rosie O'Donnell?為什麼?

  • Because James, she's a LADY

    James,因為她也是位女性

  • And since the orange monster's so cruel to so many ladies

    也因為這隻大橘怪對很多女性超壞

  • the stakes in this 2016 presidential election were very very high

    2016 總統大選的風險變得超級的高

  • But if any future monster wanted to say boys and girls aren't equal

    但是如果在未來有任何怪物歧視女性、說女人壞話

  • Americans would know that the lady, with beige trousers suit, made it through the scary forest

    美國人終將記得一位身穿米色套裝的女性,攻破了陰森的森林

  • and passed the orange monster, and all the way to the beautiful White House

    打倒了大橘怪,最終邁向美麗的白宮

  • The end? But daddy, did the lady make it to the White House?

    結束了嗎?但是爸比,這位女士最終有沒有成功抵達白宮呢?

  • Tell me did the lady make it to the big White House?

    快告訴我她有沒有成功啦!

  • We can't tell it yet son...

    兒子,我們還不知道...

  • neither can the polls

    就連民調也無法看出...

  • Let's just hope that when you wake up in the morning every man and woman in the America has turned out to vote

    我們只能暗自希望明天破曉之時,舉國上下的每一個人都現身投票

  • Because no matter what your political affiliations are, you have a civic duty to vote

    因為不管你的政治立場為何,你有義務去投下那一票

  • and as long as you do, no one can tell you that this election was rigged

    只要你這麼做了,沒有人能夠亂說這場選舉是被陰的!

  • Where...where are you looking daddy?

    呃...爸比...你在跟誰說話啊?

  • no one in particular..that's it

    沒事沒事...就這樣

  • Good night

    晚安

  • But daddy... the big orange monster won't grab me in the night, will he?

    但是爸比...這隻大橘怪晚上不會來把我抓走吧?

  • Of course not, son

    當然不會呀!

  • What about my Pussy?

    那我的小貓咪呢?

  • Will he try to grab my Pussy?

    他會抓我的小貓咪嗎?

  • ehhh...

    呃...

  • good night, son!

    兒子,晚安囉!

(Playing dinosaurs and planes)

(玩著恐龍與飛機)

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A2 初級 中文 英國腔 TheLateLateShow 國度 森林 怪物 白宮 女性

BC說床邊恐怖故事:從前從前有場美國總統大選... (The Tale of Election 2016 with Benedict Cumberbatch)

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    Sabrina Hsu 發佈於 2016 年 11 月 09 日
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