This has gone on long enough.

七龍珠Z

This ends now!

我必須這樣做，其他人都還在等我呢

Dude, stop pushing so hard.

這已經花我夠多的時間了

That's why you keep getting hemorrhoids.

是時候該結束一切了！

It's time to DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- Duel!

（亂吼亂叫）

Now remember Yugi, when you start to stutter...

（用力便便ㄏㄏ）

go ahead and calm down and take it slow.

老兄，不要再這麼用力了

It's time to d- du- duel.

難怪你會一直得痔瘡

Very good.

遊戲王

News anchor: And now to Pallet Town...

是時候要決、決、決、決、決鬥了！

where a local man was found guilty of animal cruelty.

遊戲，記得，當你口吃的時候

Reporters: Ash! Ash! Ash! Ash!

試著冷靜一點然後說慢一點

Reporter 1: Is it true that you abused animals?

是時候要決、決鬥了！

Ash: No comment.

非常好

Reporter 1: What do you have to say to people who capture wild animals and keep them in confined balls?

神奇寶貝

Reporter 2: What about the accusation you are part of a pet underground battling society?

現在讓我們把鏡頭轉到武鬥鎮

Reporter 3: Do you regret picking a Pikachu?

在這裡有一個男人被發現虐待動物

Ash: No comment.

小智！小智！

Reporter 3: Ash, what about the threesome with you Brock and Misty?

你有虐待動物，是真的嗎？

Hey...

不予置評

It was always just Brock.

你有什麼話要對那些跟你一樣 捕捉野生動物還把牠們關在球裡的人說？

Reporters: ASH! Ash! Ash!

那對於那些你參加地下寵物互鬥的控訴你有什麼回應？

Naruto!

你後悔你抓了皮卡丘嗎？

Sasuke!

不予置評

Naruto!

小智，那跟你一起幹壞事的三人組裡 是不是還有小剛跟小霞？

Sasuke!

嘿，一直都只有小剛而已

Naruto!

小智！小智！

Sausage!

火影忍者

What?

鳴人！

Oh oops.

佐助！

Did you just call me sausage?

鳴人！

That's not even a good joke.

佐助！

No no no no. Sorry

鳴人！

The script must have auto corrected Sasuke...

香腸！ （音近佐助）

to sausage.

啥？

You know I was just going to hurt you, Naruto.

噢慘了

But now I'm going to kill you!

你剛剛叫我「香腸」嗎？

Prepare yourself, Naruto.

那並不是一個很好的笑話喔

Are you gonna do it, or?

不不不，我很抱歉

Just shut up, okay?

劇本應該要自動把「香腸」修正...

Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to remember all of this?

修正成「佐助」啊

I mean, do you really have to do all that sign language?

不用再說了，我原本只是想傷害你，鳴人

I mean, we already have subtitles.

但我現在想殺了你

I said, shut up!

準備接招吧，鳴人

Okay. Sorry.

猴子

Seriously, how much longer are you gonna -

種豬

I'm almost done! Can you just let me finish?

蛇

Fine! Just hurry up.

龍

Okay.

蚯蚓

Now where was I?

大黃蜂

Say goodbye, Naruto.

牛

SASUKE!!!!

牛屎 (bull sh*t)

SAUSAGE!!!!

你到底有沒有要出招，還是...？

I mean, it's cool that they put us in this magazine and all, but...

閉嘴好嗎

I don't really appreciate how they photoshopped us.

你知道我要記住這些手勢有多難嗎

Hey, Sailor Moon.

我指，你真的要做完全部的手勢啊？

I mean, I know you're the leader and all, but...

怎麼說呢...我們有字幕在底下做輔助啊

I was wondering, maybe we could switch planets for this year?

我說了，閉嘴

Yeah, we should do that.

好的，抱歉

Yeah, I wouldn't mind that.

駱馬

No, Sailor Jupiter. We've been through this. The planets represent who we are!

駱馬 和/或羊駝

But, I want to be Sailor Moon!

互相吐口水

You're too big to be a moon!

Surprise!

You're the biggest one!

出現一隻蜘蛛

That's why you're Jupiter!

在地上爬來爬去

Ugh, you bitch! I'm self-conscious.

所以你拿一張衛生紙

And, Sailor Saturn, you're the only one that can hula hoop here.

把他捏爆

I said I know HULA.

但你沒打中

I never said hula HOOP!

然後他往你身上爬

And I can hula hoop a little bit. I can switch with Saturn.

在你手臂上

No, because you have to be Mars.

他*的

You're the manliest one, and men are from Mars.

認真問你，你到底要耗上多...

Well, if men are from Mars, then women have to be from Venus...

我就快好了，你不能讓我一次做完嗎？

and Sailor Venus don't look very womanly.

好啦！你快點就是了

-Actually, that saying is wrong. -What?

好

Women aren't from Venus.

我剛剛做到哪裡了？

Hermaphrodites are.

再見了，鳴人

Hermaphrodites? You mean people with both parts?

佐助！

Yeah, a penis and a vagina.

香腸！！

I don't even want to switch planets!

美少女戰士

I'm proud to have a vagina-penis!

我很懷念這個雜誌，但我不喜歡他們PS我的樣子

I'm proud to have a Venus!

嘿!月野兔，我知道你是主角 但我在想或許我們今年可以換個星球?

Well, why can't I be Sailor Moon?

對啊~我們應該這麼做

I moon just as many people as you do.

對啊~那樣挺好

Yeah, but I keep my shorts on, Sailor Uranus.

不~木野真琴，我們討論過了

Are you slut shaming me?

星球代表我們的特質

(Arguing)

但我想要當看看月野兔

Guys, can I not be Pluto anymore?

你當月亮太大隻了，你是最大隻的所以你當土星

(Arguing)

你這個賤人，我很敏感的

Guys?

還有，土萠螢，你是這裡唯一會搖呼拉圈的人

(Arguing)

我是說我會跳草裙舞，不是呼拉圈 (hula草裙舞，hula hoop呼拉圈)

Oh yeah. I'm not part of the group anymore.

我會搖呼拉圈啊，我可以跟她換

Hey guys, smell your armbands. It's so...

不行! 因為你必須當火星， 因為你是最像男生的，男人是從火星來的

(burps)

如果男人是從火星來的話，女人就是從金星來的

(Arguing)

但，愛野美奈子看起來不像女生啊

Slut!

事實上，那個說法是錯的

(Chuckling)

啥?

Girls, right?

女人不是從金星來的，陰陽人才是

-(girl voice) Uh, what is that supposed to mean?-

陰陽人? 你是說男女器官都有的人?

(man voice) No, no, no, no, I just meant that girls fight a lot.

沒錯~ pp跟vv

-And guys don't!?-

我才不要換星球!我很驕傲我兩個都有 我很驕傲可以當今星

Yeah, I mean - but we just use our fists!

那我可以當月亮啊，我和你一樣都在閒晃啊

-So do we!-

是啊~但我至少都有把褲子穿好，天王遙

If you're looking for strength,

你是在"蕩婦羞辱"我嗎?

if you're looking for a strong blade,

我不是在蕩婦羞辱你

if you're looking...to

(機哩瓜啦)

become stronger than you've ever been before

我可以不要再當冥王星了嗎?

Then come on down to Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes!

喔...我不是行星了...

Where we cut and hairstyle - ALL anime heroes!

欸大家~聞聞你們的臂章，好噁

Men hairstyles to women hairstyles...

(繼續吵)

short, long, horny...

哈哈~女人嘛~

We do it all here at Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes!

呃....你剛說什麼?

You want that Super Saiyan look without all that Super Saiyan training?

不不不，我只是說女人吵架...

Well, I'm sayin',

男人就不會??

here at Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes...

對啊!我們不會，而且我們只用拳頭

Of course we're gonna specialize in bleach and hair!

死神

We bleached some of the most famous heroes in anime!

如果你在尋找力量...

Heroes you probably thought were AALL natural.

如果你在尋找利刃...

Goku to Naruto...

如果你在尋找...

to Lucy from Fairy Tail!

比以往都更加強大的能力...

We even bleached Sailor Uranus!

那就來「死神的理髮店」

I mean, Pikachu used to be brown, but we got to him!

專門將您打造為動漫英雄！我們可以為您修剪各種髮型

'Cause like the saying goes...

統統都是動漫人物的髮型哦！

Oh...

不論是男孩還是女孩的髮型

No!

短的、長的、捲捲的，我們都可以為您服務

Noooooooo~!

「死神理髮店」在這裡歡迎您前來成為動漫角色

No what?

你想要不透過那麼多的訓練就得到賽亞人的髮型嗎？

You - your shoelaces are untied.

就讓我再說一次吧！在這裡你可以得到所有你喜歡的髮型

You almost fell and uh...

當然了！我們會也提供漂白染髮服務

hit these bricks down.

我們常幫動漫英雄們的頭髮漂白哦！

Hey, thanks man. That's really nice of you.

那些動漫角色你以為他們的髮色都是正常的嗎？

Yeah.

從悟空到鳴人

Yeah!

到妖精尾巴裡的露西！

Yeaaaaaaaah~!

我們甚至幫水手天王星漂白髮色哦！

Are you supposed to be One Punch Man?

你看看，其實皮卡丘原本是褐色的哦

Yeah.

就如一句俗語所說：

I can pretty much defeat any anime hero with one punch.

如果你沒有酷炫髮型

Every anime hero?

你不能當一個真正的動漫英雄

Yeah.

喔慘了

Oh!

不...

Not too sure what I can do with that.

不！！

I guess I could paint an arrow on your head,

什麼不？

you could look like Aang.

你、你的鞋帶鬆掉了

Delivery?

你差一點就要跌倒了，然後你就會...

Oh! Thank God.

會打到這堆磚頭

Just, uh, sign here

嘿，謝了兄弟，你很貼心

I don't remember ordering anything but...

一拳超人

Wait, I don't think I ordered this.

你就是一拳超人嗎？

You're from Bleach, right?

嘿丟

Yeah.

我可以打敗所有的動漫角色，而且只需要靠一個拳頭

Yeah, that was for you.

所有的動漫角色？

I don't even know what these are.

嘿丟

What are these? Like colored rocks?

如果你沒有酷炫的髮型

Yes, it says here that they are rocks, but it's a French brand.

你不能當一個真正的動漫英雄

So it's not "color", it's "colour"... rocks.

噢！

What?

我不知道我能怎麼幫你耶

It's Clorox Bleach.

不過我想我可以在你頭上畫一個箭頭

Wha - what are you -

你看起來就會很像降世神通的「安」

What are you doing here?

快遞？

Just... dragging balls. See? (Dragon Ball Z)

謝謝你哦

Hey man! What's with all the commotion?

在這裡簽名

My shoes keep coming untied,

但我不記得我有訂任何東西啊...

no matter how hard I tighten them....

嗯，我想這不是我訂的

Oh, I've got the perfect thing for you.

你是「死人理髮店」的對吧？

What is that?

是的

It's a tack.

嗯，那這就是給你的

How is that gonna help me tighten my shoes?

但我根本不知道這些是什麼東西啊

Just stick it into your shoelace and it gets tighter.

這是啥，彩繪石頭？

It's a tack to tighten. (Attack on Titan)

嘿丟，那是彩色的石頭，還是法國來的

Oh cool! This Fairy Tail shirt's only $9.99!

所以，那不是彩繪的...是有色的石頭

I guess you could say it's some pretty "fair retail".

啥？

You suck!

那就是...有色的漂白石 （ㄏㄏ不懂）

Okay! Enough with the bad puns already! Okay, I get it.

你、你在這

One Pun-ch Man.

你在這裡幹嘛？

Okay, you make puns. Very funny, I get it.

就只是...拖著球 (dragging balls音近dragon balls七龍珠)

Actually, I'm not One Punch Man anymore.

看到了吧？

What? The square root of 4? What? I don't get it.

嘿老兄，怎麼有陣騷動？

I'm "four-root" punch.

我的鞋帶一直鬆掉

Seriously? Fruit Punch? That's the best you can do?

不管我多努力的試著去綁...

Sí.

噢，我有個很適合你的東西

Okay now, you really did go too far.

那啥？

You can't make that joke. You're Asian.

一個大頭釘

I know. That's why now I'm...

那要怎麼幫我把我的鞋帶綁上？

...punchink.

你就只要用它把你的鞋帶釘在你的鞋子上

Okay, really did just cross the line on that one.

讓它們緊緊貼在一起 （持續發音梗）

Actually, I'm uh... still on it.

噢酷欸！這個妖精尾巴的上衣只要賣9.99元！

Look. Enough is enough already.

我想你可以說那是個很平價的零售店 (fair retail平價零售 音近 fairytale童話)

A- Aren't you supposed to be One Punch... just one pun?

你爛透了 （suck有吸也有罵人爛的意思）

How many puns did you made already?

好了，夠了，不用再示範了，你的雙關語真是爛到爆

I don't know. Anywhere from one to a ton.

雙關語超人 （pun是雙關語，punch是拳）

Wh- what?

好的，你很喜歡雙關語，很幽默好棒棒

Aha! See?

其實，我已經不再是一拳超人了

I tricked you! You crossed the "too-many-puns-for-one-video" line...

什麼？根號四？你想跟我表達什麼？

And now you can't make anymore!

我是根號四拳 （four root punch音近 fruit punch一種雞尾酒）

So now, I can finally go ahead in this video without a dumb pun.

真假？果汁飲料？這就是你能想到最好笑的雙關？

Well, you didn't say that was a rule.

嘿丟

Yeah it is! You crossed the line, so you make anymore puns.

好的大哥，你現在真的有點太過火了

If you say so.

你不能開剛剛那種笑話，你是個亞洲人欸

Yes! I do.

我知道，這也就是為什麼

But just so I'm clear, this line represents the last pun of the video, right?

（chink是用來貶低中國人）

Yeah

你剛剛真的太超線了

So, technically then, this line is kind of the line I'm saying right now.

其實，我，呃，還在線上

What?

聽著，夠了，真的夠了！

Because it's the last...

你不是應該是一拳超人的嗎？怎麼變雙關語超人了？

punch line.

你今天到底說了幾個雙關語？