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  • - [Voiceover] Are you tired of living the same old comfortable life?

    你受夠了平凡舒適的生活了嗎?

  • Don't you want to go on an adventure and discover some new, hidden, secret surprises?

    想去冒險或是發現新世界和未知的驚喜嗎?

  • Isn't it about time to add some style to your life?

    現在不就是讓你成為多人的焦點的時刻嗎?

  • Well EveRy Airlines you'll never live the same old comfortable life again...

    趕快加入“每個航空公司” 你就不會繼續待在你平凡舒適的生活裡了!

  • because it's impossible to get comfortable!

    因為在這你絕對不會感覺舒服的!

  • You'll discover surprise, after surprise the moment you show up,

    只要一進來這裡,你就會不間斷的發現驚喜!

  • thanks to our hidden fees,

    感謝隱性收費,

  • and in terms of adding style to your life, we make sure that every single one of our customers,

    還有為了增加您的氣勢,我們會確保每位乘客都會

  • are fashionably late, thanks to:

    時髦的遲到一下,成為全場的焦點:

  • Delays

    這都要感謝”班機延誤“

  • Hi, I'm Ryan Higa, and here at EveRy Airlines we've always believed that your experience flying,

    您好,我是Ryan Higa,在”每個航空“, 我們相信您的飛行經驗,

  • should not just be good,

    不能只有美好

  • not just great,

    不能只有完美

  • not even just an all-around, amazing experience...

    不能只有完善的旅程體驗

  • so that's what we do.

    所以這就是我們的宗旨。

  • - Our motto here at EveRy Airlines, has always been just that,

    我們“每個航空”的左右銘一直都是:

  • even though you paid for this flight, (chuckles) we never work for you.

    就算您付了機票錢,我們也不會為您服務的ㄎㄎ

  • We're gonna be as rude and condescending as we want.

    我們想怎樣的無禮就怎樣的無禮

  • - Kinda like a DJ you know?

    我的工作其實有點像DJ

  • Push a couple buttons, have a couple sips,

    按一些按鈕,喝幾口調酒

  • before you know it we're there!

    在我注意到以前,就到目的地啦!

  • Pay me.

    錢錢拿來~

  • - So we got this game, right? It's kinda like the Mini-Olympics but, with bags.

    我們就在這邊玩遊戲嘛! 有點像小型奧運會,不過是丟行李

  • You take a luggage, but it has to have that little, red sticker on it.

    你只能拿有那個小紅色標籤“小心輕放”的行李

  • Rather than placing it down nicely, we shot put it onto the plane,

    不是把它輕輕的放置好,而是用力砸向飛機

  • and if we hear anything broken or anything in pieces,

    如果你聽到有東西破掉或碎裂的聲音

  • then you lose!

    你就輸啦!

  • Though, it's for fun, but it also makes us be careful with everyones' "frag-iley" stuff.

    不只好玩,還可以讓我們更加小心任何易碎物。

  • - One of my pet peeves are when people ask for things, but we take customer service very seriously here.

    我們最討厭的其中一項工作是,客戶會要求某些東西, 不過我們非常嚴肅看待客戶的需求

  • So immediately after we're finished doing what we're doing like

    所以我們會先完成我們正在做的事情再去幫助客戶, 像是

  • gossiping and taking a nap, or eating our food...

    聊八卦啊,睡個午覺啊,或是吃點東西啊

  • well not the customers' food - the good food. Heh, heh.

    噢,不是飛機餐,是真正的食物,呵呵呵...

  • We go over to the customer and politely say:

    我們會走到客戶旁邊,很客氣地問:

  • "What?"

    幹嘛?

  • - Sometimes we like to do this thing up here, we turn the entertainment system

    有時候我們會把飛機娛樂系統調得很小聲,

  • all the way down so when the passengers put their headphones on, they turn it up.

    所以當客戶把耳機戴上,他們聽不見任何聲音, 客戶就會一直調整音量

  • They can't even hear anything, and then out of nowhere, I pick up the PA and

    然後沒有預警的,我就打開廣播系統

  • (microphone feedback) - [Voiceover] This is your captain speaking.

    ”機長廣播“

  • Scare the s*** outta them.

    嚇死他們叫媽媽的慘

  • - But even with our incredible staff,

    但是 除了我們優秀的員工外

  • EveRy Airlines wouldn't be what it is today without the help of all of you:

    “每個航空公司”能有今天的成就,還是要感謝您:

  • our loyal EveRy Airlines members.

    每個忠誠的“每個航空”貴賓!

  • Who show up to almost every single flight.

    每次總會有那麼幾個這樣的乘客:

  • From the parents who ignore their screaming kids member,

    放任自己孩子胡亂的父母親、

  • to the angry businessman shouting on his cellphone for the whole plane to hear,

    整個旅程都在抓狂講電話的上班族、

  • to the guy who didn't learn shapes as a kid,

    小時候沒學過什麼形狀只能容納什麼形狀的客戶、

  • to the armrest hugger,

    搶別人握把的客戶、

  • the leg spreader,

    兩腿張開開的客戶、

  • the guy who sits window, but has to pee every 20 minutes,

    坐窗邊卻每20分鐘就要上一次廁所的客戶、

  • the overly friendly guy who talks the whole flight despite seeing you trying to sleep

    過度友善的乘客一直跟旁邊的人講話, 完全忽略他只想要睡覺

  • even the guy who's constantly farting, thinking we don't know it's him.

    還有那個一直放屁以為沒人發現是他的乘客

  • And even though we have fun here at EveRy Airlines, we always take

    我們“每個航空公司”不只在乎玩樂,

  • your safety very seriously with our newly updated:

    我們還非常在乎您的安全:

  • "Honest Safety Demonstration Video."

    ”誠實安全示範影片“

  • - [Voiceover] Hello, and welcome to EveRy Airlines, this is your safety

    您好,非常感謝您搭乘腸絨航空,

  • demonstration video which none of you are actually going to listen to,

    現在為您播放安全示範影片, 事實上,你們沒有一個人會看的,

  • but we're going to do it anyway, so that you don't sue us.

    不過我們還是得播放,這樣出事以後才不會有人告我們

  • There four emergency exits on this aircraft, in the unlikely event of surviving a plane crash,

    機身有四個緊急逃身出口; 而萬一發生空難你存活了下來,

  • a life vest is located in a pouch underneath your seat.

    救生衣就在您座位下方的袋子裡。

  • But, so is the luggage of the guy sitting behind so you, so you probably won't

    不過,您後面乘客的隨身行李也差不多就卡在那個位置,所以你大概

  • have access to it in the event of a change in air pressure,

    無法把它拿出來。 而當氣壓產生變化

  • An oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you.

    氧氣罩會自動出現在您面前

  • If you don't already know how to put on a mask and breathe,

    如果您不知道如何戴上氧氣罩和呼吸

  • chances are you're not going to survive anyway.

    反正您能生存的機率也差不多低。

  • If you are traveling with a child or someone who requires assistance,

    如果你攜帶嬰孩,或是需要幫助的其他旅客

  • be sure to apply your mask first because your life is more important.

    先確定自己已經戴上氧氣罩,因為您的生命為優先考量

  • #priority.

    #優先次序

  • We remind you that this is a non-smoking flight, as compared to

    提醒您,跟其他的能吸菸班機相比,

  • all the other smoking flights that you have taken.

    這是不可吸菸的班機。

  • You will find this, and all other safety information in the card located between the vomit bag with gum in it and

    你或許會在刊物夾層裡發現其他的安全說明, 就放置在已被使用的嘔吐袋裡

  • our dirty complimentary magazine that's held together by children's boogers,

    還有髒掉的免費雜誌,內頁都黏在一起。

  • located underneath the tray table, that we don't clean.

    以及藏在托盤下我們根本沒清洗的小孩鼻涕。

  • If you have any other questions, please hesitate to ask a flight attendant, it's a real bother to the

    如果您還有其他問題,請遲疑地想要不要提出,

  • conversation that we're having in the back.

    因為這真的會打擾後台我們的閒聊。

  • "Thank you, and have a safe flight."

    感謝您的收看,希望您有個美好的旅程。

  • ...Is what you should be saying to us, for letting you join us today.

    其實讓您們參與這團隊,所以是您要對我們說的

  • You're welcome.

    不客氣!

  • (loudspeaker feedback)

    你們還在等什麼?趕快訂下“每個航空”的機票

  • - So what are you waiting for? Book your flight with EveRy Airlines today,

    還是不相信我們嗎?

  • - [Voiceover] still don't believe us?

    來看看這些顧客滿意的秀拇指唄~

  • Well check out these satisfied customers showing us their thumbs.

    嗯哼,我們或許有點骯髒

  • - Yeah, we may be a little dirty,

    延誤

  • - delayed,

    昂貴

  • - expensive,

    討人厭

  • - annoying,

    粗心

  • - careless,

    整體來說就是很糟

  • - all-around just awful,

    不過就像我們“每個航空公司”常說的

  • - but like we always say here at EveRy Airlines...

    你還有其他選擇嗎?

  • What other choice do you have?

    耶~~~~

  • - [Everyone] WHOOOO!

    “每個航空公司.....你還是待在家裡就好了吧”

  • - [Voiceover] EveRy Airlines:

- [Voiceover] Are you tired of living the same old comfortable life?

你受夠了平凡舒適的生活了嗎?

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    韓澐 發佈於 2016 年 10 月 11 日
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