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If you're still struggling with consent, just imagine instead of initiating sex,
如果你仍搞不清楚,「對方是否同意性交」 我們不妨換個問題...
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you're making them a cup of tea. You say "hey, would you like a cup of tea?"
讓我們先把問題換成 「請問你想喝杯茶嗎?」
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And they go "oh my god, I would LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!"
而他說「當然好啊!謝謝你」
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Then you know they want a cup of tea.
那麼你就知道,他確實想喝茶。
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If you say "hey, would you like a cup of tea?" and they're like "um... you know, I'm not really sure…"
同樣問題「請問你想喝杯茶嗎?」而他的反應是「嗯...不太確定耶...」
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then you can make them a cup of tea, or not, but be aware they might not drink it,
那麼你就能泡杯茶,不泡茶也行,但切記:他並不一定會喝。
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and if they don't drink it then – and this is the important part – don't make them drink it.
如果他不喝的話... 重點來了!別逼人家喝茶!
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Just because you made it doesn't mean you are entitled to watch them drink it.
就算你已經泡好茶了並不代表別人非喝不可
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And If they say "No thank you" then don't make them tea. At all. Just don't make them tea,
若他說「不用了,謝謝」那就別泡茶,不用,別泡茶就對了
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don't make them drink tea, don't get annoyed at them for not wanting tea.
不用逼他喝茶、他不喝茶也別對人家發火
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They just don't want tea, ok? They might say "Yes please, that's kind of you"
啊他就不想喝茶啊,行嗎? 也許有人會說「好啊,你人真好」
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and then when the tea arrives they actually don't want the tea at all.
結果當你泡好茶後,他又突然不想喝茶了
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Sure, that's kind of annoying as you've gone to all the effort of making the tea,
這蠻惱人的,畢竟你已經大費周章泡好茶了
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but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea. They did want tea, now they don't.
但請記住,他沒有義務要喝茶。人家原本想喝,又突然不想了
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Some people change their mind in the time that it takes to boil that kettle, brew the tea and add the milk.
也許在你燒開水、沖茶葉、加牛奶時,他改變主意了
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And it's ok for people to change their mind, and you are still not entitled to watch them drink it.
改變主意沒什麼大不了吧!你終究沒有權利逼人家喝茶。
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And If they are unconscious, don't make them tea.
如果他意識不清,就別泡茶了
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Unconscious people don't want tea and they can't answer the question "do you want tea"
這種情況沒人想喝茶,也無法回答「你要不要喝茶」這種問題
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because they're are unconscious. Ok, maybe they were conscious when you asked them if they wanted tea,
因為他早就失去意識了。好吧,或許你之前問他時,他仍有意識
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and they said yes, but in the time it took you to boil the kettle,
而他也說好,但在你準備的時候
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brew the tea and add the milk, they are now unconscious.
燒開水、沖茶葉、加牛奶 一回頭他就失去意識了
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You should just put the tea down, make sure the unconscious person is safe, and this is the important part again
請把茶放下,確保昏迷的人是安全的。而重點又來了
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– don't make them drink the tea. They said yes then, sure, but unconscious people don't want tea.
不要逼人家喝茶。雖然他之前說好,但失去意識的人不會想喝茶。
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If someone said yes to tea, started drinking it,
若某人想喝茶,喝一喝後
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and then passed out before they'd finished it, don't keep on pouring it down their throat.
然後昏了過去,茶也沒喝完。別往人家喉嚨裡灌茶
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Take the tea away. Make sure they're safe. Because unconscious people don't want tea.
把茶拿開,確保他的安全,因為意識不清的人不想喝茶
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Trust me on this. If someone said "yes" to tea around your house last Saturday,
相信我,就算上週末有人來你家喝茶
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that doesn't mean that they want you to make them tea all the time.
也不代表他想天天都想找你喝茶
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They don't want you to come around at their place unexpectedly and make them tea
沒人喜歡突然有人來家裡泡茶
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and force them to drink it going "BUT YOU WANTED TEA LAST WEEK",
甚至逼他喝茶,還說「但你上週有喝茶啊」
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or to wake up to find you pouring tea down their throat going "BUT YOU WANTED TEA LAST NIGHT".
或一覺醒來,發現你朝他的喉嚨灌茶,還一邊說「但你昨晚很想喝茶啊」
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If you can understand how completely ludicrous it is to force people to have tea when they don't want tea
如果你能理解以上行為有多麼可笑
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and you are able to understand when people don't want tea,
而你也能判斷他人是否想喝茶,我們現在把「喝茶」
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then how hard is it to understand it when it comes to sex? Whether it's tea or sex, Consent Is Everything.
換回「性交」就好懂了吧? 不管是「喝茶」還是「性交」,取得同意就是一切
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And on that note, I am going to make myself a cup of tea.
說得我都口渴了,我要去泡杯茶來喝了