Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

已審核 字幕已審核
  • It's tempting to think of marriage as old-fashioned.

    我們很容易覺得,婚姻已經過時了

  • Why not just live with someone and be done with it?

    為什麼不直接住在一起就好?

  • What need for a public ceremony?

    為什麼需要公開儀式?

  • Why the weird traditions, all those churches, temples, hymns, vows, and prayers?

    為什麼有這些奇怪的傳統、教堂、廟宇、聖歌、誓詞和禱詞?

  • Marriage must be a silly relic from the religious childhood of human kind.

    婚姻想必是人類宗教成長期的愚蠢遺俗

  • Not designed for the more logical modern world.

    而不是為較為有邏輯的現代世界而設計的

  • And yet, it survives.

    然而,它仍存在

  • The essence of marriage is to tie our hands, to frustrate our wills, to put high and costly obstacles in the way of splitting up.

    婚姻的本質是綁住我們的雙手,阻撓我們的意志,在離開彼此的路上設立高大且代價高昂的障礙

  • Why do we do this?

    我們為什麼要這樣做?

  • Originally, we told ourselves that God wanted us to stay married.

    最初我們告訴自己是上帝要我們繼續留在婚姻中

  • But even now, when God is not invoked, we keep making sure that marriage is rather hard to undo.

    但即使是現在,當我們已經不再祈求上帝庇護,我們仍持續確保婚姻難以解除

  • For one thing, you carefully invite everyone you know to watch you say you'll stick together.

    首先,你小心翼翼地邀請所有認識的人看著你說你們會一直在一起

  • You willingly create a huge layer of embarrassment, will you ever to turn around and admit it might've been a mistake.

    你自願地創造一抹尷尬,當你轉過身來並承認這一直以來是個錯誤

  • Furthermore, even though you could keep things separate.

    再者,即使你結婚後仍想把彼此的事情分開

  • Marriage tends to meet deep economic and legal entanglements.

    婚姻容易使你深陷在經濟和法律的糾纏之中

  • You know it's gonna take the work of a phalanx of accountants and lawyers to prise you apart.

    你知道你將會需要許多會計師和律師強制分開你們

  • It could be done, but it will be ruinous.

    這是可行的,但這將會是毀滅性的

  • It's as if we somewhere recognize that there might rather strangely, be some quite good though uncomfortable reasons.

    說來奇怪,我們意識到會有一些好的但令人不太舒服的原因

  • By making it difficult to split up a union, can be an advantage for its members.

    讓這個結合難以分開能讓婚姻裡的兩人受益

  • The marshmallow test was a celebrated experiment in the history of psychology.

    棉花糖實驗是在心理學歷史上備受推崇的實驗

  • Designed to measure children's ability to delay gratification.

    實驗是為了測量小孩延遲享樂的能力

  • And track the consequences of being able to think long term.

    以及追蹤有遠期思考能力對未來的影響而設計的

  • Some three-year-old children were offered a marshmallow.

    發放給一群三歲小孩一人一個棉花糖

  • but told they would get two if they held off from eating the first one for five minutes.

    告知他們如果忍住五分鐘不吃第一個棉花糖就可以拿到兩個棉花糖

  • It turned out a lot of children just couldn't make it through this period. It was too tempting.

    結果顯示很多小孩沒辦法度過這五分鐘。這太誘人了

  • The less immediate benefit of gobbling the marshmallow in front of them was stronger than the strategy of waiting.

    直接吃下眼前的棉花糖比等待更令人滿足

  • Crucially, it was observed that these children went on to have lives blighted by a lack of impulse control.

    關鍵點是,觀察顯示這些小孩在未來都欠缺控制衝動的能力

  • And fared much worse than the children, who were best at subordinating immediate fun for long term benefit.

    並比能考量長期利益勝於眼前樂趣的小孩過得比較不好

  • Relationships are perhaps no different. Hereto, many things feel very urgent.

    感情或許也是一樣。在此,很多事感覺起來很緊急

  • We're angry, and want to get out.

    我們生氣,想要逃離

  • We're excited by a new person.

    我們因新對象感到興奮

  • And need to abandon our present partner at once.

    而需要立刻拋棄現在的伴侶

  • And yet, as we look around for the exit, every way seems blocked.

    然而,當我們四處觀看尋找出口時,每條路似乎都被堵住了

  • It would cost a fortune, it would be embarrassing, it would take an age.

    這會付出一些代價,這也會令人尷尬,也會花費一些時間

  • This isn't a coincidence.

    這並不是巧合

  • Marriage is a giant inhibitor of impulse.

    婚姻是一個強大的衝動抑制劑,

  • Set up by our conscience to keep our libidinous, ungrateful, wild desiring selves in check.

    由理智所調配的,為了約束充滿性慾的、不知感恩的、有狂亂慾望的我們

  • What we're essentially buying into by submitting to its dictates, is the insight that we are, as individuals.

    真正使我們步入離婚的是身為個體的我們

  • Likely to make very poor choices, onto the sway of strong short-term impulses.

    傾向於在強烈的短期衝動搖擺之下做出不明智的決定

  • To marry is to recognize that we require structure, to insulate us from our urges.

    結婚意味著我們需要一個規範,以讓我們遠離衝動

  • It's to lock ourselves up willingly. Because we don't trust ourselves.

    我們自願被枷鎖鎖住,因為我們不信任自己

  • It's a very unusual marriage indeed, in which the two people don't spend a notable amount of time fantasizing.

    這的確是個非常不尋常的婚姻,在婚姻中兩個人不會花很多時間幻想

  • That they weren't in fact married. But the point of marriage is to make these feelings not matter very much.

    他們還沒結婚。但婚姻的重點在於不讓這個感覺太重要

  • It's an arrangement that protects us from what we desire.

    這是一個讓我們遠離慾望的安排,

  • And yet know, in our more reasonable moments, we don't truly need, or even perhaps want.

    然我們靜下來思考後會知道,我們其實不太需要,或甚至想要這種安排

  • At their best, relationships involve us in attempts to develop mature and become whole.

    一段感情最大的優點就是我們會去嘗試發展成熟且完整

  • We often get drawn to people, precisely because they promise to edge us in the right directions.

    我們往往會被那些答應指引我們朝正確方向邁進的人吸引

  • But it's too easy to seem kind and normal, when we keep going out with someone new.

    但一直跟新的人約會容易讓我們看似是善良又正常的人

  • The truth about us on the basis of which self-improvement begins, only becomes clear over time.

    我們的自我成長能力只會隨著時間越來越明瞭

  • Chances of development increase hugely, when we don't keep running away to people who will forcely reassure us.

    成長的機會大幅增加,當我們不一直想逃跑到努力安撫我們

  • There is nothing too wrong with us.

    告訴我們我們並沒有什麼太大的問題的時候

  • Over time, the argument for marriage has shifted. It's no longer about external forces having power over us.

    隨著時間,婚姻的觀點已轉變。它已不再是關於外在強制力對我們的壓抑

  • What we are correctly now focused on, is the psychological point of making it hard to throw it all in.

    我們現在面臨的心理學問題是全心投入為何變得困難

  • For the last fifty years, the burden of intelligent effort has been on attempting to make separation easier.

    在過去五十年,聰明人努力讓分開變得更簡單

  • The challenge now, lies in another direction.

    而現在的挑戰則在於另一個方向

  • In trying to remind ourselves, why immediate flight doesn't always make sense.

    並且提醒我們自己,為何立即逃跑並不總是有道理的

  • And trying to see the point of holding out for the second marshmallow.

    並嘗試去理解等待第二個棉花糖的好處

It's tempting to think of marriage as old-fashioned.

我們很容易覺得,婚姻已經過時了

字幕與單字
已審核 字幕已審核

影片操作 你可以在這邊進行「影片」的調整,以及「字幕」的顯示

B1 中級 中文 英國腔 婚姻 棉花糖 分開 小孩 能力 實驗

幹嘛要結婚 (Why Bother With Marriage?)

  • 64789 4211
    Hsin 發佈於 2016 年 11 月 23 日
影片單字