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What happened when you flip a car with a raw cage held together by a duct tape?
若你將一台車放入用膠布捆成的籠子後滾下山坡,將會如何呢?
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Duct tape joints. No welds.
純粹以膠布黏合,未經焊接
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That was a dummy.
那只是個假人
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I'll never get in that car tilt together by a duct tape.
我怎麼可能親自坐上那台膠布黏的車!
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But what if you use tape as strong as steel?
但是若膠布跟鋼鐵一樣堅固呢?
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Manliness
男子氣概
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Tape joints. No welds.
純粹以膠布黏合,未經焊接
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Strong as steel
跟鋼鐵一樣堅固
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Here's the thing: your manliness
重點來了:你的男子氣概
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Your shovels break, your pipes leak.
你的鏟子壞了,你的水管漏水
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Your mouther falls off cuz a manly man, will not be marveled.
你的接合管掉下來了,你的男人味不再讓人驚艷
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You need a manly solution for those manly problem.
你需要一個有男子氣概的解決辦法來解決那些男人的問題
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Duct tape is temporary. It only gets you so far.
膠布是暫時的,他只是一時的
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Keeps the pieces together without actually make things work again.
僅能暫時把零碎的部分年起,但事實上沒有修好
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Like my birthday with my parents' marriage.
就像我出生時並未修補我爸媽的婚姻
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The hardware store may have new shovels, brass pipes but a manly man doesn't want to spend his Saturday at store.
五金行可能有新的鏟子、銅管,但是有男子氣概的男人絕不想在五金行耗費週六時光
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Unless that store is a co-word for a big screen TV that feature
除非店裡有大電視 然後上映我喜歡的節目
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You could call a handyman or a plumber, but they charge for consultation plus the price in the new parts
你可以叫水電工或修水管的人來,但他們可能會多收你諮詢費、零件費
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plus labor, plus dignity and your wife depending on how sexy your plumber is.
勞力費、你的尊嚴和你的老婆(取決於水電工有多性感)
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Well, there's a manly solution for your manly problems.
但是,有一個很 man 的解決方法
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FiberFix. FiberFix is a special tape that's strong as steel.
FiberFix 是一種無堅不摧的特殊膠帶
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It's not an expression. It's literally as strong as steel.
不只是說說,它真的無堅不摧
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I'm not prone to hyperbolic
我不是向來就這麼浮誇的
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FiberFix can be used anywhere.
FiberFix 可以用在任何地方
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Got a busted pipe?
水管壞了?
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FiberFix it.
用 FiberFix 來修
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Only if you want that pipe to function properly for the rest of your mother loving life
只有當你想要水管可以一輩子都正常運作
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because FiberFix is strong, permanent and 100% watertight.
因為 FiberFix 堅固、持久而且百分之百不漏水
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Repairs like that can cost hundreds of dollars.
像那樣的維修費可能高達幾百美元
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Fix it yourself with FiberFix spend the rest of savings on something manly
用 FiberFix 自己修理,就可以省下錢去做一些更有男子氣概的事
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like hunting equipment or diversify stock portfolio that's sensible yet aggressive enough to expect reasonable ROI.
像是獵具或是分散股票投資風險,那些很敏感卻夠有侵略性,足以預期很好的投資報酬率 (return on investment)
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Because that's manly, too.
因為就是很 man
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A quick FiberFix can save your Saturday.
用一個簡單的 FiberFix 膠帶可以拯救你的星期六
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Dual? broke? FiberFix!
用 FiberFix 來修!
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Saturday saved.
省下週六
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Broken stool? Yeah, that's FiberFix, the sand to be smooth, painted to be beautiful, like the toenails of a brownie woman.
壞掉的凳子?用 FiberFix 來磨得光滑、噴漆噴得美美的,就像金髮尤物的腳趾甲
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Camping in the middle of nowhere with broken tent pole? FiberFix!
在野外露營但帳篷的支架卻壞掉?用 FiberFix 來修!
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Saturday saved.
拯救星期六
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exhausted pipes, water heaters, FiberFix can fix it all and it withstands temperature of up to 850 degrees.
耗損的水管、熱水供應器,全部用 FiberFix 來修理,而且它能承受攝氏850度高溫
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If there were any stronger, you can use it to repair volcano.
假如他更厲害的話恐怕能修理火山吧
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FiberFix is 100 times stronger than duct tape because it uses fiber glass technology.
FiberFix 比一般膠布堅固100倍因為它使用玻璃纖維的技術
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Just dip it in water, wrap it, wait 10 minutes, bang!
把它放進水裡、包裹它、等十分鐘,就完成了
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Cured, hardened, strong as steel.
解決、強化,堅固如鋼鐵
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FiberFix, tougher than nails and softer than nothing because it's FiberFix.
FiberFix,比螺絲還堅固,比什麼都還柔軟,因為它是 FiberFix
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It wasn't made to be soft. You wanna soft? Go buy a poppy and tissue, and blow its nose into.
它本來就不是要做柔軟的材質,你想要它柔軟?用衛生紙幫小狗擤鼻涕吧!
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You wanna tough? Buy FiberFix.
想要貌似強悍嗎?買 FiberFix 就對了
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So if you break things and would like to un-break them, click here to order FiberFix today at FiberFix.com
所以假如你弄壞東西,然後想要恢復原狀,就按這個按鈕,登入我們的網站
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FiberFix provides first-aid kit, you shouldn't wait until you cut yourself before you go out and buy one cuz you bleed out and die
FiberFix 提供救護箱,你不該不見棺材不掉淚,因為如此一來你早已血流不止而死亡
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according about what I know about cuts.
我的觀察啦
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You gotta have that kit ready the moment you need just like you need FiberFix before some breaks.
要防患未然,就像東西壞掉之前就買好 FiberFix
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In your house, your glove box, your toolbox, your fanny pack,
在你家、你車子前方的雜物櫃、你的工具箱、你的霹靂包
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so when the poop hits the fan, you can wrap the poop and FiberFix. Heaven helped that fan.
所以當情況很糟時,你可以把大便包起來然後用 FiberFix 黏好。感謝老天救了那部貨車
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Or maybe you're thinking,"Do I have to buy FiberFix?"
或者,你在想:「我一定要買 FiberFix 嗎?」
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Can't I just use 100 times more duct tape?
我可以用一百倍的一般膠布黏他就好了嗎?
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Sure, you could totally do that.
當然啊,你可以這樣做...
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Or maybe you're thinking FiberFix's tape that can't be a permanent solution.
又或者是你在想 FiberFix 不可能一勞永逸
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Well, you should stop being such a tape racist cuz this is nothing like any other tape you've seen before.
喂,別歧視這款膠帶啊!保證是你前所未見的
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Yes, these raw cages held together by nothing but FiberFix and no I did not weld it.
沒錯,這些車籠子完全沒有焊接,只用 FiberFix 黏合
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It's called FiberFix, it's in permanent fix like when you get your dog fixed, there's no going back.
這就是 FiberFix,是永遠的解決辦法,就像你要治療你家的狗,沒有回頭路
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Sorry, boy. Here's your tissue.
抱歉,小寶貝,這衛生紙給你
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Is FiberFix for women, too? Just ask my smoking hot wife.
FiberFix 也有設計給女人用的?問問我火辣的老婆就知道
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Yes, it is. (clap) back to you, husband.
沒錯~把現場交還給你囉,老公
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So click here and we'll send you our manly man kit complete with FiberFix repair aid, heat wrap, patches.
點選連結,我們就會送你一組很 man 的男人必備工具,裡面有完整的 FiberFix 維修組合、耐熱膠布、補丁
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You'll be ready to repair anything, anytime, anywhere.
你隨時隨地修理任何東西
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So you can spend the rest of your time winning your wife back from the plumber
並從水電工那兒贏回老婆的心
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So unless you've never broken anything in your life ever, click here to try FiberFix today.
除非你在一生中沒用壞過東西,今天就按這個連結進到 FiberFix 的網站試試吧
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FiberFix for every man including women.
FiberFix 適合任何男人和女人