Texted your ex? Anybody?

傳過簡訊給前任，有嗎？

Alright, usually it involves a little bit of a...

好吧，通常會做出這種蠢事是因為...

You know.

你懂的。

A whole lot of that.

喝了很多酒。

Someone on Instagram had a great idea.

在 Instagram 上，有個人想了相當好的點子。

They have collected text conversations and put together an account called "Texts from your ex".

他收集了很多聊天紀錄，然後開了個叫做「前任傳的簡訊」的帳號。

And they're hilarious.

那些內容很好笑。

They make me very, very happy that I'm married.

它們讓我非常、非常欣慰我已經結婚了。

Um, here...

呃，來看看...

This is, uh—these are real.

這些聊天紀錄是真的。

So here's a few that they've posted.

我們從中選了幾篇來分享。

I got us a kitten.

我為我們買了隻貓咪。

I was hoping you'd come back to me and help me take care of her.

我希望你能回到我身邊，跟我一起照顧牠。

I named her Delilah.

我想叫這隻貓咪 Delilah。

That's a picture from Google.

那是 Google 來的圖片。

I'm not saying it's that exact kitten.

我又沒說那張照片是那隻貓咪。

It just looks like that. I haven't gotten it yet.

只是長得像，我又還沒買。

But I picked it out already.

但我已經選好要買哪隻了。

Here's another one.

還有一篇。

I ruined the best thing in my life.

我毀了我生命中最美好的事情。

I ran away from my best friend and I'm paying for it dearly.

我拋棄了我最好的朋友，而我現在正為此付出極大代價。

I feel like I will never find someone like you, and this is entirely based on my insane mind.

我覺得我永遠不會找到另一個跟你一樣完美的人了，而這完全是我發了神經的後果。

I feel empty and now you're gone.

我覺得空虛，而你也離開我了。

Maybe forever, I'm freaking an idiot.

或許永遠離我而去了。我真是該死的白痴。

I don't know how to feel okay.

我不知道怎麼讓心情好起來。

You can always try Tinder.

你總還可以試試 Tinder。

Here's another one: Peace.

這兒還有一篇。再會了。

Peace.

再會了。

Bye.

掰掰。

Peace.

再會了。

I want the final word. Stop responding.

我想要當最後說再見的人，不要再回了。

Here's the last one.

最後一個。

I still want you.

我還是想要你。

I know.

我知道。

I love you.

我愛你。

It's your wedding day. You're drunk.

你今天結婚耶！你喝醉了。

To see more, go check out "Texts from my ex" on Instagram.

如果想看更多爆笑內容，請上 Instagram 搜尋「前任傳的簡訊」。