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  • Nowadays we're pretty tough on people who have a certain kind of fear.

    現在的人變得不大能容忍有某種恐懼的人們

  • People who are afraid of getting close.

    害怕親近他人的人們

  • People who need to sit alone for quite a long time every day.

    每天需要獨處很長一段時間的人們

  • People who don't always find it easy to say what's on their minds.

    不太能吐露心事的人們

  • People who need their space.

    需要自己的空間的人們

  • We say these sort of people have got a fear of intimacy,

    我們說這些人們對於親密感有恐懼

  • and that's not a good thing to have.

    而這不是件好事

  • It can get you in trouble.

    這會是個問題

  • But criticizing the fear of intimacy doesn't seem right or very productive at all.

    但對於「恐懼親密感」指指點點是不對的、沒有意義的

  • We'd be far better off with a different approach.

    用另一種方法會更好

  • For a start, if someone is scared of something,

    首先,如果有人害怕某件事

  • it's never a great idea just to say they're silly and that there's nothing to be worried about.

    說他們愚蠢、說這沒甚麼好怕的,都不是個好主意

  • It's a lot more effective to say: we're a bit scared too, and that it's actually normal to worry.

    更好的說法是 : 其實我們也是會怕怕的,會擔心是正常的

  • Then, it is a good idea to try to understand the fear.

    然後,我們該去了解這種恐懼

  • Where has it come from?

    恐懼是從哪來的呢?

  • There's almost always a history to someone who is afraid of intimacy.

    這樣的故事總是說來話長

  • A history where getting close to other people got them hurt,

    在過去他們曾經因為和他人親近而受到傷害

  • so that closeness has become a problem.

    因此「親密」變成了問題

  • We should also take on board just how much of life is about not being intimate.

    我們應該想想,我們的生命中有多少時間是「不親密」的呢?

  • From an early age we're taught we need to be strong, independent and brave.

    從小我們學習要堅強、獨立、勇敢、

  • We need to hide our emotions, not say how we're feeling,

    隱藏自己的情緒、不輕易吐露心事、

  • bottle up what's going on inside.

    隱藏真正的自己

  • It is no wonder we sometimes find it hard to change gear, and become masters at the art of intimacy.

    怪不得,有時我們覺得很難改變自己,很難學習與人親密這門藝術

  • It's not surprising if we should get a bit stuck and not quite know what to do with the request to say exactly how we feel.

    我們會突然愣住,不曉得如何吐露心事,這也不令人訝異

  • We've been out in the world too long.

    我們脫離這個人與人的世界太久了

  • We're battle-hardened and just not used to it.

    我們被戰役洗練得剛毅冷血,對於親密感不再習慣了

  • We might need a little time.

    我們或許需要一點時間

  • So let's go easy on those with a fear of intimacy.

    我們應該對「親密恐懼」放寬心

  • They're not bad people.

    他們不是壞人

  • They just find a difficult thing tricky,

    他們只是暫時走不出陰影

  • and we should be on hand to help them with gentleness and understanding.

    我們應該溫和並且諒解地幫助他們

Nowadays we're pretty tough on people who have a certain kind of fear.

現在的人變得不大能容忍有某種恐懼的人們

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A2 初級 中文 英國腔 親密 吐露 親密感 隱藏 戰役 溫和

【The School of Life】對親密的恐懼 (The Fear of Intimacy)

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    VoiceTube   發佈於 2017 年 06 月 11 日
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