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  • - Ooh, that's nice.

    -喔嗚~~ 真是太爽啦

  • Oh, yeah. Ohh.

    喔耶~ 喔~

  • Oh, yeah.

    就是這樣,爽啦

  • - Can you pass me those time sheets over there?

    -你可以幫我拿一下放在那邊的工時表嗎?

  • - [strains]

    - (費盡力氣)

  • Can't reach.

    我...拿...不到

  • Nope, can't do it.

    沒辦法,我拿不到

  • - You're a real asset to this company.

    -你還真的是我們公司裡的「人才」耶= = (譯註: 此處的asset並非褒義,乃是使用反諷的語氣來諷刺伊恩)

  • - What? Your air conditioning's

    -怎樣啦?只有妳這邊的冷氣

  • the only one that's crotch accessible.

    才能吹到我的胯下嘛

  • - Hey, Lori, have we got a lost and found?

    -嘿,羅莉,請問一下我們這裡有失物招領箱嗎?

  • This is it?

    就只有這些東西而已嗎?

  • Seems like kids would lose a lot more stuff.

    我還以為小朋友還滿常弄丟東西的

  • - That's just the overflow. - Yeah,

    -這些是塞不下多出來的 -就是啊

  • the rest of it's in... the room.

    剩下的東西都放在...「那間」房間

  • [dramatic music]

    (誇張戲劇性音樂)

  • - The room?

    -「那間」房間?

  • [dramatic music]

    (誇張戲劇性音樂)

  • - 25 years of lost items.

    -25年以來不斷累積的遺失物品

  • - There must be hundreds of dollars worth of stuff in here.

    -這裡的東西應該都值好幾百塊(美元)吧?

  • We should have a rummage sale,

    我們應該來辦一場慈善拍賣會

  • and then donate the proceeds to my Eagle Scout troupe.

    這樣我就能捐一些錢給我的鷹級童子軍團了呢 (譯註: Eagle Scout是美國童軍(BSA)的最高級別,此稱號為永久性的,所以會有「一旦為鷹,永遠是鷹」的說法)

  • - That's a good idea, Pete.

    -皮特,這主意還真不賴呢

  • I'm gonna make you Employee of the Month.

    這個月的最佳員工非你莫屬啦

  • - Awesome! You know,

    -太棒了!妳知道嗎

  • the guys and I are gonna finally be able

    我和那些童子軍終於能踏上

  • to adopt that piece of highway we've had our eye on.

    我們心目中所嚮往的道路了

  • Oh, it's gonna be so clean.

    喔,這裡一定會變得非常乾淨的

  • - That's cute.

    -你還真可愛

  • Sad, but cute.

    雖然悲哀,但還是可愛啦

  • [playful music]

    (俏皮音樂)

  • - [man singing] This is America

    - (男聲) 這裡是美國

  • Land of dreams

    夢想的發源之地

  • Everyone can climb higher

    每個人都能高高在上

  • - [women singing] No you know you're stuck here

    - (女聲) 你錯了,你明知道自己被困在這裡

  • 'Cause you're a part-timer yeah

    因為你只是個實習工讀生,耶~

  • - [man singing] You can do anything

    - (男聲) 想做什麼都隨心所欲

  • - [woman singing] As long as it's not hard

    - (女聲) 前提是不要太難

  • - [man singing] And you can go anywhere

    - (男聲) 想去哪玩也隨心所欲

  • - [woman singing] As soon as you get a car

    - (女聲) 前提是你得有車

  • - [man singing] You're gonna be a huge success

    - (男聲) 你就能坐擁天下

  • - [woman singing] Come on that's not who you are

    - (女聲) 拜託,你以為你是誰?

  • - [man singing] You're a part-timer cursed

    - (男聲) 實習工讀生是一種詛咒

  • With full-time dreams

    雖然充滿夢想

  • And this low-paying job is as bad as it seems

    但薪水就跟表面看起來一樣的糟

  • Bad as it seems

    一樣糟糕

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    你到底是吃錯什麼藥?

  • Whoa

    哇喔

  • What the [bleep] are you doing here?

    幹嘛要來這裡啊?

  • Oh

    喔~

  • Seriously, dude? - Like, what the [bleep]?

    兄弟,認真的嗎? -什麼啊,搞什麼鬼?

  • - Damn it.

    -他媽的

  • Being Employee of the Month for seven years

    連續蟬連7年的「每月最佳員工」

  • has been my only accomplishment.

    一直是我唯一的成就

  • - I'm pretty sure Lori gave it to you for one month

    -我很確定羅莉只讓你當過1個月的最佳員工

  • and then forgot about it for seven years.

    之後的7年她都忘了,好嗎?

  • - That's not the point.

    -那不是重點

  • My life has become all about this stupid suit.

    我的人生都被這套爛玩偶裝給毀了

  • You know what?

    妳猜怎麼樣

  • I vow to never be Pork E. again until I know who Ian is.

    在我找到自我以前,我發誓我再也不會扮成小箭豬了

  • I'm a newborn babe.

    我是新出生的嬰兒

  • [shimmering tones]

    (閃爍不定的語氣)

  • - Maybe the first thing about the new Ian

    -也許新伊恩該做的第1件事情就是

  • is that he wears clothes.

    先把衣服穿上去

  • - Man! The new Ian sucks already!

    -媽的!才剛開始,新伊恩就爛透了!

  • - What is this?

    -這裡到底是在搞什麼鬼?

  • - Charity rummage sale. Pete is running the whole thing.

    -慈善拍賣會啊,皮特一個人就包辦了所有事情

  • - You approved this without my knowledge.

    -妳怎麼沒有經過我的同意就允許了?

  • This isn't a rummage sale. It's a power play.

    這根本就不是什麼慈善拍賣,這比較像妳個人的高壓攻勢吧 (譯註: power play原指在球賽中的集中攻勢或在政治上的高壓攻勢,此採後者的解釋較符合原意)

  • - Did you skip your breakfast this morning?

    -你今天早上是不是忘了吃早餐啊?

  • - No, I just read "The 48 Laws of Power."

    -我有吃,我只是在看「權力世界的叢林法則-48條顛覆傳統的成功祕訣」而已 (譯註: The 48 Laws of Power於1998年在美國出版,為曾在全美銷售多達120萬本的暢銷書,現已翻譯成24種不同的語言)

  • It's the number-one-selling book in business school and prisons.

    這在商業學校和監獄裡可是銷售量冠軍的書呢

  • - And we both know you haven't been to either.

    -我知道你其實兩個地方都沒去過

  • - You just pulled a real 44,

    -妳剛剛一定是使用了第44條法則

  • "disarm your opponent with a mirror effect,"

    「運用鏡像效應來減緩對手的殺傷力」 (譯註: mirror effect是指因為他人對自己的態度,猶如一面鏡子能照出自己的形象,而由此能形成自我概念的概念)

  • but I'm onto you, Lori Wakefield,

    妳等著瞧吧,韋克菲爾德·羅莉,總有一天我會凌駕在妳之上的

  • and this isn't over.

    我們就走著瞧吧

  • [dramatic music]

    (誇張戲劇性音樂)

  • - God, I wish you'd stop reading.

    -天啊,我真希望你別再讀下去了

  • - What?

    -哇~~

  • [sexy music]

    (激情音樂)

  • - [sniffs]

    - (吸氣)

  • Ugh! [coughs]

    噁心!(咳嗽)

  • - Oh, my God.

    -喔我的老天

  • - It's over, Mads. There's nothing left to do

    -一切都完蛋了,麥姿,我現在除了借酒澆愁

  • but drink away my feelings.

    就沒有其他事可以做了

  • I mean, I have talent, you know?

    妳知道嗎,其實我是很有才華的

  • Am I just gonna be a big fish in a tiny pond?

    難道我這條大魚一輩子就只能待在小池塘裡嗎?

  • I mean, it's not even a pond, it's a ball pit.

    而且這裡根本沒有池塘,只有球池而已

  • I'm just a big fish in a tiny ball pit, ugh!

    我只是一條困在球池裡的大魚,嗄!

  • - Ian, you're having a quarter-life crisis,

    -伊恩,我覺得你現在正在面臨青年危機 (譯註: quarter-life crisis(青年危機),是指年輕人在成長中常遇到的心理困惑時期,一般出現在剛大學畢業到社會實踐的20至24歲)

  • and trust me, it only gets worse from here.

    相信我,你再這樣下去只會越來越糟,不會變好

  • Listen, what you need is clarity.

    聽我說,你現在最需要做的事情就是先「釐清」人生方向

  • Write down your goals and then you'll feel better

    先把你的目標寫下來,等你逐一完成之後

  • after you accomplish them.

    你就會感覺好多了

  • - My goals? [scoffs]

    -我的目標? (噗哧笑出)

  • Dude, that's easy. One, go to space.

    拜託,這用講的很簡單好嗎?第1,我要去外太空

  • Two, challenge Channing Tatum to a dance-off.

    第2,和查寧·坦圖尬舞 (譯註: Channing Tatum為美國演員、製片人,相當會跳脫衣舞,曾拍過龍虎少年隊、最後一封情書、舞出真我等知名電影,也曾獲選為全球最性感男士)

  • Three, get a time machine, go back in time, and relive

    第3,找到一臺時光機,然後回到過去,重溫我和

  • me beating Channing Tatum in said dance-off.

    查寧·坦圖尬舞並且打敗他的時光

  • - Those are really good.

    -這些都還滿不賴的啊

  • - Obviously.

    -那當然

  • - Why don't we think of something

    -我們何不想點你今天就能

  • you could accomplish today?

    完成的事情呢?

  • - All right. That's--that's a good point.

    -好吧...這...這是個好主意

  • Thanks, Mads.

    謝啦,麥姿

  • - Don't thank me.

    -別謝我

  • Thank my first, second, and fourth therapists.

    你應該感謝我第1, 2, 4位治療師

  • - [clears throat] My goals.

    - (清嗓) 我的目標...

  • [playful music]

    (俏皮音樂)

  • Number one, drink.

    第1,先來喝點東西

  • Two...

    第2...

  • don't puke.

    不要嘔吐

  • Three...

    第3...

  • get some.

    來點...

  • It could happen.

    也許喝點酒有助我想出來...

  • It's not gonna happen.

    好吧...也可能想不出來

  • [burps]

    (打嗝聲)

  • - [straining]

    - (拉東西聲音)

  • - Whoa!

    -哇嗚!

  • That artist totally captured that sub sandwich.

    這位畫家完全地捕捉到三明治的美了啊

  • - Shh. I'm hiding this

    -噓,我要把它藏起來

  • so Lori won't know that I found it.

    這樣羅莉才不會知道我發現這個

  • She'd be totally embarrassed.

    她應該會覺得超級尷尬的吧

  • It was probably painted by a former lover.

    這應該是她以前的愛人幫她畫的

  • - Of course it was.

    -那不是廢話嗎

  • Look at the intimacy of the brushstrokes.

    妳看這筆觸之間透露出來的親密

  • This would make a fine addition to my collection.

    它可就要成為我的收藏品了呢

  • - No, this is private.

    -休想,這是私人物品

  • - Look, this is a rare piece.

    -聽我說,這可是難得一見的傑作耶

  • It's the Sandwich Artist's art.

    這可是三明治畫作呢 (譯註: Sandwich Artist還有另一個意思是指作潛艇堡的人)

  • [quirky music]

    (狡詐音樂)

  • - Ow.

    -痛

  • - Yes. I've been looking for this.

    -太好了,我一直在找的就是這個啊

  • - For a nude portrait of Lori holding a sandwich?

    -嗄?為了這幅握著三明治的裸體羅莉?

  • - No, for blackmail.

    -答錯了,是要作為威脅

  • [playful music]

    (俏皮音樂)

  • - Happy birthday, Tyler.

    -祝你生日快樂,泰勒

  • Time to think of a wish. Okay, everyone?

    來想想要許什麼願望吧,準備好了嗎,大家?

  • [singing] Happy--

    (唱歌)祝你...

  • - Don't waste your breath, Tyler!

    -別浪費你的那一口氣,泰勒!

  • [rock music]

    (搖滾音樂)

  • You could blow out candles all day, and you know what?

    你可以一整天都吹蠟燭,但你知道嗎?

  • It still won't make your wishes come true.

    它根本就不會幫助你的願望成真

  • In the end, it all comes down to what you've done.

    到頭來,還不是要看你到底努力了多少

  • What have you done with your life, Tyler?

    泰勒,你想想你有為你自己的人生做過什麼嗎?

  • Nothing!

    完全沒有!

  • - Cut it out, Ian.

    -停下來,別再說了,伊恩

  • Stop vomiting your self-loathing all over everyone.

    可以不要把你厭惡自己的情緒發洩在別人身上嗎?

  • It's disgusting.

    真是有夠噁心的

  • - It's not self-loathing. It's appletini!

    -那才不是厭惡自我,那是蘋果馬提尼雞尾酒 (譯註: Appletini由伏特加和蘋果汁(或蘋果白蘭地)調配而成,酒液青綠澄澈,口感微酸,很接近蘋果的味道)

  • - You want to make a change in your life?

    -你真的有想要為你的人生帶來改變嗎?

  • Do something. Take a risk for once!

    那就去做點什麼啊,去嘗試冒險,一次也好!

  • - Yeah, take a risk!

    -就是嘛,去冒險啦

  • - Shut it, Tyler!

    -閉嘴,泰勒

  • - You guys, I am not gonna let this fall into the hands

    -你們這些臭男生,我絕對不會把畫交給一個到現在還跟

  • of a man who lives with his mom

    媽咪住在一起的媽寶,還有一個一天到晚

  • and a man whose best friend is a porcelain cat.

    只會跟他的陶瓷貓咪玩在一起的男人

  • - Whoa, okay, whoa. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

    -哇嗚,夠了,哇嗚 -哇嗚,哇嗚,哇嗚

  • You keep Sausage out of this.

    這件事妳最好不要亂傳出去 (譯註: 根據Urban Dictionary的解釋,Sausage原本是指香腸、臘腸之意,但有些人會將其當成菸來吸,形成一種奇怪的癖好,故此處衍伸其原意,指的是這種見不得人的怪癖,最好不要隨便洩漏出去)

  • - Do you guys think that you can help with the--

    -大伙,你們可以幫我就是......

  • Oh! Oh!

    喔!喔!

  • - Pete, I'll give you $20 for this.

    -皮特,我用20塊美金來跟你買這個

  • - 25, and I'll give you a cruise in my convertible.

    -我出25美元,然後我會開我的敞篷車載你去兜風

  • - 30, and I'll flash you once a month.

    -30美元,外加每個月露一次我的裸體給你看 (譯註: flash亦有暴露之意思,這裡帶有性暗示之意味)

  • - 40, and I'll flash you twice a month,

    -我出40美元,然後我每個月幫你刮2次鬍子

  • and that's post-shave.

    讓你的臉看起來亮晶晶,清爽無比

  • - $1 billion!

    -我出10億美金

  • - You don't have a billion dollars.

    -你才沒有10億美金勒

  • - Don't I?

    -妳那麼肯定我沒有嗎?

  • Ahh.

  • Who should I make this check out to?

    我該把支票開給誰呢?

  • Oh, the owner? Oh, that's right, me.

    喔,開給老闆?喔,沒錯,就是本人在下

  • Here you go, Pete. I'll be collecting that later.

    拿去吧,皮特,我晚點再來想辦法籌錢

  • - One, two--

    -1...2...

  • - Ian, no!

    -伊恩,不要住手!

  • Just because you're a total loser

    你不能因為你是個完全徹底

  • does not mean you need to kill yourself.

    的魯蛇,就在那邊要鬧自殺啦

  • - Oh, please, if I wanted to kill myself,

    -喔拜託,如果我真的要自殺

  • I would do it in a way cooler way.

    我會採用更酷的手法好嗎?

  • Like, with TNT and a shipping container.

    像是裝上黃色炸藥然後綁在貨櫃船上面 (譯註: TNT俗稱三硝基甲苯,由於呈黃色晶體狀,所以被俗稱為黃色炸藥)

  • Maybe during the Superbowl halftime show.

    又或者是在超級盃的時候...

  • That'd be pretty sweet.

    那應該感覺會滿不錯的

  • - Ew.

    -呃...

  • So what were you doing?

    那你現在到底是在幹嘛啦?

  • - You told me to take a risk.

    -妳跟我說要我去嘗試冒險

  • That's what I'm doing.

    我現在就是在做這件事啊

  • I'm gonna cut my hair off.

    我正要把我的頭髮都剃掉

  • That's--that's pretty bold. I love my hair.

    這需要很大的勇氣,拜託,因為...我愛我的頭髮

  • - Are you okay?

    -你還好嗎?

  • - No. I've only accomplished one thing on my list today--

    -當然不好,我今天只完成我必做清單上面的一件事情

  • drink.

    喝酒

  • - You know that appletini mix

    -你應該知道蘋果提尼雞尾酒

  • doesn't have any alcohol in it, right?

    是沒有摻雜任何酒精的吧?

  • - Oh, great.

    -好,這下可好了

  • I'm not even good at a booze-fueled meltdown.

    我現在就連酗酒也不在行了

  • - I'm sure that you have other items on your list.

    -我很確定你清單上面肯定還有其他事項

  • - See for yourself.

    -妳自己看吧

  • - "Get some"?

    -「來點...」?

  • - Okay.

    -好啦

  • We'll go into Lori's office.

    就是呢...我們潛進羅莉的辦公室

  • You take your clothes off, I'll take off my clothes.

    妳脫掉妳的衣服,我也脫掉我的衣服

  • I'm sure if we imagine different people,

    我很確定只要我們把對方想像成不同的人

  • we can make this work. - Ugh.

    這就絕對行得通 -吼

  • I'm done trying to help you figure out who you are,

    我真的覺得我沒必要再幫助你去釐清你自己是誰了

  • because you've already made that crystal clear.

    因為事實已經攤在眼前了 (譯註: crystal clear意思是透明如水晶似的,另一意涵就是指非常清楚,因為前面伊恩說要脫衣服,麥姿說你不用再尋找自我,因為事實已經很清楚,你本身就是個混蛋)

  • You want to be a real man?

    你真的想成為一個真正的男人嗎?

  • Do something for someone else for a change.

    試著為他人嘗試做一些改變吧

  • [quirky music]

    (古怪音樂)

  • [quirky music]

    (古怪音樂)

  • - Ahem. Lori,

    -呃恩,羅莉

  • one day you're gonna want to run this company.

    也許將來有那麼一天妳會想經營這家公司

  • - I'm not gonna want that. - You might.

    -我一點也不想 -我是說「可能」

  • - I won't. - If you do.

    -我不會 -我是說「如果」

  • - Nope. - If--I said if you do,

    -作夢 -如果,我說如果!!

  • then don't, because I've got...

    反正妳也不能,因為我已經拿到了...

  • [whooshing]

    (呼呼聲)

  • [sexy music]

    (激情音樂)

  • This. [chuckles]

    瞧這個吧 (笑)

  • - Are you blackmailing me? - No.

    -你這是想威脅我嗎? -當然不是

  • I'm pre-blackmailing you. It's way smarter.

    我這是在先發制人,因為這樣比較聰明

  • - I see. Well, before you go

    -我懂了,不過在你把那幅畫

  • showing that to everyone,

    秀給大家看之前

  • you might be interested in who the artist is.

    你應該會想知道這位畫家是誰,對吧?

  • - Dad? - Oh, your dad

    -我老爸? -沒錯,你老爸

  • is an artiste in many mediums,

    可是位藝術家,他會許多種表現藝術的方式

  • be it canvas, sandwich, or mattress.

    好比說油畫啦,三明治啦,或是..床墊

  • - Oh, my God.

    -喔,我的老天啊

  • Wait, does that mean you're my mom?

    等等,難道這就意味著你是我老媽嗎?

  • - Rule number one, stop being stupid.

    -叢林生存法則1,別再耍笨了

  • - Ah, so I see Pork E.'s back.

    -啊,我猜小箭豬是回來囉?

  • I guess you found out who you are.

    我想你現在應該知道自己是誰了吼?

  • - Yeah, I'm a jerk.

    -對啊,我是一個混蛋

  • A really smart girl helped me realize that.

    有個很聰明的女孩讓我明白這一點

  • Look, I'm sorry, Mads. You were right.

    聽著,我真的很抱歉,麥姿,妳是對的

  • And I would totally sleep with you...

    我一定會跟妳一起睡的...

  • If I was really drunk and super desperate.

    我是說,當然前提是在我喝醉又徹底絕望的時候

  • - That's actually the nicest thing

    -這真的是從你口中

  • I've ever heard you say, so.

    講過最棒的一件事情了

  • - Um, got you this at the rummage sale.

    -恩,這是我在慈善拍賣會上買的,想說拿來送妳

  • - Oh, my God! My label maker?

    -喔,我的天啊!這不是我的標籤打印機嗎?

  • Mmm. I've been looking for this everywhere.

    啾,太好了,我之前到處找都找不到

  • - Wait, that was already yours? I spent 50 bucks on that.

    -等一下,所以這原本就是妳的東西了喔?我還花了50元買下它

  • - Aw. Give me that list.

    -噢...給我看一下那份清單

  • - Okay, but I didn't accomplish anything, so don't judge. (Get something for someone else.)

    -好啦,可是我還沒全部完成,所以妳看完了不要抨擊我喔 (贈送某樣禮物給他人)

  • - There's hope for you yet, Ian.

    -伊恩,你還是有希望的呀

  • These are the first steps to becoming a better person.

    想要成為更好的人,這可還只是剛開始唷

  • - Wait, there's more steps?

    -蛤,只是剛開始而已喔?

  • [grumbles]

    (發牢騷)