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Alfred & Shadow - A Short Story About Emotions
亞輝與影子 - 有關情緒的小故事
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What are emotions and how do they work?
情緒是什麼?它們是如何運作的呢?
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Emotions are often feared and avoided, because they are so painful.
人們常常害怕甚至迴避情緒,因為它們往往帶來痛苦。
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So, why focus on emotions?
既然如此,又為什麼要討論情緒呢?
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Because emotions give you important information.
因為情緒能傳達一些重要的訊息。
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And tell you whether things are going your way.
告訴你事情是否如你所願。
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Emotions help you to survive.
情緒有助於人類存活。
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By providing an efficient, automatic way of responding rapidly to important situations.
它能在重要時刻不斷地提供有效、自動的反應。
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Emotions help you to relate to other people and the expectations and demands of life.
情緒也能在人際相處上幫到你,處理對生活的期盼與要求。
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Emotions tell you what you need. When you know what you need, you can take action to meet those needs.
情緒還能告訴你需要什麼,當你知道自己需要什麼的時候,你就會開始採取作為以滿足這些需求。
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Emotions also communicate what you feel.
情緒亦能表達你的感受。
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You learn your emotional reactions through experience.
你可以透過過去的經驗,來理解自己的情緒感受。
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All your negative experiences can turn into a big, black and scary feeling inside
所有的負面經歷會在內心,變成一股巨大、黑暗又可怕的感覺。
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You learned many of your emotional reactions long ago.
早在過去,你已體認到自己有哪些情緒反應。
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(Ouch)
(好痛喔)
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Your black shadow will therefore sometimes resemble a person who hurt you in the past.
內心的陰影這時候就會很像過去某個傷害過你的人一樣。
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But your emotional experience and reactions can always be changed or altered.
但你的情緒經歷以及反應其實是可以被改變、扭轉的。
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First, you need to know something about what your emotions are.
首先,你得先知道你內心的真實感受。
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You have different basic emotions, some of which arouse you.
人類身上會有幾種不同最基本的情緒,好比讓人興奮的情緒。
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And some that calm you down.
讓人平靜的情緒。
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These are: Shame... Fear...
這其中包括羞恥、害怕...
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Sadness…
悲傷...
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Anger…
生氣...
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Disgust…
噁心...
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Happiness…
覺得快樂...
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And surprise or interest
驚訝以及有興趣的感覺。
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You have more unpleasant emotion than pleasant ones.
如果不愉快的情緒多過愉快的情緒。
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That means you often suffer quite a lot, but that's because the unpleasant emotions help you survive.
就表示你時常活在痛苦之中,但也正是因為這些負面情緒才能幫助你存活下去。
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Feelings also tend to be more unpleasant if you fight them. If you allow them to be there,
和這些不愉快情緒對抗時,難免會感到難受,要是擺在那裡不管它。
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they become less unpleasant. You can experience and express many different feelings.
或許它們就不會讓人覺得如此難受,你可能曾經歷表現出各種不同的感受。
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Like feeling hopeless, irritated, anxious, excited, lonely,
像是絕望、煩躁、焦慮、興奮、孤單。
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embarrassed, suspicious, content and so on.
尷尬、遲疑、滿足等等其他感受。
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These feelings all arise from your basic emotions. For instance, feeling suspicious springs from fear.
這些感受都源自你的基本情緒,舉例來說,猜忌的感受源自恐懼。
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And feeling lonely springs from sadness.
孤單的感受源自悲傷。
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And then it gets complicated.
就是因為這樣,情緒才變得複雜。
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Emotions do not always provide you and your surroundings with good information.
人類的情緒不會總是對自己或週遭環境,透漏出正確的訊息。
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Sometimes you fake emotions to get what you want.
有時候人們會偽造自己的情緒,以取得自己想要的。
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At other times you cover up your "real" emotions with other emotions.
有的時候,我們還會用其他情緒來掩蓋自己的真實感受。
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If you act like this.. (angry)
有時候看起來表現出生氣...
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..when you really feel like this (sad)
但你其實內心是覺得難過的。
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And your need is compassion and comfort, you will instead drive people away.
你真正需要的是同情與安慰,但你的外在表現常會趕走想關心你的人。
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If you or someone around you is supportive, patient and curious enough to try to understand you.
若你身旁的人很支持你、有足夠耐心試著好好理解你。
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You might realize that you are sad, and then get what you need to heal your painful emotion.
你可能就會理解到自己其實是難過的,進而得到所需要的關心以撫平痛苦的情緒。
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At other times again, your "real" emotions are messed up, and make a lot of trouble for you.
也有的時候,你會搞不清楚自己的真實感受是什麼進而帶給你許多麻煩。
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If you were scared a lot when you were a child.
好比當你還小的時候,經歷過許多恐懼的感受。
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You might grow up having a core feeling of being afraid.
長大以後可能也會對萬物充滿恐懼。
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You might over-protect yourself, so that no one can hurt you ever again.
你可能會因而過度保護自己,以免有人對你造成傷害。
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Everyone who was hurt badly as a child has a deep need to feel safe, and a desire for someone to love them and connect with them.
每個在童年受過傷害的人,都需要並且渴望獲得安全感以及他人的愛護與關懷。
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And heavy protection doesn't give you this (love/attention).
不過過度的自我保護,卻會讓你難以獲得愛護與關懷。
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You can tell or show someone you trust, that you are afraid.
其實你可以向值得信賴的人,說出或表達害怕的感受。
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You can welcome the feeling of being afraid and listen to it, instead of ignoring it and covering it up.
你可以試著接受這種恐懼感,仔細聆聽之而不是忽略它,甚至裝作沒這回事。
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And the fear will then become more manageable.
如此一來,內心的恐懼也會變得較容易掌控。
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You can also change fear by means of self-compassion and assertive anger.
你可以透過自我關心、有主見的生氣來戰勝恐懼這樣的感受。
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You can stand up for yourself, without driving people away.
你可以為自己挺身而出,不需要拒他人於千里之外。
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You can handle criticism, even if it hurts.
即使在面對他人批評時,雖然不好受,卻也能妥當處理。
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You can take the chance, and let people in, even if you are afraid of getting hurt again.
就算你怕會再受傷害,但還是應該嘗試讓他人進入你的內心世界。
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You feel and function better when you are aware of and deal with your "real" emotions, even if they are painful.
就算是痛苦的感受,只要願意敞開心胸、傾聽自我,就能體認到自己的真實感受,內心也才會愉悅並且充滿力量。
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Your real emotions help you to get what you really need, both from yourself and others.
你的真實情緒能幫助你從自己與他人手中,得到你所需要的。
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You feel and function better when your "real" emotions are fresh and new, instead of stuck old feelings.
當你感受到全新的真實情緒時,你也會覺得生命不斷在繼續向前而非活在過去的陰霾。
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You can trust your emotions if doing so gives you what you need.
相信自己的情緒感受,因他們能為你帶來所需。
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Stuck and misguiding emotions can change if you:
過去的陰霾與不佳的情緒可以改變,只要你:
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Learn to attend to your emotions.
學會照顧自己的情緒。
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Are curious and patient with your own emotions.
對於自己的情緒保持好奇心和耐心。
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Talk about and show your real emotions.
談論並展現自己內心的真實感受。
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Learn to accept having different emotions.
學會接受不同的情緒感受。
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And change emotions with emotions.
利用不同的情緒來改變當下的感受。
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And all of this is easier to do with the empathy and support of another person.
若能再加上他人的同理心與支持,一切也會變得容易許多。