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What often distinguishes fulfilled from unfulfilled lives is an ingredient that's not part of the educational curriculum, and that can sound vague, silly, and Californian in the bad sense.
我們常常用一個不在教育課程範圍內,那個聽起來模糊、愚蠢、粗魯的標準,來區別充實與不充實的人生。
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Confidence.
那就是——信心。
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It's humbling to realize just how many great achievements haven't been the result of superior talent or technical know-how, merely that strange buoyancy of the soul that we call confidence.
為什麼這麼多很不錯的技能沒辦法變成優秀的成果結晶,僅僅是因為一種奇怪的、存在於我們心中的樂觀心態——我們稱之「自信」。
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Why is confidence so easy to lack?
為什麼我們那麼容易失去自信?
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Partly, it's a hangover from the past.
這可能是過去歷史所留下來的。
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For thousands of years, for most of us, there simply were no opportunities for hope: We were serfs and slaves,
過去幾千年,因為我們大部分的人身為農奴和苦力,都沒有辦法擁有「希望」,
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and the central psychological survival skill was to keep our heads down and our expectations below.
我們心裡認為,能夠讓我們活下去的生存法則就是埋頭苦幹、降低我們的期待。
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Each of us still carries a little of the legacy from that past, an attitude of inner serfdom that threatens our spirit deep into a democratic, technological, modern age.
這樣過去的觀念多少遺留在我們每個人心中,這樣內化的奴性威脅了我們民主、科學、現代的精神。
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Hope can feel dangerous.
我們覺得擁有「希望」是危險的。
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There might, in addition, have been parents who sent out subtle messages, "People like us don't." "Who do you take yourself for?"
也有可能是父母告訴我們這樣的訊息:「像我們這樣的人不配擁有希望」「你以為你是誰?」
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We should feel compassionate about where those defensive parental messages came from; they were a protection, a survival strategy, and an escape from humiliation.
我們應該同理這些具有防禦性的根本想法從何而來:他們是一種保護機制、避免遭到羞辱的生存策略。
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School didn't necessarily help either; it wanted us to be good boys and girls, and taught us to trust in established authority.
學校也不必然能幫到忙,它總是希望我們當個乖小孩,教導我們要相信權威。
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But we may, naively, have gone on too long, putting too much faith in existing institutions, and now suffer from doing whatever is asked of us a little too obediently.
但我們已經天真地相信現存的制度已久,我們太順從地從事我們被要求的事情。
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Part of becoming an adult seems to be to embrace the painful realization that grown-ups don't actually have all the answers,
要變成成人,其中一部分就是要去擁抱大人不一定無所不知的痛苦事實,
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and therefore, that we have every right, indeed a duty, to break certain rules and think things through independently.
因此,我們都有權利和義務去打破規則和獨立思考。
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We need to learn a calculated form of disrespect, which can be a surprising thing after twenty years or so of enforced obedience.
我們要去了解一個被精心設計過的對人性的不尊重,經過 20 多年後的強迫服從,這可能是一件令人訝異的事。
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We need to learn a constructive suspicion of authority: A path between total compliance on the one hand, and sullen skepticism on the other.
我們要學習對權威有建設性的懷疑,也就是在完全服從跟懷疑之間取得平衡。
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In addition, confidence seems to involve a courage to accept imperfection.
另外,「自信」意味著有勇氣去接受不完美。
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It's tempting never to get going when everything has to be perfect, but that's a recipe for remaining under the bed,
人們禁不住不在準備工作尚未達到完美前恣意行動,但這只會讓你始終無法採取行動,
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And yet, how often so-called "great lives" have been riddled with errors, that nevertheless, didn't sink them.
很多所謂的「美好幸福的人生」常常充斥著錯誤與不完美,但這些並不會將他們擊垮。
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Confidence begins with a capacity to forgive oneself the horrors of the first go.
自信始於原諒自己的恐懼。
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Death is a necessary thought too.
而死亡是人生最不完美的東西,你也應該將它列入考慮。
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We should use it not to further sadden us, but to scare us fruitfully, into taking some action.
我們不應該以此悲喜,而是要讓它督促我們採取行動。
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Our fear of messing up should give way to the only real danger there is: That of never trying.
若畏懼之心存在,那應該用於畏懼自己沒有嘗試,而非害怕搞砸。