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  • A Self-Compassion Exercise.

    練習自我疼惜。

  • To survive in this high-pressured, crazy world, most of us have to become highly adept at self-criticism.

    為了在這個極度高壓、瘋狂的世界裡生存,我們大多習慣了自我苛責。

  • We learn how to tell ourselves off for our failures, and for not working hard or smart enough.

    我們經常因為失敗,或是不夠努力、不夠聰明而責罵自己。

  • But so good are we at this, that we are sometimes in danger of falling prey to an excessive version of self-criticism, what we might call self-flagellation, a rather dangerous stage which just ushers into pressure and under-performance.

    但正因我們太擅長這樣做,反而成了自己的敵人,被過度的自我苛責所傷害,這種自我鞭笞的危險心態會帶給我們壓力,造成我們表現不佳。

  • We might simply lose the will to get out of bed.

    我們可能會因此失去起床的動力。

  • For those moments, we need a corrective.

    這種時刻,我們就需要些改變。

  • We need to carve out time for an emotional state of which many of us are profoundly suspicious: self-compassion.

    儘管我們對此抱持著高度的懷疑,但我們應該騰出時間給自己進入這種情緒狀態:自我疼惜。

  • We're suspicious because that sounds horribly close to self-pity.

    我們懷疑自我疼惜的能力,因為它聽起來就像自我憐惜。

  • But because depression and self-hatred are serious enemies of a good life, we need to appreciate the role of self-care in a good, ambitious and fruitful life.

    但若要有個幸福美滿的人生,我們必須面對鬱鬱寡歡和自怨自艾這兩大敵人,因此,我們應該珍視自我療癒在人生道路上所扮演的重要角色。

  • To this end, we can perform what we've called, "a self-compassion exercise," a structured meditation, lasting 15 minutes or so.

    為此,我們可以練習先前所提到的「自我疼惜」,這種有架構的冥想練習,大約會持續 15 分鐘左右。

  • Lying in bed, or perhaps a bath, turn over a sequence of thoughts that interrupt and correct the flow of your worse self-accusations.

    你可以躺在床上或浴缸裡,冥想一連串不會讓你過度苛責自己的正面想法。

  • For a time, adopt an entirely kindly perspective on your setbacks.

    在冥想的片刻,用完全友善、寬容的態度來面對自己的缺失。

  • The self-compassion exercise goes like this:

    自我疼惜六步驟:

  • Step One

    第一步

  • We're so in love with success we fail to notice the scale of the challenges we routinely set ourselves.

    我們太在乎成功,導致我們無法察覺給自己設下的高標準。

  • There is nothing remotely normal about what we've tried to achieve.

    我們想要跨過的門檻,其實已經超乎常人所及。

  • We failed, but given the mountain we were trying to climb, the conclusion doesn't have to be that we're simply fools.

    我們雖然遭遇失敗,但看看我們想要達成的遠大目標之後,我們其實不必認為自己純然是個蠢蛋。

  • Step Two

    第二步

  • We have tricky family histories. We all do.

    家家有本難念的經。

  • There were things which happened to us at the hands of others which can help to explain some of our current troubles.

    有些事情,並不是我們自己所能掌握,這能解釋為什麼我們現在會遇到這樣的困難。

  • We're not entirely sane or well, but none of us are.

    我們並不是完美的,但又有誰是呢?

  • We weren't well set up to carry out certain tasks.

    做某些事情的時候,我們就是無法如願以償。

  • It isn't wholly our fault in the here and now.

    但這並不代表在那個當下,我們是全然的失敗者。

  • Step Three

    第三步

  • From the media, you'd think everyone was rich and famous and successful, but in reality, undramatic, quiet failure is, by a huge margin, the statistical norm.

    媒體報導常讓我們以為每個人都是人生勝利組,但在現實生活中,失敗更屢見不鮮、是個常態。

  • We shouldn't tear ourselves apart for not managing to beat what were, in truth, awesome odds.

    我們沒有必要為了成為那少數中的少數而費心傷神。

  • Step Four

    第四步

  • Tough, self-critical people don't allow themselves the indulgence of believing in luck.

    自我要求嚴格的人字典裡沒有運氣兩個字。

  • They take responsibility for everything.

    他們一肩扛起所有責任。

  • They think winners make their own luck.

    認為運氣是贏家的自我造化。

  • But they don't, for the most part.

    但大多時候,事實不是如此。

  • Luck is a genuine feature of existence.

    運氣是其中一個我們存在的真正意義。

  • We're robbing ourselves of fair consolation by believing that we're entirely in control, and therefore entirely to blame when we crash.

    如果我們認為自己可以掌握一切,而且失敗時完全怪罪自己,我們便失去了慰藉的能力。

  • Step Five

    第五步

  • You're not only your achievements.

    你的成就並不足以代表你的一切。

  • Status and material success are one bit of you, but there are others as well.

    地位與財富只是一部份,而不是全部的你。

  • Those who loved you in childhood knew this, and in their best moments, helped you to feel it.

    小時候愛你的人明瞭這件事情,並且盡能力所及,讓你知道你有多棒。

  • Rehearse the internalized voices of all those who've been kind to you.

    在腦中回想那些曾經善待你的人。

  • Bathe in the memory of a love, independent of achievement.

    徜徉在愛的回憶裡,這時,成就顯得微不足道。

  • Step Six

    第六步

  • "It seems it will never end."

    「這一切似乎沒有結束的一天。」

  • That's not the truth.

    其實並不是這樣的。

  • It's just how a crisis feels.

    只是因為當下你遇到了困難。

  • You need to reduce expectations to zero for a time.

    有時候你得拋開所有期望。

  • Take each new hour as it comes.

    順其自然地度過每個時刻。

  • And, without being banal, what you need most of all is some rest.

    在忘卻世俗煩惱後,讓心靈好好休息。

A Self-Compassion Exercise.

練習自我疼惜。

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你需要學會的人生課題:自我疼惜,善待自己 (Self Compassion)

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    Vanessa Hsieh 發佈於 2017 年 04 月 11 日
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