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  • - You may now kiss the bride.

    現在可以親吻新娘了

  • - Just uh, just gonna do one of those.

    我們還是碰個拳頭就好

  • Hi, I'm Zach and I'm single as fuck.

    嗨,我是Zack,現在單身

  • - Zach, don't fall in love with me.

    Zack,不要愛上我

  • Hi, I'm Ashly, I'm gonna marry Zach for a week.

    嗨,我是Ashly,我將嫁給Zack一星期

  • Which is probably a huge mistake.

    這也許是個天大的錯誤

  • - It's gonna be great!

    一切都會很好的!

  • - Thank you.

    謝謝你的安慰

  • - You're welcome.

    你太客氣了

  • - Honestly, a lot of the time, I love being single.

    老實說,大部分的時間我很享受單身

  • I really do.

    我真的喜歡單身生活

  • - I do whatever I want, whenever I want.

    我的生活隨心所欲

  • I'm an independent woman.

    我是個獨立自主的女人

  • - I've never had to plan my life around another person.

    我人生計畫中從來不需要考慮別人

  • I'm not good at letting people into my life.

    我不善長與別人分享我的生活

  • - Committing to another person for the rest of your life

    將你接下來的人生交給另一個人

  • is a crazy, crazy...

    是一件瘋狂的事

  • - You said that, and my heartbeat just went up.

    你這麼說,我的心跳開始加快了

  • (gasps)

    (倒抽一口氣)

  • - I want to be in relationships, I do.

    我想要談場戀愛

  • - At some point, I want to share my life

    就某方面來說,我想與人分享我的生活

  • with someone, and the logistics of that

    這個說法聽起來

  • seem a little frightening.

    可能有些嚇人

  • - This is like, immersion therapy.

    這就像是浸浴療法

  • - Are you gonna carry me over the threshold?

    你要幫我把東西搬進門嗎?

  • - [Zach] No, you carry me.

    不,你幫我

  • - Why do you have so much shit?

    你怎麼大包小包

  • - Because we're gonna be together for a week.

    因為我麼們要在一起一個禮拜

  • - Four texts a day, five meals over the course

    一天四封簡訊,一個禮拜要一起吃五餐

  • of a week, two nice things that are

    在這個禮拜內

  • completely unplanned.

    還要完成兩件沒有事先計畫好的事

  • - Each?

    每一項都要完成?

  • - Each.

    是的

  • - Let's just do one.

    我們做一個就好了

  • - Where do I put my stuff?

    我的東西要放哪?

  • - Oh my god, I didn't even think about this.

    我的天!我還沒想這個問題

  • I guess I'll have to move my kimono.

    我想我需要把我的和服移開

  • So I think, at some point, I'm just going to

    就某方面來說

  • want him to shut up.

    我只希望他閉嘴

  • - Really, I'm making your bed?

    我在整理妳的床?

  • - It's our bed.

    是我們的床!

  • And I know he is definitely gonna want me

    我知道

  • to shut up.

    他百分之百也希望我閉嘴

  • The only CD that I have in my car is Taylor Swift

    我車上唯一的CD是泰勒絲

  • and then I Spotify... - She's almost a year old now.

    這張專輯已經一年了

  • - It doesn't matter, it's the best CD.

    又沒差,它是最棒的專輯

  • - Like most married couples, it's gonna be

    就像大部分已婚的伴侶們

  • completely sexless.

    我們對彼此完全沒有吸引力

  • (laughs)

    (笑)

  • Would you say that's accurate?

    你覺得這樣是對的嗎?

  • - No.

    應該不是

  • - How do you sleep?

    你怎麼睡?

  • - I sleep in fetal position,

    我睡覺的姿勢像個小嬰兒

  • like a little baby. - So do I.

    我也是

  • - You have to be comfortable around the other person.

    你必須在其他人身邊也能感到自在

  • - Broccoli makes you fart.

    我吃花椰菜會放屁

  • I assume it's gonna teach me a lot about myself.

    我覺得這讓我更認識自己

  • Best part about being married so far?

    結婚到目前為止最棒的部分?

  • Ashley has got citrus amimos shampoo.

    Ashley 的洗髮乳是柑橘口味的

  • I smell like a damn tree.

    我現在聞起來該死的像一棵樹

  • Definitely gonna teach me a lot about Ashley.

    無可否置地,我更了解Ashley了

  • - Ooh, Wonder Woman pajamas.

    哦,神力女超人的睡衣

  • We should probably get some alcohol.

    我們應該買點酒

  • Maybe we'll want popsicles.

    或許我們可以買些冰棒

  • Look how cool those tank is.

    那些容器好酷

  • - [Zach] Ashly, Ashly, eye on the prize.

    Ashly,請注意它們的價格

  • It's been similar so far to friendship,

    我們的婚姻目前為止比較像友情

  • but it's just longer.

    只是更長久

  • - Yeah.

    沒錯

  • This is a long, long friendship.

    這是一段很長遠的友情

  • - And with retainer.

    他還戴著維持器(牙齒矯正過後要戴的)

  • (laughs)

    (笑)

  • - Don't fall in love with me.

    不要愛上我

  • - Stop saying that.

    別再說這句話了

  • - Zach.

    Zach

  • For me, the hardest thing to conceptualize

    對我來說最難接受的是

  • is like, your freedom is just gone.

    我的自由好像被剝奪了

  • - Ashly told me she wants a divorce.

    Ashly告訴我她想離婚

  • - I do.

    我想

  • Zach was stressing me out so much.

    Zach快讓我抓狂了

  • Stop filming me.

    別拍我

  • - [Zach] We need to talk this out.

    我們需要談談

  • - We're not Kardashians!

    我們又不是卡戴珊家族!

  • - Even in the second day of marriage,

    我們在一起的第二天

  • we started resenting how much time

    就開始厭惡彼此待在一塊太久

  • we were spending together, and that's not good.

    這不是一件好事

  • Okay, I'll have you know, that Adam asked me

    我得告訴你,Adam約我吃晚餐

  • to get dinner, and I said no, I'm gonna order dinner

    但我拒絕了他

  • for my wife.

    因為我為了老婆訂了晚餐

  • - There have gotta be moments where you

    你時常會有一種恐懼感

  • have panic about like, "Oh my god,

    就好像

  • "I just signed up for the rest of my life."

    “天啊,我剩下的人生好像已經跟誰簽約似的”

  • - Have we made up from our fight yet?

    我們和好了嗎?

  • - Yep, cuz I got a funny Snapchat of you.

    嗯,因為我在Snapchat上看到一張你好笑的照片

  • - My hair looks stupid.

    我的頭髮看起來真蠢

  • - Your hair was silly.

    你的頭髮真像傻瓜

  • You definitely need time where you're just

    人有時候

  • not even engaging with the other person

    需要平靜

  • and it's not rude.

    而沒有爭吵的生活

  • - I hate planning dates.

    我不喜歡安排約會

  • Oh, it's such a nightmare.

    這對我來說是場噩夢

  • It just stresses me out.

    令我焦躁不安

  • - Hi.

  • - Hey Pumpkin, we're gonna be late for

    我們快要遲到了

  • our double dinner date with the Fulmers.

    與富爾默夫婦的約會

  • - Another thing is hanging out with your couples friends.

    之前提到的其他活動,就是與你們是情侶的朋友來場約會

  • So you're gonna go on a date night.

    你們今晚要赴約

  • - With you and Ariel? - Gonna go on a double date

    -跟你和Ariel? -來場四人約會

  • with me and Ariel.

    跟我和Ariel

  • It's great!

    會很棒的!

  • - We brought wine.

    我們買了酒

  • - White wine.

    白酒

  • - We're late, but Zach found a great parking spot.

    我們遲到了,但Zach找到一個很棒的停車位

  • - Yeah.

    沒錯

  • - Hello!

    哈囉

  • - The Kornrezzes are here!

    Kornrezze夫婦到了

  • - We don't have any pictures of us making out

    我們的房子裡

  • in our house.

    沒有任何一張我們接吻的照片

  • - [Zach] We don't have any pictures of us in general.

    我們的照片都很不正常

  • - [Ashly] This is so adult.

    那太不老少咸宜了

  • Date night with the Fulmers made me realize

    與富莫爾夫婦的約會讓我了解到

  • why people get married.

    人們為什麼要結婚

  • - We are pounding meat for our wives,

    我們正在為妻子處理肉類食物

  • pounding meat.

    處理肉類類

  • - For our wives!

    為了我們的妻子

  • - Date night with the Fulmers was the shit.

    跟 Fulmers 一起約會令人出乎意料

  • They made a really delicious dinner

    他們準備了很美味的晚餐

  • which I'm not accustomed to anyone cooking for me.

    雖然我不習慣讓別人為我下廚

  • Like, what a delight. - [Ashly] Yeah.

    -真是太棒了 -對啊

  • - A friend cooked for me.

    朋友為我下廚耶

  • How delightful is that?

    怎麼能如此美好?

  • - There really is a moment in every adult's life

    這真的是每個成年人都需要的生活經驗

  • where you're like, just tired of being single.

    當你已經倦於單身

  • Would you get bored of this if this was your whole life?

    如果你剩下的人生得如此,你會覺得無聊嗎?

  • - I don't know, I don't think so.

    我不知道但我不這麼認為

  • - That was wonderful, shall we go home now?

    這真是太美好了,我們該回家嗎?

  • - Tomorrow has some prasu...

    明天有一個......

  • tomorrow has some surprises in store

    明天再店裡有一個驚喜

  • for you, Ashly.

    要給你

  • - [Ashly] Are you drunk?

    你喝醉了嗎?

  • - Uh, drunk on love.

    哦,為愛而醉

  • Drunk on marriage.

    為婚姻而醉

  • I realized I've never planned a romantic date

    我發現我從來沒有為了任何一個人

  • for anyone.

    計畫一場浪漫的約會

  • I hate planning dates.

    我討厭安排約會

  • Today is like a day of niceties

    今天是美好

  • and surprises.

    並且充滿驚喜的一天

  • - Zach had so many surprises for me.

    Zach準備了很多驚喜給我

  • It was fucking crazy.

    這真是太瘋狂了

  • - Having a special day that's like,

    有一個特別的約會

  • "This is our date night", it encourages you

    會鼓勵你跳脫平常思考的框架

  • to think outside the box.

    因為你會心想,這是我們的約會耶!

  • - It feels weird cuz it's like, not my birthday or anything.

    這感覺很奇怪,因為今天不是我的生日或其他日子

  • It's just my marriage.

    這只是婚姻的一部分

  • - Ashly loves theme parks and it's been

    Ashly喜歡主題公園

  • hot as balls out, so later today, we're going

    但今天太熱了

  • to a water park.

    所以我們待會要去水上公園

  • I got one more thing before the water park.

    在去公園之前我要給你一樣東西

  • - Oh! - A wedding photo of us.

    -天啊! -我們的結婚照

  • - This is so cheesy.

    這好虛假喔

  • I do love word art.

    我愛藝術字

  • Right in front of Taylor.

    放在泰勒絲的前面

  • - [Zach] Now we're a family.

    現在我們是一家人了

  • - I'm gonna keep that forever, that's hilarious.

    我會永遠留著,這太好笑了

  • (shouting and cheering)

    (尖叫聲與歡呼聲)

  • - Oh, here we go!

    出發!

  • Oh, my butt is dragging!

    我的屁股拖到地了

  • Oh no, I'm backwards!

    喔不,我倒過來了!

  • - Woo!

    呼!

  • Thank you, Ashly.

    謝啦

  • - You're welcome.

    不客氣

  • - [Zach] Married couples probably don't go to water parks

    結婚的情侶們除了有小孩外

  • unless they have kids, but that's the kind of

    應該不會來水上樂園

  • married couple we would be.

    但我們不一樣

  • - That was so fun.

    水上樂園太好玩了

  • - That was a good test, cuz it was a test of

    這是個很好的機會

  • can Ashly and I just spend a ton of time together

    測驗我和Ashly是否能夠花很多時間在一起

  • and not go crazy - [Ashly] Kill each other.

    而不會覺得厭煩 -甚至想殺了對方

  • - [Zach] wanting to kill each other?

    有這麼嚴重嗎?

  • And we succeeded.

    然而我們成功了

  • We both said, as soon as we got home,

    回到家時

  • "I had a fun day.

    我們都覺得今天是有趣的一天

  • "I don't wanna be with you any more."

    但彼此卻都不想再看到對方

  • So we're just gonna sit next to each other

    所以我們現在肩並肩

  • and try and be alone in the same room.

    卻孤獨地待在一塊

  • ("Senorita" by Justin Timberlake)

    (Justin Timberlake的《Senorita》)

  • - Final night of marriage.

    這段婚姻的最後一夜

  • - Last night of marriage, we're going to my

    最後一夜

  • favorite pho place.

    我們要去我最愛的河粉店

  • - Fo?

    粉河?

  • - Pho.

    河粉

  • - [Zach] Monday was our final day.

    星期一是我們的最後一天

  • It was kinda bittersweet.

    有點喜憂參半

  • - And the weird thing was, last night it felt so normal.

    很奇怪,昨晚就像是正常的一天

  • I forgot for a second that I wasn't actually married.

    我甚至一度以為我是真的結婚了

  • - I got mostly fruit, so it's healthy.

    我吃了大部分的水果,我真健康

  • - You didn't get even a little bit of fruit.

    你根本沒吃什麼水果

  • It's nice to have someone who's always

    這感覺真的很好

  • on your team.

    有一個人一直與你站在同一陣線

  • And marriage really is teamwork.

    婚姻真的是場團隊合作

  • Wow.

  • I think this is all married people do.

    我覺得結婚的人都這麼做

  • - Just watch TV in bed and drink wine.

    喝著酒,躺在床上看電視

  • - Watch TV and drink white wine.

    看電視然後喝白酒

  • - Now that it's over, I'm like, kinda sad.

    現在一切都結束了,我有一點難過

  • You ready?

    你準備好了嗎?

  • - Divorce on three.

    數到三就離婚

  • - [Both] One, two, three, divorce!

    一二三,離婚!

  • - Oh no.

    哦不

  • Marriage is fuckin' hard, y'all.

    婚姻真的是個難題

  • - You really can't put yourself first.

    你不能將自己放在第一位

  • - And that is like (blows) what?

    什麼!無法接受

  • It's scary, to open yourself to another human being

    對另一個人打開心房,是一件需要勇氣的事

  • but it can also be really rewarding.

    但也很值得

  • And I see that now.

    我現在瞭解了

  • I wanna get married someday.

    我以後會想結婚

  • Do you?

    你呢?

  • - Yeah, totally.

    是的,這無可否置

  • - But not to each other.

    但不是跟你

  • - No.

    我也不要跟你

  • - Definitely not to each other.

    絕對不是跟你

  • - Maybe a little, but not really.

    也許有一點點想,但不完全是

  • - Don't fall in love with me, Ashly.

    不要愛上我,Ashly

  • - That's my line.

    那是我的台詞

  • We called each other Pumpkin throughout the week.

    這個禮拜我們稱呼彼此Pumpkin

  • - I heard someone else call Ashly Pumpkin,

    我聽到其他人也叫Ashly“Pumpkin”

  • and I got furious.

    我很生氣

  • I was like, "Back the fuck off.

    我想叫他滾開

  • "That's my Pumpkin."

    這是我的Pumpkin

  • - Sexual intimacy is a big part of any relationship.

    性也是婚姻中很重要的一部分

  • - Different video.

    離題了

  • - [Ned] Okay.

    好吧

- You may now kiss the bride.

現在可以親吻新娘了

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