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  • Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

    嘿,我是瑪莉·芙萊奧(美國跨多行業專家),你正在收看的是Marie TV,這裡能讓你學會創造你所熱愛的事業

  • and life you love. And today is Q&A Tuesday, one of the best days of the week. Today’s

    與生活,今天禮拜2是問與答時間,是一週中最棒的一天。今天的

  • question comes from Lindsey and Lindsey writes:

    問題來自琳西,上面寫道:

  • Hey Marie. First, you rock.” No, you rock. “Second, I’m seeking some spiritual

    「嘿,瑪莉,首先我得說,妳太讚了!」沒有,妳才是最棒的。「接著,我想尋求一些精神上

  • advice. Lately I’ve been struggling with resentment towards a particular person. I

    的建議。最近我糾結於對某人憎恨的情緒之中,

  • know I need to let go of it, but my gut is telling me not to trust this person because

    我知道自己必須釋懷這種情緒,但內心卻告訴自己不要再相信這個人,因為

  • theyve burned me before. I don't want this to eat me up inside because I know itll

    他們曾讓我受過傷害。我不想被這樣的想法吞噬,因為我知道

  • just hold me back from becoming everything I’m meant to be. How do I let it go and

    那只會讓我變得跟從前一樣。當我處在一個充滿不信任的環境下,該如何釋懷這樣的情緒,

  • move on when I’m so full of distrust? Do you have any suggestions about how to forgive

    讓我還能有繼續往前的動力呢? 有沒有任何關於寬恕,

  • without forgetting? Thanks so much, Lindsey.”

    而非忘懷的建議呢? 感激不盡,琳西上。」

  • Lindsey, this is a fantastic question. Forgiveness is an important topic and it’s a vital spiritual

    琳西,這是個很棒的問題,原諒他人是項重要的課題,同時也是心靈與情緒層面上

  • and emotional practice. You know, as Nelson Mandela once said, resentment is like drinking

    不可或缺的習題。妳知道嗎? 正如納爾遜·曼德拉曾言,憎恨如同飲用毒藥,(譯註: Nelson Mandela為南非總統,於2013年逝世)

  • poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. Now, I personally get my inspiration from

    卻希望用它來殲滅敵人。現在,我從那些以各種令人難以置信的方式,

  • others who demonstrate forgiveness in incredible ways. So I think about that guy Louis Zamperini,

    作為寬恕典範的人士當中,獲得一些靈感。所以,我想到一個人,叫「路易斯·詹帕瑞尼」 (譯註: Louis Zamperini是一位在2戰中倖存的美國戰俘,亦是奧運長跑運動員)

  • the Olympic runner that turned war hero in Unbroken. He forgave the prison guard who

    在「永不屈服」電影中,一位奧運跑將變成戰爭英雄的故事,他原諒那位當初 (譯註:「永不屈服 Unbroken」為2014年美國電影,電影重現路易斯·詹帕瑞尼的傳奇一生)

  • brutally tortured him for years. And, of course, I also think about the families of those who

    殘暴折磨他多年的監獄長。當然,我還有想到那些在查理斯頓恐怖槍殺事件後 (譯註: 瑪莉提到的事件,是於2015年6月在美國南卡羅萊州查理斯頓Charleston, South Carolina發生的重大槍擊案)

  • were killed in the horrific shooting in Charleston who also forgave the person who murdered their

    失去親人的家屬們,也原諒了那些曾經殺害他們摯愛親人

  • loved ones. That’s like forgiveness hall of fame.

    的兇手,就如同以寬恕為名的傑出人士一樣

  • Now, thankfully, Lindsey, I don't think your situation is quite as extreme, but still you

    幸好,琳西,我覺得妳現在的情況至少不是如此極端,但妳還是

  • feel hurt and you feel betrayed. And youre right when you say that not forgiving someone,

    覺得受傷甚至覺得被背叛。妳說得沒錯,無論那些人做了什麼,

  • no matter what they did, will hold you back from being all youre meant to be.

    如果妳不寬恕他人,只會和之前的妳一樣,無法改變什麼。

  • Here’s the big distinction I want you to get. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that you

    有一個重要的觀念,我希望妳能釐清,那就是,原諒他人並不代表妳馬上

  • instantly or ever trust someone again. Forgiveness and trust are separate issues. When you forgive

    就要再度或永遠信任他人。寬恕和信任兩者是不同的問題,當妳寬恕某人的時候,

  • someone it doesn't mean that you condone their behavior and it doesn't mean that youre

    並不代表妳寬恕他們的作為,也不意味著妳得

  • gonna tolerate any further abuse or lack of respect. And frankly, even if you fully forgive

    忍受更多的傷害或失去尊重。坦白說,就算妳完全寬恕

  • someone you do not have to keep that person in your life.

    某個人,妳也不需要讓此人再度出現在自己的世界中。

  • Now, Lindsey, youve already said that your gut is telling you that you can’t trust

    而琳西,妳說過自己的內心告訴妳沒辦法信任

  • this person, and I think it’s wise to pay attention to that. Now, if you do choose to

    此人,我認為這時候正視此問題乃為智舉。如果現在,妳選擇繼續讓此人

  • keep this person in your life, theyre gonna need to rebuild that trust with you and that’s

    活在妳的世界,他們勢必得重建起妳對他們的信任,

  • likely gonna take some time.

    而這將會花上好些時間。

  • Now, more importantly though, realize that forgiveness is not something that you do for

    不過現在更重要的是,妳必須了解到,寬恕並不是為了那個曾經

  • the person who wronged you. It’s something you do for you. Want a little etymology? The

    傷害過妳的人,而是為了妳自己。想要來點對該字源的解釋嗎?

  • Latin root means to give completely, without reservation. So think of it this way. When

    在拉丁字根中,其意指毫無保留、完全的給予。所以用這樣的方式來思考的話,當妳

  • you forgive, youre giving a gift to yourself. A gift of freedom, mental, emotional, and

    寬恕的時候,就代表妳給自己一份禮物,一份心理、情緒及精神層面上,

  • spiritual freedom. And here’s 2 steps to help you do it.

    皆重獲自由的禮物,以下有兩道步驟能協助妳做到:

  • Step number one in this process is forgive yourself, especially if youre having

    第1步,原諒你自己,特別是妳開始出現

  • any thoughts like, “Oh my goodness, how could I have been so stupid? How could I have been

    這樣的想法,「喔~ 我的老天,我怎麼會這麼愚蠢? 我怎麼會這麼

  • so naive?” You've got to realize that this situation, like every situation, is an opportunity

    天真?」 妳得體認到這種情況就如同所有情況,這是一次讓妳的靈魂

  • to strengthen your soul. You know, every time that I’ve been burned, after I get over

    變得更堅強的機會。妳知道嗎? 每當我受到傷害,在我發怒完、

  • that initial anger and hurt I always ask myself, “What can I learn from this? And how can

    受傷過後,我常會捫心自問: 「我從中可以學到什麼教訓? 而我又能從中

  • I grow from this?” And when I ask those wise questions, what comes back are usually

    獲得什麼成長?」 當我問自己這些明智的問題時,多半都能得到

  • some really wise answers. Step number two is to forgive the person.

    一些非常明智的答案。第2步,寬恕對方

  • Now, I know that this is easier said than done and there are many, many different approaches

    雖然,我知道這說的比做的還容易,而且有太多數不清的方式

  • to forgiveness. There’s a spiritual approach, there’s a faith based, there’s a psychological

    來寬恕他人。好比說,有精神層面的方法,有以信念為基礎的,還有心理層面

  • approach, and what I’ve seen to be the most important step in all of those approaches

    的寬恕方式,而在我看來,在這麼多種寬恕方式做選擇以前,最重要的莫過於

  • is willingness. You being willing. That slight little shift in energy from, “Nuh uh. Can’t

    妳有沒有這個意願。一旦妳有這種意願,這樣的能量就能造成一點小轉變,好比說,從「哼,

  • do it,” to, “You know what? I don't know how, but I’m willing to forgive,” can

    做不到!」變成「你猜怎麼樣? 我不知道怎麼辦,但我願意選擇原諒」,得以

  • radically change everything. And a simple little prayer or a mantra that you might wanna

    完全改變所有事情。有一個簡單又小小的祈禱文,妳可能

  • practice saying to yourself is this: “While I don't know how, I am willing to forgive.

    會想練習對自己說: 「當我不知該如何是好時,我願意選擇寬恕,

  • Please God, the universe, Smurf fairies, whatever language suits you, show me the way.” Because

    拜託上帝、宇宙、甚至藍色小精靈,不管妳說什麼哪國語言,指引我繼續向前吧。」 因為

  • that simple willingness is often all it takes to melt the walls around your heart and begin

    那股單純的意願總是常常融化妳心中那堵牆,並且真正

  • to truly forgive.

    開始寬恕。

  • Now, before we wrap up there’s just one more thing that I wanna say about forgiveness

    現在,在節目結束之前,我還有一些關於寬恕的話想說,

  • and, yes, it’s a Tweetable.

    當然,它來自推特轉發消息。

  • Forgiveness isn’t weakness. It’s the ultimate sign of courage and strength.”

    「寬恕並不是懦弱,它是勇氣與力量的最終表現。」

  • That was my A to your Q, Lindsey, and I really do hope it helps. Now I would love to hear

    那正是我對妳問題的解答,琳西,我希望這真的能幫助到妳。現在我想聽聽看

  • from you. Have you ever wrestled with forgiving someone or rebuilding trust after it’s been

    你們的想法,你是否曾經在彼此關係破裂後,在原諒對方或重建起信任之間

  • broken? In terms of forgiving and forgetting, what’s worked for you and what hasn’t?

    搏鬥呢? 就寬恕與釋懷兩者而言,哪一個對你是有幫助的,而哪個不是。

  • Now, as always, the richest discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com,

    如往常一樣,每一集結束後,MarieForieo.com網站都會出現熱烈的討論,

  • and we have a lot of fun in the comments. So please go over there and let me know your

    而其中也不乏一些有趣的評論,所以現在就請你到網站上

  • responses now.

    留下你的想法吧。

  • Did you like this video? If so, subscribe to our channel and it would be great if you

    你喜歡這部影片嗎? 如果喜歡,請你訂閱我們的頻道,若能將這部影片

  • shared this with your friends. And if you want even more great resources to create a

    分享給你的朋友那是再好不過了。如果你想要更多超讚的資源去創造你

  • business and life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only share

    熱愛的事業及生活,或者想要我只會在email裡提到的

  • in email, come on over to MarieForleo.com and sign up for email updates.

    個人洞見的話,那就來MarieForleo.com網站,並且註冊以利收到電子報的通知。

  • Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special

    繼續闖蕩你的事業,並繼續朝著你的夢想邁進,因為這世界正需要你那

  • gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.

    獨一無二的天賦。非常感謝你的收看,我們下回再於Marie TV上見囉!

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

嘿,我是瑪莉·芙萊奧(美國跨多行業專家),你正在收看的是Marie TV,這裡能讓你學會創造你所熱愛的事業

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【MarieTV】當背叛無法忘懷時,該如何寬恕對方? (How To Forgive When You Can't Forget)

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    Adam Huang 發佈於 2016 年 01 月 31 日
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