Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

自動翻譯
  • You know, I have a confession to make,

    你知道,我有一個懺悔。

  • I lost control but in the most wonderful way.

    我失去了控制,但以最美妙的方式。

  • Before the sacred hours of seeing patients,

    在看病的神聖時間之前。

  • before writing,

    在寫之前,。

  • I just put my arms out and danced.

    我只是把我的手臂伸出來,然後跳舞。

  • My body just moved to Dylan's "Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands,"

    我的身體就在迪倫'的"低窪地的憂鬱眼神女士&quot中移動。

  • spontaneous joyful movements.

    自發的快樂運動。

  • No arguing, no resisting, no holding back.

    不爭論,不反抗,不退縮。

  • I just let go.

    我只是放手。

  • This is the ecstasy of surrender.

    這就是投降的狂喜。

  • Today, your life is going to get better learning about surrender.

    今天,你的生活將變得更好,學習投降。

  • As a physician and as a woman, this is so important to me,

    作為一名醫生,作為一名女性,這對我來說是如此重要。

  • it's what I want the most in my life.

    這是我一生中最想要的東西。

  • To be able to flow with things.

    要能隨遇而安。

  • And not fight, not resist, not hold back

    不打,不抗,不退縮。

  • and not always over think things.

    而不是總是想太多。

  • Is such a joy to be able to flow.

    是這樣一種快樂,能夠流。

  • Now what is surrender?

    現在什麼是自首?

  • In Sanskrit, surrender is "samprada,"

    在梵文中,投降是"samprada,&quot。

  • the ability to give yourself wholly to something,

    全身心投入的能力。

  • to flow like water,

    要像水一樣流動。

  • to not force things.

    以不強求。

  • I'm defining it as the grace of letting go at the right moment,

    我'把它定義為在適當的時候放手的優雅。

  • of knowing how to let go when the time is right,

    懂得在適當的時候放手。

  • without torturing yourself with self-doubt

    寵辱不驚

  • or over thinking things.

    或想得太多。

  • Here how many of you over think?

    這裡有多少人想多了?

  • How many of you torture yourself with self-doubt?

    有多少人用自我懷疑來折磨自己?

  • That's very common,

    那'是很常見的。

  • but surrender allows you not to do that.

    但投降讓你不能這樣做。

  • Imagine a life where you're not doing that,

    想象一下,你不這樣做的生活'。

  • and you're able to flow more with everything,

    和你'能夠更流暢的與一切。

  • and have more peace in life.

    並在生活中獲得更多的安寧。

  • You know, that's the great joy of surrender.

    你知道,這就是投降的最大樂趣。

  • Now, how surrendered are you? Let me ask you a few questions.

    現在,你有多捨得?讓我問你幾個問題。

  • Do you recognize that you cannot control everything?

    你是否認識到,你不能控制一切?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • How many of you? I hope you do.

    你們有多少人?我希望你有。

  • If you've tried your best with something,

    如果你'已經盡力的東西。

  • and you've given a project, let's say, all of your effort,

    而你'已經給一個項目,讓'說,你所有的努力。

  • are you able to back off and not torture yourself with self-doubt

    能否退而求其次,不自責地折磨自己?

  • and just give the project some breathing room?

    而只是給這個項目一些喘息的空間?

  • How many of you are able to do that?

    你們有多少人能夠做到?

  • Alright, wonderful.

    好吧,太好了。

  • Can you admit that you're not right?

    你能承認你不對嗎?

  • You have to be right all the time,

    你必須一直是對的。

  • or can you apologize, can you compromise,

    還是可以道歉,可以妥協。

  • can you let go of the need to be right?

    你能放下對的需求嗎?

  • Good, I see one hand.

    好,我看到一隻手。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Can you be spontaneous, and not have to plan

    你可以隨性而為,不必計劃。

  • every single thing down to the last detail.

    每一件事到最後的細節。

  • Can you enjoy life, can you stop long enough

    你能不能享受生活,你能不能夠停下來

  • to let that enjoyment in and absorb it.

    要讓這種享受,吸收它。

  • Now isn't that what it's all about?

    現在是不是'的一切?

  • Isn't letting that enjoyment in?

    難道不是讓這種享受嗎?

  • And that's the point of surrender,

    而這就是投降的意義。

  • as life goes by so quickly.

    因為生活過得太快了。

  • Now, you want to take advantage of every single moment,

    現在,你要利用好每一個瞬間。

  • and to do that, you have to be able to let go.

    而要做到這一點,你必須能夠放手。

  • Now, what stands in the way of surrender?

    現在,是什麼阻礙了投降?

  • In my life, I know this well, it's when I want something too much.

    在我的生活中,我深知這一點,這是我太想得到的東西的時候。

  • When I'm over invested in it.

    當我'投資過度的時候。

  • When I really want something a lot,

    當我真的很想得到一些東西的時候。

  • that can clog the circuits.

    會堵塞電路的。

  • And so when you want something too much,

    所以當你想要的東西太多。

  • that a sign you need to just back off a little

    那是一個信號,你需要只是後退一點。

  • so you don't get overbearing with it.

    所以你不要對它有過多的要求。

  • Or another thing is anxiety and fear.

    或者另一件事就是焦慮和恐懼。

  • When you clench,

    當你緊握。

  • when you get into fear mode or an anxious mode,

    當你進入恐懼模式或焦慮模式時。

  • that stops you from surrendering.

    阻止你投降。

  • What fascinates me,

    讓我著迷的是。

  • is how hard it is for most of us to surrender.

    是我們大多數人很難降服的。

  • Did you realize how hard it is?

    你知道這有多難嗎?

  • When you think about it,

    當你想起來的時候。

  • you need to surrender to delight in an orgasm.

    你需要屈服於高潮的喜悅。

  • Don't you?

    難道不是嗎?

  • You don't surrender, not much is going to happen.

    你不投降,就不會有什麼事情發生。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Or a good night's sleep.

    或者睡個好覺'。

  • Every night, you need to surrender when you go to sleep,

    每天晚上睡覺的時候,你都要投降。

  • otherwise to be tossing and turning all night.

    否則要整夜輾轉反側。

  • You need to surrender with a good belly laugh,

    你要好好地笑一笑,就投降了。

  • or a good cry.

    或者好好哭一場。

  • I love the healing power of tears.

    我喜歡眼淚的治癒力。

  • When you hold back tears, that's not good for your system.

    當你忍住眼淚的時候,那對你的身體不好。

  • And so surrendering to tears, just letting it flow,

    於是捨棄了眼淚,只是任其流淌。

  • or any emotions, such as grief when you experience loss,

    或任何情緒,比如當你經歷失去時的悲傷。

  • that's is when you really are flowing with life.

    那是當你真正與生命流動的時候。

  • And so what I want to say,

    所以我想說的是。

  • is that we need to bring surrender into other aspects of our life

    是我們需要把投降帶入我們生活的其他方面。

  • where the downside isn't so obvious,

    其中缺點不是很明顯'。

  • such as hijacking pleasure.

    如劫持快樂。

  • Because if something immediately hijack pleasure for you,

    因為如果有什麼東西立刻劫持了你的快樂。

  • you would think twice about it. Hopefully.

    你會三思而行。但願如此

  • Alright.

    好吧,我知道了

  • How many types of surrender are there?

    自首有幾種類型?

  • There're three main types.

    有'三種主要類型。

  • And the most common type, is the trial by fire kind of surrender.

    而最常見的一種,就是火燒眉毛的那種自首。

  • Where everything is going down and you're forced to surrender

    在那裡,一切都在下降,你'被迫投降。

  • because everything is so terrible.

    因為一切都那麼可怕。

  • A bad relationship,

    糟糕的關係。

  • your health is going down,

    你的健康正在下降。

  • and so you need to surrender.

    所以你需要投降。

  • And crisis is an amazing opportunity.

    而危機是一個驚人的機會。

  • It's how most people use of change.

    這'是大多數人使用變化的方式。

  • That's what causes people to change,

    這就是導致人們改變的原因。

  • is crisis, have you ever noticed that in your life?

    是危機,你在生活中有沒有注意到這一點?

  • When things really amp up, that's when you change.

    當事情真正放大,那就是你改變的時候。

  • And crisis is opportunity, it is opportunity,

    而危機就是機會,就是機遇。

  • but it's not the only opportunity.

    但它'不是唯一的機會。

  • Now another example of surrender, the second type,

    現在再舉一個自首的例子,第二種。

  • is learning to surrender anxiety and fear.

    是學會降服焦慮和恐懼。

  • Now what if you're in a situation

    現在,如果你'的情況下,什麼

  • that's totally outside of your control like flying?

    這完全不在你的控制範圍之內,就像飛行一樣?

  • I had a patient who had a terrible fear of flying.

    我有個病人很怕飛。

  • And she would get on the plane and have an anxiety attack.

    而她上了飛機就會焦慮不安。

  • So the way I worked with her on surrender,

    所以我和她合作的方式就是投降。

  • was to really have her focus on positive thoughts.

    是讓她真正專注於正念。

  • The great news is that we have control of our minds.

    最大的消息是,我們可以控制自己的思想。

  • Did you know that?

    你知道嗎?

  • We do. We have control of our thoughts.

    我們有。 我們可以控制我們的思想。

  • Just because you think something or feel something

    僅僅因為你想的東西或感覺的東西

  • doesn't mean you need to go in that direction.

    並不意味著你需要朝這個方向發展。

  • And so I worked with her

    所以我和她一起工作

  • on focusing on the positive images in her life.

    在關注她生活中的正面形象。

  • The family, the children,

    家庭,孩子。

  • beautiful images of nature which is so common,

    美麗的自然形象,這是如此的普通。

  • a sunset, a beautiful flower.

    一片夕陽,一朵美麗的花。

  • And so she was focusing on all of this positivity

    所以她專注於所有這些積極的東西

  • rather than going towards a negative,

    而不是走向消極。

  • and this helped her to gain more serenity in her life.

    而這也幫助她在生活中獲得了更多的寧靜。

  • And so that's important for you to have some positive images,

    所以,這'對你來說,有一些積極的形象很重要。

  • and some things that really move you.

    和一些真正讓你感動的事情。

  • For me, the image that moves me and centers me

    對我來說,讓我感動、讓我心動的形象是什麼?

  • is looking at the night sky in a body of water.

    正在水體中看夜空。

  • It's so beautiful to me seeing the stars in the water,

    看到水裡的星星,我覺得好美。

  • that that's very calming.

    那是很平靜的。

  • You see, so you have all of these ready for yourself.

    你看,所以你自己都準備好了這些。

  • Now the third type of surrender, and this is so essential,

    現在第三種降伏,這個是非常必要的。

  • is accepting what is, instead of trying to fit things or people

    是接受現實,而不是試圖去適應事物或人。

  • into some preconceived notion of how you think things should be.

    到一些先入為主的觀念,你認為事情應該如何。

  • Alright?

    好嗎?

  • This is not always easy, because you have your visions of things,

    這並不總是容易的,因為你對事物有你的憧憬。

  • you see, and then you have reality.

    你看,然後你有現實。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So, you have your choice again with that.

    所以,你又有了選擇的餘地。

  • I want to emphasize, this is a choice,

    我想強調的是,這是一個選擇。

  • and surrender means flowing with what is.

    而降服意味著隨遇而安。

  • I learned this early on as a psychiatrist.

    我很早就學會了這一點,作為一名精神科醫生。

  • Or I had a patient, Eve, who was 92 years old,

    或者我有一個病人,叫夏娃,她已經92歲了。

  • and her daughter was dying.

    而她的女兒卻奄奄一息。

  • When her daughter died, she called me

    她女兒死的時候,她給我打電話

  • to be by her side in the hospital [unclear].

    要在醫院裡陪著她[不清楚]。

  • And as I was going down the hall,

    當我走到大廳的時候

  • I heard her wailing and screaming.

    我聽到她的哀嚎和尖叫。

  • The nurses came up to me and they were very concerned with it,

    護士們走過來,他們很關心這個問題。

  • that she would collapse, she was a little old lady, very frail,

    她會倒下,她是個小老太太,很虛弱。

  • and she was really making a lot of noise.

    而且她真的很吵。

  • And in my psychiatric training at USC and UCLA,

    而在我在南加州大學和加州大學洛杉磯分校的精神病學訓練中。

  • I was trained to treat patients at a kind of distance,

    我被訓練成在一種距離上治療病人。

  • and certainly to never touch them.

    當然,也永遠不要去碰它們。

  • You know, we're never trained to even put a hand

    你知道,我們從來沒有受過訓練,甚至把一個手

  • or pat them on the back,

    或者拍他們的馬屁。

  • you know, keep a safe distance,

    你知道,保持安全距離。

  • but the minute I walked into that room,

    但當我走進那個房間的那一刻,

  • this little lady jumped into my arms,

    這個小姑娘跳進了我的懷裡。

  • and wrapped her body around mine in the fetal position,

    並以胎兒的姿勢將她的身體抱住我的身體。

  • and was wailing and crying and her tears were all over me,

    並且是哭哭啼啼的,她的眼淚都在我身上。

  • and the newly minted psychiatrist in me was in total shock,

    而我這個新晉的精神病學家則完全震驚了。

  • but I knew that I had to surrender to that moment,

    但我知道,我必須向那一刻投降。

  • because it's what Eve needed, and it's what was right.

    因為這是夏娃所需要的,也是正確的。

  • And so she spent about an hour crying,

    於是她花了大約一個小時的時間哭泣。

  • and then she detached herself from me, basically,

    然後她就和我脫離了關係,基本上。

  • and we talked,

    我們聊了起來。

  • and then that was the beginning of her grieving process.

    然後這就是她悲痛過程的開始。

  • So I learned how important it is to trust the moment.

    所以我知道了相信當下是多麼重要。

  • To be there with people.

    要與人同在。

  • It might not be what you thought,

    可能不是你想的那樣。

  • but it is what it is.

    但它是什麼,它是什麼。

  • You flow with that and you trust the integrity of that.

    你隨心所欲,你相信這一點的完整性。

  • You know that's trusting life.

    你知道那是對生命的信任。

  • You know I'm so passionate about surrender,

    你知道我'對投降是如此的熱情。

  • because I learned about it from my mother,

    因為我是從母親那裡得知的。

  • in terms of how she didn't surrender.

    在她沒有'投降的方面。

  • At age 70, she was a family practitioner in Beverly Hills,

    70歲時,她是比佛利山莊的一名家庭醫生。

  • and she decided to take her national board exams.

    和她決定參加國家局考試。

  • And for those of you who know what this is,

    而對於那些知道這是什麼的人來說。

  • it's as intense as the bar exams is for lawyers.

    它'就像律師資格考試一樣緊張。

  • It's so intense, and she felt that she needed to do this

    它'是如此激烈,她覺得她需要這樣做。

  • in order to keep up with the younger doctors.

    以便跟上年輕醫生的步伐。

  • At that point,

    這時。

  • she was about the best healer I've ever met.

    她是我見過的最好的治療師。

  • She had a huge practice,

    她有一個巨大的實踐。

  • she had all these patients who loved her.

    她有所有這些病人誰愛她。

  • And in fact when I was a little girl I used to go on house calls with her,

    而事實上,當我還是個小女孩的時候,我經常和她一起去做家訪。

  • and she even took me to the hospital

    她還帶我去了醫院

  • when she made chicken soup for Mick Jagger when I was a teenager.

    當她為米克-賈格爾做雞湯的時候,我還是個少年。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So I got to meet him,

    所以我見到了他。

  • and you could imagine what a thrill that was.

    你可以想象那是一種怎樣的刺激。

  • And I used to go with her in her pink Cadillac

    我曾經和她一起開著她那輛粉紅色的凱迪拉克

  • up into the hills of Bel Air,

    到貝爾艾爾的山上。

  • and I would watch her with patients.

    我會看著她和病人在一起。

  • She would listen with a stethoscope, she had a bag,

    她會用聽診器聽,她有一個袋子。

  • you know the old time family doctor,

    你知道舊時的家庭醫生。

  • and she would listen to her patient.

    而她會聽從病人的意見。

  • She was truly so gifted.

    她真的是太有天賦了。

  • But the thing about my mother

    但我媽媽的事情

  • was that a million people could tell her how wonderful she was,

    是,一百萬人可以告訴她,她是多麼的精彩。

  • and she would only look at her negative points and her self-doubt.

    而她只會看她的負分和自我懷疑。

  • And that's not unlike a lot of people.

    而這&39;和很多人不一樣。

  • You can have so much going for,

    你可以有這麼多的去處。

  • yet a small percentage,

    卻只佔很小的比例。

  • somebody says one little thing and you're off and running.

    有人說一件小事,你'運行。

  • And so she took this exam and put herself through so much stress.

    所以她參加了這次考試,讓自己承受了這麼大的壓力。

  • And 20 years before that,

    而在此之前的20年。

  • she had been diagnosed with a pretty benign lymphoma,

    她被診斷為相當良性的淋巴瘤。

  • but while she was taking the test, the month she took studying

    但在她參加考試的時候,她花了一個月的時間來學習

  • and beating herself up and not feeling she was enough,

    並自責,覺得自己不夠好。

  • the cell type changed to a malignant leukemia.

    細胞類型改變為惡性白血病。

  • And although my mother heroically passed the test,

    雖然我母親英勇地通過了測試。

  • soon after, she died.

    不久,她就死了。

  • And as she was dying,

    而在她臨死前。

  • she said to me that she felt the stress of the test

    她對我說,她感覺到了考試的壓力。

  • was what caused the cell type to change.

    是導致細胞類型改變的原因。

  • And so, as her daughter,

    所以,作為她的女兒。

  • I was really standing there hopeless.

    我真的是站在那裡沒有希望了。

  • There was nothing I could do to intervene.

    我也沒辦法干預。

  • I was there supporting her,

    我在那裡支持她。

  • but I watched my mother do this,

    但我看著我媽媽這樣做。

  • and it was through losing the dearest person to me

    我失去了我最親愛的人。

  • that I gained a very hard lesson on surrender.

    我得到了一個非常沉重的教訓,關於投降。

  • Because I too am a workaholic,

    因為我也是一個工作狂。

  • I too have self-doubts,

    我也有自我懷疑。