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  • I grew up to study the brain

    我從小就喜歡研究大腦

  • because I have a brother who has been diagnosed with a brain disorder:

    因為我有一個弟弟被診斷出患有腦部疾病。

  • schizophrenia. And as a sister

    精神分裂症。而作為一個姐姐

  • and later, as a scientist, I wanted to understand why

    後來,作為一個科學家,我想知道為什麼會出現這種情況

  • is it that I can take my dreams, I can connect

    是它,我可以把我的夢想,我可以連接。

  • them to my reality, and I can make my dreams come true.

    他們對我的現實,我可以讓我的夢想成真。

  • What is it about my brother's brain and

    我弟弟的大腦和... ...有什麼問題?

  • his schizophrenia that he cannot connect his

    他的精神分裂症,他不能連接他的。

  • dreams to a common and shared reality, so they

    夢想到一個共同的和共享的現實,所以他們

  • instead become delusion?

    反而成為妄想?

  • So I dedicated my career to research into the

    於是,我把自己的職業生涯致力於研究到

  • severe mental illnesses. And I moved from my home state

    嚴重的精神疾病。而我從我的家鄉

  • of Indiana to Boston, where I was working in

    從印第安納州到波士頓,我在那裡工作

  • the lab of Dr. Francine Benes, in the Harvard

    哈佛大學Francine Benes博士的實驗室。

  • Department of Psychiatry. And in the lab, we were asking the question,

    精神病學系而在實驗室裡,我們在問這個問題。

  • "What are the biological differences between the brains of individuals

    "個體的大腦有什麼生物差異。

  • who would be diagnosed as normal control,

    誰會被診斷為正常控制。

  • as compared with the brains of individuals diagnosed with

    與被診斷為具有以下症狀的人的大腦相比

  • schizophrenia, schizoaffective or bipolar disorder?"

    精神分裂症、精神分裂症或躁鬱症?&quot。

  • So we were essentially mapping the microcircuitry

    所以我們基本上是在繪製微電路的地圖

  • of the brain: which cells are communicating with

    大腦的:哪些細胞正在與哪些細胞進行交流?

  • which cells, with which chemicals, and then in

    哪種細胞,用哪種化學物質,然後在。

  • what quantities of those chemicals?

    這些化學品的數量是多少?

  • So there was a lot of meaning in my life because I was performing

    所以我的人生有很多意義,因為我在表演。

  • this type of research during the day.

    這種研究在白天。

  • But then in the evenings and on the weekends,

    但到了晚上和週末。

  • I traveled as an advocate for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

    我作為NAMI(全國精神疾病聯盟)的代言人旅行。

  • But on the morning of December 10, 1996, I woke up

    但在1996年12月10日早上,我醒來的時候

  • to discover that I had a brain disorder of my own.

    發現我自己也有腦部疾病。

  • A blood vessel exploded in the left half of my brain.

    我的左半邊腦部有一條血管爆炸了。

  • And in the course of four hours,

    而在四個小時的時間裡。

  • I watched my brain completely deteriorate in its ability to

    我看著我的大腦完全退化,在它的能力,以

  • process all information. On the morning of the hemorrhage,

    處理所有資訊。在大出血的早晨。

  • I could not walk, talk, read, write or recall any of my life.

    我不能走路,不能說話,不能讀書,不能寫字,不能回憶我的任何生活。

  • I essentially became an infant in a woman's body.

    我基本上成了一個女人身體裡的嬰兒'。

  • If you've ever seen a human brain,

    如果你'見過人腦。

  • it's obvious that the two hemispheres are completely separate from one another.

    很明顯,兩個半球是完全分開的。

  • And I have brought for you a real human brain.

    我給你們帶來了一個真正的人腦。

  • So this is a real human brain.

    所以這是一個真正的人腦。

  • This is the front of the brain,

    這是大腦的前部。

  • the back of brain with the spinal cord hanging down,

    大腦後部,脊髓垂下。

  • and this is how it would be positioned inside of my head.

    這就是它在我腦袋裡的位置。

  • And when you look at the brain, it's obvious that

    而當你看到大腦時,很明顯的就是

  • the two cerebral cortices are completely separate from one another.

    兩個大腦皮層是完全分開的。

  • For those of you who understand computers,

    對於懂電腦的人來說。

  • our right hemisphere functions like a parallel processor,

    我們的右半球功能就像一個並行處理器。

  • while our left hemisphere functions like a serial processor.

    而我們的左半球功能就像一個串行處理器。

  • The two hemispheres do communicate with one another

    兩大半球之間確實有交流。

  • through the corpus collosum,

    通過大腦皮層。

  • which is made up of some 300 million axonal fibers.

    它是由大約3億根軸突纖維組成的。

  • But other than that,

    但除此之外。

  • the two hemispheres are completely separate.

    兩個半球是完全分開的。

  • Because they process information differently,

    因為他們處理資訊的方式不同。

  • each of our hemispheres think about different things,

    我們每個人的半球都在思考不同的事情。

  • they care about different things, and, dare I say,

    他們關心不同的事情,而且,我敢說,。

  • they have very different personalities.

    他們有非常不同的性格。

  • Excuse me. Thank you. It's been a joy. (Assistant: It has been.)

    對不起,我先走了謝謝你,我很高興。這是一個快樂。(助理:是的)

  • Our right hemisphere is all about this present moment.

    我們的右半球就是這個當下。

  • It's all about "right here, right now."

    它'的所有關於"就在這裡,現在.&quot。

  • Our right hemisphere, it thinks in pictures

    我們的右半球,它在圖畫中思考。

  • and it learns kinesthetically through the movement of our bodies.

    它通過我們身體的運動來學習動覺。

  • Information, in the form of energy, streams in simultaneously

    資訊,以能量的形式,同時湧入。

  • through all of our sensory systems

    通過我們所有的感官系統

  • and then it explodes into this enormous collage

    然後它爆發成這個巨大的拼貼畫。

  • of what this present moment looks like,

    的這個當下是什麼樣子。

  • what this present moment smells like and tastes like,

    此刻的氣味和味道是什麼樣子的。

  • what it feels like and what it sounds like.

    它的感覺和它的聲音。

  • I am an energy-being connected to the energy all around me

    我是一個能量的存在,與我周圍的能量相通。

  • through the consciousness of my right hemisphere.

    通過我右半球的意識。

  • We are energy-beings connected to one another

    我們是彼此相連的能量生物

  • through the consciousness of our right hemispheres as one human family.

    通過我們右半球作為一個人類大家庭的意識。

  • And right here,

    而在這裡。

  • right now, we are brothers and sisters on this planet,

    現在,我們是這個星球上的兄弟姐妹。

  • here to make the world a better place.

    這裡是為了讓世界變得更美好。

  • And in this moment we are perfect, we are whole and we are beautiful.

    而在這一刻,我們是完美的,我們是完整的,我們是美麗的。

  • My left hemisphere -- our left hemisphere -- is a very different place.

    我的左半球--我們的左半球--是一個非常不同的地方。

  • Our left hemisphere thinks linearly and methodically.

    我們的左半球思維是線性的、有條理的。

  • Our left hemisphere

    我們的左半球

  • is all about the past and it's all about the future.

    是關於過去的,也是關於未來的。

  • Our left hemisphere is designed to take that

    我們的左半球被設計成可以承受這種壓力

  • enormous collage of the present moment and start

    巨大的當下拼貼畫,開始

  • picking out details, details and more details about those details.

    挑出細節,細節和更多的細節,關於這些細節。

  • It then categorizes and

    然後將其分類並

  • organizes all that information, associates it

    組織所有的資訊,將其關聯起來

  • with everything in the past we've ever learned, and

    與過去的一切,我們'已經學會了,和

  • projects into the future all of our possibilities.

    將我們所有的可能性納入未來的項目。

  • And our left hemisphere thinks in language.

    而我們的左半球是用語言思考的。

  • It's that ongoing brain chatter that connects me and my

    就是這種持續不斷的腦筋急轉彎,把我和我的。

  • internal world to my external world.

    內部世界到我的外部世界。

  • It's that little voice that says to me, "Hey, you gotta remember

    它'是那個小聲音對我說,"嘿,你要記住。

  • to pick up bananas on your way home.

    在你回家的路上拿起香蕉。

  • I need them in the morning."

    我需要他們在早上.&quot。

  • It's that calculating intelligence that reminds me

    是那種精打細算的聰明才智讓我想起了

  • when I have to do my laundry. But perhaps most important,

    當我要洗衣服的時候。但也許最重要的是

  • it's that little voice that says to me,

    是那個對我說的小聲音。

  • "I am. I am." And as soon as my left hemisphere says to me "I am,"

    "I am. I am." 只要我的左半球對我說"I am.我是."而只要我的左半球對我說"我是,&quot。

  • I become separate.

    我變得獨立了。

  • I become a single solid individual, separate from the energy flow

    我變成了一個獨立於能量流的單一實體個體

  • around me and separate from you.

    在我身邊,與你分開。

  • And this was the portion of my brain that I lost

    這就是我失去的那部分大腦。

  • on the morning of my stroke.

    在我中風的那天早上

  • On the morning of the stroke, I woke up to a

    在中風的那天早上,我醒來的時候,看到了一個

  • pounding pain behind my left eye. And it was the kind of pain --

    我的左眼後面有一陣陣的疼痛而這是那種疼痛 -

  • caustic pain -- that you get when you

    苛求的疼痛 -- 當你得到的

  • bite into ice cream. And it just gripped me --

    咬一口冰激凌。它只是抓住了我 -

  • and then it released me. And then it just gripped me --

    然後它釋放了我。然後,它只是抓住了我 -

  • and then it released me. And it was very unusual

    然後它釋放了我。這是很不尋常的

  • for me to ever experience any kind of pain,

    讓我經歷過任何形式的痛苦。

  • so I thought, OK, I'll just start my normal routine.

    所以我想,好吧,我'就開始我的正常生活。

  • So I got up and I jumped onto my cardio glider,

    於是我站起來,跳上我的有氧滑翔機。

  • which is a full-body, full-exercise machine.

    這是一款全身性的全能運動機。

  • And I'm jamming away on this thing, and I'm realizing

    我在這上面做了很多事情,我意識到

  • that my hands look like primitive claws grasping

    我的手看起來像原始的爪子抓著

  • onto the bar. And I thought, "That's very peculiar."

    到酒吧。我想,"那'是非常奇特的.&quot。

  • And I looked down at my body and I thought, "Whoa,

    我低頭看了看自己的身體,我想,"哇。

  • I'm a weird-looking thing." And it was as though

    我是個怪模怪樣的東西。

  • my consciousness had shifted away from my normal

    我的意識已經從我的正常意識中轉移到了我的身上

  • perception of reality, where I'm the person on the

    對現實的看法,在那裡,我'人對

  • machine having the experience, to some esoteric space

    有經驗的機器,到一些深奧的空間去。

  • where I'm witnessing myself having this experience.

    在那裡,我'見證了自己有這種經歷。

  • And it was all very peculiar, and my headache was

    這一切都很奇怪,我的頭很痛

  • just getting worse. So I get off the machine,

    只是越來越差。所以我下了機器。

  • and I'm walking across my living room floor, and I

    我走過我的客廳地板,和我

  • realize that everything inside of my body has

    意識到我身體裡的一切都已經

  • slowed way down. And every step is very rigid and

    放慢了速度。而且每一步都很僵硬

  • very deliberate. There's no fluidity to my pace,

    非常慎重。有'我的步伐不流暢。

  • and there's this constriction in my area of perceptions,

    而在我的認知領域中,有'的這種限制。

  • so I'm just focused on internal systems.

    所以我'只關注內部系統。

  • And I'm standing in my bathroom getting ready to

    而我站在我的浴室裡準備好了

  • step into the shower, and I could actually hear the

    踏進淋浴間,我居然能聽到的

  • dialogue inside of my body. I heard a little voice

    我身體裡的對話。我聽到一個小聲音

  • saying, "OK. You muscles, you gotta contract.

    說,"OK。你的肌肉,你得收縮。

  • You muscles, you relax."

    你的肌肉,你放鬆。

  • And then I lost my balance, and I'm propped up against the wall.

    然後我就失去了平衡,我'被撐到了牆上。

  • And I look down at my arm and I realize

    我低頭看了看我的手臂,我意識到了。

  • that I can no longer define the boundaries of my body.

    我無法再定義我身體的界限。

  • I can't define where I begin and where I end,

    我無法定義我的起點和終點。

  • because the atoms and the molecules of my arm

    因為我手臂上的原子和分子...

  • blended with the atoms and molecules of the wall.

    與牆體的原子和分子融為一體。

  • And all I could detect was this energy -- energy.

    而我能察覺到的只有這種能量... 能量。

  • And I'm asking myself, "What is wrong with me?

    而我'在問自己,"我到底怎麼了?

  • What is going on?" And in that moment, my brain chatter --

    這是怎麼回事?"而在那一刻,我的腦海裡唸唸有詞--。

  • my left hemisphere brain chatter -- went totally silent.

    我的左半球大腦喋喋不休 -- 完全沉默了。

  • Just like someone took a remote control

    就像有人拿了一個遙控器

  • and pushed the mute button. Total silence.

    並按下了靜音鍵。全場一片寂靜。

  • And at first I was shocked to find myself

    一開始我很震驚地發現自己

  • inside of a silent mind. But then I was immediately

    內心默默的想著。但隨後我馬上

  • captivated by the magnificence of the energy around me.

    被我身邊的宏大能量所吸引。

  • And because I could no longer identify

    因為我已經無法確定

  • the boundaries of my body, I felt enormous and expansive.

    我的身體的界限,我感到巨大的和廣闊的。

  • I felt at one with all the energy that was,

    我感覺與所有的能量融為一體。

  • and it was beautiful there.

    那裡很美

  • Then all of a sudden my left hemisphere comes back

    突然間,我的左半球又回來了

  • online, and it says to me, "Hey! We got a problem!

    在線,它對我說,"嘿!我們有問題!。

  • We got a problem! We gotta get some help."

    我們有麻煩了!我們得找人幫忙。

  • And I'm going, "Ahh! I got a problem.

    而我'要去,"啊!我有一個問題。我有一個問題。

  • I got a problem." So it's like, "OK. OK. I got a problem."

    我有一個問題."所以它'就像,"OK。好吧,我有一個問題。我得到了一個問題.&quot。

  • But then I immediately drifted right back

    但我馬上就回過神來

  • out into the consciousness -- and I affectionately

    進入意識中 -- 我親切地說

  • refer to this space as La La Land.

    把這個空間稱為 "拉拉樂園"。

  • But it was beautiful there. Imagine what it would

    但那裡很美。想象一下,那會是什麼?

  • be like to be totally disconnected from your brain

    就像完全脫離了你的大腦一樣

  • chatter that connects you to the external world.

    喋喋不休,把你和外部世界聯繫起來。

  • So here I am in this space, and my job -- and any

    所以,我在這個空間裡,我的工作 -- 和任何

  • stress related to my job -- it was gone.

    與我的工作有關的壓力 -- 它已經消失了。

  • And I felt lighter in my body. And imagine:

    而且我感覺身體輕飄飄的。而想象一下。

  • all of the relationships in the external world and any

    外在世界的所有關係和任何。

  • stressors related to any of those -- they were gone.

    與任何這些有關的壓力 -- 它們都消失了。

  • And I felt this sense of peacefulness.

    而且我感覺到了這種寧靜的感覺。

  • And imagine what it would feel like to lose 37 years of emotional baggage!

    而想象一下,失去37年的感情包袱會是什麼感覺!

  • (Laughter) Oh! I felt euphoria.

    (笑聲)哦!我感到欣喜。

  • Euphoria. It was beautiful.

    欣喜。很美

  • And then, again, my left hemisphere comes online and it says,

    然後,再一次,我的左半球上線,它說。

  • "Hey! You've got to pay attention.

    "嘿!你'要注意了。

  • We've got to get help." And I'm thinking, "I got to get help.

    我們'得得到幫助."而我'在想,"我得得到幫助。

  • I gotta focus."

    我得集中精力。

  • So I get out of the shower and I mechanically

    所以我洗完澡後,我機械性地...

  • dress and I'm walking around my apartment,

    衣服和我'走在我的公寓。

  • and I'm thinking, "I gotta get to work. I gotta get to work

    而我在想,"我得去工作。我得去工作

  • Can I drive? Can I drive?"

    我可以開車嗎?我可以開車嗎&quot。

  • And in that moment my right arm went totally

    在那一刻,我的右臂完全

  • paralyzed by my side. Then I realized,

    癱瘓在我身邊。然後我意識到。

  • "Oh my gosh! I'm having a stroke! I'm having a stroke!"

    天啊!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了!我中風了我'要中風了!&quot。

  • And the next thing my brain says to me is, "Wow!

    而我的大腦對我說的下一句話就是,"哇!

  • This is so cool." (Laughter) "This is so cool!

    這真是太酷了."(笑聲)"這真是太酷了!

  • How many brain scientists have the opportunity

    有多少腦科學家有機會

  • to study their own brain from the inside out?"

    來研究自己的大腦,從內到外嗎&quot。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And then it crosses my mind: "But I'm a very busy woman!"

    然後我想到:"但我'是個很忙的女人!&quot。

  • (Laughter) "I don't have time for a stroke!"

    (笑)"我沒有時間中風!&quot。

  • So I'm like, "OK, I can't stop the stroke from happening,

    所以我'就像,"好吧,我不能阻止中風的發生。

  • so I'll do this for a week or two, and

    所以,我'會做這個一兩個星期,和

  • then I'll get back to my routine. OK.

    然後我就會回到我的日常工作中去。好吧 OK.

  • So I gotta call help. I gotta call work."

    所以我得打電話求助。我得打電話給工作。 &quot。

  • I couldn't remember the number at work,

    我不記得工作時的號碼了。

  • so I remembered, in my office I had a business card

    所以我記得,在我的辦公室裡,我有一張名片。

  • with my number on it. So I go into my business room,

    上面有我的號碼。所以我走進我的營業室。

  • I pull out a three-inch stack of business cards.

    我拿出一疊三寸的名片。

  • And I'm looking at the card on top and even though

    我在看上面的卡片,即使是

  • I could see clearly in my mind's eye what my business card looked like,

    我心裡清楚地看到我的名片是什麼樣子的'。

  • I couldn't tell if this

    我不知道這是不是

  • was my card or not because all I could see were pixels.

    是不是我的卡,因為我只能看到像素。

  • And the pixels of the words blended

    和文字的像素混合在一起

  • with the pixels of the background and the pixels of the symbols,

    與背景的像素和符號的像素。

  • and I just couldn't tell.

    而我就是看不出來。

  • And then I would wait for what I call a wave of clarity.

    然後我會等待我所謂的一波清明。

  • And in that moment, I would be able to

    而在那一刻,我將能夠。

  • reattach to normal reality and I could tell

    重新連接到正常的現實,我可以告訴。

  • that's not the card ... that's not the card ... that's not the card.

    那不是卡......那不是卡......那不是卡。

  • It took me 45 minutes to get one inch down

    我花了45分鐘才把一英寸的地方弄下來。

  • inside of that stack of cards.

    裡面的那疊牌。

  • In the meantime, for 45 minutes, the hemorrhage is

    同時,在45分鐘的時間裡,大出血。

  • getting bigger in my left hemisphere.

    在我的左半球越來越大。

  • I do not understand numbers. I do not understand the telephone,

    我不懂數字。我不懂電話。

  • but it's the only plan I have.

    但這是我唯一的計劃。

  • So I take the phone pad and I put it right here. I take the business card,

    所以我拿著電話本,把它放在這裡。我把名片。

  • I put it right here, and

    我把它放在這裡,和

  • I'm matching the shape of the squiggles on the card

    我在配合卡片上的方格形狀。

  • to the shape of the squiggles on the phone pad.

    到手機板上的方塊形狀。

  • But then I would drift back out into La La Land,

    但隨後我又會飄回 "拉拉樂園"。

  • and not remember when I came back if I'd already

    而不記得當我回來的時候,如果我已經'd

  • dialed those numbers.

    撥打了這些號碼。

  • So I had to wield my paralyzed arm like a stump

    所以我只好把癱瘓的手臂像樹樁一樣揮舞起來。

  • and cover the numbers as I went along and pushed

    掩蓋數字,因為我走了,並推

  • them, so that as I would come back to normal

    所以,當我恢復正常的時候。

  • reality, I'd be able to tell, "Yes, I've already dialed that number."

    現實中,我'會告訴,"是的,我'已經撥通了那個號碼。

  • Eventually, the whole number gets dialed

    最終,整個號碼被撥通

  • and I'm listening to the phone, and

    我聽著電話,和我'。

  • my colleague picks up the phone and he says to me,

    我的同事拿起電話,他對我說:

  • "Woo woo woo woo." (Laughter) And I think to myself,

    "嗚嗚嗚."(笑聲)我心想。

  • "Oh my gosh, he sounds like a Golden Retriever!"

    "哦,我的天哪,他聽起來像一隻金毛犬!&quot。