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  • I was a weird kid, and I wanted the popular girls to accept me into their group,

    我以前很古怪,希望學校風雲女孩允許我加入他們

  • and I thought having a screen name like this

    所以我覺得這個帳號

  • would trick them into thinking I was one of them.

    會讓她們誤認為我是其中的一份子

  • When I was 13, John Cena was my favorite wrestler,

    當我 13 歲的時候,John Cena 是我最喜歡的摔角選手

  • and he called his fans "The Chain Gang"

    他稱他的粉絲為「鎖鍊幫」

  • and me being 13 at the time, had to add a 69 at the end.

    我 13 歲那年,在後面加 69 是種流行

  • (laughing) (beep)

    (笑)(消音)

  • I mean what else can you expect from a person

    當一個人把自己的帳號「穿」上環形耳環

  • who wears her name in hoop earrings?

    你還可以期待什麼?

  • Cause I'm Cuban, and proud.

    我是古巴人,而且自負

  • Fresh out of the Quinceañera stage.

    剛剛過完成年禮

  • So I chose HairyJ69, when I was 18 and in college

    我選擇 HairyJ69,那時我 18 歲在讀大學

  • because I'm hairy, extremely hairy, I'm Jewish,

    毛髮很茂盛,超級濃密,而且是猶太人

  • and I like to 69.

    我喜歡 69

  • I chose this screen name,

    我選擇這個帳號

  • because I wanted to live in California.

    是因為我想要住在加州

  • I thought that's where all the pretty

    我以為那邊住的都是

  • and popular people lived.

    漂亮有名的人

  • Clearly I wasn't much of a speller.

    一看就知道我拼字能力不好。(註:California 拼成 Califor"ina")

  • This is genius all right, when you're scanning your friends list,

    我根本就是天才,當你在看好友列表時

  • you wonder who's on,

    你會好奇這是誰

  • and then when you see that I'm on,

    當你看到我在線上

  • you're like, "hey, Ryan in on."

    心裡會說:「嘿,Ryan 上線了。」

  • I added the X because I forgot my password.

    後面加上 X 是因為我忘記過密碼

  • I'm pretty proud of it actually.

    我還挺驕傲的

  • [Voiceover] That never occurred to you Ryan is on "X" ?

    [旁白] 你沒想過會是 「Ryan 在嗑藥」嗎?(X 代表 ecstasy 搖頭丸)

  • Oh (beep) (laughs) No that never occurred to me.

    噢 (消音)(笑) 我從來沒想過

  • Oh my god.

    天啊

  • You threw me off, man I'm like...

    你把我搞糊塗了,天啊,簡直是...

  • (laughs)

    (笑)

  • You ruined it, (beep).

    你毀了這一切。(消音)

  • I chose this name when I was about 13 years old.

    我 13 歲的時候創了這個帳號

  • Stay hooded, because I thought I would stay ghetto.

    「帶著頭巾」是因為我以為我會一直像街頭小混混

  • Brat is because I was spoiled.

    Brat 是因為那時我被寵壞了。(註:Brat 表示乳臭未乾的小孩)

  • And 0131 because I'm an Aquarius.

    0131,因為我是水瓶座

  • Chubbystar, cause I was a little thick growing up

    「胖明星」,因為我小時候還蠻壯的

  • and clearly I'm a (beep) star.

    而且一看就知道我是個(消音)明星

  • I don't know why I chose 27 actually.

    老實說不知道當時為何選擇 27

  • That's my age right now.

    但這是我現在的年紀

  • Maybe this is all like full circle.

    也許這是一種因果

  • I wasn't very good at girls,

    我不擅常跟女孩子互動

  • so I thought that maybe being

    所以我想或許表現得

  • quirky and slapstick would help.

    古怪或有趣一點可以讓我有所不同

  • It didn't.

    但並沒有

  • I was shocked when this was not taken.

    我很訝異沒有人使用這個帳號

  • It's not ironic enough to be funny.

    看來這還不足以冷諷到讓人覺得好笑

  • It's, it's more painful.

    反而更受傷

  • I don't know why I thought this was cool

    我不知道為什麼我覺得這是個很酷

  • or okay or acceptable in any way.

    很棒、很讓人滿意的帳號

  • I thought farts were hilarious as a junior high student and sad part is, I was born in 83, not 87.

    國中的時候,我覺得「放屁」很好笑,不過可憐的是,我是 83 年出生,不是 87 年

  • Fartlover83 was taken.

    已經有人使用「放屁愛好者 83」這個帳號

  • So I'm not alone in my loving farts.

    看來「愛好放屁」的人不是只有我

  • So I was 13, I was trying to get girls online,

    我 13 歲的時候,試著透過網路認識女生

  • and I thought I was a Cyber Casanova.

    把自己想成是個網路浪子

  • I like to not live with regrets,

    生活不留一點遺憾

  • I was trying to get chicks on AOL.

    我試著在即時通上泡妞

  • I really liked soccer, and I liked the word "dude".

    我真的很喜歡足球,也喜歡 dude 這個字 (註:dude意指男孩或花花公子)

  • I thought dudette sounded weird.

    "dudette" 聽起來很怪

  • I didn't wanna have a number, so my dad suggested ii,

    而我也不想要加任何數字,所以我爸爸建議我加上 ii

  • cause it means the second.

    因為這意思是二世。(註:羅馬數字 2 為II)

  • So my AIM name is technically Soccer Dude the second.

    所以我的即時通帳號為「足球男孩二世」

  • I made up this word and I don't know what it means at all.

    我創了這個字,但一點也不知道是什麼意思

  • I have no idea what I was going for with this.

    完全不懂那時的我在想什麼

  • My AIM name was Blackbarbiegoku367.

    我的即時通帳號是「黑色芭比悟空 367」

  • Because it combined my four favorite things.

    結合了四種我喜歡的東西

  • Being black, playing with barbies,

    身為黑人、玩芭比娃娃

  • Goku from Dragon Ball Z, and 367 because

    七龍珠的悟空,至於 367

  • that was my crushes locker number.

    是我暗戀的人的置物櫃密碼

  • I'm not ashamed.

    我不覺得羞恥

  • (laughs)

    (笑)

  • (beep). (laughs)

    (消音)(笑)

  • (beep) You know what, I'm a little embarrassed.

    (消音) 跟你說,我覺得有點尷尬

  • I'll say it.

    我承認

  • I thought it was the king of AIM, but,

    我以為這是最炫的帳號,但...

  • (beep).

    (消音)

I was a weird kid, and I wanted the popular girls to accept me into their group,

我以前很古怪,希望學校風雲女孩允許我加入他們

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超尷尬!你小時候的即時通帳號是什麼呢?(People Explain Their Childhood AIM Names)

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    大燿 發佈於 2017 年 10 月 03 日
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