And every time I hear the news, "I'm getting married!"

每當我聽到這樣的消息：「我要結婚了！」

Though I say, "Congratulations!"

雖然我會說：恭喜！

All I can think is, "What's wrong with me?"

但我腦中只想著：「我到底有什麼問題？」

Why isn't anyone proposing to me?

為什麼沒有人跟我求婚？

I've never been proposed to before.

沒有人跟我求過婚。

What if I die alone?

如果我孤獨地死去怎麼辦？

What if no one ever wants me in the end?

如果我要死了還沒有人要我怎麼辦？

Maybe I should be a feminist and propose to my boyfriend.

也許我該當個女權主義者，主動跟男朋友求婚。

No, that's weird.

不，這太奇怪了。

I'm self-aware enough to know that this, like, pressure to feel like I wanna get married comes from like fairy tale books, and Disney movies, and reading the vampire trilogies when I was 13 years old.

我自覺這種想要結婚的壓力來自於童話故事書、迪士尼電影以及13歲讀過的《吸血鬼三部曲》。

But even though you know all of that, you can't help but feel like, "I wanna get married."

不過即使你都明白，你還是忍不住去想：「我好想結婚啊！」

But I'm also self-aware enough to know that I don't want to get married because I wanna declare my eternal love for someone.

但是我又有自覺知道我並不想為了宣示對某人永恆的愛而結婚。

No, I just want to get married because I want the party.

不，我想結婚是因為我想辦一場派對。

I want a giant cake and an expensive dress and a whole day where it's all about me.

我想要一個巨大的蛋糕、昂貴的裙子，還有一整天都是「以我為中心」的日子。

It's like your birthday but bigger.

就像是生日一樣，不過排場更大。

One day, you are gonna get married and that means you get to get a really expensive nice dress, and all of your friends have to come and be nice to you.

有一天，你會結婚，這表示著你會穿上極為昂貴又漂亮的禮服，你所有的朋友都得來，並向你示好。

And give you gifts and then you'll have a big feast.

然後送你禮物，然後妳會有一場盛大的宴會。

And you share this day with somebody but that person doesn't matter as much as you because this is your day.

然後你將和他人分享這份喜悅，但他們沒有妳重要，因為這一天是屬於你的。

And it's kind of weird because when you think about "actual marriage" that you're gonna settle down with someone and spend your entire life with them.

這有點奇怪，因為當你思考「真正的婚姻」，代表你得安定下來，和某人度過餘生。

It seems really dumb to get married after only knowing someone for a couple of years, right?

只認識幾年就結婚似乎十分愚蠢的，對吧？

You should spend a lot of time with that person so you know that you can tolerate each other.

你需要花很長的時間和對方相處，瞭解彼此是不是能互相容忍。

I wanna kill you but I won't.

我想要把你殺了，但我不會真的殺。

That's what love is baby.

寶貝，這就是愛。

And yet we put so much pressure on getting married.

但我們卻對結婚這件事施加極大的壓力。

You know, like even as we get older, if we're not married, we kind of think that person's like weird or not worthy of love.

你也知道，就像如果年紀越來越大，卻沒有結婚，我們多少會認為那個人很奇怪，或是並不值得愛。

And like I haven't fully decided like whether or not I want to get married cause you know there's that whole debate of like, whether or not monogamy is even feasible in today's world.

然後就像我還沒完全決定我是不是真的想結婚，因為你也知道備受爭議的話題：一夫一妻制在現今的社會中是否仍然可行？

Where we're gonna live to a hundred and twenty and people change all the time.

我們都將活到 120 歲，而且人總是在變。

And we're getting more open to different views.

而且我們越來越能夠接受對於不同的觀念。

I haven't really like nailed down my thoughts on marriage.

我一直以來對婚姻都沒有明確的想法。

Much less kids... that's like a whole other video I don't even want to get it into right now.

更不用提生小孩，這是另外一個話題了，我現在不想談論這個。

But I just kinda wanted to talk about it and see what people thought, like, if you got married really young, did you get divorced?

但我就單純想聊聊婚姻，瞭解大家的想法，例如，如果你很年輕就結婚，你後來離婚了嗎？

Do you agree with marriage?

你同意婚姻的存在嗎？

Is that what you're looking for?

這是你所嚮往的嗎？

Are you like me, and you just really want to get married cause the idea of it is really cool.

或者你像我一樣，你想要結婚，只是因為這種想法很酷。

You get to have a really dope party where everyone just gets fucked up in your name.

你可以辦一場很棒的派對，然後大家一起以你之名喝個爛醉。

I'm Anna Akana. Stay Awesome Gotham.

我是 Anna Akana，「Stay Awesome Gotham」的經營者。

Although now I'm in Ant Man so I should probably be more supportive of the Marvel Universe

雖然我目前對「蟻人」感興趣，所以我現在應該要更支持漫威漫畫才對。

So stay marvelous...

所以，維持不凡...

I'm Anna Man.

我是 Anna 人。

I'm Anna Man, stay marvelous.

我是 Anna 人，維持不凡。

I'm getting married.

我要結婚了。

Congratulations!

恭喜！

I know. You will never believe how he proposed. So we went to the Taj Mahal, and it was just amazing.

我知道。 你完全不會想到他怎麼向我求婚的。我們去了泰姬瑪哈陵，這真的太棒了。

And I'm so excited for the wedding and I'm gonna have pigs in a blanket and thinking about maybe we are gonna have 3 kids.

而且我超級期待婚禮的到來，我要吃小點心 (美國麵包夾香腸點心)，還有想想或許我們要有三個小孩。

We are gonna have 2 girls and a hermaphrodite, it's gonna be so great and their names are gonna be Billy, Jilly, and Lily.

我們要有兩個女生，另一個性別是什麼都可以，最好他們的名字能夠是 Billy、Jilly 和 Lily。