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  • My wife is having a baby this summer

    我老婆暑假要生小孩了

  • we don't know if..we are having a boy or a g..but we assume the one or the other.

    我們不知道他是男的還是女...不過我們假設因該是其中一個

  • but you never know

    不過你永遠不會確定

  • I have two older kids. My kids are in their forties now. One of them is older than I am.

    我有兩個大一點的小孩。他們已經進入四開頭了。其中一個比我還老。

  • So it's been a long time since I took care of baby. Forget almost everything.

    所以我已經很長一段時間沒有照顧寶寶了。我們大概全部都忘了。

  • or at least I forgot almost everything.

    或至少我大概全忘了。

  • so to brush up and to get some advice on how to raise a child

    所以為了要喚起記憶然後索取一些如何帶小孩的建議

  • I went right to the source.

    我去找了最直接的資源

  • I asked a child to help me figure some things out.

    我去問了一個小孩來幫我解答一些事情

  • a six-year-old girl named Aila and

    一個六歲,名叫 Aila的小女孩

  • well, we had a very enlightening conversation.

    我們有個非常有啓蒙的對話

  • Aila, how old are you?

    Aila,你今年幾歲?

  • Six

    六歲

  • So you've been a kid for a while now.

    所以你當小孩已經有一段時間了。

  • How long?

    多久?

  • I have no idea.

    我不知道。

  • But you were a baby once?

    不過你曾經是一個寶寶?

  • yeah everyone is a baby once.

    對啊。 所有人曾經都是個寶寶。

  • that's true

    說的也是。

  • What am I hoping for is that you can give me some information and teach me how to be a good dad.

    我希望說你可以給我一些信息然後叫我怎麼成為一個好爸爸。

  • Cause my wife is having a baby. Ok?

    我老婆懷孕了。 好嗎?

  • okay..

    好...

  • And I just wondering what you think like what to you is a good dad.

    我好奇你覺得怎樣算是一個好爸爸

  • What does a good dad do.

    一個好爸爸會怎麼做。

  • Well, I suggest you start changing the diaper

    我建議你從換尿布開始

  • Myself?

    我來?

  • yeah!

    對啊

  • yuck... I don't want to do that.

    噁心...我不想要做。

  • Well, you are not gonna really like eat the poop.

    你又不會真的吃到大便

  • Yeah I am.

    會我會

  • No you're not! Yes I am. No you're not.

    不會你不會!會我會。不你不會

  • Well,what am I supposed to do with it? Throw it against the wall?

    好,那我因該要拿尿布怎麼辦?把它丟到牆上?

  • You are supposed to wipe the butt!

    你因該要擦屁股!

  • Ewwww.

    噁........

  • I'm not gonna do that. Who's butt

    我才不要做勒。誰的屁股?

  • The baby's butt. With the wipe.

    寶寶的屁股。用紙巾

  • Oh no..no way the baby doesn't want that.

    喔..不...不 寶寶也不想那樣。

  • The baby should learn to wipe its own butt.

    寶寶因該要學會自己擦屁股

  • But they don't know how because

    不過他們不知道喔怎麼做啊因為

  • they don't have a smart brain. They don't?

    他們沒有一個聰明的腦。他們沒有?

  • Does baby comes with brain? or do you have to have that put in.

    寶寶生出來有頭腦嗎?還是你要幫他們把腦裝進去。

  • They do come with brains. It's just like they don't know better and they're just like squirming around like

    他們生下來就有腦的。不過他們比較不懂事所以他們就會亂鬧。

  • Are they dumb?

    他們是笨蛋嗎?

  • heheh no! They are not dumb!

    呵呵呵不是!他們不是笨蛋!

  • Well they can't even wipe themselves. That's doesn't sound very smart to me.

    可是他們連自己擦屁股都不會。這聽起來不怎麼聰明。

  • So you're gonna have to do it yourself

    所以需要你自己來做。

  • That's what grown ups do.

    這就是大人該做的。

  • Oh no. I don't want to do that.

    喔不。我不想做。

  • So first you have to open the diaper. Ahh.

    所以你需要先打開尿布。額。

  • and then you're gonna get a wipe then wipe the butt. Hold on.

    然後你要拿紙巾來擦它的屁股。等等。

  • Will you show me how to do that with the baby doll. Will you show me how to do it?

    你可以拿一個娃娃來做示範嗎。你可以示範給我看怎麼做嗎?

  • Ok but just where's the baby doll.

    好不過娃娃在哪

  • Here's the baby doll. Now is this the right way to hold a baby?

    在這裏。所以這是抱寶寶對的方式嗎?

  • Nope.

    不是

  • Well how should I do it

    所以該怎麼做

  • So you should do it like that. Okay.

    你因該這麼做。好。

  • If they are like one-year-old you can do it like this. Hold it by the butt and like that.

    如果他們一歲了的話你可以這樣抱。像這樣抱住屁股。

  • That's..ok..so here we go.

    這...好...所以這樣。

  • No! Not like...What I'm holding by the butt.

    不!不是...怎樣?我抱住他的屁股啦

  • No. no no no no no..

    不不不不不不....

  • Flip it over and hold it like that.

    把它轉過來然後這樣抱。

  • Ohhh the other way. Ok ok

    喔~另一邊。好好。

  • Now this butt I'm holding by, this is where the poops come out so this I don't want to touch.

    現在我抱的這邊就是便便出來的地方所以我不想碰。

  • You're not gonna touch the butt. You're just gonna touch it with wipe.

    你不會碰到屁股。你只需要用紙巾碰。

  • So like your hands are gonna be clean but you are gonna have to wash them

    所以你的手會是乾淨的不過你還是需要洗手

  • Okay. So here we put the baby right here.

    好。我們把寶寶放在這。

  • Yeah and then some..good just diaper on. (Jimmy: the baby has the diaper on)

    然後...很好只有尿布。(Jimmy:寶寶穿著尿布)

  • So like you're gonna pull the side then open it up

    所以你要先把兩邊拉開再打開它

  • right..eww there's poop.

    對...額 有大便。

  • What? It's chocolate!

    什麼?那是巧克力!

  • It is?!

    這是?

  • Yep we just pretend...well but I don't know if it is chocolate

    好我們假裝它是...不過我不太確定是巧克力

  • You're eating the poop

    你在吃大便

  • I'm still not sure if it's chocolate or not.

    我還是不太確定這是不是巧克力。

  • Ok just...you're eating the poop.

    好不過...你在吃便便

  • So I should not do that to the real baby.

    所以我不該對真的寶寶這麼做

  • No! Because it's real poop.

    不!因為那是真的大便。

  • You don't want to eat poop and get all sick.

    你不會想要吃便便然後生病。

  • Right. You are right. Okay

    對。你說的沒錯。好

  • Now, now what do I do?

    那現在我怎麼做?

  • So you're gonna get a wipe and then wipe it like that

    然後你拿一個紙巾然後這樣擦。

  • and then you're gonna lift the baby up. Ok, then you gonna wipe this part. With your hand?

    然後你再把寶寶抱起來。好,然後擦這個地方。用你的手?

  • No! With the wipe

    不!用紙巾。

  • Well why don't you using a wipe. I saw you using your hand.

    那為什麼你不用紙巾。我看你都用手。

  • Well there's no wipes here.

    因為現在這裏沒有紙巾。

  • Oh so what do I do if there's..oh look it out wipes just came in

    喔所以如果有的話...喔看紙巾來了

  • Thanks dad!

    謝啦爸!

  • Yeah thanks dad.

    耶 謝謝爸爸

  • So you wipe the butt. Oh! I have a good idea. what if there's extra poop

    然後你擦屁股。喔!我有個好主意。如果有多餘的大便怎麼辦

  • You should put it in the baby's hat right?

    我們因該把它放進寶寶的帽子裡對吧?

  • No no no! What?

    不不不!怎麼了?

  • You should put it...it's...so..(Jimmy:sorry..here you go.)

    你因該把它放在...這...所以(Jimmy:抱歉..這給你)

  • Put it in here. Okay.

    放在這。 好

  • And then we're gonna roll it up and throw it in the trash but where are the trash.

    然後我們要把它捲起來然後丟到垃圾桶里不過垃圾桶在哪

  • Oh here I'll take it.

    喔來我來拿

  • Umm let's see. Oh! I know we will throw it at the wall.

    額 我們來看看。喔!我知道了。我們把它丟到牆上。

  • No! The trash! The trash. Remember I told you earlier? The trash!

    不!垃圾桶!垃圾桶。記得我之前跟你說的嗎?垃圾桶!

  • But then the trash guy gotta come pick it up and then he doesn't want this.

    不過收垃圾的人會來收,這不會是他們想做的

  • No!

    不!

  • It's such a hard thing to figure out.

    這真是個很難解決的問題

  • Ma ma mia...

    我的天啊....

  • Here's this how it gotta go

    這是接下來會發生的事

  • I'm gonna tell my wife Aila taught me how to change the baby when it has a poopy diaper

    我會告訴我的老婆說Aila教我怎麼換寶寶的髒尿布

  • and what you do is you take a diaper off the baby, you get some wipes, you eat the poop

    然後你要做的就是先把尿布拿掉,拿一些紙巾,把大便吃掉

  • then wipe the baby's butt

    然後擦寶寶的屁股

  • and then you throw it at the garbage man as he drives you by

    然後再把尿布朝來收垃圾的清潔工丟去

  • Yes?

    對吧?

  • Yes.

    對的

  • I think that's what we do.

    我覺得這就是我們要做的

  • N O. No!

    不 是。 不!

  • I'm gonna be a very bad parent.

    我會成為一個非常爛的家長。

  • AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

  • So were you. hehehe.

    你也是。呵呵呵。

My wife is having a baby this summer

我老婆暑假要生小孩了

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A2 初級 中文 美國腔 TED 寶寶 紙巾 尿布 屁股 大便

【吉米秀】看小妹妹怎麼教Jimmy帶小孩(Jimmy Gets Parenting Advice From Kids)

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    Angie Hsu 發佈於 2015 年 07 月 31 日
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