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  • Are you a high performing athlete?

    你是個高性能的運動員嗎?

  • Do you strive for excellence and test the limits of your own endurance?

    你會追求卓越和測試自己的極限嗎?

  • If so, you're the ideal candidate to drink our flavored solution of salt, sugar and water.

    如果你符合上述條件,你就是喝這瓶只是鹽、糖跟水的混合物的最佳人選

  • If you're not an elite athlete,

    如果你不是優秀運動員,

  • a regular diet of salted, sugar water may contribute to obesity or high blood pressure,

    把攝取加了鹽的糖水當成日常飲水,可能造成肥胖及高血壓

  • but we'd still like you to drink it.

    但我們還是希望您繼續喝啦

  • As the elite athlete market alone is too small to support our business,

    因為只針對優秀運動員的市場實在是太小了,根本無法支撐我們的生意

  • a solution of salt, sugar and water

    這個加了鹽、糖跟水的混合物

  • is also helpful if you have a hangover,

    在你宿醉的時候也很有幫助

  • extreme diarrhea,

    或是超嚴重腹瀉

  • or just wanted to feel marginally less guilty about drinking a soda,

    或者只是對想減少喝汽水的罪惡感也很有幫助啦

  • we promise our flavored solution of salt, sugar and water

    我們保證我們這瓶加了鹽、糖及水的混合物

  • will temporarily satisfy

    會暫時滿足

  • your obsolete, caveman brain's insatiable desire for sweets.

    滿足你那未進化完全的穴居人大腦對於甜食的過度渴望

  • That's because it contains the same amount of

    這是因為這瓶飲料

  • sugar as a can of Coke and enough salt to kill a banana slug.

    含糖量和一罐可樂差不多,也有足夠的鹽量可殺死一隻香蕉蛞蝓.

  • And only Horton brand combines three secret ingredients

    Horton品牌是唯一結合三種秘密配方

  • with bitchin' flavor names for a placebo effect that you can taste.

    配很酷口味的名字讓你品嘗的時候你有被安慰到的效果

  • We also put words on the bottle

    我們還有在瓶子上寫一些字

  • that seem connected to the idea of health,

    那些字好像跟健康很有關聯

  • but actually means sugar and salt

    但實際上只是在指糖及鹽啦

  • words like electrolytes

    例如「電解物」之類的字

  • fuel

    「燃料」啦

  • power

    「力量」啦

  • vitamin

    「維他命」

  • and cooldurance.

    以及「cooldurance」

  • I made up that last one.

    最後一個字是我自己發明的啦

  • Anyway, here's someone running on a treadmill

    無論如何,這有個人在跑步機上

  • attached to sensors.

    身上連了一堆感應器

  • This does an excellent job of illustrating

    這個完全的說明

  • the type of thing that is not part of our process.

    這部分跟我們的研發過程其實一點都沒關係啦

  • Most professional athletes today

    大部分的職業運動員

  • don't even drink salted, sugar water unless we pay them to.

    如果我們不付錢給它們,他們甚至連這瓶鹽、糖的水的混合物都不喝

  • You'd think they wouldn't need

    你們覺得他們應該不需要

  • the extra money

    這種多餘的錢

  • but they've ruined their bodies for your entertainment

    但他們其實為了你的娛樂毀了他們自己的身體

  • and they must take what they can

    所以他們必須拚死命地賺錢

  • before their spine degrade into a fine powder.

    在他們的的骨頭退化成一堆粉之前

  • ahh, mehh

    啊~~

  • Kinda chalky

    有點乾乾粉粉的感覺

  • Horton flavored solution: salt, sugar and water.

    Horton的鹽、糖、水的加味混合物

  • This year there's a purple one called Panther Rain.

    今年推出了一瓶紫色的飲料叫「黑豹暴雨」

  • That's what I call a slam dunk

    這就是所謂的扣籃啦

  • And Roger with the pick! arghhhh

    Roger搶到球了! 啊~~~

  • I'm Roger, by the way.

    順便提一下,我是Roger.

Are you a high performing athlete?

你是個高性能的運動員嗎?

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如果運動飲料廣告誠實的告訴你真相...(If Sports Drink Commercials Were Honest)

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    Charlene Tai 發佈於 2015 年 07 月 14 日
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