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  • Hey it's Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV,

    你好,我是 Marie Forleo,你現在收看的是 MarieTV,

  • the place to be to create a business and life you love.

    這裡為你打造你喜愛的事物和熱愛的生活。

  • And today whether you are a parent, you hope to be a parent, or even you have parents,

    今天,無論你是當人爸媽、想當爸媽,還是爸媽的小孩,

  • I think each of us wants a more loving and connected relationship

    我想大家都想要家庭關係,變得更有愛、

  • to our families and my guest today is gonna show us how.

    更緊密,今天的來賓就會教大家怎麼做。

  • Dr. Shefali Tsabary is a clinical psychologist and author of the award-winning book The Conscious Parent.

    Shefali Tsabary 醫生是臨床心理學家,也是曾獲獎《The Conscious Parent》的作者,

  • Oprah Winfrey has hailed it as one of the most profound books in parenting she's ever read.

    主持人歐普拉曾稱讚,說這是她看過最有深度的親子書。

  • Her latest book, Out of Control: Why disciplining your child doesn't workand what will,

    她最新的書《Out of Control: Why disciplining your child doesn't work…and what will》

  • is breaking ground with its revolutionary perspective on how to create positive change in families.

    也對於改善家庭關係提出了全新的觀點,

  • She blends mindfulness with western psychology, integrating wisdom from both traditions.

    她結合東方佛教中的「正念」和西方心理學,融和兩方的智慧。

  • Dr. Shefali has a private practice in New York City.

    Shefali 醫生在紐約也有開設自己的診療室。

  • Dr. Shefali, thank you for being here.

    Shefali 醫生你好,謝謝你來上這個節目。

  • Of course, I'm so excited.

    哪裡,我今天非常興奮。

  • So as we were talking before the episode I was sharing how we have so many parents in our audience,

    在節目前我有跟你聊過,說我們節目的觀眾有很多都是爸爸媽媽,

  • but then we have this unexpected amazing audience of people like age 9 or 10 and up.

    但想不到的是,也有 9 歲或 10 幾歲的小觀眾。

  • So I'm so excited to have you here today so we can talk not only about conscious parenting,

    所以我很興奮今天你能來,因為我們可以不只談如何當個覺醒的父母,

  • but also really the underpinning spiritual principles that can help all of us

    也可以聊一些強化心靈的原則來幫助大家,

  • relate better to ourselves and our teams and our parents and our kids and just have

    更了解無論是自己、身邊的群體、我們的父母、或我們的孩子,

  • better relationships across the board.

    也能全面改善我們的人際關係。

  • Absolutely.

    當然沒問題。

  • So let's start off. What are some of the basic ideas around your concept of conscious parenting?

    那我們就開始吧。你說過「有意識地當父母」,那基本的理念有哪些?

  • So like you said, even though I talk and write about conscious parenting, it's really about all relationships,

    就像你說的,雖然我談的、我寫的都是有關如何有意識地當父母,但內容其實跟所有的人際關係都有關,

  • but particularly the parent-child dynamic because that is just such a personal relationship.

    會特別談親子關係,因為這是一個非常特別的人際關係,

  • I mean, I don't think anyone gets more defensive about their issues than a parent

    我的意思是,沒有任何人可以比父母更呵護他們的孩子了。

  • because the child is yours, you know, it's the one person you believe, narcissistically disillusioned,

    因為孩子是你的,是你最信任的人,就算這種自戀產生的幻覺消失,

  • to believe that it's yours. It's a delusion, but you believe it's yours. Right?

    你還是相信孩子是你的。這其實是幻覺,但你還是相信孩子是「你的」,對吧?

  • So the ego comes roaring in such ferocity, in such velocity and you believe

    所以你的「自我」就迅速地、兇猛地在內心咆哮,讓你以為

  • you can, you know, possess and control and contour this person into the ideal image of yourself.

    你擁有這個人,你可以掌控且改變他,直到他成為你心中理想的模樣,

  • We're doing this in all relationships but we do it full force in the parent-child relationship,

    在每個人際關係中,我們多少都會這樣做,但在親子關係中是最嚴重的。

  • and my approach speaks to this in position of the parental ego on the child.

    我以父母想掌控孩子的「自我」為角度來談這件事。

  • And asks parents and takes them to task on it. Challenges them to become aware that there

    我請一些父母來,然後在這件事情上責備他們。責備他們是要讓他們意識到,

  • is this thing called the unconscious that we put on our children and impose on them

    我們對孩子施加壓力,都是潛意識驅使所做出來的行為,

  • burdens from our emotional past that are not really theirs to hold, to bear, to contain, to heal.

    那些全來自於我們過去的情緒,不應該由孩子來承擔、吸收,

  • This kind of internal fixing needs to be done by ourselves.

    這種內在的改變需要靠我們自己才能完成。

  • But we're unconscious of this, so onto our children comes

    因為潛意識作祟,所以我們把以前身上所背的

  • all our past baggage and all our desires, all our, you know, wishes for our own ideal self to

    包袱、渴望和夢想,全部丟到孩子身上,為的是讓孩子,

  • be manifested that we couldn't but we make our children do it.

    幫我們實現那個我們沒能成為、理想的自己。

  • So in this process of imposing the ego on the child, the child loses its authentic self. Right? And has to forsake

    因此,我們的「自我」掌控孩子的過程中,這孩子就失去了他原本真正的「自我」,

  • its authentic self, give it up for its parent. And the child loves its parent

    他必須捨棄他的「自我」,為了父母拋棄它。因為這孩子愛他的父母,

  • and doesn't even know that this is happening, so will just give it up. And in that process

    所以不知道這一切正在發生,就拋棄了自我。在這個過程中,

  • year after year after year the child becomes increasingly more disconnected from their authentic voice

    年復一年,年復一年,這孩子逐漸聽不見他內心真正的聲音,

  • and then you have an adult who's lost, directionless, purposeless, not knowing how to access that inner voice.

    長大後就變得不知所措、沒有方向和目標,不知道如何傾聽內心真正的聲音。

  • And that's what we see in teenagers, we see that in adults,

    我們可以在很多青少年、成人身上看到這樣的情形,

  • and that process starts in the parent-child dynamic.

    這一切都源自親子關係。

  • This is so fascinating because everything that you're suggesting and all of your work,

    這真得很有趣,因為你提出的論點、你從事的工作,

  • I think, is so revolutionary, so beautiful, but brings us back to our own wisdom

    都是前所未有、很棒的,也喚起我們內心深處的智慧,

  • both as a parent, which I'm a step-parent, I don't have a biological child, but also

    提醒了我,我是一位母親,雖然是繼母,因為孩子並非我親生,但我同時

  • as an individual. You know, listening to our own inner guide. And I think something that

    也是獨立個體,像你說的,傾聽我們內心的聲音。而你說的情況,

  • you said that I see so much throughout my work and I've tried to keep a balance of

    我工作以來看過很多,我也一直在拿捏一個平衡點,就是

  • in my professional life is even though I may have suggestions, is guiding people back to

    即使我給別人建議,也是指引他們回到內心,傾聽他們自己真正的聲音,

  • their own inner voice and their own inner wisdom because they know better than I do.

    喚起他們深層的智慧,因為他們一定比我更懂他們自己,

  • I can give little guideposts or suggestions, but they're usually sparks.

    我會給他們一些指引或建議,但我都點到為止。

  • But that's because you've learned to so honor that inner voice in you

    因為你知道尊重自己內心的聲音很重要,

  • that you don't wanna mess it in anyone else.

    所以你就不會想要擾亂別人內心的聲音。

  • Yes.

    對。

  • Because you realize how sacred that is, what a valuable, inestimable gift that is. Right?

    因為你知道這聲音非常神聖、是珍貴無價的,對吧?

  • So you're not giving that up. So therefore you hold it sacred in the others you meet.

    所以你不會拋棄它。因此,你也會把別人內心的聲音視為非常神聖的。

  • But imagine being raised having that inner voice being trampled. Right?

    但你試想,如果你在成長過程中,內心的聲音一直被忽視呢?

  • That inner voice being disconnected from within,

    那聲音在你心裡離你越來越遠,

  • so then you don't even know that you need to be honoring this voice. So when your child comes

    你就不會尊重它了。所以當你有了孩子,

  • you're thinking, "Ok, I'll just do what my parents did

    你就會想「爸媽都這樣待我,那我也這樣去待我的孩子,

  • and just slap on my huge ego onto them, "and thus goes on the process of generational

    然後用我的『自我』掌控他們」,繼續這種把創傷、痛苦

  • trauma, generational pain. It just keeps going on and on.

    一代傳一代的過程。不斷地循環這樣的過程。

  • Yeah. You're giving me so much respect for my mom right now. I just saw her in Vegas not too long ago and

    你這樣講,我現在更尊敬我媽了,我前陣子剛去維加斯見她,

  • since I was a very little girl she would tell me that I have this small voice inside

    從我還是小女孩的時候,她就告訴我,我內心有這樣小小的聲音存在,

  • and she's like, "What do you think? How does it feel?" And

    她也會說像是,「你覺得呢?感覺起來怎樣?」

  • I love hearing this because it really is, we all have this beautiful gift that guides us to

    我很喜歡她這樣問我,因為真的就是你說的,我們心中都有這樣美好的聲音,幫助我們

  • decision making, relationships, how to be a great person. And I love this approach

    做決定、與人相處,也幫助我們成為更好的人,我很喜歡你的方法,

  • because you're giving parents such freedom and so much more soulful connection

    因為你給予父母足夠的自由,也連繫了父母和他們最愛的寶貝,

  • with the little beings they created and they love more than anything.

    彼此之間的情感。

  • Yeah. It's the biggest gift to give parents, it is ultimately freeing, but parents get

    這的確給了父母最大的幫助,沒有任何束縛,但他們會

  • threatened by this approach because it's all about them. It's about them doing the inner work.

    被這方法嚇到,因為主要是他們,是他們要做內在的改變,

  • They can't be misguided into believing, seduced into believing, that there's

    不要讓他們搞錯,誤以為

  • some therapist that's gonna come and fix their child or fix them.

    是治療師要來治療他們或是他們的孩子。

  • They're gonna have to do the inner work.

    他們一定要做內在的改變,

  • But the minute they are on this journey they become liberated

    一旦他們做了改變,他們的心靈就自由了,

  • because they can trust that inner guide, they can re-access their own, you know, purpose for living

    因為他們相信自己內心的指引,他們就可以重新審視他們生活的目標,

  • and reorient themselves to their inner compass. Right? What greater liberation?

    讓生活跟著內心的指南針走,回歸正軌。多麼自由!

  • They don't have to read another parenting book, they canright? It all starts from within.

    他們不需要再看任何的親子教育書,是吧?一切都要從「心」開始,

  • So that's the core principle and authenticity then becomes the core principle of the family life.

    這就是核心原則,真實地做自己就是家庭生活的核心原則,

  • Authenticity, worth, self orientation, inner introspection, inner reflection.

    真誠的內心、自我的價值、自我導向、和自我反省、省思都是很重要的,

  • So these become the pillars of raising a child, not success, not grades, not beauty, not wealth.

    這些才是支撐孩子長大的,不是成功、分數、美貌或財富,

  • It's all the inner dimension.

    一切都是跟心理層面有關的。

  • Which leads me to something that we talked about on the phone and I thought it was excellent.

    這讓我想到,我們之前在電話裡聊到,一件我覺得很棒的事情,

  • Let's say our child or ourselves, we're struggling with something as common as overeating.

    就拿我們自己或我們的孩子來說,常見的問題就是暴飲暴食,

  • You know, and so many times we wanna go right to perhaps the action. Ok, well, we need to

    我們最直接的解決辦法,往往就是改變我們的外在行為。就像,我們需要

  • adjust the diet or start looking at how much food. And perhaps that's a component

    調整飲食或是拿捏食物的分量。也許這是一項原因,

  • but you said, "No, no, no, no, no, there's something much deeper that we need to look at."

    但你說「不不不不不,我們需要注意的是更深層、內在層面的東西。」

  • Well, so this approach really stays true to the premise that it's all happening on an internal level.

    這個方法也符合這個前提,就是一切問題都來自內在心理,

  • So all external behaviors are a mirror of the internal landscape.

    藉由外在行為反映出來。

  • And so it is with the people we encounter. So first, you know, you orient yourself constantly

    我們遇到的每個人也都是如此。所以首先要做的,就是「不斷地調適自己」,

  • that if another person is being mean to you or said that you're ugly or you're fat

    假如任何人對你不好,或是說你長得很醜、很胖、

  • or you're lazy, it's coming from their pain. So this is the first thing you teach your children,

    或很懶,都是因為他們內心的痛苦,讓他們這樣做的。第一件你要教你孩子的事情,

  • that everyone has this looming, dark unconscious and when that unconscious is triggered,

    就是每個人都有隱藏的、暗黑的潛意識,當潛意識被激發,

  • pain comes out. And pain often looks hurtful and looks mean and looks cruel.

    人的痛苦就會湧現。痛苦往往是很傷人、很殘酷的。

  • And then the second thing to orient children and parents to is that when our sense of worth

    第二件父母或孩子要調適的事情就是,當我們的價值觀

  • is based on how one feels and how connected one is to one's voice, then we are free

    建立在我們的感受,和我們與內心的連結上時,我們就不會

  • from the external tentacles of, you know, either the looks or the grades or the achievement.

    被外界的干擾所牽絆,無論是長相、分數、還是成就,

  • So the orientation to this inner work liberates you from being controlled by the other

    內在的調適讓你不會受到其他人控制,

  • and liberates you from being controlled by what society puts on you in terms of

    也可以讓你擺脫社會給你的束縛,不讓社會

  • how we should be on the outside.

    決定你的樣子。

  • Yeah, because who knows. Who makes up these rules of what's perfect, what's successful?

    是,因為沒有人曉得,是誰立下這些規定,定義什麼是完美、什麼是成功。

  • Right.

    沒錯。

  • We were talking about this on a recent episode that we just shot just about success, you know,

    我們最近錄完一集,就是在聊這個,聊成功的定義是什麼,

  • society can't even define it clearly. It's like something that we really need to take back for ourselves

    就連社會也無法給出一個明確的答案。我們真正要做的是找回「自己」,

  • and really look at, you know, orientating it around

    像你說的調適自己,認真地審視

  • what's happening on the inside.

    內心真正想要的是什麼。

  • But we have to be mavericks in this. We have to be kind of rebellious and go against the tide

    但我們勢必會變得特立獨行、有點反抗,與主流背道而馳,

  • because especially for parents, I mean, the pressure we have. You know, if you enroll

    因為尤其是父母,因為我們的壓力更大,像是,你的孩子

  • your child for ballet at 5 you're already 2 years behind the curve. You know? You're already falling behind.

    5 歲才上芭蕾舞蹈班,已經落後別人 2 年了。你已經落後了。

  • The race to nowhere is treacherous, it's uphill, and it's constant.

    這種無止盡的賽跑很可怕,非常辛苦,而且沒有結束的一天。

  • But everyone's on it so you feel kind of like you're not doing something right,

    當大家都還在跑道上,你就會覺得,不一起跑就像做錯事一樣,

  • you're not being a good parent by not, you know, entering that herd.

    不合群讓你覺得你是很糟糕的父母。

  • Yes.

    對。

  • So what a maverick parent you have to be but, let me tell you, when I tell parents that

    所以你得變成特立獨行的父母,不過我跟你說,每當我跟父母說

  • they have the freedom to become maverick parents they're so, you know, enlivened by that.

    他們可以特立獨行的時候,他們就變得很有趣。

  • They're just waiting for permission. You know, can I not go crazy if my kid doesn't

    他們變成只聽我的指示行事。像是,「如果我的孩子沒有上長春藤的學校,

  • go to an Ivy League school? Can I allow my kid to just be? You know, this doing, this

    我是不是不能發火?」「我可以讓我的孩子做這個那個嗎?」

  • fixing from the outside. So like you were saying, if a kid overeats or if a person overeats,

    這些都只是改變外在行為,像你剛剛說的,如果一個人或一個小孩暴飲暴食,

  • the behavior is always speaking to the inner feeling, the inner landscape. So always taking

    這樣的外在行為往往在透露他內心的感受,反映內在的樣子,

  • the external to the internal.

    所以凡事都要由表及裡。

  • Yes. One of the questions that we got, and we get thousands of questions from our viewers,

    是。我們收到的其中一則提問,我們都會收到上千則來自觀眾的提問,

  • and there was one that really broke my heart and then when I knew you and I would be talking today

    其中一則提問我看完心都碎了,然後我知道你要來上節目,

  • I said, "You know what? Dr. Shefali, this is one that I really wanna hear her perspective on."

    我就說「你猜是誰?是 Shefali 醫生,我真的很想聽聽看他的意見如何。」

  • So I sent it to you earlier and I'm just gonna read a little bit to orient everyone

    所以我事先把問題寄給你了,接下來我會唸提問的一小段,

  • for this question from Alisha who is struggling with perfectionism, which is not only something

    讓大家稍微了解一下,來自 Alisha 的提問,她對自己的完美主義感到很困擾,這種困擾並非

  • that a teen struggles with but, of course, many people and a lot of women.

    只有青少年會有,很多女性、很多人都有。

  • So she's a very high achiever, she's the president of the future business leaders of America,

    她非常出色,她擔任過美國未來商業大會競賽的主席、

  • she's the vice president of the national junior high society, assistant editor of the yearbook,

    國中學生會副會長、學生會刊編輯助理,

  • she's maintained a 4.0 GPA for the past 5 years,

    她過去 5 年的學業成績維持在 4.0 GPA,

  • and she has high school level classes even though she's in middle school. Check this out.

    國中時就已經在修高中的課程了,來看她的提問,

  • "I have a boyfriend I love, my family that I love, and for some reason whenever I mess up,

    「雖然我有我愛的男友、家人,但不知道為什麼,最近

  • which seems to be a lot lately, I find myself wishing to start over.

    我只要把事情搞砸了,我就會很想要一切重頭來過,

  • Start a new week, a new month so I can just try to make it perfect again.

    再給我一個禮拜、一個月,這樣我就可以把事情做得更完美,

  • I can't tell you how many weeks I've beaten myself up

    我已經不知道自責多少個禮拜了,

  • for not making it a 'perfect week' where I follow my schedule each day.

    因為就算我照著我的計畫走,事情還是不夠完美,

  • No one around me is extremely hard on myself, in fact, most of the people

    我身邊的人都沒有非常苛求我,其實,我身邊

  • I surround myself with are very forgiving of any mistakes I make.

    大部分的人就算看到我犯錯,還是非常包容我,

  • So why can't I stop obsessing over starting anew and making things perfect?"

    那為什麼我還是會不停地想重新來過,把事情做得更完美呢?」

  • -What do you say to Alisha? -She's insightful.

    -你會給 Alisha 什麼建議? -她心思很細膩。

  • She's insightful, she's courageous. At least she knows the traps she's falling under.

    她心思很細膩、也很勇敢,至少她知道自己正陷在什麼困境當中,

  • And she's not unlike millions of us who have put this mantle of perfection.

    而且她不像我們大多數人,外面披了一層完美的披風掩飾著。

  • I can identify with that. Absolutely.

    我認同你說的,沒錯。

  • And decided that this is the only way to validate your sense of self. So she's actually kind of

    很顯然的,這是證明你有自覺的唯一辦法。她能力很好,

  • doomed because she is good at so many things. You know, whenever a parent starts out by telling me,

    但這反而害慘了她,每當父母一開口就跟我說,

  • "You know, the problem with my child is that my child has so much potential,"

    「我的孩子潛能多到我都不知道該怎麼辦了。」

  • I go, "Oh, the child is doomed.' You know, "My child is gifted." I go, "Doomed."

    我心想「這孩子完了。」或是跟我說「我的孩子天生就很優秀。」我想「完了。」

  • Because this is all coming from the outside. So as you can see with her, she's now created

    因為這些都只是外在的一切。所以你可以看到她身上,被貼上了

  • markers of her identity not based on much internal but all things external.

    許多身份的標籤,但都是來自她外在表現,而不是內在。

  • Now, here lies the trap. If one of them doesn't fall into place you can hear her obsessing over it.

    這就是她的困境所在,如果她沒有達到任何一個標籤的標準,她就會執著在那標籤上面,

  • You know, if in the day I don't meet all my markers, which are high markers, she almost

    如果她覺得「我沒有達到所有標籤的標準。」而且那些標準還很高,她就幾乎

  • doesn't have a sense of self. She wants to erase it and start all over again, rebirth herself.

    失去了自覺,她只會想要把一切抹除,然後全部重來一遍,像重生一樣,

  • So her as-is-ness in her humanness, in her ordinariness doesn't exist, cannot exist anymore.

    所以她的自我就消失了,不復存在。

  • So she has to live at this vibration at all times, it's unreasonable,

    她必須無時無刻都上緊發條,對她來說太不公平,

  • it's unsustainable. So she's crumbling under that pressure, but she's put this on herself.

    而且她撐不了多久,就慢慢地被這些壓力擊垮了,但其實壓力都是她給自己的。

  • She's so brilliant that if she could now learn to put all that energy

    她很棒,但她現在要做的,就是把她的注意力,

  • that she's put in the external world and take it in and go, "Did I live with my authentic voice today?

    從外在表現移到內在感受,每天問自己「我傾聽內心真正的聲音了嗎?

  • Did I speak up today? Did I do what my heart told me to do rather than just

    我為自己發聲了嗎?我依照自己的心聲行事,而不是

  • staying in my intellect, in my head, in my mind? Was I allowed to be in stillness?

    被大腦的認知所支配了嗎?我能不能讓自己靜一靜?

  • Did I detach from all external pressures today?" She has to do the reverse. Right? She has to go

    我拋掉所有外在的壓力了嗎?」她要把一切反過來,她必須真正地

  • really inside herself and use that as markers of success. So that's going to be her challenge

    進到自己的內心,用內心的感受來當作衡量成功的標準。她要通過這項考驗

  • as an adult. She's already realizing that she's in a loop. Right?

    才能真的成為大人。不過她已經知道自己所陷入的困境了,

  • So she's gonna have to really make that shift.

    所以她真正要做的,就是心態上的轉變。

  • You know, I think that's fascinating because I can even hear in my own mind as you're saying this,

    我覺得很有趣,因為你在說這些的同時,我也能聽到自己內心的聲音,

  • my spirit softens, my shoulders soften, and I can hear my mind, which is very

    我的精神、我的肩膀都變得很放鬆,我能聽到內心的聲音,使我

  • driven, very go, go, go. But, yes, but I'm striving for excellence. And I think a lesson

    充滿力量、幹勁十足,讓我追求卓越。有一個課題

  • that I've learned and the older I get it's like I can have excellent standards,

    是我隨著年紀增長,不斷在學習的,就是「我可以給自己訂定卓越的標準,

  • but my happiness and my well being has to trump everything and that always comes from within.

    但一切還是要以我內心是否感到快樂、幸福為主。」

  • And I think one of the things we can share with Alisha, I know from at least my own experience

    我想我們可以和 Alisha 分享的,至少從我的經驗來說,其中一件事情就是,

  • having had the blessing to achieve success on some external levels,

    就算你的外在表現一直非常成功、順遂,

  • there's days where if you're not feeling good inside, none of it matters.

    你的內心還是會有難過的時候,不要緊的。

  • It doesn't matter and it doesn't even sit for a second. The next mountain is right there.

    真的不要緊,很快就會過去的,因為機會總會有的。

  • Yes.

    沒錯。

  • So it's almost like the universe gave us these gifts but we're not happy yet

    這就像,就算世界給了我們這些天賦,我們還是不滿意,

  • because now we see the next horizon and we're still racing with the same restlessness. So that's not fair.

    因為我們看到了遠處的地平線,就迫不及待地去追求,但你不可能追得到,

  • The universe is like, "You know what? That's it. This girl can never be happy. I'm stopping right now."

    世界就會說「算了,這女孩永遠不會滿意。我現在都停下來了。」

  • Till she learns. Right? So it's about slowing down and remaining steady wherever we are.

    直到她學會,只要放慢腳步、保持穩定就行了。

  • You know, achievement is great,

    雖然獲得成就是很棒的事情,

  • achievement is purposeful, it drives us, it keeps us living, it juices our life,

    因為它讓我們有明確的目標、驅策我們、讓我們努力生活、豐富我們的生活,

  • but if we're not steady within and we're doing it from this gnawing hunger,

    但如果我們沒有穩定心態,而只是不斷地渴望完美的話,

  • then the hungerwe think that,

    那這樣的渴望...我們會這樣想,

  • oh, you know, the flowers will make me feel happy and a pretty light and a beautiful dress.

    就像,收到美麗的花和漂亮的洋裝讓我心滿意足,

  • But that hunger, because we're feeding it with toxic things, the void just gets wider and bigger.

    但這樣的渴望不同,因為我們用不健康的方式填滿它,所以它的缺口只會變得越來越大。

  • And I think this is such a fun challenge for all of us, especially in our digital world

    我覺得這對我們大家來說,是一個很有趣的課題,尤其是這個數位化的時代,

  • where, you know, for young kids, for teens, for young adults, for adults, people of every age,

    現在無論是小孩、青少年、年輕人、或成年人,不管幾歲,

  • you know, you can go on social media and if you let yourself be sucked into, you know,

    都可以使用社群媒體,而且如果沉迷於此,就像,

  • I can say even for me in our own business and career it's like all these things that

    連我,在職場生涯中,接收到很多都是

  • quote unquote I should be doing and I should be striving for.

    所謂的「我應該...和我應該努力做...」,像有人說

  • You should want your own network television show and I'm like, "Actually, no. I don't." When I pay attention to my own internal voice

    「你應該要有自己的網路節目。」然而我說「說真的,我不用。」每當我專心傾聽自己的心聲,

  • I feel really good about the things I say no to. I feel really good about disengaging from social media

    我都會很慶幸自己說的那些「不」。我很慶幸自己沒有沉溺於社群媒體,

  • so I can stay in touch with my own truth.

    我才能一直忠於自我。

  • And it's hard because the world is coming at you. This girl is doing what she was supposed to do.

    當世界都要你這樣做的時候,你很難說「不」,這女孩做的也都是她「應該」做的事,

  • This is what she was told would get her to her successful next life.

    因為大家都告訴她這樣做人生才會成功,

  • So she thinks she's doing great, but it's creating more hunger in her, it's creating more anxiety in her,

    所以她以為她一直在做對的事,但其實這只會給她更多的慾望和焦慮,

  • so it's insatiable. Right? The success driven, achievement driven world is an insatiable monster.

    她永遠不會滿意,因為追求成功、成就的渴望就像一隻貪心的怪物。

  • It's up to us to say, you know, this is who I am, this is what makes me happy,

    由我們自己決定想要什麼,你可以說,「這就是我」「我很快樂」

  • -and I'm gonna go in pursuit of this. -Yeah.

    -「這是我想追求的」。 -對。

  • So this is something I was so curious to ask you. I know you're a mom, you have a daughter named Maya,

    所以我一直很好奇一件事,想問你,因為我知道你也是一位媽媽,女兒的名字叫 Maya,

  • and I know from my own work, you know, we work really hard

    然後我的工作,我們的職責是盡我們所能,

  • to try and give the best suggestions and resources we can and when I find myself

    給其他人最妥善的建議和資源,所以當我遇到問題

  • in a place of doubt and I'm like, "Oh, I don't know what's going… I should actually go watch my own

    不知道怎麼辦的時候,我就會想,「我該怎麼辦...我是不是要去看一下我的...

  • I did a show on this."

    這個問題我的節目有聊過。」

  • What would Marie say?

    「她會怎麼做?」

  • What would I say? Yes. Do you ever find yourself with your daughter

    「我會怎麼做?」對,你和你的女兒有沒有遇過...

  • All the time.

    時時刻刻。

  • like your daughter's like, "Mom, wait?"

    ...像你女兒說:「媽,什麼?」

  • All the time. Every day. And worse that now they're following me around with the video camera,

    時時刻刻,每天。現在更慘,我老公和我女兒都會拿著錄影機

  • my daughter and my husband. They're like, "Oh, let's go show everyone

    到處跟者我,一邊錄一邊說「我們讓大家看看

  • how Dr. Shefali is being so unconscious. "I look back and they're with a video camera right there.

    Shefali 醫生如何失去自覺。」我回頭看到他們,拿著錄影機站在那邊,