you want to create a business and a life that you love, and I think you do. Yes I do. And

讓你學習創造你所熱愛的事業與生活的最佳選擇，我相信你會喜歡的，沒錯，我也是

this is Q&A Tuesday and today’s question comes from Nishala and she writes:

而今天是週二的你問我答時間，今天的問題來自妮莎拉，上面寫道:

“Dear Marie, what do you do when nobody appreciates you? I’ve been appointed as

「親愛的瑪莉，當妳碰上無人賞識的情況時，妳怎麼做？我在一家非營利公司

the head of my department at a nonprofit and I’ve been super excited about it ever since.

指派擔任部門主管，我從來沒有這麼興奮過

Although it’s a lot of work, we’re educating 120 underprivileged children this year and

雖然工作量不小，像我們今年要培育120位來自弱勢家庭的小朋友

I’ll be training 60 teachers, I absolutely love what I do which is why I’ve put a ton

我個人就要訓練60位教師，但我非常熱愛這份工作，這也是為什麼我投入

of effort in to do my best and make this year successful. I’ve spent hours and hours of

大量心血，將事情做到最好，得以達成今年的目標，我每天花了許多時間

my day designing lesson plan templates and making sure classes run smoothly, but I’ve

設計課程計畫範本，以及確保課程進行是否順利，但我卻

barely gotten a word of praise from the team I’m working with. I know that’s superficial

很少被團隊中一起共事的人稱讚，我知道，想一直被稱讚，這聽起來未免

to wanna be constantly praised, but I feel demotivated at this point. Am I on the wrong

有點膚淺，但我那時候真的非常沮喪，我是不是哪裡做錯了？

track? Why is my hard work not being appreciated? A bucket of love, Nishala.”

為什麼我的努力沒能讓人賞識呢？獻上無限的愛與祝福，妮莎拉」

Nishala, this was a great question but there is something I wanna point out to you. Unlike

妮莎拉，妳問的問題非常好，不過有件事我就直接開門見山告訴妳了，就是

many of our other readers, I noticed you didn't start off with any praise for mua.

其他讀者都會先讚美我一番，而「妳」卻沒有

Very interesting.

妳還真大膽啊

Now, I am totally playing with you, girl. Nishala, we know you write us a ton and you’re

好啦，跟妳開個小玩笑啦，妮莎拉，我們知道妳寫了很多讚美我們的話，也常對我們

always expressing gratitude and my point here isn’t that you should praise me, it’s

表示謝意，我的重點當然不是叫妳應該讚美我，而是

just that sometimes it doesn't occur to us to always do it. I mean, all of us forget

有時候我們常常忘記應該多做這件事，我的意思是，我們有時候會很健忘

from time to time because when we see someone who is good at what they do we think they

因為我們看有些人在某些方面很優秀時，會覺得他們應該

don't need to hear it or they know it already, so why bother? But the truth is that all

不會想再聽到讚美，或他們早就習以為常了，所以何必自討苦吃呢？但事實上

of us can relate to craving more praise and not getting it so I wanna share three things

我們都明白，人都渴望能獲得更多讚美，但總是可遇不可求，所以我有3大重點要分享給你們

that I think will really help.

相信這對你們會很有幫助

Number one, the big cheese often gets little praise. What, no love?

第一，領導人物往往得到最少的讚美，怎樣，你以為我就不需要愛嗎？ (譯註: 此處big cheese是指一個企業中的中心領導人物，而非指起司)

So whether it’s right or wrong, most people just assume that the boss doesn't really need

不管你認同與否，大多數人都認為大老闆不太需要

any praise. They assume it’s the boss’s job to work really hard and to be amazing,

任何讚美，他們認為老闆的使命就是努力工作，還有為之驚人

and as the head of your department you are seen as the boss. And I know you’re working

妳說妳目前擔任部門主管，那麼看來妳就是這位中心領導人物，我知道妳在工作時

your butt off and you’re doing a great job, but your team may just assume you’re doing

費盡心血，這真的非常棒，但妳的團隊可能是覺得，妳之所以有辦法做這些事情

that because you’re awesome. They don't give you praise because it just doesn't occur

是因為妳真的非常優秀，他們沒讚美妳，只是剛好他們沒有想到

to them. Now, I know this doesn't solve your problem, but just remember just because you’re

要這麼做，我知道這樣聽起來還是沒有解決妳的問題，但請妳謹記，只因為妳沒備受賞識

not getting acknowledgment doesn't mean that people don't appreciate you.

或讚美肯定，這並不代表大家不懂妳的才能

Number two is be the praise fairy. So the best thing to do in any area of life when you feel

第二，現在就開始當個讚美小天使吧，不管在哪個生活圈，只要妳覺得好像

like you’re lacking something is to give to others that which you feel that you lack.

欠缺了什麼東西，最好的辦法就是從自己開始做起，讓它感染周遭的人事物

So in your case this is all about praise and appreciation. So I want you to become the

所以就妳的情況來說，所需要的就是讚美與賞識，因此我希望妳能開始成為一位

appreciation fairy.

讚美小天使

Marie, you have the best ideas. Where do you come up with these ideas?

瑪莉，妳想的點子都超級讚，妳怎麼能常有那麼多的好點子？

And I mean, that outfit. What is that? Is that a jumpsuit?

而且，哇嗚，妳身上穿的那是什麼？最時尚的連身衣嗎？

Damn girl! I appreciate you. Have a little appreciation dust.

妳美翻了！我很欣賞妳，來點欣賞粉末吧

Now, look, you're not giving praise in order to get it back. You wanna be the gift that

現在仔細聽囉，你不是因為想獲得讚美才去讚美別人，而是你變成你自己也想收到

you want to receive. Now, if you haven’t seen our episode about appreciation languages

的那份禮物，如果你還沒看過我們之前有關「教你如何在工作場合讚美他人」

in the workplace, you’d better watch it. It’s right here. And then you want to get

的影片，最好去看看吧，連結放在畫面旁邊囉，或許你還會想買一本

yourself the book The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Mr. Gary Chapman. It’s

蓋瑞．巧門先生寫的「從讚賞開始，改變你的職場關係」來看 (譯註: 此書英文版於2011發行，2014年繁體中文翻譯版發行)

amazing and it’ll change your life and the life of your team.

這本書真的很神奇，它會改變你的人生，以及整個團隊

Number three is start a praise posse. Now, this is something really simple and you can

第三，組成一個吹捧兵團，這其實相當簡單，在工作之外

do this outside of work and you only need one person to get started. It’s a concept

也適用，而且只需要1個同伴就能開始進行，這其實是源自於「吹牛」

called bragging and I learned it from my friend Regina Thomashauer. It’s brilliant. So rather

的概念，也是從我朋友雷吉娜．托馬蕭爾身上學到的，這招真的很神！所以與其

than spending your time complaining about work or how crappy everything is or how people

浪費時間在抱怨你的工作、所有事情都爛透了，又或是大家都把你做的事

take you for granted, you wanna flip that around and start bragging about all the incredible

視為理所當然，不妨轉個心境，開始吹捧所有你創造出來的

things that you’re creating. You’re really acknowledging yourself and acknowledging what

美好事物，這能讓你肯定自我，肯定所有你為這個世界

you’re putting out into the world. So, for example, if you and I were doing this together,

貢獻的事情，打個比方來說，我和妳一起互相讚揚

Nishala, you would say to me, “Marie, I brag that this week I created the most amazing

妮莎拉，妳會跟我說:「瑪莉，我覺得自己這禮拜為我們班寫的範本

templates for my classroom.” And then I would say, “You know what? That’s awesome,

真的是宇宙無敵讚」，我就會說:「真的假的，那真的是太棒了

girl. You know, those 60 teachers are gonna feel so much more confident and that confidence

妳知道嗎，那60位老師教學信心一定會大增，而這樣的自信心

is going to be passed onto their kids, which is gonna impact generations to come.” By

也會傳染給他們的孩子們，甚至影響他們未來世代的子孫」，對了

the way, I mean every single word I just said, so great job. And if you love this idea of

我剛剛說的每一句話都是真的喔，所以妳真的做得很棒啦，如果你們喜歡互相吹捧

bragging you should really check out my friend Regina’s work because it’s awesome.

這樣的點子，你們還真應該去看看我朋友雷吉娜的網站，真的非常棒

Now, before we wrap up I want you to remember this. Do not get too praise dependent because

好啦，在節目進入尾聲之前，我希望你們記住這點，別太依賴讚美，這是因為

attaching too much importance to external praise actually makes you more vulnerable

太過在乎外在的讚美與掌聲，這也容易讓你在受到他人批評時

to harsh criticism from others too. I want you to keep doing an awesome job, keep doing

變得格外脆弱，我希望你們繼續努力目前的事業，凡事都盡力

your best, and practice being your own source of internal validation.

做到最好，並且培養自我肯定的那股支持來源

Alrighty Nishala, that was my A to your Q, I really hope it helps. Now I would love to

好啦，妮莎拉，以上就是針對妳提出的問題，提供的回覆，希望真的能幫助到妳，現在我想聽聽看

hear from you. You know, genuine appreciation is a gift that makes all of us feel great,

你們的意見，你們知道嗎，深入心坎裡的讚美，是能讓所有人都感到快樂的禮物

so I would love to know who are three people that you genuinely appreciate and why. Tell

所以我想知道哪3個人是你想給予最真誠的讚美，原因是什麼，說說看

me about it in the comments below and, more importantly, go tell them. And if you think

並在底下留言，還有別忘了最重要的，親口告訴他們，如果你認為

they’d feel great seeing their name in print, why don't you write a great comment, send

他們看到自己的名字在上面會更高興，何不將你的留言寫好之後，

those people a link to this page, and tell them to scroll down to your name.

把這個網址的連結寄給他們，並且告訴他們往下滑到有你名字的那一頁呢？

As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, so go

如往常一樣，每一集結束後，MarieForleo.com網站裡都會出現熱烈的討論，所以現在

there and leave a comment now.

就請你到網站上留下你的想法吧！

Did you like this video? If so, subscribe to our channel and we would be so appreciative

你喜歡這一集影片嗎？如果喜歡，請你訂閱我們的頻道，若能將這部影片分享給

if you shared this video with your friends. And if you want even more awesome resources

你朋友的話，那當然是再好不過了。如果你想要更多超讚的資源去創造你

to create a business and life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I

熱愛的事業及生活，或者想要我只會在email裡提到的

only talk about in email, come on over to MarieForleo.com and sign up for email updates.

個人洞見的話，那就來MarieForleo.com網站，並且註冊以利收到電子報的通知

Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special

繼續闖蕩你的事業，並繼續朝著你的夢想邁進，因為這世界正需要

gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.

你那獨一無二的天賦。非常感謝你的收看，我們下回再於Marie TV上見囉！