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Today I want to talk to you about the mathematics of love.
今天我想要和大家談談關於愛情的數學。
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Now, I think that we can all agree
我想大家都同意
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that mathematicians are famously excellent at finding love.
數學家在尋找真愛上特別在行。
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But it's not just because of our dashing personalities,
但那並不只是因為我們精力充沛的性格、
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superior conversational skills and excellent pencil cases.
超凡的對話技巧,和炫麗的筆盒。
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It's also because we've actually done an awful lot of work into the maths
也是因為我們真的花了許多時間精力在數學上,
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of how to find the perfect partner.
計算如何找到完美的伴侶。
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Now, in my favorite paper on the subject, which is entitled,
現在,在此學科中我最愛的論文,名為
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"Why I Don't Have a Girlfriend" -- (Laughter) --
「為甚麼我沒有女友」(笑聲)
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Peter Backus tries to rate his chances of finding love.
Peter Backus 試著計算他尋得真愛的機會。
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Now, Peter's not a very greedy man.
現在,Peter 不是一個非常貪心的人。
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Of all of the available women in the U.K.,
在英國所有適宜的女性對象中,
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all Peter's looking for is somebody who lives near him,
Peter 所看的,就只是那個住在他附近的對象、
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somebody in the right age range,
某個處於適宜的年齡階段的女人、
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somebody with a university degree,
某個擁有大學文憑、
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somebody he's likely to get on well with,
某個他很有可能相處地不錯的對象、
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somebody who's likely to be attractive,
某個有魅力的女子,
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somebody who's likely to find him attractive.
以及......某個認為他也富有魅力的對象。
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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And comes up with an estimate of 26 women in the whole of the UK.
結果他估計在全英國大概有 26 位此類女性。
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It's not looking very good, is it Peter?
這看來很不妙,不是嗎,Peter?
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Now, just to put that into perspective,
我們好好思考一下這件事,
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that's about 400 times fewer than the best estimates
在無數聰明外星生命形式存在的情況下,
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of how many intelligent extraterrestrial life forms there are.
那是少於 400 倍數的估計呀。
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And it also gives Peter a 1 in 285,000 chance
那也給了 Peter 一個
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of bumping into any one of these special ladies
在某晚遇見一個特別的女子
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on a given night out.
28 萬 5 千之 1 的機會。
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I'd like to think that's why mathematicians
我想,那就是為什麼數學家
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don't really bother going on nights out anymore.
不再怎麼想晚上出去約會了的原因了吧。
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The thing is that I personally
重點是,我個人其實並不同意
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don't subscribe to such a pessimistic view.
這種悲觀的看法,
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Because I know, just as well as all of you do,
因為我知道,如同你們所有所知道的,
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that love doesn't really work like that.
愛情並不是這樣發生的。
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Human emotion isn't neatly ordered and rational and easily predictable.
人類的情感不是那樣地秩序井然、乾淨利落、邏輯清晰,和容易預測。
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But I also know that that doesn't mean
但我也知道那並不意謂著
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that mathematics hasn't got something that it can offer us
數學無法提供幫助,
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because, love, as with most of life, is full of patterns
因為愛情,如同生命中多數的事物一般,充斥著許多規律,
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and mathematics is, ultimately, all about the study of patterns.
而數學最終就是那研究規律的學說。
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Patterns from predicting the weather to the fluctuations in the stock market,
從預測天候,到預測股票市場的開高走低,
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to the movement of the planets or the growth of cities.
到星球的運轉,或都市的發展。
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And if we're being honest, none of those things
如果我們對自己誠實的話,上述那些東西,沒有一個是
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are exactly neatly ordered and easily predictable, either.
井然有序以及容易預測的。
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Because I believe that mathematics is so powerful that it has the potential
因為我相信,數學的力量非常強大,以至於它讓我們得以以新方法
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to offer us a new way of looking at almost anything.
重新看待任何事物。
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Even something as mysterious as love.
就算是和愛情一般神秘的東西也是。
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And so, to try to persuade you
為了試著說服你們
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of how totally amazing, excellent and relevant mathematics is,
數學的神妙用處,
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I want to give you my top three mathematically verifiable tips for love.
我想要給大家三個最重要的在數學上可以驗證的愛情秘訣。
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Okay, so Top Tip #1:
好,首先最重要的秘技一:
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How to win at online dating.
如何贏得線上交友的機會。
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So my favorite online dating website is OkCupid,
我最愛的線上交友網站是 OkCupid(網站名:好吧,丘比特),
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not least because it was started by a group of mathematicians.
這並不僅僅因為這網站是由一群數學家所架設的。
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Now, because they're mathematicians,
因為他們是數學家,
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they have been collecting data
他們已經蒐集了
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on everybody who uses their site for almost a decade.
近乎這十年來所有該網站使用者的資料。
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And they've been trying to search for patterns
他們試著尋找
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in the way that we talk about ourselves
我們在線上
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and the way that we interact with each other
談論自己的方式的模式,
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on an online dating website.
以及我們和他人互動的模式。
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And they've come up with some seriously interesting findings.
他們發現了一些重要的有趣結果。
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But my particular favorite
但我特別喜歡的結果之一是
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is that it turns out that on an online dating website,
在線上交友網站上
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how attractive you are does not dictate how popular you are,
你的魅力程度並無法預測你的受歡迎程度,
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and actually, having people think that you're ugly
事實上,讓人們覺得你很醜
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can work to your advantage.
可以讓你擁有優勢。
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Let me show you how this works.
讓我向各位展示這是怎麼一回事。
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In a thankfully voluntary section of OkCupid,
在 OkCupid 的一個自願欄目中,
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you are allowed to rate how attractive you think people are
你可以評價人們的魅力值,
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on a scale between 1 and 5.
從 1 到 5 。
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Now, if we compare this score, the average score,
現在,如果我們比較這個分數,平均分數,
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to how many messages a selection of people receive,
有多少人收到訊息,
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you can begin to get a sense
你就可以開始理解
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of how attractiveness links to popularity on an online dating website.
在一個線上約會網站上魅力指數與受歡迎程度有關。
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This is the graph that the OkCupid guys have come up with.
這是 OkCupid 得到的圖表。
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And the important thing to notice is that it's not totally true
一件重要的值得注意的事是
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that the more attractive you are, the more messages you get.
並不是越有魅力的人,收到的訊息越多。
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But the question arises then of what is it about people up here
問題是,為什麼上面的這些人
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who are so much more popular than people down here,
比下面這些人要受歡迎得多,
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even though they have the same score of attractiveness?
即便他們都有相同的魅力值?
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And the reason why is that it's not just straightforward looks that are important.
原因是,並不是直觀的外貌是重要的。
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So let me try to illustrate their findings with an example.
讓我來談談他們的發現,以一個案例說明。
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So if you take someone like Portia de Rossi, for example,
如果你拿 Portia de Rossi 為例,
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everybody agrees that Portia de Rossi is a very beautiful woman.
每個人都同意 Portia de Rossi 是個非常美麗的女人,
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Nobody thinks that she's ugly, but she's not a supermodel, either.
沒有人覺得她醜,但她也不是超級名模。
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If you compare Portia de Rossi to someone like Sarah Jessica Parker,
如果你拿某個人,比如Sarah Jessica Parker(譯注:慾望城市女主角)來和她比較
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now, a lot of people, myself included, I should say,
許多人,包括我自己,我應該會說,
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think that Sarah Jessica Parker is seriously fabulous
Sarah Jessica Parker 魅力極為出眾,
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and possibly one of the most beautiful creatures
有可能是地表上
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to have ever have walked on the face of the Earth.
最美麗的物種之一。
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But some other people, i.e., most of the Internet,
但許多其他人,比如,大多數的網友
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seem to think that she looks a bit like a horse. (Laughter)
似乎都認為她看起來像馬。(笑聲)
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Now, I think that if you ask people how attractive they thought
如果你問人們他們覺得自己有多美,
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Sarah Jessica Parker or Portia de Rossi were,
Sarah Jessica Parker 或 Portia de Rossi
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and you ask them to give them a score between 1 and 5,
你要他們給自己打分,從 1 到 5,
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I reckon that they'd average out to have roughly the same score.
我猜他們也會大約給一個和大家都差不多的數字。
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But the way that people would vote would be very different.
但是人們投票的方式各自不同。
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So Portia's scores would all be clustered around the 4
因此 Portia 的分數會聚集在 4 分左右,
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because everybody agrees that she's very beautiful,
因為所有人都同意,她非常美麗,
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whereas Sarah Jessica Parker completely divides opinion.
然而人們對 Sarah Jessica Parker卻有截然不同的意見。
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There'd be a huge spread in her scores.
她的分差懸殊很大。
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And actually it's this spread that counts.
然而事實上,就是那分差別具意義,
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It's this spread that makes you more popular
那差異讓你
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on an online Internet dating website.
在交友網站上受歡迎。
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So what that means then
所以那意味著
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is that if some people think that you're attractive,
如果有些人認為你別具魅力,
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you're actually better off
你最好有其他人認為
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having some other people think that you're a massive minger.
你很醜。
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That's much better than everybody just thinking
那遠優於所有人認為
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that you're the cute girl next door.
你是鄰家的可愛女孩。
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Now, I think this begins makes a bit more sense
當你們開始思考一下這些寄送訊息的人的話,
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when you think in terms of the people who are sending these messages.
這開始變得合理些了。
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So let's say that you think somebody's attractive,
這麼說吧,假設你認為那個人很美,
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but you suspect that other people won't necessarily be that interested.
但你同時猜想其他人並不會和你有同樣的審美觀。
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That means there's less competition for you
那就意味著,你的競爭對手略少,
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and it's an extra incentive for you to get in touch.
這就給你增加了額外的動機去與他/她認識。
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Whereas compare that to if you think somebody is attractive
與之相對的情況是,你認為某人很有吸引力,
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but you suspect that everybody is going to think they're attractive.
但你猜想所有其他的人都認為那人很有吸引力,
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Well, why would you bother humiliating yourself, let's be honest?
嗯,讓我們面對事實為什麼要自取其辱呢?
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Here's where the really interesting part comes.
這就是最有趣的部分。
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Because when people choose the pictures that they use on an online dating website,
因為當人們去選擇他們在交友網站上使用的照片時,
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they often try to minimize the things
他們總是試圖最小化
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that they think some people will find unattractive.
其他人認為不吸引人之處的可能性。
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The classic example is people who are, perhaps, a little bit overweight
最經典的例子是,那些體重略重的人
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deliberately choosing a very cropped photo,
故意選擇一個剪裁非常不正確的照片,
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or bald men, for example,
例如那些禿頭的男士,
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deliberately choosing pictures where they're wearing hats.
故意去選擇他們帶著帽子的照片。
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But actually this is the opposite of what you should do
但你的行為是與你的目標相悖的,
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if you want to be successful.
如果你想要在網上交友成功。
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You should really, instead, play up to whatever it is that makes you different,
你真的應該,去選擇讓你看起來與眾不同的照片,
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even if you think that some people will find it unattractive.
即便你認為某些人會對此失去興趣。
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Because the people who fancy you are just going to fancy you anyway,
因為那些喜歡你的人無論如何都會去喜歡你,
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and the unimportant losers who don't, well, they only play up to your advantage.
而那些不重要的路人只是渲染你的優勢。
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Okay, Top Tip #2: How to pick the perfect partner.
好了,最高秘訣 2 號:如何選擇完美的伴侶。
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So let's imagine then that you're a roaring success
讓我們想像你的約會
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on the dating scene.
精彩成功,
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But the question arises of how do you then convert that success
但問題來了你如何將那成功的約會
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into longer-term happiness and in particular,
轉變成長期的幸福,尤其是,
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how do you decide when is the right time to settle down?
你要如何選擇在哪個時刻安定下來?
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Now generally, it's not advisable to just cash in
一般來說,並不建議人們立刻
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and marry the first person who comes along
與第一個出現
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and shows you any interest at all.
對你表達好感的人結婚。
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But, equally, you don't really want to leave it too long
但是,一般來說,如果你想要最大化你未來數十年幸福婚姻的機會,
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if you want to maximize your chance of long-term happiness.
你也不願等待太久。
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As my favorite author, Jane Austen, puts it,
我最喜歡的作家珍.奧斯汀這樣說:
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"An unmarried woman of seven and twenty
「一個未婚的 27 歲女子
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can never hope to feel or inspire affection again."
就別指望再能感受或觸動愛情了。」
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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Thanks a lot, Jane. What do you know about love?
這太嚴重了,珍,你對愛瞭解多少呢?
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So the question is then,
那麼問題來了,
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how do you know when is the right time to settle down
你怎麼知道哪個時刻是該要安定下來的時刻,
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given all the people that you can date in your lifetime?
畢竟生命中你有很多可能的對象?
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Thankfully, there's a rather delicious bit of mathematics that we can use
幸好,我們可以運用一點數學
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to help us out here, called optimal stopping theory.
來幫助我們計算解決這個問題,這理論名叫 「最優停止理論」。
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So let's imagine then,
那麼讓我們來想像一下,
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that you start dating when you're 15
你在 15 歲的時候開始交往,
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and ideally, you'd like to be married by the time that you're 35.
理想狀態下,你在 35 歲的時候會結婚。
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And there's a number of people
你的人生中
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that you could potentially date across your lifetime,
有很多潛在的約會對象,
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and they'll be at varying levels of goodness.
他們都有各自的優點。
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Now the rules are that once you cash in and get married,
規則是,你一旦跳進婚姻,
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you can't look ahead to see what you could have had,
你就不能繼續前進尋找你可能可以有的對象,
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and equally, you can't go back and change your mind.
你也不能回頭來改變你的主意。
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In my experience at least,
我個人的經驗看來,
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I find that typically people don't much like being recalled
一般人們不希望
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years after being passed up for somebody else, or that's just me.
在被拒絕又過了多年後被找回來,也許只有我這樣想。
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So the math says then that what you should do
數學告訴我們
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in the first 37 percent of your dating window,
你應該拒絕認為會和在你人生約會週期
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you should just reject everybody as serious marriage potential.
前 37% 時段出現的任何人有嚴肅認真的婚姻關係。
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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And then, you should pick the next person that comes along
接著,你要選擇下一個人,
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that is better than everybody that you've seen before.
那個比你以前約會對象都好的人。
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So here's the example.
這裡舉個例子。
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Now if you do this, it can be mathematically proven, in fact,
如果你這麼做,從數學證明來看可以認為,事實上
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that this is the best possible way
這可能是最好的選擇
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of maximizing your chances of finding the perfect partner.
來最大化你找到完美伴侶的機會。
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Now unfortunately, I have to tell you that this method does come with some risks.
現在不幸的是,我必須告訴你這個方法也是有風險的。
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For instance, imagine if your perfect partner appeared
比如,想像一下,假設你的完美伴侶
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during your first 37 percent.
出現在你約會歷程的前 37%
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Now, unfortunately, you'd have to reject them.
那就很不幸了,你會拒絕他們。
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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Now, if you're following the maths,
如果你相信數學,
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I'm afraid no one else comes along
恐怕你不會再找到
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that's better than anyone you've seen before,
比你以往見過更好的對象,
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so you have to go on rejecting everyone and die alone.
你就會持續拒絕每個人然後孤獨終老。
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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Probably surrounded by cats nibbling at your remains.
可能會被貓咪包圍一點點啃食你的遺骸。
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Okay, another risk is, let's imagine, instead,
好,另一個風險是,讓我們想像,相反的,
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that the first people that you dated in your first 37 percent
你約會歷程前 37% 裡第一個對象
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are just incredibly dull, boring, terrible people.
極度愚蠢、無聊又很糟糕。
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Now, that's okay, because you're in your rejection phase,
沒關係,因為你還處於拒絕對象的階段,
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so thats fine, you can reject them.
沒問題,你可以拒絕他們。
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But then imagine, the next person to come along
但想像一下,下一個出現的人
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is just marginally less boring, dull and terrible
只是沒那麼無聊、愚蠢,
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than everybody that you've seen before.
比你以前的對象都略好那麼一點。
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Now, if you are following the maths, I'm afraid you have to marry them
如果你遵循數學,恐怕你要和他們結婚
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and end up in a relationship which is, frankly, suboptimal.
然後沈浸在一段,實話說,次優的關係中。
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Sorry about that.
很抱歉。
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But I do think that there's an opportunity here
但我認為,機會還是有的
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for Hallmark to cash in on and really cater for this market.
賀曼公司迎合市場需求
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A Valentine's Day card like this. (Laughter)
出售這樣的情人節賀卡。(笑聲)
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"My darling husband, you are marginally less terrible
「我親愛的丈夫,你沒有
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than the first 37 percent of people I dated."
我約會歷程中前 37% 的男士那麼糟糕。」
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It's actually more romantic than I normally manage.
這比一般的賀卡浪漫很多。
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Okay, so this method doesn't give you a 100 percent success rate,
這個數學方法不能保證100% 的成功率,
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but there's no other possible strategy that can do any better.
但也沒有更好的策略了。
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And actually, in the wild, there are certain types
事實上,在動物界,某個特定種類的魚
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of fish which follow and employ this exact strategy.
遵循使用這樣的策略。
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So they reject every possible suitor that turns up
在交配期,牠們拒絕
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in the first 37 percent of the mating season,
出現在前 37% 的每個求婚者,
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and then they pick the next fish that comes along after that window
接著牠們選擇 37% 後出現的下一個
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that's, I don't know, bigger and burlier
比所見過的魚
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than all of the fish that they've seen before.
體型更加龐大,更加結實的魚。
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I also think that subconsciously, humans, or we do sort of do this anyway.
我想作為人類我們潛意識裡也在做同樣的選擇。
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We have to give ourselves a little bit of time to play the field,
我們給自己更多時間尋找,
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get a feel for the marketplace or whatever when we're young.
在我們年輕的時候感受婚戀市場。
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And then we only start looking seriously at potential marriage candidates
我們只有在 20 歲年齡段的中後期
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once we hit our mid-to-late 20s.
才會很真尋找潛在的結婚對象。
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I think this is conclusive proof, if ever it were needed,
我想這證明了,即使不確定是否需要,
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that everybody's brains are prewired to be just a little bit mathematical.
每個人的大腦都預配了點數學能力。
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Okay, so that was Top Tip #2.
好,上述就是最高秘訣 2 號。
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Now, Top Tip #3: How to avoid divorce.
現在,最高秘訣 3 號:如何避免離婚。
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Okay, so let's imagine then that you picked your perfect partner
好的,讓我們想像一下你找到了你的完美對象,
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and you're settling into a lifelong relationship with them.
你和他/她進入了一生的婚姻關係。
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Now, I like to think that everybody would ideally like to avoid divorce,
我假設每個人都不希望離婚,
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apart from, I don't know, Piers Morgan's wife, maybe?
當然,也許除了 Piers Morgan 的太太?
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But it's a sad fact of modern life
可是,現代婚姻一個悲傷的事實
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that 1 in 2 marriages in the States ends in divorce,
就是美國離婚率高達 50%,
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with the rest of the world not being far behind.
世界其他國家也離這個數據不遠。
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Now, you can be forgiven, perhaps
當然,你可以認為
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for thinking that the arguments that precede a marital breakup
婚姻破裂的原因
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are not an ideal candidate for mathematical investigation.
不是數學運算理想的數據源。
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For one thing, it's very hard to know
一方面來說,很難瞭解到