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It's easy as a coach to give praise and advice.
當在指導他人時,給予稱讚及建議是容易的。
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But it's much more difficult giving feedback that would be viewed as negative, critical or non-affirming.
但困難的是去提供可能被認知為負面、有批評性的或不肯定的意見。
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For example, imagine you have a colleague who while being skilled at their job work isn't liked interpersonally by many people at work.
舉例來說,想像你有位工作能力很強的同事,但在人際關係上卻不受歡迎。
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But they're completely unaware of it. This leads to them to attempt to over invest in interacting with certain colleagues.
但他們對此完全沒有警覺心。這導致他們過度努力的去嘗試跟特定的同事們互動。
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When in fact, they should be interacting less, or trying to actually address any damage they may have inadvertently created.
事實上,他們應該少互動,或者試著講說開只見因為無心而造成的誤會。
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Let's imagine you are their boss, and you two have a good relationship.
想像你是他們的老闆,而你們有著良好的關係。
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You watch them unintentionally rub others the wrong way for months.
你看著他們無意間用錯誤的方法持續著互動了一個月。
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They're unaware of it. And you need to intervene. What do you do?
他們都未察覺到,而你必須介入。你會怎麼做?
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Here are few thoughts that might help. First, schedule a meeting in private.
這邊有幾個可能帶來幫助的意見。首先,規劃一個私人的會議。
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Actually putting the meeting on the books formally elevate the importance of the discussion.
實際的把這次會議正式的放在議程表裡可以提高討論的重要性。
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Don't tell them why you wish to chat. Just tell them you have some performance ideas about the group you'll like discuss.
別告訴他們為什麼你希望找他們談話。只要告訴他們你想要討論一些關於團隊表現的想法。
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When the meeting begins, get to the point and be specific.
當會議開始時,直接詳細的說出重點。
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Name the behaviour, it might be coarse language or condescension in arrogance, or tendency to speak far too personally causing others to feel uncomfortable.
列舉特定行為,可能是粗俗用語、傲慢無禮、或過度傾向於討論私事會導致其他人覺得不舒服。
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Whatever it is, describe it clearly. Now unless you receive permission to do so, you don't name names.
不論這是什是,形容清楚。但除非你得到允許,別指出名字。
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You own the situation and tell them this conversation is based on your observations across several instances.
你可以控制局面並告訴他們這次談論是由你在多次事件觀察中而衍生的。
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Then it's often useful to talk about the perception gap that exists between what we think about ourselves and what other actually think about us.
然後談論我們對自我和他人實際對我們之間的想法差異通常會對這種談話帶來幫助。
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Tell them you know they aren't doing this intentionally.
告訴他們你知道他們並不是故意這樣做。
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And try offering an example of a time that you fell prey to this perception gap.
然後試著提供一個你陷入想法差異窘況的範例。
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So they can know you're trying to be helpful, not accusatory.
他們便會了解你是在嘗試幫忙,而不是在質責。
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Finally, you'd want to offer a small bit of advice they might find useful moving forward.
最後,你應該要提供一些能使他們在未來受用的建議。
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I am thinking specifically of conversation related advice. What you said depends on their issue.
我是指關於對話特定建議。你提供什麼則是以他們的情況來判定。
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But you might talk about how often to speak with someone.
但你也可以討論到應該多常跟他人對話?
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What is acceptable, or not acceptable in terms of personal topics.
什麼是可以接受的,不能接受的私人話題。
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Why they should let other initiate conversation more often?
為什麼應該要讓他人展開交流?
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What it means to have a concise and focused exchange, and so on.
簡潔又跟明確的交流代表什麼意義?
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To wrap up, thank them and remind them you see strong value in their work.
總結時,可以感謝他們並告訴他們你曉得他們的工作能力。
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Be sure to follow up at least once a few weeks later to see if they've made any progress or if they have any additional questions you might answer.
記得數周過後至少再追蹤一次,看看他們有沒有任何進展,或有任何其他你可以回答的問題。
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In the end, conversations like this one are difficult, but they are worth it.
最後,像這樣的對話是困難的,但很值得。
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This person needs your advice. And the team deserves a more consciously aware colleague.
這個人需要你的建議。而這個團隊也應該有一個更加有警覺意識的同事。