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  • Cheese.

    來笑一個。

  • Oh my God, you guys are so Asian right now.

    我的媽呀!你們現在看起來真的很亞洲人。

  • I'm gonna be Asian too.

    那我也不要輸給你們。

  • So where are you from?

    那你是哪裡人?

  • I'm from Texas.

    我家在德克薩斯州。

  • No, I mean like where are your parents from?

    喔,我的意思是說父母從哪裡來 ?

  • You know, you're pretty tall for an Asian.

    你知道嗎,在亞洲人裡面你算高的了

  • Oh, they're from Korea.

    他們是韓國來的。

  • Where are your parents from?

    那你呢?

  • Michigan.

    密西根。

  • No, where are your parents' ancestors from?

    我是說你父母親的祖先從哪來啦。

  • I don't know, like Europe?

    我不清楚,我想歐洲吧 ?

  • I just wanted to introduce you to Eugene over here.

    跟你介紹一下 Eugene。

  • Eugene, say hi to Stacy.

    Eugene,跟 Stacy 打聲招呼吧 !

  • Hi Stacy.

    Stacy 妳好。

  • Yeah, well Stacy's really into Asian guys so I figured it'd be a nice...

    Stacy 其實是亞洲控所以我想你們可以......

  • It is so nice to finally meet your girlfriend!

    很高興終於見到你女友了!

  • Yeah, so me and my friend were at 99 Ranch and...

    所以,後來我和我的朋友就去大華 (市場) 去了......

  • What's 99 Ranch?

    大華是? (美國十大連鎖超級市場之一,販賣很多的亞洲食品)

  • Actually, I'm his sister.

    其實我是他姊姊/妹妹。

  • Yeah, this is my girlfriend.

    對啊,這才是我女友。

  • You don't know what 99 Ranch is?

    大華你會不知道 ?

  • Oh, it's that new bar, right?

    是新的酒吧,對吧 ?

  • Oh, such a banana.

    真是西化得很徹底呀! (外黃裡白,指西化黃種人)

  • So anyways, yeah.

    算了算了。

  • Um, I don't speak Mandarin, do you?

    抱歉,我不會說中文耶,妳會嗎?

  • No, sorry.

    不會,抱歉。

  • So you're Chinese.

    你是來自中國的華人囉 ?

  • Taiwanese, actually.

    是臺灣才對。

  • You speak Cantonese.

    那你會說廣東話。

  • Mandarin.

    我說的是中文。

  • You know my cousin's wife is Oriental.

    我表/堂兄弟的太太也是東方人。

  • Ah, so she's a rug.

    你以為他是一張地毯嗎。

  • Are you North or South Korean?

    是北韓還南韓?

  • South.

    南韓囉 !

  • How can you tell?

    你怎麼知道的 ?

  • Because I'm not trapped in North Korea.

    因為我沒有被困在北韓出不來啊。

  • No, she's from the Orient.

    不,她是從東方諸國來的。

  • The Orient, ah, so we're in the 1950's right now.

    「東方諸國」,你以為我們還在 1950 年代嗎 ?

  • I'd be the Red Ranger.

    我要當紅色巡守員。

  • I'd be the Blue Ranger.

    那我要藍色的。

  • You're the Yellow Ranger!

    你就當「黃」的吧 !

  • How do I change this setting?

    要怎麼改設定 ?

  • Are you serious?

    你真的不知道 ?

  • Yeah, I just got this phone.

    對啊,我才剛買這支手機。

  • You're like a bad Asian.

    你這樣會對不起亞洲人喔。

  • So my mom was like (with Korean accent) "Eugene"

    我媽這樣叫我「Eugene,」(韓國人口音)

  • "Why are you so skinny?"

    「你是不是都沒吃飽 ?」

  • You can say that?

    她真的這樣說 ?

  • That feels like a little bit racist.

    這樣感覺有點種族歧視耶。

  • I mean it's...

    我不是這個意思......

  • Were your parents upset that you wanted to go into entertainment?

    你的父母支持你進演藝圈嗎 ?

  • Of course! 'Cause I'm Asian you think that my parents want me to be a doctor or a lawyer or engineer.

    所以,你覺得因為我是亞洲人,所以我父母親要我當醫生、律師或工程師嗎 ?

  • OK, that's like a little racist, but it's cool.

    好吧!是有點刻板印象啦!但是很經典。

  • So she was like (with Korean accent) "Oh, Eugene..."

    所以她是這麼說:「噢!Eugene......」

  • No, no, you can't do it though.

    妳不行,只有我可以這樣做。

  • Oh, OK, fair.

    好、好,你說了算。

  • Oh, I wasn't trying to be offensive, it's good that they're cool with it, though.

    我不是故意要攻擊你,他們支持你很好啊。

  • Nah, they wanted me to be a doctor.

    哪有 ! 他們希望我當醫生。

  • Take a selfie with me.

    我們來自拍吧 !

  • Yeah Mom, that was my new girlfriend.

    媽,她是我新女友。

  • Uh no, she's not Korean.

    她不是韓國人。

  • I'm so glad I have minority friends.

    我很高興有「少數族群」的朋友。

  • All my pictures are with White people.

    我一堆照片都是白人。

  • Uh, you know, technically Asians are the majority.

    你應該要知道,亞洲人不是少數族群。

  • There are literally billions of us in the world.

    這世界上有幾十億的人口。

  • Oh, OK, smile!

    我了解了,笑一個 !

  • Oh my God, I love that new HBO show.

    我好愛那部新的 HBO 影集。

  • It's so diverse.

    充滿了多樣性。

  • Yeah, there are no Asians on it.

    嗯,但是都沒有出現亞洲面孔。

  • Hey Eugene, what's 28 times 72?

    Eugene, 28 乘以 72 是多少 ?

  • Yeah, but there are two Black people!

    不過有兩個黑人呀 !

  • And an Asian receptionist.

    還有一位亞洲接待員。

  • I don't know, it's like 1,500.

    不知道,應該是 1500 吧 !

  • OK, thanks.

    知道了 ! 謝謝

  • Are we all in the frame?

    我們有被切到嗎 ?

  • Yeah, you're on, you're all in.

    沒有,你在上面;你們都在鏡頭面。

  • I just had this thought.

    我突然有個想法。

  • If we had a baby together,

    如果我和他有小孩,

  • it would be the most beautiful half-Asian baby in the entire world.

    那會是世界上最可愛的亞洲混血寶寶了 !

  • Right?

    對吧 ?

  • Yes, definitely.

    是的,沒錯。

  • It would totally be half Asian.

    恰好一半的亞洲人。

  • Dude, in general half-Asian people are the most beautiful.

    老兄,亞洲混血真的最可愛了。

  • Oh my God, I had the best pho last night.

    我昨晚吃到史上最好吃的「呵」粉。

  • You mean pho.

    你是說河粉吧 ?

  • Yeah, pho.

    對呀!「呵」粉啊。

  • Hey Eugene, I saw your "Awkward Moments Only Asians Understand" vid.

    Eugene,我看到你「只有亞洲人才懂的那些尷尬時刻!」的影片了。

  • As an Indian, where was the rest of Asia?

    我是印度人,你影片裡好像沒有這部分的亞洲?

  • I went with my girlfriend Tammy Nguyen, do you know her?

    我和我女友 Tammy Nguyen 去的,你認識她嗎?

  • Nguyen?

    那姓氏唸「阮」才對。

  • I don't know, I think probably around eight o'clock.

    不記得了,大概是八點吧。

  • So, you might wanna think about that next time you label something Asian.

    你下次想寫亞洲人的時候請注意一下。

  • Gah, this is awkward.

    媽呀!超冏!

  • Is that your brother?

    他是你哥哥嗎?

  • What?

    你說什麼?

  • It's all on you.

    都是你害的。

  • It's all on your cow!

    害你個頭!

  • Down Bastian!

    Bastian 你先冷靜!

  • I am the great, stolen Dragon!

    我是偉大的失落龍族。

  • Yup, you are.

    對對,你是。

Cheese.

來笑一個。

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你也遇過嗎?只有亞洲人才懂的那些尷尬時刻! (Awkward Moments Only Asians Understand)

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    邹达 發佈於 2020 年 02 月 04 日
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