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  • Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

    嘿,我是Marie Forleo,您正在收看的是MarieTV,這裡是創造事業的地方。

  • and life you love. And today I have a question for you. Do you ever wish that you were more

    和你熱愛的生活。今天我有一個問題要問你你是否曾經希望你更

  • persuasive? Whether you wanna win over a customer service rep or maybe a new client or event

    有說服力嗎?無論你是想贏得客戶服務代表,還是想贏得一個新的客戶或活動。

  • a significant other, being able to influence another person, of course in an honest, ethical

    一個重要的人,能夠影響另一個人,當然是在一個誠實的,道德的。

  • way, is a key to success and my guest today is gonna show us how.

    方式,是成功的關鍵,我的客人今天會告訴我們如何。

  • Bob Burg is a best selling author and speaker on topics vital to the success of today’s

    鮑勃-伯格是一位最暢銷的作家和演講者,他的演講主題對當今社會的成功至關重要。

  • businessperson. Burg is a co-author ofThe Go-Giver,” “Go-Givers Sell More,” “It’s

    商務人士。伯格是《贈人玫瑰手有餘香》、《贈人玫瑰手更有賣相》、《這是

  • Not About You,” andEndless Referrals.” Together his books have sold more than a million

    與你無關》、《無盡的推薦》等。他的書一共賣出了超過一百萬本

  • copies. Bob believes his new book, “Adversaries into Allies: Win People Over Without Manipulation

    份。鮑勃相信他的新書《化對手為盟友。贏得人們的青睞而不被操縱

  • or Coercion,” is by far his most important work yet.

    或脅迫》是他迄今為止最重要的作品。

  • Bob, thank you so much for being here on MarieTV. This is awesome.

    鮑勃,非常感謝你能來瑪麗電視。這是真棒。

  • Marie, I am honored. Thanks for having me.

    瑪麗,我很榮幸。謝謝你邀請我。

  • So I have to say, you wrote one of my favorite books ever, “The Go-Giver.” And I just

    所以我不得不說,你寫了一本我最喜歡的書,"贈人玫瑰手有餘香"。我只是

  • really wanted to thank you for that because it made a huge difference in my personal life

    真的要感謝你,因為它使我的個人生活發生了巨大的變化。

  • and it so resonates with everything that I try and do for myself and everything that

    它是如此的共鳴,我試圖為自己做的一切,以及一切

  • we try and teach on MarieTV, which is to focus on giving rather than getting. So that was

    我們在MarieTV上嘗試和教導的,是專注於給予而不是得到。所以這就是

  • just a little public acknowledgement and if you don't have this book, “The Go-Giver,”

    只是一點點的公開承認,如果你沒有'這本書,"Go-Giver,"

  • you have to get yourself it now. But today were gonna focus on your other amazing

    你必須讓自己現在。但今天我們要關注的是你的另一個驚人的。

  • book, and I know you have more than 2, but today were going to focus onAdversaries

    書,我知道你有兩個以上的書,但今天我們要關注 "對手"。

  • into Allies.” This is awesome. “How to Win People Over Without Manipulation or Coercion.”

    成盟友。"這是真棒。"如何在沒有操縱或脅迫的情況下贏得人們的信任。"

  • Thank you.

    謝謝你了

  • Now, one of the things that struck me was that you make a real distinction between persuasion

    現在,讓我印象深刻的一件事是,你把勸說和說服之間做了一個真正的區分

  • and manipulation. Can you tell us what that is?

    和操縱。你能告訴我們那是什麼嗎?

  • Yeah. And, you know, I made that point early because it’s a question that’s very natural.

    是啊,你知道,我很早就提出了這一點,因為這是個很自然的問題。而且,你知道,我很早就提出了這一點,因為這是一個很自然的問題。

  • When you think of influence, which is really in a sense what the book is about, influence

    當你想到影響力的時候,其實從某種意義上來說,這就是本書的主題,影響

  • can be defined as simply the ability to move a person or persons to a desired action usually

    可以簡單地定義為推動一個人或幾個人採取所需行動的能力,通常是指

  • within the context of a specific goal. You can do that one of two ways. You could do

    在特定目標的背景下。你可以通過兩種方式之一來實現。你可以這樣做

  • it through manipulating another person or you can do it through persuading another person.

    你可以通過操縱他人來實現,也可以通過說服他人來實現。

  • And really manipulation and persuasion are cousins. Now, one’s the evil cousin. Manipulation’s

    而真正的操縱和說服是表兄弟。現在,一個是邪惡的表弟。Manipulation's

  • the evil cousin.

    邪惡的表哥。

  • The dark cousin.

    黑暗中的表哥。

  • Right. The dark cousin. And persuasion’s the good one. But, let’s face it, both the

    對了,黑暗的表哥。黑暗的表弟。而勸說是好的。但是,讓我們面對它,這兩個。

  • manipulator and the persuader, they both understand human interaction. They both understand human

    操縱者和說服者,他們都懂得人際交往。他們都瞭解人類

  • motivation. They understand what makes people tick and what makes people move to action.

    動機。他們瞭解是什麼讓人們心動,是什麼讓人們行動起來。

  • Sobut there’s still a big difference and that’s the key. And obviously we don't

    所以......但還是有很大的區別,這才是關鍵。顯然,我們不'

  • encourage people to manipulate, but rather to persuade. One of the best examples or explanations

    鼓勵人們去操縱,而是去說服。最好的例子或解釋之一是

  • of the two, the difference in the two, is from a gentleman by the name of Dr. Paul W.

    的,兩者的區別,是來自一位名叫保羅-W-博士的先生。

  • Swets. He wrote a book back in 1986 entitled, “The Art of Talking So that People Will

    Swets。他早在1986年就寫了一本書,名為《說話的藝術,讓人們會。

  • Listen,” though it was much more about listening than it was about talking. And I thought his

    聽。"雖然這比起說話,更多的是聽。而我覺得他的

  • explanation was great. According to Dr. Swets, manipulation aims at control, not cooperation.

    解釋得很好。根據Swets博士的說法,操縱的目的是控制,而不是合作。

  • It does not consider the good of the other party, it results in a win-lose situation.

    它不考慮對方的利益,它的結果是輸贏。

  • In direct contrast to the manipulator, the persuader always seeks to enhance the self

    與操縱者直接相反的是,說服者總是試圖提升自我

  • esteem of the other party. The result is that people respond better because theyre treated

    對方的尊重。其結果是,人們的反應更好,因為他們受到了

  • as responsible or response-able, self directing individuals. So it begins with intent but

    作為負責任的或可迴應的、自我指導的個人。是以,它始於意圖,但

  • that’s not where it ends. See, both the manipulator and the persuader can elicit immediate

    這不是結束的地方。你看,操縱者和勸說者都能立即引出

  • action, but that’s where it ends because once you know youve been manipulated, Marie,

    行動,但也就到此為止了,因為一旦你知道自己被操縱了,瑪麗。

  • you will avoid that person. Youll do the best you can to resist that person. Even if

    你會避免那個人。你會盡你最大的努力去抵抗那個人。即使

  • you have to work with that person, youll do something to not have to be involved in

    你必須與他合作,你會做一些事情,以避免捲入

  • some way. With a persuader though, that’s different. See, a persuadersee, a manipulator

    某種方式。但對於一個說服者來說,那就不同了。你看,一個勸說者... ... 你看,一個操縱者。

  • is win at all costs. They may not want to hurt the other person, but if they have to

    是不惜一切代價的贏。他們可能不想傷害對方,但如果他們不得不這樣做

  • in order to get their way they will. Theyre very I focused or me focused. Not the case

    為了得到他們的方式,他們將。他們很我專注或我專注。不是這樣的

  • with the persuader. For them to win the other person also has to win. So when youve been

    與勸說者。要想讓他們贏,對方也要贏。所以當你已經

  • persuaded you feel good about that person and youre more likely to buy into their

    說服你對這個人的好感,你更容易相信他們的

  • ideas again.

    思想再。

  • Yeah and I love that distinction also that it taps into feelings. It’s like how do

    是啊,我也喜歡這種區別,它能讓人感受到。這就像怎麼做

  • you feel when youre persuaded? Is it a win-win for both of you?

    你覺得當你被說服?是否是雙贏?

  • Exactly.

    就是這樣

  • And I thought that wasit’s really important because, you know, one of the things that

    我想這是... 這真的很重要,因為,你知道,其中一件事是... ...

  • weve discovered and what we do here on MarieTV and in our program B-School, so many

    我們發現,我們在MarieTV和我們的B-School節目中所做的事情,那麼多的

  • people associate sales and marketing or getting your product or your idea out into the world

    人們把銷售和市場或把你的產品或你的想法推向世界聯繫起來。

  • with somehow being pushy or somehow being manipulative.

    與莫名其妙地被催促或莫名其妙地被操縱。

  • Just the opposite.

    恰恰相反。

  • Exactly. And it’s just the opposite. And that’s why I was so excited to talk with

    正是如此。而這恰恰相反。這就是為什麼我很高興能和你談談

  • you today because I think this reframing of how to add value in other people’s lives

    因為我認為這種重新定義如何在別人的生活中增加價值的方式。

  • and whenever if we bump up against conflict, which were gonna talk about in a few minutes,

    如果我們遇到了衝突,我們會在幾分鐘內討論。

  • how do you deal with that in a way that’s empathetic and compassionate and that leaves

    你如何處理的方式 這是一個同情和同情,並離開

  • both people not only feeling great but it’s actually a true win win for both of them.

    兩個人不僅感覺很好,而且實際上是真正的雙贏。

  • It is. And, Marie, so many people when they go into business and they do something they

    是的而且,瑪麗,很多人在做生意的時候,他們做了一些事情,他們

  • love, they have a product or service they feel so good about and they know they can

    愛,他們有一個產品或服務,他們覺得很好,他們知道他們可以。

  • add value to people’s lives. But they say, “Oh, but I don't wanna sell.” Why? Because

    增加價值的人的生活。但他們說,"哦,但我不想賣。"為什麼呢?為什麼?

  • it’s how theyre defining selling. See, if you look at selling as something you do

    這是他們如何定義銷售。你看,如果你把銷售看成是你做的事

  • to someone, if you define selling as trying to convince somebody to buy something they

    如果你把銷售定義為試圖說服別人購買他們的東西,那麼你就可以把它定義為 "銷售"。

  • don't want or need, who wants to do that? We couldn’t feel good about something like

    不要',也不需要,誰願意這樣做呢?我們不能對這樣的事情有好感

  • that. Really all selling is at its veryat its basic is simply finding out what somebody

    那。真的,所有的銷售都是在其非常... 在其基本的是簡單地發現了什麼人

  • does want or need and helping them to get it.

    並幫助他們得到它。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • That’s what it is. And when you look at it that way you can feel great about it because

    就是這樣的。當你這樣看的時候,你會感覺很好,因為...

  • you know youre providing a service to that person.

    你知道你在為那個人提供服務。

  • Absolutely. So let’s shift into the five principles that are really the core of the

    絕對是這樣的。所以,讓我們轉入五個原則,這才是真正的核心。

  • book. So let’s start off with principle number one, which is all about being able

    書。所以我們先從第一條原則說起,就是要能做到

  • to be the master of our own emotions.

    做我們自己情緒的主人。

  • Exactly.

    就是這樣

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • It’s control your own emotions. The sages of long ago asked who was a mighty person

    是控制自己的情緒。昔日聖賢問誰是強者?

  • and they answered, “That person who can control their own emotions and make of an

    他們回答說:"那個人能夠控制自己的情緒,並使的。

  • enemy or a potential enemy a friend.” It all begins with that because, see, until you

    敵人或潛在的敵人為朋友。"這一切都從這一點開始,因為,你看,直到你

  • canit’s only when you can control your own emotions that youre able to take a

    可以......只有當你能控制自己的情緒時,你才能夠採取一個

  • potentially negative situation or person and turn it into a win for everyone involved.

    潛在的負面情況或個人,並將其轉化為每個人都參與的贏家。

  • But why is that so difficult? Well, because were human beings.

    但為什麼這麼難呢?嗯,因為我們是人類。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • And as human beings were emotional creatures. I would like to think were logical, and

    而作為人類,我們是情緒化的動物。我想認為我們是有邏輯的,而且...

  • to a certain extent we are, but really we are emotion driven. We make major decisions

    在某種程度上,我們是,但實際上我們是情感驅動。我們做出重大決定

  • based on emotion and we back up those emotional decisions with logic. We rationalize. And

    基於情感,我們用邏輯來支持這些情感的決定。我們合理化。而

  • if you take that word it means we tell ourselves rational lies and we do that in order to justify

    如果你用這個詞,它的意思是我們告訴自己理性的謊言 我們這樣做是為了證明自己是合理的。

  • that emotional decision. Well, there’s alsoemotion also comes into play when you just

    情感的決定。 - 嗯,還有...好了,還有... 情感也進入發揮作用的時候,你只是... ...

  • feel lousy about something. Now, we know nobody can make us feel bad or angry or sad or mad,

    感覺糟糕的東西。現在,我們知道沒有人可以讓我們感覺到不好或憤怒或悲傷或瘋狂。

  • but what they can do is they can either intentionally or usually unintentionally do things that

    但他們能做的是,他們可以有意或通常無意地做一些事情。

  • push our buttons and cause ourselves to become mad or angry or sad or what have you. And

    按下我們的按鈕,使我們自己變得瘋狂或憤怒或悲傷或什麼的。而

  • when we allow ourself to be controlled by that we can’t be part of the solution by

    當我們允許自己被控制時,我們就不能成為解決方案的一部分,通過

  • the very nature of the thing. We become part of the problem and things don't work out.

    事情的本質。我們成了問題的一部分,事情就不會有結果。

  • This is not to say that we should forego our emotions. Emotions are a great part of life.

    這並不是說我們應該放棄我們的情感。情緒是生活的重要組成部分。

  • They make life joyous and worthwhile. But as one of my great mentors, Dandi Schumachi,

    他們讓生活變得快樂而有價值。但作為我的一位偉大導師,丹迪-舒馬奇。

  • says, “By all means, take your emotions along for the ride but make sure you are driving

    說:"無論如何,帶著你的情緒去旅行,但要確保你是在開

  • the car.”

    汽車。"

  • I loved that when I read it in the book. It was so great. And I think it’s so important

    我在書中讀到這句話時,很喜歡。它是如此的偉大。我認為這是非常重要的

  • to remember because in those situations where our buttons do get pressed it’s very easy,

    因為在這些情況下,我們的按鈕確實被按下了,這很容易。

  • especially in this world where we can text in a moment, we can reply on social media,

    尤其是在這個可以瞬間發短信的世界,我們可以在社交媒體上回復。

  • you can reply in email, and those things can’t be taken back. I mean, words can’t be taken

    你可以在電子郵件中回覆,而這些東西是不能收回的。我的意思是,話不能被採取

  • back. But I think it’s vital for this idea of turning adversaries or any kind of conflict,

    回。但我認為這對這種將對手或任何一種衝突的想法至關重要。

  • someone that we have conflict with, into an ally, of being able to chill out for a minute

    與我們有衝突的人,變成盟友,能夠冷靜下來一分鐘的人

  • and not be driven by your emotions. So one ofan action strategy would be to just

    而不是由你的情緒驅動。所以其中一個... 行動策略就是...

  • Well, if you know that youre susceptible to this then what you wanna do is rehearse.

    好吧,如果你知道你很容易受到影響... ...那麼你要做的就是排練。

  • You know, imagine situations that you know that have happened in the past that could

    你知道,想象一下,你知道的情況下,已經發生在過去的情況下,可

  • happen again where your buttons could be pressed and see both results. I mean, see what it

    再發生在你的按鈕可以按下,看到兩個結果。我的意思是,看看它

  • would be like if you did what you usually do and that that’s probably not the result

    如果你做了你通常做的事情會是什麼樣子的,那可能不是結果

  • you want and then imagine yourself just, as Zig Ziglar used to say, responding instead

    然後想象你自己,就像Zig Ziglar說的那樣,迴應你的要求

  • of reacting. Really being in control of yourself, being calm, listening to that person first,

    的反應。真正做到控制自己,冷靜,先聽那個人的。

  • taking a moment to decide what to do and seeing it turn out beautifully. And it’s sort of

    花點時間來決定做什麼,然後看到它變成漂亮的。而這是一種

  • like a, and I use this analogy in the book, like an astronaut who’s going up into space.

    就像一個,我在書中用這個比喻,就像一個太空人要上太空一樣。

  • Before they do he or she is going to do a lot of simulations, maybe hundreds of them,

    在這之前,他(她)要做大量的模擬,可能要做上百次。

  • so by the time they get up into space and something happens theyve already been there

    所以當他們進入太空,發生一些事情的時候,他們已經在那裡了。

  • and done that. And while it’s a little bit different certainly than actually doing it,

    並做到了這一點。雖然這和實際做起來肯定有一點不同。

  • it’s not that much different. We know the mind can’t tell thethe subconscious

    這並沒有太大的區別。我們知道頭腦不能告訴... 潛意識。

  • can’t tell the difference between what’s actually happened and what’s been suggested

    虛虛實實,莫衷一是

  • to it. So if you see yourself doing it, if youre rehearsing this, if youre picturing

    到它。所以如果你看到自己在做這件事 如果你在排練這件事 如果你在想象... ...

  • those wonderful results in your mind’s eye, then when the situation comes up youre

    那些美好的結果在你的腦海裡,那麼當情況出現的時候,你就會被

  • much more likely to do it. And when you do and you handle it beautifully, take pleasure

    更有可能做到這一點。當你做了,而且你處理得很好的時候,你就會很高興。

  • in that. Congratulate yourself. Know that if youve done it once you can do it every

    在那。恭喜你自己。要知道,如果你已經做了一次,你可以做到這一點,每一個。

  • time. But there’s one more thing though, and that’s to understand you probably won’t

    的時間。不過還有一點,那就是要明白你可能不會。

  • do it right every time. At least I know I don't.

    每次都做對。至少我知道我沒有'。

  • Oh, I don't either.

    哦,我也不'。

  • Yet in those times when we don't because were human and it’s gonna happen, we can feel

    然而在那些我們不'的時候,因為我們是人,它會發生,我們會覺得

  • a little bad about it, but not too bad. Don't go intodon't go into a guilt trip about

    有一點不好,但不是太壞。不要去... 不要去進入一個內疚之旅,關於

  • it. Understand that youre human and youll have many chances to practice.

    它。明白自己是人,你會有很多機會去練習。

  • Yeah. I love that. I love the rehearsing bit. I know one thing that always works for me,

    是的,我喜歡這樣我喜歡排練的位。我知道一件事,總是為我工作。

  • weve talked a lot about it on the show, is like taking a time out. Like, if you feel

    我們已經談了很多關於它的節目, 就像採取時間了。就像,如果你覺得

  • yourself emotionally charged by something that’s come in and you don't have to respond

    你自己的情緒衝動的東西的進來,你不'迴應。

  • right away

    馬上...

  • Right.

    好吧,我知道了

  • ...to give yourself a little bit of a cooling off period so you can clear out and then,

    ...給自己一點冷卻期,這樣你就可以清理出來,然後。

  • you know, think

    你知道,想...

  • Very important.

    非常重要。

  • Yeah. A little more empathetically. So let’s move on. What’s principle number two?

    是啊,更有同理心一點。更加感同身受一些。所以,讓我們繼續前進。什麼是原則二?

  • That is to understand the clash of belief systems, and this is so very key. What is

    那就是要理解信仰體系的衝突,這個是非常關鍵的。什麼是

  • a belief? Well, a belief really is a subjective truth. It’s the truth as we understand the

    一個信念?嗯,信仰其實就是一種主觀的真理。它是我們理解的真理

  • truth to be, which doesn't mean it’s the truth. That means it’s our truth.

    真理是,這並不意味著它是真理。這意味著它是我們的真理。

  • Our truth.

    我們的真相。

  • Right. Now, our truth might be the truth, but it’s not necessarily and it’s probably

    是的,我們的真相可能是真相,但不一定是,也可能是。現在,我們的真理可能是真理, 但它不一定,它可能是

  • so far less than what we think.

    遠遠不如我們想象的那樣。

  • Right.

    好吧,我知道了

  • Well, you know, we have our truths, our truths are a result of our belief systems. I call

    嗯,你知道,我們有我們的真理,我們的真理是我們的信仰系統的結果。我稱之為

  • it an operating system. And it’s an unconscious operating system. Were not even aware of

    它是一個作業系統。而這是一個無意識的作業系統。我們甚至沒有意識到

  • it. Our beliefs are a combination of upbringing, environments, schooling, news media, television

    它。我們的信仰是教養、環境、學校教育、新聞媒體、電視的綜合體。

  • shows, movies, popular culture, cultural mores, everyall the associations we have. And

    顯示,電影,流行文化, 文化習俗,每一個... ... 所有的協會,我們有。而且...

  • it’s pretty muchthe interesting thing about it, it’s pretty much set in place

    它是相當多的... 有趣的是,它是相當多的地方設置

  • by the time were little more than toddlers. And at that point everything new that comes

    到了我們還只是一個蹣跚學步的孩子的時候。而在這時,一切新的東西

  • into that belief system tends to build on that foundation or that premise. So people

    成的信仰體系往往建立在這個基礎或前提上。所以人們

  • grow up with a particular belief system not even realizing it. Thinking, saying, doing

    在特定的信仰體系下成長,卻不自知。想、說、做

  • things based on those beliefs and they live their entire life doing that. Well, we have

    基於這些信仰的事情,他們的一生都在做。那麼,我們有

  • to also understand that this other person with whom were about to have a potentially

    同時也要明白,這另一個人,我們將與之有一個潛在的。

  • difficult personalinterpersonal transaction, theyre a victim of their, and when I say

    困難的個人... ... 人際交往,他們是一個受害者 他們的,當我說:

  • victim I don't mean victim mentality, I mean

    受害者 我不是說受害者心態,我是說... ...

  • No, of course.

    不,當然。

  • ...it’s… it’s just unconscious and it’s just how most of us are. That they also live

    ...這是... ...這只是無意識的,這只是我們大多數人是如何。他們也生活在...

  • according to their belief systems and theyre unconscious about it and that’s where a

    根據他們的信仰系統,他們是無意識的,這也是一個地方

  • clash can really occur. And as human beings we tend to think that everybody else sees

    會真正發生衝突。而作為人類的我們,往往會認為別人看到的都是

  • the world as we see the world. How could it be anything else? That’s how we see the

    我們所看到的世界。怎麼可能是別的什麼呢?這就是我們看到的

  • world, which is why you hear people say things like, “Oh, everybody feels that way.”

    世界,這就是為什麼你聽到人們說的東西,如, "哦,每個人都覺得這樣。"

  • Or, “Oh, nobody likes that.” Or if youve ever said, I know I have certainly, “Oh,

    或者,"哦,沒有人喜歡這樣。"或者,如果你曾經說過, 我知道我肯定,"哦,"。

  • I would never say that to someone.” Right?

    我不會對別人說的。"對吧?

  • Of course.

    當然了

  • Because that’s our belief. No we wouldn’t, but they would. They come from a different

    因為那是我們的信念。不,我們不會,但他們會。他們來自不同的

  • belief system. So what we need to do, Marie, is not necessarily understand that person’s

    信仰體系。所以我們要做的 Marie 不是一定要理解那個人的...

  • belief system. They probably don't understand their own belief system. What we need to do

    信仰體系。他們可能不瞭解自己的信仰體系。我們要做的是

  • is simply understand that the two of us, that we see the world from two different models

    是簡單地理解,我們兩個人, 我們看到的世界從兩個不同的模型。

  • or paradigms or viewpoints, belief systems. And as long as we understand that and we respect

    或範式或觀點、信仰體系。而只要我們理解,我們尊重

  • that, now we can create the context for a mutual win win.

    那,現在我們可以創造一個互贏的環境。

  • That’s awesome and it’s just really that awareness that can, I know for me

    這是真棒,它只是真正的意識 可以,我知道對我來說... ...

  • Absolutely.

    絕對的

  • ...disable that immediate maybe reaction or fight that wants to come up and like, “What

    ......禁用,立即也許反應或戰鬥,想來了,喜歡,"什麼?"。

  • are they thinking? Why don't they get it?” And I loved that about your book that it just

    他們在想什麼?他們為什麼不明白呢?"我很喜歡你的書,它只是。

  • starts to set that frame for more empathetic, compassionate, kind interaction.

    開始為更多的同理心、同情心、善良的互動設定了這個框架。

  • Yeah. And it allows us to not take things personally and to personalize things. One

    是的,它讓我們不把事情當做個人,把事情個人化。它允許我們不採取個人的東西 和個性化的東西。一個

  • of the best books ever written on that topic was by Don Miguel Ruiz, “The Four Agreements.”

    有史以來關於這個主題的最好的書是唐-米格爾-魯伊斯寫的 "四項協議"。

  • Yes.

    是的,我知道

  • And when he talked about the agreements of the world, which I call belief systems, he

    當他談到世界的協議,我稱之為信仰體系時,他

  • also showed why we really don't have to take things personally. It isn’t about us. It

    也表明了為什麼我們真的不必把事情當做個人。這不是我們的問題。它

  • all has to do with that unconscious way that that person sees the world and so forth. And

    都與那個人看待世界的無意識方式有關,等等。而

  • so, you know, whenever I find myself taking things personally, I still go to that chapter

    所以,你知道,每當我發現自己的東西個人,我還是去那一章。

  • in the book.

    在書中。

  • Me too. For sure. Ok, so moving on to principle number three, acknowledging their ego.

    我也是。肯定的。好了,所以移動到原則三, 承認他們的自我。

  • Yeah. And, you know, I say acknowledge their ego not ours because we don't have one.

    是啊,你知道,我說承認他們的自我,而不是我們的,因為我們沒有一個。而且,你知道,我說承認他們的自我而不是我們的,因為我們沒有一個。

  • Yeah, right.

    是的,沒錯。

  • No, we obviously, we have to acknowledge ours too. We have to be aware of it. And what’s

    不,很明顯,我們也必須承認我們的。我們必須意識到這一點。而什麼是

  • interesting is the ego itself, and we tend to especially in the personal development

    有趣的是自我本身,我們傾向於特別是在個人發展... ...

  • Community?

    社區?

  • ...community if you will, we tend to say, “Oh, everything about the ego is bad.”

    ...社會如果你願意,我們傾向於說,"哦,關於自我的一切都不好。"

  • Not necessarily. The ego just is. The ego is the I. Literally that’s what the ego

    不一定。自我就是如此。自我就是我,從字面上看,那就是自我的意思。

  • is. It’s that sense of self that realizes we are a distinct human being separate from

    是。正是這種自我意識,讓我們意識到自己是一個獨特的人,與之分離的

  • other human beings. And, you know, that’s a little politically incorrectincorrect

    其他人類。而且,你知道,這是一個有點 政治不正確... 不正確的。

  • to say. You know, separate from other…? What? Well, we are.

    說。你知道,從其他... ... ?什麼? - 我們是。嗯,我們是。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • Now, don't getwere part of the whole universal consciousness and we learned that

    我們是整個宇宙意識的一部分,我們學到了這一點。

  • back from Napoleon Hill and certainly quantum physics and the vibrations and theyre in

    從拿破崙山回來,當然量子物理學和振動,他們在。

  • tuneof course. Were partbut you know what? In our earthly human existence

    調... 當然。我們是一部分... 但你知道嗎?在我們地球上的人類存在...

  • Yes.

    是的,我知道

  • ...we operate as individuals. We seek our own sense of happiness and we have our own

    ...我們以個人的身份運作。我們追求自己的幸福感,我們有自己的... ...

  • individual values and so forth. And so we do operate that way. And the ego, when channeled

    個人價值等等。所以我們確實是這樣運作的。而自我,當被引導

  • and controlled, can help us accomplish great things for ourselves and for the community

    和控制,可以幫助我們為自己和社會完成偉大的事情。

  • as a whole. But when it gets away from