You give and take equally.

你們付出與獲得的一樣多。

One person's needs aren't met over another's.

一個人的需求不應該讓另一方負荷不了。

Friends and partners are supposed to give you energy, lift you up when you're down and want the best for you.

朋友、伴侶應該要給你力量，在你低落時拉你一把，同時也為你好。

But sometimes we get into relationships that drain energy from us.

但我們有時候會陷入消耗我們心力的感情中。

These are toxic relationships and they can negatively affect all aspects of our lives.

那些就是有害的感情，而且會給我們生活各個面向帶來負面的影響。

On this week's well cast we're gonna show you how you can tell if you're even in a toxic relationship and then we're gonna help you extricate yourself from that unhealthy situation pronto.

在本週的單元劇中，我們要告訴你要如何分辨自己是否身處有害的感情中，然後幫助你讓自己盡快脫離那種不健康的環境。

Selfie 1 : Diagnose the relationship

1、感情診斷

How do you know if a friend or partner bring you down？

你要怎麼知道你的朋友或另一半是不是在拖累你？

Well, in much the same way that you know that you're coming down with a cold, toxic relationships come with symptoms.

跟你感覺到你正被感冒襲擊差不多，有害的感情也有症狀。

When you're around this person, how do you feel?

當你跟這種人在一起時，你會有什麼感覺？

Here are a few other questions you should ask yourself if you're thinking you might be in a toxic situation.

如果你覺得身處在有害感情中，這邊有幾個你該問問自己的問題。

Does my friend put me down all the time?

我的朋友們是不是總是拖累我？

Are they jealous when I spend time with others ?

他們是不是嫉妒我跟別人在一起？

Do they constantly bring up parts of me that they want to change ?

他們是不是經常提起他們想要改變我的部分？

Did they take more than give?

他們是不是付出比較少？

Am I only doing the things that they want to do?

我是不是只做他們想做的事？

Selfie 2: Recognize your role

2、認清自己的角色

In the relationship, as Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

在一段感情中，就像愛蓮娜羅斯福說的：「沒有你的准許，任何人都不能讓你感到自卑」。

Alright , look , what we got that from Princess Diaries obviously, moving on.

好吧，我們是從電影「麻雀變公主」學到的是，很明顯地，前進吧！

Listen, you have autonomy in every relationship in your life.

聽著，你在人生中每段感情裡都有自主權。

If your friend or partner is stealing your sunshine, you need to figure out what you're doing to allow them to do this.

如果你的朋友或另一半把你的陽光偷走了，你必須想清楚自己為什麼會准許他們這麼做。

Are you being a doormat ?

你是不是個任人踩踏的腳踏墊？

Are you putting this person's emotional needs ahead of your own health?

你是不是把這個人的情感需求看得比自己的健康還重？

Selfie 3: Start to build boundaries for this relationship

3、開始劃清這段感情的界線

Does your friend invite himself over at all hours in the night?

你的朋友晚上總時隨時不請自來嗎？

Are they constantly bossing you around ?

他們是不是一指對你頤指氣使？

Are they always borrowing money from you?

他們是不是總是跟你借錢？

Alright, once you know the boundary that you want to set, stick to it.

一但你知道自己想劃清的界線，你要好好執行。

Draw your line in the sand.

把話說清楚。

Selfie four : Recognize , you can't change other people but you can stop being a doormat.

4、你要意識到，你不能改變別人，但你可以不要再當腳踏墊。

If you have determined a friendship, or a relationship is toxic you know that you have to change the nature of that relationship.

如果你已經認定一段友誼或一段感情是有害的，你知道你必須改變這段關係的狀態。

Start by spending less time with that person and do your best to detach yourself emotionally.

你要開始花少一點時間跟這個人相處，然後盡全力讓自己情感獨立。

Hopefully setting boundaries will help you begin to phase this relationship out.

希望劃清界線可以幫助你開始慢慢遠離這段感情。

Selfie 5 : Get a second opinion.

5、詢問別人的意見

Especially if you're emotionally vulnerable, the best thing you can do is surround yourself with people who love you and who want you to be happy and healthy.

特別是，如果你是個情感脆弱的人，你能做的最好的事就是讓自己被愛你的人所包圍，也希望你健康快樂的人圍繞。

Use them as a lifeline during this time.

把他們當作這段期間的生命線。

Selfie 6 : Above all else , look out for yourself.

6、除了以上幾點，自己要小心

Studies have shown that people with low self-esteem are far more likely to find themselves in toxic relationships.

研究顯示，對自己較沒自信的人非常容易讓自己身陷有害的關係中。

You will never be treated with love and respect unless you absolutely believe that you deserve these things.

除非你完全相信自己值得被愛、被尊重，你永遠無法被這樣對待。

Remember, you teach people how to treat you, so do yourself the favor of loving yourself.

記住，你要教別人怎麼對待你，所以幫自己一個忙，好好愛自己吧！

That's the first step to any relationship.

那也是任何感情的第一步。

To recap, if you have diagnosed yourself as being in a toxic relationship, the first step is recognizing this, then recognizing your role in the relationship.

總之，如果你發現自己身處一段有害的感情中，第一個步驟是意識到這件事，然後認清自己在這段關係中的角色。

Once you do this, you can start to set boundaries for this relationship and change the way you interact with this person.

一旦你這樣做了，你可以開始為這段感情劃清界線，也改變自己跟這個人的互動方式。

To help, surround yourself with people who love you and above all else, look out for yourself.

更進一步的，讓你的身邊可以圍繞著愛你的人，而最重要的，就是好好關心跟照顧自己。

Ah, well, that's all for me today WellCasters.

今天就先到這邊囉 WellCasters！要幫助自己的話，讓自己被愛你的人包圍，還有最重要的，自己要小心。

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可以幫個忙嗎？訂閱我們的頻道。

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訂閱我們的電子報以獲得搶先看及其他很棒的資訊。

See you later.

再會！