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  • So just go at it? –Go at it!

    -直接打嗎? -痛快地打就對了!

  • Is this his face or something?


  • How do you get through a breakup? Well, suck it up, be strong, tough it out

    怎麼熬過分手的傷痛? 人們通常會跟你說:

  • These are some of the things you hear people tell you


  • Well, what if I told you that none of those work?


  • And instead, that you should do the exact opposite


  • Give yourself permission to feel it all


  • See, in 2010, biological anthropologist Helen Fisher discovered using MRIs in advanced brain mapping


  • That when youre going through a breakup, the exact same regions of the brain are activated as when an addict is going through periods of withdrawal

    發現經歷分手的人 腦部被活化的區域和癮君子處於勒戒期被活化的區塊一樣

  • Simply put, weve scientifically proved that love really is a drug

    簡單的說 科學證明了愛情確實就像藥物或毒品

  • It’s a big deal because it kills this notion we went along assuming for years

    這是個重大發現 推翻了我們長久以來的錯誤觀念

  • That going through a breakup is just this emotional process


  • When really, theyre very much physical, too


  • It’s why you find yourself experiencing a loss appetite, fatigue, anxiety and many other symptoms that an addict goes through when experiencing withdrawals

    這就是為何人們分手後 會和戒毒者勒戒犯一樣喪失食慾、疲勞、焦躁不安、並受相關症狀所苦的原因

  • Like addiction, we figured we’d give you 12 steps to help you through a breakup

    就像濫用或成癮一樣 我們認為有12個步驟能帶你走出陰霾

  • We only have likewe only have a few minutes


  • We can’t do 12? What about like… 10?

    12個太多了? 那…10個呢?

  • Here are 5 steps to help you through a breakup

    總共有5個階段 幫助你脫離情傷

  • First, we gathered participants who were fresh out of a breakup

    首先 我們找來了剛剛才結束一段戀情的受測者

  • And tested their current level of happiness


  • You know, it’s kind of day-by-day. Some days it stops. Some days it’s alright.

    痛楚一直存在 有時劇痛 有時則沒那麼嚴重

  • How long was the relationship?


  • It was 10 months. Yes. But who’s counting?

    10個月 不過大概只有我在乎吧?

  • Well it was domestic for about a year, but before that we were back and forth for a total like 4 years

    我們同居了大概一年 但那之前我們已經交往四年

  • The first step is to get your anger out in a healthy way

    第一步: 透過健康管道排解怒氣

  • Go at it. Come around and connect with it. Couple more. Give me a good one finish out.

    來吧! 喚醒你的憤怒 再打幾拳 最後來個完美一擊

  • Yeah, work the gut. Work the gut, I like it

    用力打 再大力一點 幹得好

  • That’s it. All right champ, alright, alright you got it

    就是這樣 你贏了 很好 行啦

  • How are you feeling? –I feel good

    -感覺如何? -很爽快

  • Kind of clearing everything else out


  • I guess that is one good way for me to get it out


  • Next up is to turn it into a learning experience

    第二步: 從分手中學習

  • You can’t change the past but you can use it as a lesson

    你改變不了過去 但可以汲取教訓

  • Looking back on your last relationship, I want you to tell me 3 things that you learned from it

    回想你上一段戀情 說出3件你領悟的事

  • Perception greatly differs between different people. You can be in the same situation, same people same place, and have 2 different stories about the same event

    每個人的見解和認知可能很迥異 同個狀況、同樣的人、同樣的場所、同樣的事件 還是會有兩個版本

  • Being more open


  • Age is sometimes more than a number


  • What was it that made you realize this lesson?


  • We didn’t fight a lot, but when we did fight, it seemed to always boil down to the same issues

    我們不常吵架 但每次吵都是那些事

  • And they seemed to be like fundamental intrinsic thing within each of us


  • When youre giving your attention, time, money, affection to something, youre investing a part of yourself into that.

    當你關注某事、投入時間、金錢、感情時 也把自己的一部分放了進去

  • That’s the part of your heart that youre giving to someone else


  • He wasn’t always like the greatest boyfriend. I wasn’t gonna settle for somebody who I had to explain myself to

    他不總是最棒的情人 而我希望男友可以理解我

  • The next part is perhaps the most important one


  • Accepting where you are right now


  • Try to be aware of what youre feeling and don’t push it away

    仔細觀察自己的感受 不要推開-

  • Don’t shut it off, don’t suppress it


  • One way to do this is through meditation


  • And begin


  • Welcome to this 5 minute session for self acceptance


  • How are you feeling?


  • Don’t feel as much anxiety, you know?


  • Accepting everything as is and being able to really objectively go about doing things

    能接受現實 可以開始客觀處理、面對事情

  • rather than just filling my time with to-dos just to think about it, you know


  • Acknowledge the good just as there was a significant enough reason to end your relationship

    雖然你們分手了 但曾經的快樂與歡笑是不可抹滅的

  • There also has to be a lot of positive reasons that kept you in it


  • Okay. –Got it? –yeah.

    好了 -完成了嗎? -完成了

  • One really positive aspect dating Brian was his outrageous personality over filled with laughter and love

    布萊恩的優點之一是他豪放爽朗的性格 他總是充滿喜樂和愛

  • We had a lot of good times when we didn’t have a plan

    不事先計畫 反而得到更多驚喜與樂趣

  • When we were eating Mexican food, singing karaoke, playing with animals at the pet shelter, watching horror films and out hash tagging each other on Instagram


  • I felt the best of times like nothing else mattered at all and the world was at our fingertips

    和她共度的美好時光讓我覺得沒什麼更重要了 好像擁有了全世界

  • It’s hard


  • I gotta hand it to Brian


  • Because he was everything to me


  • In the past 2 months, since we broke up, I spent a lot of time staying busy, doing other stuff

    分手後的兩個月 我讓自己處於忙碌狀態 盡量不去胡思亂想

  • And there were a lot of things that I hadn’t really asked myself. But it seems frivolous at the time or pointless cause it was over

    有很多問題我從沒問過自己 可是現在談這些好像膚淺又無聊 因為都結束了

  • You know, you build your dailies and your lifestyle around someone else on your relationship sources

    當你談戀愛時 會配合對方安排日常瑣事、調整生活方式

  • When youre single, it’s just you, so I wanna go back to just being me

    當你單身 就只有你一人了 而我想做回原本的自己

  • You know, you kind of feel like almost lame sometimes but then I gotta remember I can be fun

    你有時候會覺得自己遜斃了 但一定要記得我可以重拾歡笑

  • Lastly, focus on your best qualities

    最後: 專注在自己最好的一面

  • Breakups often leave us feeling like our world is crumbling, like were worthless


  • So it’s important to reassert your self-worth


  • And really internalized that you have value


  • We had them write down the 5 best qualities, the 5 greatest things that they had to offer


  • And handed it to a rapper


  • Celebrate, celebrate, were gonna celebrate you. –Celebration

    開趴囉 開趴囉 我們要為你慶祝-狂歡吧

  • Money, money, money, yeah, yeah

    摳摳 摳摳 摳摳 耶, 耶,

  • This one is for you. You got it. Yeah.

    這首歌是給你的 瞭嗎? yeah~

  • This one goes out to my man Scott. Mr. reliable, I’m loving it, a sensitive guy

    這首歌獻給斯科特 他是可靠又細膩的男子漢 我就喜歡這樣的他

  • Ms. Independent like a Ne-yo song

    妳就是尼歐(註: 美國流行樂歌手)歌裡的獨立自主小姐

  • So forward thinking that youre beyond smart

    高瞻遠矚 慧眼獨具

  • Do what you do. Get the best of the best

    衷於自我 發揮潛能

  • Youre the queen of the crime. Never set up for less

    妳就是那耀眼的星 超越自我

  • Is that what you want? Raising the bar

    這是妳要的嗎? 鞭策自己

  • No more dating ancient grandpas

    LKK 給我閃邊

  • Here we go, Sarah, working hard all day

    她是莎拉 辛勤認真的好員工

  • Love is a drug, don’t overdose

    愛情是藥 別嗑過頭

  • Go for gold, hold your own.

    全力以赴 堅持到底

  • Youre the best around, karate kid song

    你是宇宙無敵優秀的丹丹(註: 小鬼難纏裡的正義忍者)

  • After they were done, we tested their current level of happiness

    一切都完成後 再次測試他們的快樂指數

  • We saw an average increase of 13% and jumps as high as 31%

    正面情緒平均增加了13% 有人甚至激升31%

  • So yeah, maybe you can’t change where you are, but there is a healthy way to work through it

    你無法扭轉已經發生的事 但你有個健康的途徑可以適當渲洩

  • Don’t look at the relationship as a failure


  • Recognize it as an experience that made you smarter

    經歷分手之後 你會更成熟

  • In correlating breakups with addiction, researchers prove something weve known right from the start

    若把分手比作藥物成癮 研究人員證實了我們早就知道的事:

  • Time really does heal all wounds


  • I’m Julian and thank you for watching this season of The Science of Love

    我是朱利安 謝謝你收看本季「愛的科學」

  • Soul Pancake. Subscribe

    Soul Pancake 請訂閱~

So just go at it? –Go at it!

-直接打嗎? -痛快地打就對了!

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愛的科學:治療分手傷痛的5大步驟 12-Step Program to Get Through a Breakup | The Science of Love

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    Go Tutor 發佈於 2015 年 03 月 09 日