over the last century,

許多革命性的事情，

but perhaps none as significant

但或許沒有"長壽革命"

as the longevity revolution.

要來的意義非凡。

We are living on average today

我們現今的平均壽命

34 years longer than our great-grandparents did.

比我們的曾祖父母多34年。

Think about that.

想想看。

That's an entire second adult lifetime

這是我們壽命中增加的

that's been added to our lifespan.

第二段成人期。

And yet, for the most part,

然而,重點來了，

our culture has not come to terms with what this means.

我們的文化卻尚未意識到它所代表的涵意。

We're still living with the old paradigm

我們仍然照著舊式生命拱形曲線

of age as an arch.

而生活著。

That's the metaphor, the old metaphor.

這是比喻，舊的比喻。

You're born, you peak at midlife

我們出生，在中年進入高峰

and decline into decrepitude.

然後曲線下降到衰老期。

(Laughter)

♪笑聲♪

Age as pathology.

老化是跟著病理學曲線而行的。

But many people today --

但現今有許多人﹣

philosophers, artists, doctors, scientists --

哲學家、藝術家、醫生、科學家﹣

are taking a new look at what I call the third act,

對我所謂的”生命的第三幕“，也就是

the last three decades of life.

生命中最後的30年有了新的看法。

They realize that this is actually a developmental stage of life

他們認為它事實上是別具意義的

with its own significance --

一段人生發展階段 --

as different from midlife

從中年時期到後30年的發展，

as adolescence is from childhood.

就有如從兒童時期到青少年時期般的不同。

And they are asking -- we should all be asking --

他們因而提出了疑問﹣我們應該也要想想﹣

how do we use this time?

要如何運用這時光？

How do we live it successfully?

該如何活的有意義呢？

What is the appropriate new metaphor

”老化“一詞應重新定義

for aging?

為何呢？

I've spent the last year researching and writing about this subject.

去年我一直在研究及撰寫這個議題。

And I have come to find

我找到較適合代替

that a more appropriate metaphor for aging

”老化“的新比喻﹣

is a staircase --

就是爬樓梯﹣

the upward ascension of the human spirit,

那象徵人類精神的提昇，

bringing us into wisdom, wholeness

也就是帶領我們朝向智慧、完整

and authenticity.

及真實的精神提昇。

Age not at all as pathology;

老化不是病理學的名詞，

age as potential.

老化是具潛質的。

And guess what?

你們知道嗎？

This potential is not for the lucky few.

這樣的潛質不是少數人才有。

It turns out,

我發現，

most people over 50

大部分年過50的人

feel better, are less stressed,

自我感覺較良好、較少有壓力感

are less hostile, less anxious.

、較友善、比較沒有焦慮感。

We tend to see commonalities

面對事情的態度

more than differences.

大多見怪不怪。

Some of the studies even say

有些研究甚至指出

we're happier.

我們是比較快樂的。

This is not what I expected, trust me.

相信我，這樣的結論跟我原先預期的不同。

I come from a long line of depressives.

我曾經焦慮了好長一段時間。

As I was approaching my late 40s,

在我快50歲的時候

when I would wake up in the morning

早上醒來腦中浮現的

my first six thoughts would all be negative.

前六個想法都是負面的。

And I got scared.

我因而感到恐懼。

I thought, oh my gosh.

我想著＂天啊，

I'm going to become a crotchety old lady.

我快變成思想怪異的老女人了。

But now that I am actually smack-dab in the middle of my own third act,

現在我正處於生命的第三章，

I realize I've never been happier.

我卻快樂的不得了。

I have such a powerful feeling of well-being.

我感到非常的安穩。

And I've discovered

而我發現，

that when you're inside oldness,

當我們的內在，相對於從外表來看

as opposed to looking at it from the outside,

也相對”陳年"了，

fear subsides.

恐懼感也會跟著消失。

You realize, you're still yourself --

最後會發現，你還是你﹣

maybe even more so.

也可能因而更了解自己。

Picasso once said, "It takes a long time to become young."

畢卡索曾說＂經歷歲月後才能變年輕＂。

(Laughter)

♪笑聲♪

I don't want to romanticize aging.

我不是要將衰老浪漫化。

Obviously, there's no guarantee

當然，

that it can be a time of fruition and growth.

要開花結果可不是必然的。

Some of it is a matter of luck.

有些是因為幸運。

Some of it, obviously, is genetic.

有些很明顯的是因為遺傳。

One third of it, in fact, is genetic.

事實上三分之一的原因是遺傳。

And there isn't much we can do about that.

我們可以控制的因素不多。

But that means that two-thirds

但生命尾章三分之二

of how well we do in the third act,

的部分確是我們

we can do something about.

可以好好掌控的。

We're going to discuss what we can do

接下來我們將會討論

to make these added years really successful

要如何善用這些來年

and use them to make a difference.

來造就不凡。

Now let me say something about the staircase,

讓我來說說“爬樓梯”這件事，

which may seem like an odd metaphor for seniors

這個比喻對於上樓梯有困難的長者

given the fact that many seniors are challenged by stairs.

或許是個奇怪的比喻。

(Laughter)

♪笑♪

Myself included.

我自己也是。

As you may know,

大家都知道

the entire world operates on a universal law:

世界都是以不變的定律來運作：

entropy, the second law of thermodynamics.

熵，熱力學第二定律。

Entropy means that everything in the world, everything,

熵的意思是，世界上所有物質

is in a state of decline and decay,

都以下降、衰退的狀態呈現，

the arch.

那就是生命曲線。

There's only one exception to this universal law,

只有一件事是是例外﹣

and that is the human spirit,

人類的精神，

which can continue to evolve upwards --

可以持續的向上昇華﹣﹣

the staircase --

就如同階梯﹣﹣

bringing us into wholeness,

帶領我們趨向完整、

authenticity and wisdom.

真實及智慧的階梯。

And here's an example of what I mean.

舉個例子來說明我的比喻。

This upward ascension

在面臨極度肢體障礙時，

can happen even in the face of extreme physical challenges.

精神仍就可以向上昇華。

About three years ago,

三年前

I read an article in the New York Times.

我從紐約時代上讀到一篇文章。

It was about a man named Neil Selinger --

那是關於一位名為尼爾 施林格--

57 years old, a retired lawyer --

57歲的退休律師的故事--

who had joined the writers group at Sarah Lawrence

他在加入莎拉勞倫斯學院的寫作班中

where he found his writer's voice.

發現自己的寫作天分。

Two years later,

二年後

he was diagnosed with ALS, commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease.

他被診斷出肌萎縮性側索硬化症（盧伽雷氏病）。

It's a terrible disease. It's fatal.

那是個很恐怖且致命性的疾病。

It wastes the body, but the mind remains intact.

疾病衰弱他的身體，但沒有侵犯到他的心智。

In this article, Mr. Selinger wrote the following

在那篇文章中，施林格先生將

to describe what was happening to him.

他患病的歴程做了描述。

And I quote,

我在此引述他的一段話：

"As my muscles weakened,

「肌肉雖然漸行衰弱，

my writing became stronger.

但我文風漸行強健。

As I slowly lost my speech,

說話能力雖然漸漸尚矢，

I gained my voice.

但我表達因而變得敏銳。

As I diminished, I grew.

雖然身形憔悴，但我心靈得以依舊成長。

As I lost so much,

因為喪失太多，

I finally started to find myself."

我終究開啟自我心靈的探索。」

Neil Selinger, to me,

對我來說，尼爾 施林格

is the embodiment of mounting the staircase

是在其生命的第三幕登上階梯的

in his third act.

具體代表。

Now we're all born with spirit, all of us,

靈性是與生俱來的,

but sometimes it gets tamped down

但有時我們的心靈

beneath the challenges of life,

會因生活上遭遇的困境

violence, abuse, neglect.

、暴力、傷害、疏忽而受打壓。

Perhaps our parents suffered from depression.

也許是我們抑鬱寡歡的父母親影響了我們。

Perhaps they weren't able to love us

也許是他們論功行賞的主義作祟

beyond how we performed in the world.

而不能愛我們。

Perhaps we still suffer

也許我們仍遭受於

from a psychic pain, a wound.

心靈痛苦、創傷。

Perhaps we feel that many of our relationships have not had closure.

或許我們覺得多數我們與他人的關係並未結束。

And so we can feel unfinished.

我們因而感到還有希望。

Perhaps the task of the third act

或許生命的第三幕的任務是

is to finish up the task of finishing ourselves.

去完成我們未完成的任務。

For me, it began as I was approaching my third act,

對我而言，我是在邁入生命的第三幕、

my 60th birthday.

60歲生日時才開始想這個問題。

How was I supposed to live it?

我要怎麼渡過這第三幕呢？

What was I supposed to accomplish in this final act?

我應該完成什麼任務呢？

And I realized that, in order to know where I was going,

我領悟到，為了知道要走的方向，

I had to know where I'd been.

我必需了解曾經走過的歲月。

And so I went back

所以我回想

and I studied my first two acts,

60歲之前的我

trying to see who I was then,

是個什麼樣的人呢?

who I really was --

我以前到底是什麼樣的人--

not who my parents or other people told me I was,

不是在父母或他人眼中的我、

or treated me like I was.

或是被討好那一面的我。

But who was I? Who were my parents --

而是我自己到底是誰？我的父母親是誰-

not as parents, but as people?

除了父母的身分之外，他們還是什麼樣的人？

Who were my grandparents?

我的祖父母又是什麼樣的人呢？

How did they treat my parents?

他們是如何養育我父母的呢？

These kinds of things.

我想的是這些事情。

I discovered a couple of years later

幾年後我才知道，

that this process that I had gone through

原來我用的方法是

is called by psychologists

心理學家稱之為

"doing a life review."

＂回顧人生＂法。

And they say it can give new significance

他們說用這個方法

and clarity and meaning

可以使人對人生

to a person's life.

產生新定義、清晰其思慮。

You may discover, as I did,

你們會跟我一樣發現，

that a lot of things that you used to think were your fault,

你以前認為是自己的錯、

a lot of things you used to think about yourself,

是自己造成的結果的很多事情，

really had nothing to do with you.

其實都不是自己的問題。

It wasn't your fault; you're just fine.

那不是你的錯，跟你沒關係。

And you're able to go back

因此，回頭來你能夠去

and forgive them

原諒別人

and forgive yourself.

及自己。

You're able to free yourself

你能夠走出

from your past.

過去的陰霾。

You can work to change

得以改變過去

your relationship to your past.

對自己造成的影響。

Now while I was writing about this,

當我在為這個議題下筆時，

I came upon a book called "Man's Search for Meaning"

我想到了一本由弗蘭克博士寫的

by Viktor Frankl.

＂活出意義來＂這本書。

Viktor Frankl was a German psychiatrist

弗蘭克博士是一位德國的心理學家，

who'd spent five years in a Nazi concentration camp.

他曾在納粹集中營渡過5年的時間。

And he wrote that, while he was in the camp,

他在集中營時寫道，

he could tell, should they ever be released,

假使有天這些人被放了出去，他可以分辨得出來，

which of the people would be okay

誰心理可以調適正常，

and which would not.

而誰熬不過去。

And he wrote this:

他寫道：

"Everything you have in life can be taken from you

「我們生命中所擁有的都可以被奪去，

except one thing,

唯有一件事是搶不走的，

your freedom to choose

那就是你可以自由決定

how you will respond

以什麼樣的心態去

to the situation.

面對遭遇。

This is what determines

心態是生活品質

the quality of the life we've lived --

好壞的關鍵--

not whether we've been rich or poor,

不論是富有或貧窮、

famous or unknown,

名人或平凡人、

healthy or suffering.

健康或因病而痛苦的。

What determines our quality of life

決定我們生活品質的

is how we relate to these realities,

是我們如何看待事情、

what kind of meaning we assign them,

我們賦予該事件什麼樣的意義、

what kind of attitude we cling to about them,

我們對該事件抱持什麼樣的態度、

what state of mind we allow them to trigger."

我們讓該事件誘發什麼樣的情緒。」

Perhaps the central purpose of the third act

也許生命尾章的中心目的

is to go back and to try, if appropriate,

是回到過去，如果適當的話，

to change our relationship

並嘗試改變自己與過往

to the past.

的關係。

It turns out that cognitive research shows

認知研究發現

when we are able to do this,

當我們這麼做的時候，

it manifests neurologically --

大腦中的神經活動會特別顯著 -

neural pathways are created in the brain.

也就是說神經傳導路徑會在大腦生成。

You see, if you have, over time,

所以如果你一直對過往的

reacted negatively to past events and people,

人事物是抱持著負面的態度，

neural pathways are laid down

由大腦傳遞出的化學及電子訊息鋪設而成的

by chemical and electrical signals that are sent through the brain.

神經傳導路徑

And over time, these neural pathways become hardwired,

長久下來就會變成固定的模式。

they become the norm --

形成標準路徑--

even if it's bad for us

儘管它造成緊張跟焦慮

because it causes us stress and anxiety.

對我們有害

If however,

然而如果

we can go back and alter our relationship,

我們回顧並改變

re-vision our relationship

我們對過往

to past people and events,

人事物的觀感，

neural pathways can change.

神經傳導的路徑就會改變。

And if we can maintain

如果我們能持續的

the more positive feelings about the past,

對過去抱持越正面的觀感，

that becomes the new norm.

那麼神經傳導的路徑就會形成新的的模式。

It's like resetting a thermostat.

就好像重設恆溫器一樣。

It's not having experiences

經驗並不會

that make us wise,

使我們變聰明，

it's reflecting on the experiences that we've had

如何看待經驗

that makes us wise --

才是智慧--

and that helps us become whole,

它讓我們變得健全完整、

brings wisdom and authenticity.

有智慧並回歸自我。

It helps us become what we might have been.

藉此讓我們回歸到初衷。

Women start off whole, don't we?

我們女性的本性善良,不是嗎?

I mean, as girls, we start off feisty -- "Yeah, who says?"

我的意思是, 在我們還是小女孩時,我們都很活潑--＂哼，誰說的?＂

We have agency.

我們果敢。

We are the subjects of our own lives.

我們是自己生命中的主角。

But very often,

然而往往

many, if not most of us, when we hit puberty,

很多人在青春期時，

we start worrying about fitting in and being popular.

就開始擔心融入群體及是否受歡迎的問題。

And we become the subjects and objects of other people's lives.

於是我們變成了為別人而活。

But now, in our third acts,

但現在，在我們的生命的第三幕裡，

it may be possible

我們也許可以

for us to circle back to where we started

繞回到起點

and know it for the first time.

重新認識。

And if we can do that,

如果我們做得到，

it will not just be for ourselves.

受益的不只是我們。

Older women

高齡婦女的

are the largest demographic in the world.

人口數是世界上最多的。

If we can go back and redefine ourselves

倘若我們能回顧並重新定義自己