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"How To Speak To People: Better Communication Skills."
「如何與人說話:更好的溝通技巧」
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Hello and welcome to VideoJug.
歡迎來到 VideoJug
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I'm Rebecca Fensome, and I'm a life coach.
我是Rebecca Fensome 我是一個人生諮商師
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Being a great communicator is important in all areas of our life.
成為一個優良的溝通者 在生命各處都很重要
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Whether we're talking to our partners,
無論我們是在跟伴侶說話
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or friends, or work colleagues.
或是朋友 同僚
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Being able to inspire other individuals through your communication
能夠透過溝通啟發他人
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will allow you to have a more fruitful and enriching life.
會讓你活出一個更加豐碩的人生
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Here are my top tips to being a good communicator.
這些是成為更好的溝通者 幾個終極秘訣
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Tip 1.
祕訣一
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Use open-ended questions.
使用開放式問題
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In order to get a communication going,
為了使溝通可以持續進行
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it's really useful to use open-ended questions.
使用「開放式問題」相當有效
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Open-ended questions often start with words such as:
「開放式問題」的開頭字一般是:
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what, when, how, and why.
what when how 以及 why
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An example of an open-ended question is:
一個「開放式問題」的例子是:
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"So what do you like doing in your spare time?"
「所以你在閒暇時喜歡做什麼?」
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"I love cinema, theatre, and sports."
「我喜歡電影 戲劇 以及運動」 (註:在英式英語中theatre除了拼法不一樣外,所指的也不是電影院,而是舞台劇一類的戲劇。在英式英文中,電影一般以cinema稱呼)
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It's best to avoid what we call closed questions.
最好避免我們一般說的「封閉式問題」
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An example of a closed question is:
一個「封閉式問題」的例子是:
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"Do you like films?"
「你喜歡電影嗎?」
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"Yes, I do."
「我喜歡」
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A closed question kills the conversation
「封閉式問題」會扼殺一個談話
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because it can only be answered with a yes or no answer.
因為它只能以 "yes" 或 "no" 來回答
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Careful using these open-ended questions
謹慎使用「開放式問題」
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will ensure that the conversation continues to flow.
可以確保談話 持續 流暢地 進行下去
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Tip two.
祕訣二
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Active listening.
積極地傾聽
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This is a really useful technique.
這真的是一個實用的妙招
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As it tells the other person that you really listened to what they've been saying,
因為它告訴了對方 自己真的有聽進去他所說的東西
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and also, more importantly,
同時 更重要的
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that you've understood.
他們被理解
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"The hours are quite long."
「工作時間很長」
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"The work's really repetitive."
「工作重複性也很高」
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"My boss doesn't appreciate me."
「而且我老闆也不認同我」
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If you've been listening actively,
假如你有積極的聆聽
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at this point you should now be able to summarize what the individual has just told you.
在這個點上 你應該有辦法統合對方剛跟自己說的內容
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"It sounds like you aren't really satisfied in your job anymore."
「聽起來你現在對工作比較沒那麼滿意」
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Tip 3.
祕訣三
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The cocoon.
蛹
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Sometimes when people are talking to us we find it hard to concentrate on what they're saying.
有時候在跟別人說話時 會覺得要專注聆聽他們說的東西蠻困難的
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It might be that there's some background noise,
可能是因為背後的嘈雜聲
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or our mind is elsewhere.
或是自己心不在焉
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In order to help you with this,
為了在這點之上幫助你
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visualize a cocoon around the two of you.
想像在你們兩人周遭有一個蛹
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This will allow you to focus in on every word that they're saying to you.
這會幫助你專注在對方所說的每一個字之上
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Tip four.
秘訣四
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Engage with the other person.
充分融入對方
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If someone is trying to engage you in conversation,
假如有想將你融入一個對話之中
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your body language is really important.
身體語言就變得相當重要
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"Tom I need your advice."
「Tom我需要你的建議」
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"Uh huh."
「恩」
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Don't continue with the task that you're already doing.
不要繼續做自己手頭上的事情
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Don't shout the answer over your shoulder.
不要跨過肩膀喊出答案
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"Tom, Tom!"
「Tom Tom」
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"I need your advice."
「我需要你的建議」
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"Sorry, um....."
「抱歉 額....」
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Instead what we need to do, is stop what you're doing,
取而代之 我們應該做的是 停下手邊的工作
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turn around and face that individual and give them the time they deserve.
轉過身 臉對著與你說的一方 然後給他他應得的時間
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"Tom, I need your advice."
「Tom我需要你的建議」
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"Of course, what is it?"
「當然 是什麼事?」
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Good communication style is when you really engage with the other individual.
良好的溝通風格 是當你完全融入另一個人的談話之中
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Tip 5.
秘訣五
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Don't make assumptions.
不要預設立場
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Don't jump to conclusions when you're having a conversation with someone.
與人溝通的時候 不要直接跳到結論
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Don't assume you know what they're thinking or feeling about a particular topic.
不要設想自己了解對方 對一個特定主題的想法或是感受
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It seems you'll be alright there.
看來你在那應該會不錯
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Instead, it is much better to ask them:
相對的 我們最好問他們:
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if they're okay with this, if they feel alright about that.
你對這件事情OK嗎? 你對那件事感覺還好嗎?
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You really going to take into consideration that person's thoughts and beliefs
你應該把對方的想法與信念 納入考量
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rather than projecting your own thoughts or feelings on them.
而不是將自己的想法與感受 投射在他身上
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Tip 6.
秘訣六
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Avoid antagonistic sentences.
避免攻擊性的句子
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An example of antagonistic sentence is:
「攻擊性句子」的一個例子是
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"You're sitting in my chair"
「你坐在我的椅子上!」
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An antagonistic sentence can be seen as a form of attack.
具攻擊性的句子 可以被視為一種攻擊
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So it's much better and more constructive instead to use sentences such as:
所以情況會更好 更具建設性 假如你使用句子像:
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"Excuse me, I think you've taken my seat."
「不好意思 我想你坐到我的位子了」
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This is less confrontational.
這樣反抗意味就少了許多
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which will mean your life is full of a lot less conflicts.
也就是你的人生會少了更多的爭執