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Valentine's Day is coming up.
情人節快到了。
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But is the romance even still alive?
但是,這段戀情還在嗎?
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You bet your sweet box of chocolates.
你打賭,你的甜蜜巧克力盒。
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It is so kickback.
它是如此回扣。
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Strip off your PPE and enjoy a late shows quarry man Tick Valentine's Day tips.
脫掉你的PPE,享受晚間表演採石人Tick情人節技巧。
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Just because you and your sweetheart can't be together doesn't mean your drones can't be together.
你和你的夫妻不能在一起,不代表你的無人機不能在一起。
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Just remember to keep those frisky flying bots away from power lines, trees and old women's hairdos alone.
只要記得讓那些活潑的飛行機器人遠離電線、樹木和老婦人的頭髮就可以了。
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This year, you can still enjoy a nice candle lit dinner.
今年,你仍然可以享受一頓美好的燭光晚餐。
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It's romantic and doesn't taste that bad once you get past the wax.
很浪漫,只要過了蠟,味道就不會那麼差。
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Plus, if you end up at the hospital, you might meet a nice doctor.
另外,如果你最後在醫院,你可能會遇到一個好醫生。
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Feeling lonely slaps, um, googly eyes on a plant and instant company.
感覺到寂寞的一巴掌,嗯,googly eyes on a plant and instant company。
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But take things slow.
但要慢慢來。
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He's still getting over his divorce.
他還沒從離婚的陰影中走出來。
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If you're quarantining with your special, someone spice things up by changing out of your everyday sweatpants and into your erotic crotchless sweatpants.
如果你正在和你的特別的人隔離,有人通過改變你的日常運動褲,換上你的情色無襠運動褲,來為你的事情加分。
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Feeling nostalgic for those candy hearts?
覺得很懷念那些糖果心?
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Treat yourself.
對待自己。
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You deserve it.
你應該得到它。
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Maybe even share them with your plant.
也許還可以和你的工廠分享。
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You to really seemed to hit it off a dinner.
你真的似乎打它關閉一個晚餐。
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Make the night special by sprucing up your own bed with a shower of rose petals.
用玫瑰花瓣雨來點綴自己的床,讓這個夜晚變得特別。
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Then do laundry.
然後洗衣服。
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Seriously, Wash your sheets.
說真的,洗你的床單。
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It's been months.
已經好幾個月了
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And who knows?
誰知道呢?
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This could be one of the happiest days of your life because maybe you'll finally popped the question.
這可能是你一生中最幸福的日子之一,因為也許你終於會提出問題了。
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Yes, yes, 1000 times, Yes, above all.
是的,是的,1000次,是的,最重要的是。
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Remember, on this Valentine's Day, there are many ways to be a hero.
請記住,在這個情人節,有很多方法可以成為英雄。
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Staying home alone to watch porn can save lives.
一個人呆在家裡看黃片可以救命。
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This one's for you first responders.
這是給你們這些急救人員的。
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Happy Valentine's Day, I mean.
我的意思是,情人節快樂。