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  • -Thank you so much.

    -太謝謝你了

  • And welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."

    歡迎,歡迎,歡迎,歡迎來到 "今夜秀"。

  • [ Cheers and applause ] That's right!

    [歡呼聲和掌聲] 這是正確的!

  • Well, guys, today in Washington,

    好了,夥計們,今天在華盛頓。

  • President Biden met virtually

    拜登總統幾乎會見了

  • with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau

    與加拿大總理特魯多

  • for the first time since taking office.

    上任以來首次。

  • Yeah, Biden did the best he could

    是啊,拜登已經盡力了

  • to fix our relationship with Canada.

    以修復我們與加拿大的關係。

  • He was like, "Hey, about the last four years...

    他說,"嘿,關於過去四年... ...

  • [Canadian accent] ...sorry."

    [加拿大口音] ...對不起。"

  • In response, Trudeau was like,

    對此,特魯多就像。

  • "On behalf of Canada, thank you for your friendship,

    "我代表加拿大感謝你的友誼。

  • for your support, and for taking Ted Cruz."

    感謝你的支持,並拿下泰德-克魯茲。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yep, Trudeau and Biden had a typical video chat

    是的,特魯多和拜登進行了典型的視頻哈拉

  • between a 49-year-old and a 78-year-old.

    一個49歲的老人和一個78歲的老人之間。

  • Trudeau spent the first 20 minutes

    特魯多在前20分鐘

  • trying to tell Biden he was on mute.

    試圖告訴拜登他開了靜音。

  • It's like -- "No. Stop yelling.

    這就像... "不,不要再叫了

  • God. Give me a pen. 'You're on mute.'"

    天啊,給我一支筆給我一支筆。'你是啞巴'。"

  • But it was a productive meeting,

    但這是一次富有成效的會議。

  • other than when Biden started talking about his second cousin

    除了當拜登開始談論他的二表哥時之外

  • who once went over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel.

    誰曾經在尼亞加拉大瀑布上用木桶。

  • "He survived, but he still hears rushing water every time he...

    "他活了下來,但他仍然每次聽到湍急的水聲... ...

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • ...touches wood."

    ......觸及木頭。"

  • "He's now down to only three nipples."

    "他現在只剩下三個乳頭了。"

  • Well, guys, this is exciting.

    好了,夥計們,這是令人興奮的。

  • The Golden Globes are this Sunday, and --

    金球獎在本週日舉行,而且... ...

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • It was just announced

    剛剛宣佈

  • that some front-line and essential workers

    部分一線工人和骨幹工人

  • have been invited to attend this year's event.

    已受邀參加今年的活動。

  • That should be a fun red carpet for the front-line workers.

    這對一線工人來說,應該是一個有趣的紅地毯。

  • "Who am I wearing?

    "我穿的是誰?

  • Dickies scrubs and the same PPE since June.

    Dickies的洗滌服和同樣的PPE從六月開始。

  • That's who I'm wearing."

    這就是我的穿著。"

  • They should be a really good crowd.

    他們應該是一個非常好的人群。

  • I mean, literally the only people on Earth

    我的意思是,從字面上看,地球上唯一的人。

  • who didn't spend the last year binge-watching every movie

    誰不花去年狂看每部電影。

  • and show that came out.

    並顯示,出來的。

  • Some more TV news.

    還有一些電視新聞。

  • Last night was a new episode of "The Bachelor,"

    昨晚是新一集的 "單身漢",。

  • and for one of the dates, Matt and Rachael went skydiving.

    其中一次約會,馬特和拉夏爾去跳傘。

  • This is real. Let's see how that went.

    這是真實的。讓我們來看看是如何進行的。

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • -Yeah, yeah!

    -是的,是的!

  • -Ohh!

    -哦!

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • -Wow. -Yeah.

    -哇哦-是啊

  • -Wow.

    -哇。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Somehow we can land a rover on Mars,

    我們可以在火星上登陸一個探測器

  • but we can't land a "Bachelor" contestant on Earth.

    但我們不能在地球上找到一個 "單身漢 "選手。

  • Gosh. Alex, can we just see just the end of that when she --

    天哪,亞歷克斯,我們能不能看到她...亞歷克斯,我們可以看到只是結束時,她 -

  • [ Laughter ] -Ohh!

    [笑]哦!

  • -[ Laughter ] -Oh, my gosh.

    -哦,我的天哪。

  • When she asked the instructor, "What gives, man?"

    當她問教官:"什麼給你,男人?"

  • He was like, "Wait. I thought you were the instructor."

    他說:"等等,我以為你是教官。"

  • I think Rachael was still a little out of it.

    我覺得瑞秋還是有點不適應。

  • When Matt handed her a rose, she said,

    當馬特遞給她一朵玫瑰時,她說。

  • "Yes, I will answer this phone.

    "是,我會接這個電話。

  • Yello? What's your problem?"

    葉洛?你有什麼問題?"

  • On the bright side, Matt could finally use

    從好的方面看,馬特終於可以利用

  • that lame pickup line,

    那蹩腳的接機線。

  • "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

    "你從天上掉下來的時候疼嗎?

  • And smacked into the Earth?"

    還砸到地球上了?"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yep, it was --

    是的,這是 -

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Rim shot ]

    [Rim shot]

  • It was hometowns week on "The Bachelor" last night,

    昨晚的 "單身漢 "是家鄉周。

  • and things got pretty intense.

    事情變得相當激烈。

  • The emotions on that show can be a little hard

    節目中的情緒可能會有點難受。

  • to handle sometimes, so I thought we could help.

    有時要處理,所以我想我們可以幫忙。

  • Here's a clip from the episode re-voiced

    這裡有一段劇情的片段,是重新配音的

  • with the least emotional person we know -- Siri.

    與我們所知道的最沒有感情的人--Siri。

  • This is "Let's Get Siri-ous."

    這是 "讓我們得到Siri-ous。"

  • -Let's Get Siri-ous.

    -讓我們的Siri-ous。

  • -Siri: After talking to my mom and Bri...

    -西里在跟我媽媽和布麗...

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • Ohh.

    哦。

  • So, like, I feel...

    所以,喜歡,我覺得...

  • like...

    喜歡...

  • I'm falling in love with you.

    我愛上了你。

  • Thank you for sharing that with me tonight.

    謝謝你今晚與我分享。

  • [ Applause ]

    [掌聲]

  • -Some tech news.

    -一些科技新聞。

  • We're getting some details about what Apple

    我們正在瞭解一些細節,關於蘋果

  • might have planned for the next iPhone,

    可能已經為下一部iPhone計劃。

  • including portrait mode for video, an ultra-wide camera,

    包括視頻的人像模式、超廣角攝像頭。

  • and an attachable battery pack so you can charge on the go.

    和一個可連接的電池組,所以你可以在旅途中充電。

  • Right now, Ted Cruz's wife is like,

    現在,泰德-克魯茲的妻子就像。

  • "Is there a feature that tells you

    "有沒有一個功能可以告訴你

  • which one of your group-chat friends ratted you out?"

    你的哪位群聊好友出賣了你?"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Well, this is interesting.

    嗯,這很有趣。

  • The new iPhone is also rumored

    新iPhone也被傳出

  • to have a more grippy, textured back.

    要有一個更有抓地力、更有質感的背部。

  • Aww. The iPhone is aging just like the rest of us.

    啊iPhone和我們一樣,也在衰老。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • "Grippy, textured back."

    "抓地力強,有質感的背部。"

  • Get this. Since the pandemic has made it difficult

    得到這個。由於疫情讓人難以

  • for musicians to perform,

    供音樂家們表演。

  • a German rock band has started holding concerts in their van

    德國搖滾樂隊開始在他們的麵包車裡舉行音樂會。

  • for just one fan at a time.

    為的只是一個粉絲的時間。

  • Yeah, it's a German band named "Das Awkward."

    是啊,這是一個德國樂隊叫 "Das Awkward"。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • That seems less like a concert

    這似乎不太像一場音樂會

  • and more like a hostage situation, doesn't it?

    而且更像是人質的情況,不是嗎?

  • When they take requests, the most popular one is,

    當他們接受請求時,最受歡迎的是。

  • "Let Me Out."

    "讓我出去"

  • Well, this is big.

    嗯,這是大。

  • I saw that New Jersey just legalized marijuana.

    我看到新澤西州的大麻剛剛合法化。

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • And here now on the line to discuss the historic moment

    現在在這裡上線討論歷史性的時刻。

  • is famous New Jersey resident Bruce Springsteen.

    是新澤西州著名的居民布魯斯-斯普林斯汀。

  • Bruce! Are you there?

    布魯斯,你在嗎?你在嗎?

  • -Yeah, hey, Jimmy. Going down to the --

    -是的,嘿,吉米。是的,嘿,吉米。

  • [ Incoherent mumbling ]

    [語無倫次的喃喃自語]

  • -Thanks for being here.

    -謝謝你來這裡

  • What do you think about weed being legal in Jersey?

    你覺得大麻在澤西合法嗎?

  • -Yeah, you know... [ Incoherent mumbling ]

    -是的,你知道...[語無倫次的喃喃自語]

  • -[ Laughter ] -That's great.

    -很好。

  • I saw that you have a podcast with President Obama.

    我看到你和奧巴馬總統有一個播客。

  • How's that going?

    進展如何?

  • -Yeah, it's going real good. [ Incoherent mumbling ]

    -是啊,這是怎麼回事真正的好。[語無倫次的喃喃自語]

  • You should, uh, buy a Jeep!

    你應該,呃,買一輛吉普車!

  • -Really? You have special guests, you say?

    -真的嗎?你說你有特別的客人?

  • Like who? Who's --

    像誰?誰的...

  • -[ Incoherent mumbling ]

    -[語無倫次的喃喃自語]

  • -Wow. It's Bob Dylan. Bob, how's it going?

    -哇。是鮑勃-迪倫鮑勃,你好嗎?

  • -[ Bob Dylan mumbling incoherently ]

    [鮑勃-迪倫語無倫次地喃喃自語]

  • [ Bruce Springsteen mumbling incoherently ]

    [布魯斯-斯普林斯汀喃喃自語語無倫次]

  • -[ Bob Dylan mumbling incoherently ]

    [鮑勃-迪倫語無倫次地喃喃自語]

  • [ Both mumbling incoherently ]

    [兩者喃喃自語語無倫次]

  • -[ Chuckles ] Well, do you guys

    -好吧,你們有沒有

  • have any final thoughts about weed being legal?

    有任何最後的想法 關於雜草是合法的?

  • [ Both laughing ]

    [兩個笑]

  • -Laughing Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen, everybody.

    鮑勃-迪倫和布魯斯-斯普林斯汀,大家一起笑吧。

  • Thanks. Amazing that we got them on the line.

    謝謝,我們能讓他們上線就很了不起了。我們能讓他們上線就很了不起了。

  • Some local news.

    一些在地新聞。

  • I read that yesterday a thief here in New York City

    我昨天讀到紐約市的一個小偷的消息

  • stole almost $60,000 worth of cigars.

    偷了價值近6萬元的雪茄。

  • Right now the suspect is said to be armed, dangerous,

    現在據說嫌疑人持有武器,很危險。

  • and brutal to ride an elevator with.

    和殘忍的坐電梯。

  • $60,000 worth of cigars.

    價值6萬美元的雪茄。

  • Don't worry. Police have already narrowed down the suspects

    別擔心,警方已經縮小了嫌疑人的範圍 Don't worry.警方已經縮小了嫌疑人的範圍

  • to every dad in Staten Island.

    給史坦頓島的每一個父親。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • And finally, in Pakistan, police officers

    最後,在巴基斯坦,警察

  • are using an interesting new method

    正在使用一種有趣的新方法

  • to try and catch criminals. Watch this.

    試圖抓住罪犯。看這個。

  • -[ Laughter ] -Wait.

    -等等

  • -Those guys make mall cops on Segways

    -這些傢伙在賽格威上做了商場警察

  • look like SEAL Team Six.

    看起來像海豹六隊。

  • It was as if the police chief was like,

    彷彿警察局長就像。

  • "Nope. Not lame enough.

    "不,不。不夠蹩腳。

  • Everyone grab the hips of the guy in front of them."

    每個人都抓住前面那個人的臀部。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • [ Imitating conga music ]

    [模仿康加音樂]

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • So, hey, if you want to avoid police in Pakistan,

    所以,嘿,如果你想在巴基斯坦避開警察。

  • just run up a hill.

    只是跑上山。

-Thank you so much.

-太謝謝你了

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拜登與特魯多會面,新澤西州大麻合法化|今夜秀場 (Biden Meets with Trudeau, New Jersey Legalizes Marijuana | The Tonight Show)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 02 月 24 日
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