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  • -Welcome back, everybody.

    -歡迎回來,各位。

  • I'm about to show you some books

    我給你看幾本書

  • that you should avoid at all costs.

    你應該不惜一切代價避免的。

  • It's time for my latest installment

    現在是我的最新一期節目

  • of my Do Not Read List. Here we go.

    我的 "不讀名單"。我們開始吧

  • Do not read, do not read

    不讀,不讀

  • Do not read these books, these books

    不要讀這些書,這些書

  • -And before we start, I just want you all to know

    -在我們開始之前,我只想讓大家知道

  • that every book that I'm about to show you is 100% real.

    我給你看的每本書都是100%真實的。

  • These are actual books. You can find them on Amazon

    這些都是真正的書。你可以在亞馬遜上找到它們

  • or wherever you get your books from.

    或者你從哪裡得到你的書。

  • These are real.

    這些都是真的。

  • Let's see what's on my Do Not Read list.

    讓我們看看我的 "不讀名單 "上有什麼。

  • This first one up here is a book called

    這上面第一個是一本書,叫

  • "Computer Programs for the Kitchen"...

    "廚房電腦程序"... ...

  • [ Laughter ] by Terence F. Dicker.

    [笑聲]由Terence F. Dicker撰寫。

  • There's -- There's Terence Dicker.

    那是... 那是Terence Dicker.

  • He's got his computer out on the table

    他把他的電腦放在桌子上

  • next to all the food he made.

    旁邊所有的食物,他做。

  • You can barely tell the computer's out there.

    你幾乎看不出電腦的存在。

  • I get -- I get hangry just looking at it.

    我... 我光是看著它就覺得噁心。

  • Let's -- Oh, look at the back here.

    讓我們... ... 哦,看後面這裡。

  • It says, "Exciting ways to ease

    它說:"令人激動的方式來緩解

  • kitchen and cooking chores with a personal computer."

    廚房和做飯的家務活,用個人電腦。"

  • Let's see an example.

    我們來看一個例子。

  • Oh, here's one right here.

    哦,這裡有一個就在這裡。

  • Keeping track of your kitchen inventory

    跟蹤您的廚房庫存

  • by hand-typing a 26-page computer program...

    通過手打26頁的電腦程序... ...

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • ...that has probably almost 4,000 lines of code.

    ...大概有近4000行代碼。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • So that will save me a ton of time.

    所以,這將節省我大量的時間。

  • That's pretty cool.

    這是非常酷的。

  • Thanks. Thanks, Chef Dicker.

    謝謝,謝謝,迪克大廚謝謝,迪克大廚

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Next book... [ Applause ]

    下本書...[掌聲]

  • ...is called, uh...

    ...被稱為,呃... ...

  • Oh, yeah. This is a good one here.

    哦,是的。這是一個很好的一個在這裡。

  • This is called "The Educated Cat:

    這就是所謂的 "教育貓"。

  • How to Teach Your Cat to do Tricks."

    如何教你的貓咪做技巧。"

  • Uh, yeah.

    嗯,是的。

  • Like apparently playing a dueling piano

    就像明顯的彈鋼琴決鬥

  • at an old saloon, maybe. For cats.

    在一個老酒館,也許。對於貓來說。

  • Let's see what other tricks you got in here.

    讓我們看看你還有什麼花樣。

  • I love cat tricks, man.

    我喜歡貓的把戲,夥計。

  • Oh, this one's an interesting trick here.

    哦,這個是一個有趣的技巧在這裡。

  • It's two cats kind of crammed in a stroller.

    這是兩隻貓那種擠在嬰兒車裡。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • That's interesting.

    這很有趣。

  • Let's see what other tricks they got here.

    讓我們看看他們還有什麼花樣。

  • -That was the trick? [ Laughter ]

    -這就是訣竅?[笑聲]

  • -Yeah, that's the trick. [ Laughter ]

    -是的,這就是訣竅。[笑聲]

  • Here's another trick here. This is a good one.

    這裡還有一招。這是個好辦法

  • It's another cat in a stroller. [ Laughter ]

    這是另一個貓在嬰兒車。[笑聲]

  • They put the glasses on the cat. -I see.

    他們給貓戴上了眼鏡-我明白了

  • -Oh, man.

    -哦,夥計

  • -"America's Got Talent," are you watching?

    -《美國達人秀》,你在看嗎?

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Some good tricks, man. [ Applause ]

    一些好的技巧,男人。[掌聲]

  • "You tricked me, man.

    "你騙了我,夥計。

  • I thought you had a cat in the stroller."

    我以為你的嬰兒車裡有一隻貓。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • "I did, actually."

    "其實我是這麼做的。"

  • I thought it didn't have 20/20 vision.

    我以為它沒有20/20的視野。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • He tricked you again.

    他又騙了你。

  • He's perfectly fine. [ Laughter ]

    他是完美的罰款。[笑聲]

  • Good. Good stuff. Let's check out another one.

    好,好東西好東西。讓我們來看看另一個。

  • This one's a children's book.

    這本是一本兒童讀物。

  • It's called "Mac's Choice:

    這就是所謂的 "麥克的選擇"。

  • A Story About Choices and Drug Use."

    一個關於選擇和吸毒的故事。"

  • There's a caterpillar and a cockroach on the cover there.

    封面上有一條毛毛蟲和一隻蟑螂。

  • This is cool. I saw this earlier.

    這是很酷的。我剛才看到了這個。

  • It's signed by the author,

    這是作者的簽名。

  • and gifted to a kid by an aluminum company.

    並被一家鋁業公司贈送給了一個孩子。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Makes sense.

    有道理。

  • Let's just go to the end here, see what happens here.

    讓我們走到這裡的盡頭,看看這裡會發生什麼。

  • It says, "Mac was all alone now.

    上面寫著:"麥克現在只有一個人。

  • He started to shake badly as his body craved more cocaine."

    他開始嚴重顫抖,因為他的身體渴望更多的可卡因。"

  • [ Laughter ] -Wait. What?

    [笑] 等待。等等,什麼?

  • -"Anyway, good night, kids." [ Laughter ]

    -"無論如何,晚安,孩子們。"[笑聲] - "無論如何,晚安,孩子們。

  • Turn the lights off.

    把燈關掉。

  • [ Laughter continues ]

    [笑聲繼續]

  • -Wait. -Have a good night's sleep.

    -等一下 睡個好覺吧

  • Next is a young adult novel. They're always popular.

    下一個是青春小說。他們總是很受歡迎。

  • They're always having helpful lessons about growing up, life.

    他們總是有關於成長、生活的有益經驗。

  • This one should help, as well.

    這個應該也有幫助。

  • This one is called "Mom is Dating Weird Wayne."

    這個叫 "媽媽在和怪異的韋恩約會"。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Look, we've all been there. Mom is looking for love,

    你看,我們都有過這樣的經歷。媽媽正在尋找愛。

  • hits the dating scene, and suddenly a dude

    在約會現場,突然一個傢伙

  • dressed up as Dracula starts coming over for dinner.

    穿成德古拉的樣子,開始過來吃飯。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • "If you vant to, you can call me dad."

    "如果你想,你可以叫我爸爸。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • "We're not there yet.

    "我們還沒到那一步。

  • We're not there yet, dad.

    我們還沒到那一步,爸爸

  • So I'm gonna call you Vlad."

    所以我要叫你弗拉德。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • We're down to our last book, guys, unfortunately.

    不幸的是,我們只剩下最後一本書了,夥計們。

  • This is a -- Please. -Oh.

    這是一個...-哦

  • -Come on, man. -Anyway, look,

    -來吧,夥計-好了,看吧

  • there's other things we have to get to.

    還有其他的事情,我們必須得到。

  • There's interviews, there's a show.

    有采訪,有表演。

  • You know, it's a busy week, you know?

    你知道,這是一個忙碌的一週,你知道嗎?

  • -Okay. So we're down to our last book.

    -好吧,我們只剩下最後一本書了。

  • It's a how-to book.

    這是一本如何操作的書。

  • It's called "Two-Hour Vests," by Mary Jo Hiney.

    叫做 "兩小時馬甲",作者是瑪麗-喬-希尼。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Vests I can make in two hours?

    馬甲我可以在兩個小時內做好?

  • Now we're talking.

    現在,我們正在談論。

  • Let's see what we can make here.

    讓我們看看我們能在這裡做什麼。

  • There's a lot of them.

    有很多人。

  • We have the "Young at Heart," the "Now and Forever,"

    我們有 "年輕的心","現在和永遠"。

  • "Moments in Time," "Breath of Fresh Air."

    "時間的瞬間","呼吸新鮮空氣"。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Let's see that one.

    讓我們看看那個。

  • "Breath of Fresh Air," which is nice and breezy there.

    "呼吸新鮮空氣",那裡很好,很輕快。

  • Ooh, yeah, look at this.

    哦,是的,看看這個。

  • Yeah, that makes sense. Because when I think of

    是啊,這是有道理的。因為當我想到

  • "fresh air" I think of the color brown.

    "新鮮的空氣 "我想到的是棕色。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Kamal, can I get some "fresh air" music, please?

    卡馬爾,能給我來點 "新鮮空氣 "音樂嗎?

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • Let's read this right here.

    讓我們在這裡讀這個。

  • "Breath of fresh air.

    "呼吸到了新鮮的空氣。

  • Small talk smothers you.

    閒言碎語讓你窒息。

  • You prefer quiet company.

    你更喜歡安靜的陪伴。

  • Soft and simple contemplation by the fire.

    柔和而簡單的火堆旁的沉思。

  • To all who love you,

    致所有愛你的人。

  • your serenity and ease are a breath of fresh air."

    你的寧靜和自在讓人心曠神怡。"

  • Yeah. "Your vest speaks softly

    是啊。"你的馬甲說得很輕柔

  • of the comfort that you desire."

    的安慰,你想要的"。

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • So by wearing it, you're the breath of fresh air.

    所以,穿上它,你就是呼吸到了新鮮空氣。

  • -Ah, yeah. -You get it now?

    -啊,是的-你現在明白了?

  • -Yeah, yeah.

    -是的,是的。

  • -That's all the time we have for "Do Not Read."

    -這就是我們 "不要讀 "的全部時間。

  • If you have a book that you think should be on

    如果你有一本書,你認為應該放在

  • our next Do Not Read list, send your titles to

    我們的下一個 "不讀清單",請將您的書目寄至

  • donotread@tonightshow.com.

    donotread@tonightshow.com。

  • Stick around. We'll be right back with Shailene Woodley.

    留下來吧我們馬上回來和Shailene Woodley見面。

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • -Took two hours. Two hours -- that's it.

    -花了兩個小時兩小時... 就這樣

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

-Welcome back, everybody.

-歡迎回來,各位。

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請勿閱讀。《有教養的貓》 (Do Not Read: The Educated Cat)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 02 月 23 日
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