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Democrats in Washington are clashing
華盛頓的民主黨人正在發生衝突
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over student loan forgiveness
貸款減免問題
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after President Biden said he would not
在拜登總統說他不會
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issue an executive order forgiving $50,000 in student loans.
發佈行政命令,免除5萬美元的學生貸款。
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Yeah.
是啊。
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Party leaders are strongly asking
黨政領導強烈要求
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President Biden to reconsider,
拜登總統重新考慮。
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and they're not the only ones
不只是他們
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with a message for President Biden,
並給拜登總統留言。
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a lot of young people are upset.
很多年輕人都不高興。
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Apparently even my assistant Sona Movsesian
顯然,連我的助手索娜-莫夫謝斯安也是如此。
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has something she would like to say, Sona.
有什麼東西,她想說,索納。
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Thanks Conan.
謝謝柯南
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By the way, Sona,
順便說一下,Sona。
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I didn't know that you were that political.
我不知道你有那麼強的政治性。
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I'm not,
我沒有
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but as someone who had a lot of student loan debt,
但作為一個有很多助學貸款的人。
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I really wanted to weigh in on this.
我真的很想參與這個問題。
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Terrific, you have the floor.
太棒了,你有地板。
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Go ahead
來吧,來吧
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And urge President Biden, not to forgive student loans.
並敦促拜登總統,不要免除學生貸款。
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Wait a minute,
等一下
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you don't want him to forgive student loans?
你不想讓他免除學生貸款?
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That's what I just said.
這就是我剛才說的。
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You see if I didn't have crippling debt
你看,如果我沒有負債累累的話
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coming out of college, I might not have been forced
大學畢業後,我可能不會被迫
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to take this job as your assistant,
擔任你的助手
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which I have spent all of my formative years doing.
我的所有成長歲月都在做這件事。
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Yeah, that's true.
是的,這是真的。
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Without student loans,
沒有學生貸款。
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I might've been able to pursue one of my real passions,
我可能已經能夠追求 我真正的激情之一。
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like documentary filmmaking.
如紀錄片製作。
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Instead I'm here spreading hummus on a gluten-free tortilla
而我卻在無麩質玉米餅上撒鷹嘴豆泥。
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just the way you like it.
只是你喜歡的方式。
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Not too much hummus, okay?
不要太多鷹嘴豆泥,好嗎?
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It's a really strong flavor.
這味道真的很濃。
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Yeah, thin layer
是啊,薄薄的一層
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By now I might've been able
現在我可能已經能夠
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to direct an award-winning film
執導獲獎影片
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about a girl's school in Afghanistan,
關於阿富汗的一所女子學校。
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but instead I'm driving around the city,
但我卻在城市裡兜風。
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looking for a chest merkin in that matches your hair color
尋找與你的頭髮顏色相匹配的胸罩梅爾金。
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in case you decide to wear a v-neck
以防你決定穿V領的衣服。
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It's important, the hairs show.
這很重要,毛髮露出來了。
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Do they have one for down below?
下面的人有嗎?
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(laughing)
(笑)
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Come on Sona, you have to admit
來吧索納,你必須承認
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the job does have its perks,
這工作確實有它的好處。
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you get to be on a hit podcast,
你可以在一個熱門播客。
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you get to appear on national television.
你可以出現在國家電視臺。
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I love being famous enough
我喜歡出名
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to be on the walls of dry cleaners in Glendale
在格倫代爾的乾洗店的牆壁上。
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and have grown men rating my feet on WikiFeet.
並讓成年男子在WikiFeet上評價我的腳。
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4.6.
4.6.
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That's a pretty good rating.
這是一個相當不錯的評價。
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(grunting)
(叫聲)
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God.
上帝啊
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In fact, I love it so much
其實,我很喜歡它
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that I want to give this opportunity to other students too.
我想把這個機會也給其他學生。
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So please President Biden, don't cancel student debt
所以請拜登總統不要取消學生債務
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and allow students to pursue their dreams.
並讓學生追求自己的夢想。
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Make sure they're desperate enough
確保他們足夠絕望
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to take any assistant job that comes their way.
以接受任何助理的工作,他們的方式。
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Then one of them will have to take over this job for me
那他們中的一個人就得替我做這件事了
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and I can finally do something I enjoy.
我終於可以做一些我喜歡的事情。
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Thanks.
謝謝你
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Yeah, thank you Sona.
是啊,謝謝你Sona。
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By the way you're fired.
對了,你被解僱了。
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I wish!
我也想!
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(screaming)
(尖叫)
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All right, well, listen,
好吧,好吧,聽著。
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we've got a great show tonight.
我們已經得到了一個偉大的演出今晚。
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Wanda Sykes gonna be joining us.
萬達-賽克斯會加入我們
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We'll take a break.
我們要休息一下。
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We'll be right back.
我們馬上回來。
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Terrific job, Sona.
太棒了,索娜。
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Make sure, do they have that for the low back too?
確定一下,他們的腰部也有這個功能嗎?
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I've got a little tuft there that needs a placing.
我那裡有一小簇需要安置。
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(laughing)
(笑)
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What's wrong with you.
你怎麼了
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[Conan] Well, it's true. It's, it's so orange.
是真的,是真的它是,它是如此的橙色。