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  • -Our next guest is the host

    -下一位嘉賓是主持人

  • of "Love About Town," available at Apple Podcasts.

    的《愛滿全城》,可在蘋果播客。

  • Making her television debut,

    首次在電視上亮相。

  • please welcome the very funny Kenice Mobley.

    請歡迎非常有趣的Kenice Mobley。

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • -Hello. Hello. Hi. Hi.

    -你好你好,你好嗨,嗨

  • I see a couple of men here. A couple.

    我在這裡看到一對夫婦的男人。一對夫婦。

  • I do need to warn all of the men, okay?

    我確實需要警告所有的男人,好嗎?

  • The second all this is over,

    這一切結束的第二。

  • I'm making out with everyone, okay?

    我和大家親熱,好嗎?

  • Everyone.

    每個人都有。

  • I saw a couple kissing on the street,

    我看到一對情侶在街上接吻。

  • and my first thought was, "Let me get in on that."

    我的第一個想法是, "讓我在這一點。"

  • They did not like that. Okay.

    他們不喜歡這樣。好吧。

  • They don't like it when you say that to them.

    他們不喜歡你對他們說這些。

  • They're against it.

    他們反對。

  • I am single right now, okay, at this moment.

    我現在是單身,好吧,此時此刻。

  • But according to rom-com logic, I did go up to my roof

    但根據愛情片的邏輯,我確實上了我的屋頂

  • and I shouted, "I don't need a man!"

    我大喊:"我不需要男人!"

  • and, "I never want to get married!"

    和,"我永遠不想結婚!"

  • So he should be coming at any moment. Okay?

    所以,他應該是來 在任何時刻。好嗎?

  • Do you guys, like, hear a helicopter?

    你們聽到直升機的聲音了嗎?

  • I think he's on his way. I just --

    我想他已經在路上了我只是...

  • I feel confident about it.

    我對此充滿信心。

  • Look, truly, I don't know if I ever want to get married,

    你看,真的,我不知道如果我曾經想結婚。

  • but I do know that I want my death

    但我知道,我希望我的死亡

  • to ruin a man's life...

    毀掉一個人的生活... ...

  • to the point where he has to do paperwork.

    到了他要做文書工作的地步。

  • That's important to me. It is. It's very important to me.

    這對我很重要。它是。這對我來說非常重要。

  • I do see people I date from time to time.

    我確實時常看到我約會的人。

  • I told my mom about one of the guys that I'm seeing,

    我跟我媽說了我的一個約會對象的事

  • and she was like, "Oh, that's nice, Kenice,

    她很喜歡,"哦,這是很好的,Kenice。

  • but, um, quick question.

    但是,嗯,快速的問題。

  • Is he...

    他是...

  • or...?"

    還是...?"

  • Some of you look a little confused.

    你們有些人看起來有點糊塗。

  • Yes, this is the white side of my hand,

    是的,這是我手的白麵。

  • this is the black side of my hand.

    這是我手的黑色一面。

  • -Woman: Whoo! -Yes, yes, yes.

    -女人:是的,是的,是的-是的,是的,是的。

  • Which -- I think it's funny that, to my mom,

    這... ... 我覺得這很有趣,對我媽來說。

  • there are only two races of people.

    只有兩個種族的人。

  • What I actually said was, "Why, yes, Mom!

    其實我說的是:"為什麼,是的,媽媽!

  • This time I got one with hands and everything, so..."

    這次我得到了一個有手的,什麼都有,所以......"

  • No, me and that guy pretty seriously

    不,我和那個傢伙很認真

  • had the family conversation where I was talking about

    有家庭談話,我在那裡談論

  • starting one and he was letting me know

    開始一個,他讓我知道

  • that he already had a wife and child, so fun times, fun times.

    他已經有了妻子和孩子, 所以有趣的時間,有趣的時間。

  • Completely unrelated question --

    完全不相關的問題 -- --

  • where do you guys stand on dogs with people names?

    你們對人名狗的立場是什麼?

  • Some shrugging. Some side to side.

    有的聳肩。有的側著身子。

  • I don't know what that means. Okay, it's a mix.

    我不知道那是什麼意思好吧,這是一個混合。

  • It's a mix. All right.

    這是一個混合。好吧,我知道了

  • I am for it, okay? I am for it.

    我支持它,好嗎?我是支持的

  • I am for it because I think

    我支持它,因為我認為

  • it makes it clear who is okay with slavery.

    這讓人明白,誰對奴隸制沒意見。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • No, because if you are willing to take a living being,

    不,因為如果你願意拿一個生命體。

  • you know, and name it Stephanie and put it in your basement

    你知道的,給它取名斯蒂芬妮,把它放在你的地下室裡。

  • and tell it when it can eat and who it can love,

    並告訴它什麼時候可以吃飯,可以愛誰。

  • I just don't think that's a far stretch to owning people, okay?

    我只是覺得這和擁有人並不遙遠,好嗎?

  • I think about slavery a lot.

    我經常想到奴隸制。

  • Because as I'm walking around, minding my own business,

    因為當我走來走去,管好自己的事。

  • I am constantly told

    我經常被告知

  • that I look like different civil-rights activists.

    我看起來像不同的民權活動家。

  • [ Scattered laughter ]

    [分散的笑聲]

  • And it needs to stop.

    而且需要停止。

  • That's rude that people would say that to me.

    人們會對我這麼說,這很不禮貌。

  • And I will take a smattering of laughter

    我還會帶著一絲笑意。

  • because what happens far too often is a roomful of people

    因為經常發生的情況是一屋子的人

  • who just start shouting out suggestions.

    誰只是開始喊出建議。

  • Just "Sojourner Truth! Ida B. Wells! Bessie Coleman!"

    只是 "索居者的真理!Ida B. Wells!貝西-科爾曼!"

  • The one that I get the most, the one that I've gotten

    我得到的最多的是,我得到的最多的是。

  • five times this year is that I look like Harriet Tubman.

    今年有五次是我看起來像哈里特-塔布曼。

  • -Woman: Aww. -I will take -- Aww. Thank you.

    -女人。啊-我將採取...Aww. - Thank you.

  • I will take your, "Aww, no," because what's happened

    我會接受你的 "啊,不,"因為發生了什麼事?

  • far too often -- Recently, it was terrible.

    太頻繁了 -- 最近,太可怕了。

  • A man just was like...

    一個男人就像...

  • "Yes! Ohh!"

    "好!哦!"

  • Like he had been sitting there my whole set like,

    就像他一直坐在那裡我的整個設置一樣。

  • "Mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh, mnh-mnh. No.

    "姆姆姆,姆姆姆,姆姆姆。麼麼噠,麼麼噠,麼麼噠。

  • Why do I think of emancipation

    我為什麼會想到解放?

  • every time I look at that woman?"

    每次我看那個女人的時候?"

  • And I explained it to him,

    我向他解釋了。

  • and he felt seen and I felt deeply hurt.

    他覺得自己被看穿了,而我覺得自己被深深地傷害了。

  • It's frustrating for a lot of reasons.

    這讓人沮喪的原因有很多。

  • One, because when people are thinking of Harriet Tubman,

    第一,因為當人們想到哈麗特-塔布曼時,

  • they're thinking of an illustration.

    他們在想一個插圖。

  • An illustration of an 80-year-old woman.

    一個80歲老太太的插圖。

  • And it's like I know I look tired, okay?

    就像我知道我看起來很累,好嗎?

  • I know, I know.

    我知道,我知道。

  • But is this the type of exhaustion that could only come

    但這是那種只能來的疲憊嗎?

  • from picking cotton in a field?

    從在田裡摘棉花?

  • Is that -- Is that what my face is giving?

    那是... ... 那是我臉上的表情嗎?

  • And people are like, "Come on, Kenice, no.

    人們都說:"別這樣,凱尼斯,不。

  • It's the glasses. It's the glasses."

    是眼鏡。是眼鏡。"

  • And it's like, "Oh, o-okay, it's...

    它就像,"哦,好吧,這是... ...

  • it's just that Harriet Tubman didn't wear glasses."

    只是哈麗特-塔布曼沒有戴眼鏡。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • What would she need them for?

    她需要它們做什麼?

  • All that reading she couldn't do?

    所有的閱讀她都做不到?

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

    [歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • -Kenice Mobley.

    肯尼斯-莫布里

  • For more info, go to kenicemobley.com.

    更多資訊,請訪問kenicemobley.com。

-Our next guest is the host

-下一位嘉賓是主持人

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Kenice Mobley Stand-Up (Kenice Mobley Stand-Up)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 02 月 23 日
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