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  • - As I said before, I don't like talking about politics

    - 我之前說過,我不喜歡談論政治。

  • on stage or off stage

    臺上臺下

  • 'cause I don't like talking about things

    因為我不喜歡談論的東西。

  • I don't feel like I'm truly knowledgeable in.

    我覺得自己沒有真正的知識在。

  • But I do now this.

    但我現在這樣做。

  • Our government is placed in charge of all of its people.

    我們的政府被安排負責所有的人民。

  • I'm a father who's been placed in charge of just one son.

    我是一個被安排只負責一個兒子的父親。

  • And I lie to that nigger all the time.

    我一直在對那個黑鬼撒謊。

  • (audience laughing) (upbeat instrumental music)

    (觀眾笑)(歡快的器樂)。

  • (audience cheering)

    (觀眾歡呼)

  • I'm happy in general.

    總的來說,我很開心。

  • My son just turned 10 years old.

    我兒子剛滿10歲。

  • (audience cheering)

    (觀眾歡呼)

  • Thank you.

    謝謝你了

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • It's been a pleasure watching him grow up

    看著他長大,我很高興

  • from a little bitty baby

    從一個小小的嬰兒

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • into a 10 year old (beep) psychopath.

    變成一個10歲的(嗶)精神病患者。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • And you can chart his descent into madness

    你可以看到他的瘋狂下墜的過程

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • by how he's changed his stance on pinatas.

    由他如何改變他的立場 在Pinatas。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • 'Cause when he was a toddler, he was terrified of pinatas

    因為當他還是個孩子的時候,他很害怕皮納塔斯。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • and it was my job to vanquish them.

    而我的工作就是征服他們。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Now, he treats opinion like he's a mob boss from New Jersey

    現在,他對待輿論就像對待新澤西州的黑幫老大一樣。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • and Optimus Prime owes him several thousand dollars.

    而擎天柱欠他幾千塊錢。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • He works it across the knees for a little bit,

    他在膝蓋上練習了一下。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • takes a break so he can kiss his mother

    休息一下,以便他可以親吻他的母親

  • and pay some respect,

    並給予一定的尊重。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • then he bashes in the skull

    然後,他打在頭骨

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • and I take pictures and post it on my Facebook.

    我拍下照片,然後發到我的Facebook上。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • So, my son is 10, which is wonderful.

    所以,我的兒子已經10歲了,這真是太好了。

  • He has autism, which can be difficult.

    他有自閉症,這可能是困難的。

  • He's also a huge (beep).

    他也是個大(嗶)。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • (Ron giggling)

    (羅恩傻笑)

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Some people don't like it when I call

    有些人不喜歡它,當我打電話給...

  • my 10 year old disabled child an (beep).

    我10歲的殘疾孩子一個(嗶)。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • To which I always respond,

    我總是這樣回答。

  • "If you only use 30 words and your three favorite are,

    "如果你只用30個字,而你最喜歡的三個字是。

  • "'More pancakes, biatch.'"

    "再來點煎餅,賤貨。"

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Actually, that's pretty cool.

    其實,這很酷。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • (image whooshing)

    (影像嗖嗖)

  • I'm glad I moved to Oregon.

    我很高興我搬到了俄勒岡州。

  • I got to try some things.

    我得嘗試一些事情。

  • I now love and enjoy like ice coffees.

    我現在喜歡並享受喜歡冰咖啡。

  • (audience laughing) - Yeah.

    (觀眾笑) 是啊。

  • - Or white women.

    - 或者是白人女性。

  • Those of both great.

    這些的都大。

  • (audience cheering)

    (觀眾歡呼)

  • I'm just joking.

    我只是在開玩笑。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Coffee is gross.

    咖啡很噁心。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Every time I drink any, I get really sick,

    每次我喝下任何東西,我都會很不舒服。

  • which leads me to believe I must be allergic to energy.

    這讓我相信我一定是對能量過敏。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Which I later found out is not something you can put

    我後來發現,這不是你可以把。

  • on a medical marijuana application.

    在醫用大麻申請上。

  • (audience laughing) - Yeah.

    (觀眾笑) 是啊。

  • - I have a cousin that's very sensitive about racism.

    - 我有個表弟對種族主義非常敏感。

  • He called me one day 'cause he was quite upset

    有一天,他打電話給我,因為他很不高興。

  • that he went to a tuba recital where he was one

    他去了一個大號演奏會,在那裡他是一個。

  • of only three Black tuba players,

    僅有的三名黑人大號手中。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • and he thought that was racist.

    他認為這是種族主義。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • And I wanted to agree,

    我也想同意。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • but then I realized three Black tuba players

    但後來我發現有三個黑人大號手

  • is a lot of fucking Black tuba players.

    是很多他媽的黑人大號手。

  • (audience laughing) (audience clapping)

    (觀眾笑) (觀眾鼓掌)。

  • it is about time someone said it.

    時不我待

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • If you see more than five Black tuba players

    如果你看到五個以上的黑人大喇叭手

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • you're watching an OutKast video.

    你正在看OutKast的視頻。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • (audience cheering)

    (觀眾歡呼)

  • It's been a wonderful year for me.

    這一年對我來說是美好的一年。

  • I recently turned 30.

    我最近30歲了。

  • (audience cheering) Thank you.

    (觀眾歡呼聲)謝謝你。

  • I like that I turned 30 'cause now I feel I'm gonna love

    我喜歡我30歲,因為現在我覺得我會愛上它

  • the things I enjoy until the day I die,

    我喜歡的東西,直到我死的那一天。

  • which is mostly ignorant rap music.

    其中大部分是無知的說唱音樂。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • (audience cheering)

    (觀眾歡呼)

  • If you can rhyme titties with titties

    如果你能把 "奶子 "和 "奶子 "押韻的話。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • I will buy your album.

    我會買你的專輯。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • (image whooshing)

    (影像嗖嗖)

  • Like why do I always have to prove to a robot

    就像為什麼我總是要向機器人證明一樣。

  • that I'm not a robot?

    我不是機器人?

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Why do you even care?

    你為什麼要關心?

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Who puts you up to this, robot?

    誰讓你這麼做的,機器人?

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • And how do you even want me to prove it?

    那你要我怎麼證明呢?

  • With a captcha?

    有驗證碼?

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • By putting in a series of random letters and numbers?

    通過把一系列隨機的字母和數字?

  • That sounds like something a robot would be pretty good at.

    這聽起來像是機器人會很擅長的事情。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • (audience clapping)

    (觀眾鼓掌)

  • I don't go up to my toaster and be like,

    我不會走到我的烤麵包機前,然後就像。

  • "Hey, prove to me you not my friend Craig right now?"

    "嘿,向我證明你現在不是我的朋友克雷格?"

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "You looking a little Craig-like to me."

    "你看起來有點像克雷格。"

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "Kinda acting like Craig."

    "有點像克雷格。"

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "Turning my bread into toast,

    "把我的麵包變成吐司。

  • "that's one of Craig's favorite thing."

    "這是克雷格最喜歡的事情之一。"

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "Oh, that is you, Craig!"

    "哦,那是你,克雷格!"

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "You love sitting on kitchen counters, dude."

    "你喜歡坐在廚房的臺子上,夥計。"

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Now, there's just certain people I have no time for,

    現在,只是有些人我沒有時間。

  • like if you're sexist or homophobic

    就像如果你是性別歧視或同性戀者

  • or if you don't believe in conspiracy theories.

    或者如果你不相信陰謀論。

  • (audience laughing) (audience cheering)

    (觀眾笑) (觀眾歡呼)

  • I just don't understand how do you not believe

    我只是不明白,你怎麼會不相信?

  • in any conspiracy theories.

    在任何陰謀論。

  • I understand not all of them, not most of them,

    我瞭解的不是全部,不是大部分。

  • but you don't believe in any conspiracy theories.

    但你不相信任何陰謀論。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • You just think the government's just batting a thousand

    你只是覺得政府只是在打千刀。

  • and telling us the whole truth.

    並告訴我們全部真相。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • That's a strong stance to take.

    這是一個強有力的立場。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • Again, as I said before, I don't like talking about politics

    我再說一遍,我之前說過,我不喜歡談論政治。

  • on stage or off stage

    臺上臺下

  • 'cause I don't like talking about things

    因為我不喜歡談論的東西。

  • I don't feel like I'm truly knowledgeable in.

    我覺得自己沒有真正的知識在。

  • But I do know this.

    但我確實知道這個。

  • Our government's placed in charge of all of its people.

    我們的政府被安排負責所有的人。

  • I'm a father who's been placed in charge of just one son.

    我是一個被安排只負責一個兒子的父親。

  • And I lie to that nigger all the time.

    我一直在對那個黑鬼撒謊。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • (audience cheering)

    (觀眾歡呼)

  • (laughing) I just love conspiracy theories.

    (笑)我就是喜歡陰謀論。

  • I have my whole life.

    我有我的一生。

  • Make some up when I'm bored.

    無聊的時候就編一些。

  • Why is it that every time you're getting ready to take off

    為什麼每次你準備起飛的時候

  • on an airplane and the captain got on over the loudspeaker,

    在飛機上,機長通過擴音器上。

  • you always heard the same exact thing.

    你總是聽到同樣的事情。

  • You always hear, "Thank you for choosing us.

    你總會聽到:"謝謝你選擇我們。

  • "We know you have a lot of choices in the airline community

    "我們知道你們在航空界有很多選擇。

  • "and they all fucking suck, so thank you.

    "他們都他媽的吸, 所以謝謝你。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "We got a great crew on board for you this evening.

    "今天晚上我們為你準備了一個很棒的船員。

  • "Barbara's here.

    "芭芭拉來了。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "Oh, you gonna love you some Barbara.

    "哦,你會愛你一些芭芭拉。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "We even got pretty good weather conditions

    "我們甚至得到了相當好的天氣條件

  • "so I'm gonna do my best to get us in a few minutes early

    "所以我會盡我所能讓我們提前幾分鐘到場

  • "so that we can just sit on the runway

    "這樣我們就能坐在跑道上了

  • "for another half an hour.

    "再過半個小時,

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "So just sit back and relax.

    "所以你就坐下來放鬆一下吧。

  • "Enjoy yourself.

    "好好享受吧。

  • "Oh, but hold up.

    "哦,不過,等一下。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "If you don't turn off your phone,

    "如果你不關機。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "oh, I swear to God

    "哦,我向上帝發誓

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "on the lives of Barbara's

    "關於芭芭拉的生活

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "beautiful children,

    "美麗的孩子。

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • "this plane will fall from the sky."

    "這架飛機會從天上掉下來"

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • (audience clapping)

    (觀眾鼓掌)

  • But now they're just like, "Oh, nevermind."

    但現在,他們只是喜歡,"哦,沒關係。"

  • (audience laughing)

    (觀眾笑)

  • (audience cheering) (upbeat instrumental music)

    (觀眾的歡呼聲) (歡快的器樂)

- As I said before, I don't like talking about politics

- 我之前說過,我不喜歡談論政治。

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B1 中級 中文 觀眾 歡呼 克雷格 陰謀論 機器人 大號

(部分)Ron Funches的最佳作品 ((Some of) The Best of Ron Funches)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 02 月 05 日
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