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  • - [Junior] No, you pay good money for a shoelace.

    - [少年]不,你花大錢買鞋帶。

  • No need to throw the whole thing away.

    沒必要把整個東西都扔掉。

  • - Let me try it.

    - 讓我試試

  • - Oh, sorry, hi.

    - 哦,對不起,嗨。

  • I'm just dropping by, uh, confessing to a murder.

    我只是路過,呃,承認自己是凶手。

  • Basically, there was a death.

    基本上,有一個死亡。

  • A man was murdered in Thailand three months ago.

    三個月前,一名男子在泰國被謀殺。

  • It's on the Interpol site,

    在國際刑警組織的網站上

  • and I am racked with guilt, can't sleep.

    我被內疚折磨得睡不著覺。

  • And I'm here to just confess and, you know, put my,

    我在這裡只是懺悔,你知道,把我的。

  • put the bracelets on me or...

    把手鐲放在我身上或... ...

  • Call 'em bracelets, right?

    叫他們手鐲,對吧?

  • I was watching some cop show and they call 'em.

    我在看一些警察節目,他們叫他們。

  • - Handcuffs.

    - 手銬。

  • - All right.

    - 好吧,我知道了

  • - What did you do? - What'd you do?

    - 你做了什麼?- 你做了什麼?

  • - Bludgeon a man to death three months ago in Thailand.

    - 三個月前在泰國用棍子打死一名男子。

  • It's on the Interpol website.

    在國際刑警組織的網站上

  • And these are the war hammers that did it.

    而這些都是戰錘乾的。

  • And I'm here to confess.

    我是來懺悔的

  • - What was your name again?

    - 你叫什麼名字來著?

  • - Last name is Coe, C-O-E.

    - 姓氏為Coe,C-O-E。

  • - C-O-E.

    - C -O -E。

  • - And then my first name is Jillett.

    - 然後我的名字是Jillett.

  • - Coe.

    - Coe.

  • - J-I-L-L-E-T, there's not an E on the end,

    - J-I-L-L-E-T,最後沒有E。

  • and there's a hyphen.

    而且還有一個連字元。

  • - I wasn't even listening, sorry.

    - 我根本沒在聽,對不起。

  • - Hyphen Ben, Gillette-Ben.

    - 連字元本,吉列本。

  • - Gillette-Ben.

    - 吉列-本。

  • - And then last name is Coe.

    - 然後姓科。

  • - Cindy, could you get me through to...

    - 辛迪,你能幫我接通... ...

  • - Thailand, country of Thailand.

    - 泰國,泰國的國家。

  • - The Department of Justice?

    - 司法部?

  • We have got a detainee who has confessed

    我們有一個被拘留者,他已經招供了

  • to a murder in Thailand, Mr. Jun Deep.

    到泰國的謀殺案,俊深先生。

  • - Yes, sir.

    - 是的,先生。

  • Uh, two deputies to fly him to Thailand.

    兩名副手送他去泰國。

  • Yes, sir, we don't have a plane here at the Reno....

    是的,先生,我們在裡諾沒有飛機....。

  • We'd fly first class to Thailand.

    我們會坐頭等艙去泰國。

  • - Do all three of us. - Do I get to go?

    - 我們三個人都要去- 我可以去嗎?

  • (upbeat music) (plane engine roars)

    (歡快的音樂)(飛機發動機轟鳴)。

  • - Have a seat. - Okay, we're clear.

    - 請坐吧- 好了,我們清楚了。

  • - Come on in, welcome aboard.

    - 進來吧,歡迎加入。

  • Welcome aboard. - Clear.

    歡迎加入- 安全

  • - I'll be 3A,

    - 我將是3A。

  • Yeah, which is the window.

    是的,這是窗口。

  • - All right, just twist.

    - 好吧,就這麼扭著。

  • Can you go maybe down under-hand there?

    你可以去也許下手那裡?

  • Okay, that's good.

    好吧,這是很好的。

  • No, that's good, that's comfortable.

    不,這很好,這很舒服。

  • Okay, how long has this flight?

    好吧,這次飛行有多長時間?

  • - It's 14 hours, but regardless, sir,

    - 已經14小時了,但無論如何,先生。

  • we can't have you in this situation, it's not safe.

    我們不能讓你在這種情況下,它是不安全的。

  • - No, we're first class, we are first class.

    - 不,我們是頭等艙,我們是一等艙。

  • - I understand.

    - 我明白了。

  • - Why don't you to switch over here so that he gets here?

    - 你為什麼不換到這裡來,讓他到這裡來?

  • - I don't mean to be rude,

    - 我不是故意要無禮。

  • but then we're at the same problem

    但這是同樣的問題

  • where this is not safe for you guys.

    在這裡,這對你們來說是不安全的。

  • You're already up, sir.

    你已經起來了,先生。

  • Why don't you head up over here?

    你為什麼不在這裡頭?

  • I would insist, sir, that would be...

    我堅持認為,先生,這將是... ...

  • - But wait, 3B, 3B.

    - 但是等等,3B,3B。

  • - Do we get charged to change seats?

    - 我們換座位要收費嗎?

  • Is there like a $50 like one of them fees that they do?

    有沒有像50美元一樣的費用,他們做的其中之一?

  • - Of course not, no.

    - 當然不是,不是。

  • - 'Cause on Greyhound, when you switch seats...

    - 因為在灰狗上,當你換座位時... ...

  • - They, they do charge.

    - 他們,他們是要收費的。

  • - Yeah, they do, they do 35 bucks.

    - 是的,他們做的,他們做35塊錢。

  • I wanna have the aisle seat.

    我想坐過道的位置

  • - Great, if you can just have a seat, relax,

    - 很好,如果你能有一個座位,放鬆一下。

  • we'd love to get your beverages and get started.

    我們很樂意讓你的飲料和開始。

  • - Yes?

    - 是嗎?

  • - Hey. - Hi.

    - 嗨

  • - How you doing? - Great, nuts?

    - 你好嗎?- 很好,瘋子?

  • - Yeah. - Whoa, (laughs) okay.

    - 是的 哇,好吧

  • - Hey, these are warm.

    - 嘿,這些都是溫暖的。

  • - Yes, they're toasted.

    - 是的,他們被烤焦了。

  • - On purpose? - Yes.

    - 故意的?- 故意的

  • - Toasted nuts, warm nuts.

    - 烤堅果,熱堅果。

  • - Just don't run with it.

    - 只要不跟它跑就行了。

  • - My associate Jones needs his nuts warms, please?

    - 我的同事瓊斯需要他的蛋蛋暖和一下,好嗎?

  • - Oh, you need your nuts warms?

    - 哦,你需要你的堅果溫暖?

  • Here I'll get it for you. - Absolutely.

    來,我幫你拿。- 當然可以

  • - Goodie, goodie goodie bag. - No, no.

    - 好東西,好東西好包。- 不,不。

  • - I just got a little goodie bag.

    - 我剛剛得到了一個小禮品袋。

  • - I got socks!

    - 我有襪子!

  • - I'm going open it and see what's inside,

    - 我要打開看看裡面有什麼。

  • 'cause I got a goodie bag, tissues.

    因為我有一個好包,紙巾。

  • - I don't want, I don't want, no, how much is that?

    - 我不要,我不要,不要,那是多少錢?

  • - It's complimentary.

    - 這是免費的。

  • - Complimentary meaning?

    - 恭維的意思?

  • - Again, free.

    - 同樣,免費。

  • It always means free, here.

    在這裡,它總是意味著免費。

  • - Could I get a vodka martini please?

    - 請給我一杯伏特加馬提尼好嗎?

  • Shaken, not stirred, a little dirty with two olives,

    搖晃,不攪拌,有點髒,加兩顆橄欖。

  • and put a shot of Jagy in here.

    並把Jagy的鏡頭放在這裡。

  • - Oh, okay.

    - 哦,好吧。

  • Caribbean queen, now we're sharing the same dream

    加勒比女王,現在我們共享同一個夢想

  • And our hearts will beat as one

    我們的心會像一個人一樣跳動

  • - Excuse me, hi, could you just please keep it down?

    - 對不起,嗨,你能不能小聲點?

  • Caribbean queen, and we're sharing the same dream

    加勒比海女王,我們共享同一個夢想?

  • - I go high, you go low.

    - 我往上走,你往下走。

  • And our hearts will beat as one. ♪

    我們的心會像一個人一樣跳動。

  • - Yeah. - We all went low.

    - 是啊 我們都低調了

  • - Could you stop singing?

    - 你能不能別唱了?

  • - Oh, mile high club! - Whoo!

    - 哦,一英里高俱樂部!- 喔!

  • - All right, which one of you masturbated in the bathroom?

    - 好吧,你們誰在浴室裡手淫了?

  • - Not me, I was cuffed to a law man.

    - 不是我,我是被一個法律人銬住了。

  • - Mirror is a mess.

    - 鏡子是一團糟。

  • - That don't count, that don't count.

    - 那不算,那不算。

  • - That counts, that totally counts.

    - 這算,完全算。

  • - That don't count! - Of course it does.

    - 那不算!- 當然算

  • Does that count?

    這算不算?

  • It counts.

    這也算。

  • - You know, for a guy who's being extradited

    - 你知道,對於一個被引渡過來的人來說

  • for crimes in Thailand, you're pretty (bleep) weird.

    在泰國犯罪,你很(嗶)怪。

  • - Well, I've never been to Thailand. (laughs)

    - 嗯,我從來沒有去過泰國。(笑)

  • This guy, this big old guy, got murdered in Thailand.

    這個傢伙,這個大老粗,在泰國被殺了。

  • Someone bludgeoned him.

    有人打了他。

  • And I just said, know what I'm gonna do?

    我就說,知道我要做什麼嗎?

  • I'm just gonna, I'm gonna confess.

    我只是要去,我要去承認。

  • I put my hand up, and I thought,

    我把手舉起來,我想。

  • I'll get a plane ride with drinks and gifts.

    我會帶著飲料和禮物去坐飛機。

  • I didn't think it was gonna go this far,

    我沒想到會走到這一步。

  • and here I, here we are.

    而我,我們在這裡。

  • We's having drinks, and he made himself happy

    我們在喝酒,他自己也很開心。

  • in the bathroom and all this free stuff.

    在浴室和所有這些免費的東西。

  • And look at all these little

    看看這些小

  • little tiny soldiers on my armrest.

    小小的阿兵哥在我的扶手上。

  • It just worked out.

    它只是工作了。

  • (all laugh)

    (眾笑)

  • - We're going to Thailand!

    - 我們要去泰國!

  • - We're gonna keep an eye on you every minute.

    - 我們會每時每刻盯著你。

  • - Oh you better, look at that.

    - 哦,你最好,看那個。

  • - [Guys] Thailand, Thailand, Thailand!

    - 泰國,泰國,泰國,泰國!

  • - Please quiet, okay, you three-

    - 請安靜,好吧,你們三個

  • - Hi. - Hi.

    - 嗨

  • - You're being ejected from the plane.

    - 你被從飛機上彈射出來了 You're being ejected from the plane.

  • - What? - Yes.

    - 什麼?

  • - You're gonna turn this plane around?

    - 你要讓這架飛機掉頭?

  • We're already halfway there!

    我們已經走了一半了!

  • We're still on the ground.

    我們還在地面上。

  • Okay, we haven't left the gate.

    好吧,我們還沒有離開大門。

  • You've gone through six bottles of champagne in 28 minutes.

    你在28分鐘內喝完了6瓶香檳。

  • - Ooh.

    - 哦。

  • (bleep)

    (嗶)

  • - Yeah.

    - 是啊。

  • - Our bad. - Our bad.

    - 我們的壞。- 我們的壞。

  • - And the Marshall's already out there?

    - 馬歇爾已經在外面了?

  • - Yes.

    - 是的,我知道

  • - All right, hang on, hang on.

    - 好吧,等一下,等一下。

  • I will just.

    我就。

  • - Sorry everyone.

    - 對不起大家。

  • - I made two puppet friends.

    - 我交了兩個木偶朋友。

  • - No, no.

    - 不,不。

  • - Please exit quickly.

    - 請迅速退出。

  • - That's okay.

    - 那就好

  • - Quickly please.

    - 請快點。

  • - Already cuffed, saved the Marshall

    - 已經被銬住了,救了馬歇爾

  • a little bit of work here. - Quietly.

    這裡的一點工作。- 悄悄地。

  • - All right. - All right.

    - 好吧,好吧。- 好吧,好吧。

  • - Oh, hang on, let me, let me, let me

    - 哦,等一下,讓我,讓我,讓我。

  • grab onto the bottom of your coat.

    抓到你的外套底部。

  • - Just goodbye. - Goodbye.

    - 只是再見。- 再見。

  • - So sorry, everyone, we'll be taking off shortly.

    - 對不起,各位,我們馬上要起飛了。

  • Thank you for your patience.

    謝謝你的耐心。

  • - Muppet Show. - Goodbye.

    - 布偶秀- 再見了

- [Junior] No, you pay good money for a shoelace.

- [少年]不,你花大錢買鞋帶。

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泰國謀殺案(壯舉巴頓-奧斯華特) - 雷諾911! (A Murder in Thailand (feat. Patton Oswalt) - RENO 911!)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 27 日
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