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But this is it.
但這是它。
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It's official guys.
這是官方的傢伙。
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Tomorrow Joe Biden will be sworn in as the 46th president.
明天喬-拜登將宣誓就任第46任總統。
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United States.
美國:
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Incredible.
難以置信
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Incredible.
難以置信
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I'm gonna say you had a good run malarkey, but it ends now.
我想說你有一個很好的運行malarkey,但它現在結束。
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Imagine how Joe Biden's feeling right now.
想象一下喬-拜登現在的心情。
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He hasn't been this excited since Peggy Sue asked him to Sheriff SAS operator at the Sadie Hawkins dance.
自從佩吉-蘇請他去參加賽迪-霍金斯的舞會,他還沒有這麼興奮過。
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Joe Biden will become the oldest president toe ever.
喬-拜登將成為有史以來最年長的總統。
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Take the oath of office.
宣誓就職。
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Yeah, Biden is 129 Serious?
是啊,拜登是129歲,真的嗎?
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I didn't know that.
我不知道這一點。
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I didn't even realize I didn't know.
我都不知道自己不知道。
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This just proves it does prove that you're you're never too old to achieve your dreams unless you're in Los Angeles and over the age of 35.
這正好證明了它確實證明了你... ...你永遠不會太老,實現你的夢想,除非你在洛杉磯,而且年齡超過35歲。
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And if you are here.
如果你在這裡。
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But thanks, Susan.
但是謝謝你,蘇珊。
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But unlike previous inauguration days, Donald and Melania Trump will not be attending the ceremony or meeting with the Bidens at any point tomorrow.
但與以往的就職典禮不同,唐納德-特朗普和梅拉尼婭-特朗普不會在明天任何時候出席儀式或與比登斯夫婦會面。
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There's a really break with tradition, but it will ring in a new tradition of me not caring where Trump is or what he's doing.
真的是打破了傳統,但會響起一個新的傳統,我不關心特朗普在哪裡,也不關心他在做什麼。
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Yeah, think this is true?
是啊,覺得這是真的嗎?
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The last time a president skipped the inauguration was in 18 69.
上一次有總統跳過就職典禮是在1869年。
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I'm Joe Biden said he didn't approve of it back then either.
我喬-拜登說他當時也不贊成。
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Instead, President Trump released a farewell video message this afternoon and he urged.
相反,川普總統今天下午發佈了一個告別視頻資訊,他敦促。
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And he made this urgently to Joe Biden.
而且他還緊急向喬-拜登提出了這個問題。
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The world respects us again.
世界再次尊重我們。
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Please don't lose that respect.
請不要失去這種尊重。
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Please don't talk so slowly.
請不要說得那麼慢。
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You've got packing to Dio.
你要去迪奧那裡打包
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But at the end, Trump got a bit poetic.
但在最後,特朗普有點詩意了。
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Have a look.
看看吧
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I go from this majestic place with a loyal and joyful heart and optimistic spirit.
我帶著一顆忠誠快樂的心和樂觀向上的精神,從這個雄偉的地方走出去。
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This is historic.
這是歷史性的。
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It really is.
真的是這樣。
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This marks the first time someone has been both optimistic.
這標誌著第一次有人既樂觀。
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Andi moving to Florida.
安迪要搬去佛羅里達了
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The outgoing president apparently spent his final day in office issuing around 100 pardons.
即將離任的總統顯然在其任期的最後一天發佈了大約100項特赦令。
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100 pardons.
赦免100人
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Sounds like a Hugh Grant Moving.
聽起來像《休-格蘭特搬家》。
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Yes.
是的,我知道
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Uhh!
呃!
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Uh, sorry.
呃,對不起。
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Pardon?
你說什麼?
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Yes, I'm sorry.
是的,我很抱歉。
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Uh, God.
呃,上帝。
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Pardon me, if you will.
請原諒我,如果你願意的話。
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I'm sorry.
我很抱歉
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I mean, of course, President Trump left town long before all the festivities began on during a farewell address this morning to around 200 supporters at the airport, Trump promised that he'll be back.
我的意思是,當然,特朗普總統在所有的慶祝活動開始前很久就離開了小鎮,在今天早上向大約200名支持者在機場發表的告別講話中,特朗普承諾他會回來。
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The things that we've done have been just incredible.
我們所做的事情都是不可思議的。
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And I couldn't have done him done it without you.
沒有你,我也做不到。
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So just Hey, goodbye.
所以只是嘿,再見。
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We love you.
我們愛你
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We will be back in some form.
我們會以某種形式回來的。
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Oh, yeah.
哦,是的。
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Okay.
好吧,我知道了
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Well, at least he made it sound as creepy as possible.
好吧,至少他讓它聽起來儘可能地令人毛骨悚然。
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Things is like the end of a bad movie when the villain teases their return and you're watching it like I don't think this one's getting a sequel on.
事情就像一部爛片的結尾,當反派戲弄他們的迴歸,你在看的時候,我覺得這部片子不會有續集上。
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There was a bit of a surreal moment during Donald and Melania's farewell as they boarded Air Force One to the song Y M.
在唐納德和梅拉尼婭的告別過程中,有一個有點超現實的時刻,他們在Y M的歌聲中登上空軍一號。
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C.
C.
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A.
A.
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It's called the way You're finally leaving the White House today.
這就是所謂的方式,你今天終於要離開白宮了。
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Did you guys see this?
你們看到這個了嗎?
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It was a historic day in Washington, D.
今天是華盛頓特區歷史性的一天。
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C.
C.
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But Bernie Sanders showed up to the inauguration dressed like this.
但伯尼-桑德斯卻穿著這樣的衣服出現在就職典禮上。
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Look at that now.
你看,現在。
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Lots of people were talking about this.
很多人都在討論這個問題。
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Here's the thing, Bernie 100% would have warned that to his own inauguration.
是這樣的,伯尼100%會對自己的就職典禮發出警告。
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While he did not attend the inauguration, Trump did, in fact continue one tradition of the outgoing president, leaving a note for their successor.
雖然特朗普沒有參加就職典禮,但事實上,他確實延續了卸任總統的一個傳統,為他們的繼任者留下了一張紙條。
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Apparently, Trump's note was more than Biden bargained for, though it simply said, Please take good care of my son, Eric.
顯然,特朗普的紙條比拜登討價還價,雖然只是說,請好好照顧我的兒子埃裡克。
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Andi.
安迪
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Here we go.
我們走吧
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Here's a big story.
這裡有一個大新聞。
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There's some big news.
有一些大新聞。
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Rob, get ready, Bernie you're ready.
羅布,準備好,伯尼你準備好了。
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Of course he is, you cheeky bastard.
他當然是,你這個厚臉皮的混蛋。
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Now get this.
現在來看看這個
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It turns out Donald Trump's final act as president yesterday was to extend Secret Service protection for his adult Children, potentially costing taxpayers millions of dollars.
原來唐納德-特朗普昨天作為總統的最後一個行為是延長特勤局對其成年子女的保護,可能會讓納稅人損失數百萬美元。
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Trump's Children were like, Thank God, because this woman has been stalking us.
特朗普的孩子就像,謝天謝地,因為這個女人一直在跟蹤我們。
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She's everywhere and it's a little scary.
她無處不在,有點嚇人。
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And then the woman was like, My name is Tiffany.
然後那個女人就說,我叫蒂芙尼。
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Can you imagine being?
你能想象自己是?
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Can you imagine being one of Secret Service officers like, Is there a fate worse than being forced to take a bullet for Eric Trump?
你能想象自己是特勤人員中的一員嗎? 還有比被迫為埃裡克-特朗普擋子彈更糟糕的命運嗎?
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You train your whole life, you're getting the Secret Service.
你訓練了一輩子,你就會得到特勤局。
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Your parents are proud.
你的父母是驕傲的。
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No one could believe it.
沒有人能夠相信。
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It's almost so Tell me, what do you do?
差不多了 告訴我,你是做什麼的?
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And they're like protect Eric Trump.
他們就像保護埃裡克-特朗普。
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And then sometimes I have to look the other way when Donald Jr and Kimberly Guilfoyle go to the bathroom together.
有時候小唐納德和金伯利-吉爾弗約爾一起上廁所的時候,我還得另眼相看。
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Yeah, Andi, did everybody see Biden's speech?
安迪 大家看到拜登的演講了嗎?
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I found it incredibly powerful.
我發現它的力量非常強大。
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I thought it was.
我以為是這樣的
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I thought it was completely.
我以為這是完全。
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There was no perfect.
沒有完美的。
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At one point, Biden said.
有一次,拜登說。
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It wasn't just his campaign that prevailed, but democracy itself.
勝利的不僅僅是他的競選,而是民主本身。
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We've learned again that democracy is precious democracy is fragile at this hour, my friends, democracy has prevailed.
我們又知道了民主是珍貴的民主是脆弱的在這個時候,朋友們,民主已經勝利了。
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Democracy prevails.
民主制勝。
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But the game definitely went into overtime, didn't it?
但比賽肯定進入了加時賽,不是嗎?
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Biden also used his speech to call for unity in the days ahead.
拜登還利用演講呼籲大家在未來的日子裡團結起來。
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We have never, ever, ever, ever failed in America or have acted together.
我們在美國從來沒有,從來沒有,從來沒有失敗過,也沒有一起行動過。
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That's why we cannot have a sex in the city reunion without Samantha.
這就是為什麼我們不能沒有薩曼莎的城市性愛重逢。
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Way just can't.
方式就是不能。
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Meanwhile, Donald Trump saw this.
與此同時,唐納德-特朗普看到了這一點。
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He was like unity, unity, unity.
他就像團結,團結,團結。
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Is that that girl I paid off of that strip club in Reno?
那是我在裡諾的脫衣舞俱樂部買通的女孩嗎?
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E No, that was destiny.
不,那是命運的安排。
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That's right.
是的
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Yeah.
是啊。
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Now, while all of this was going on, staffers were busy moving the Bidens things into the White House.
現在,當這一切都在進行時,工作人員正忙著把比登斯的東西搬進白宮。
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But violence, peloton, bike is causing some concern because it has a camera Onda microphone on.
但暴力、骨盆、自行車引起了一些人的關注,因為它有一個攝像頭昂達麥克風上。
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It poses a threat from hackers, which is why I've not been using mine.
它構成了來自黑客的威脅,這也是為什麼我一直沒有使用我的。
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Okay, security reasons, you know, country first I gotta play.
好吧,安全原因,你知道,國家第一我得玩。
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It's a you know course that they said that they're working on a solution.
這是一個你知道當然,他們說他們正在努力解決。
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And if they can't find a way to make the pellet on secure, Biden will have to go back to spinning on his old bike O S.
如果他們找不到一種方法來使顆粒安全,拜登就得回到他的舊自行車上轉圈了O S。
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O.
O.
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That really took us the most ever laughed Teddy farther.
這真的讓我們有史以來笑得最多的泰迪走得更遠。
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E love a penny farthing on This is exciting.
我喜歡一分錢一分貨,這太刺激了。
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This morning, the United States officially rejoined the World Health Organization.
今天上午,美國正式重新加入世界衛生組織。
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Reverse, Yes, Okay, yes.
倒車,是的,好的,是的。
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Reversing a decision that was made by Trump last year, Dr Fauci attended a W.
推翻了去年特朗普做出的決定,福齊博士參加了W。
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H O meeting today and began by saying so That was awkward.
今天開會,一開始就這麼說,真是尷尬。
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It's great news, but I have to say the bar is pretty low for good president ing right now, isn't it?
這是個好消息,但我不得不說現在好總統的標準很低,不是嗎?
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Biden goes.
拜登去。
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Let's rejoin the World Health Organization during a global pandemic, and we're like, Oh my God, it's an amazing idea.
讓我們在全球大流行期間重新加入世界衛生組織,我們就像,哦,我的上帝,這是一個驚人的想法。
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Where does he get these ideas wrong?
他的這些想法哪裡錯了?
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I love this guy.
我喜歡這個傢伙。
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What's Biden is making some other changes as well.
什麼是拜登也在做一些其他的改變。
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He apparently has removed Donald Trump's Diet Coke button from the Oval Office.
他顯然已經把唐納德-特朗普的健怡可樂按鈕從橢圓形辦公室移走了。
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Remember that when trade press, a button and a butler would bring in a Diet Coke on a silver platter, I'm gonna say it.
還記得貿易壓榨的時候,一個按鈕,一個管家就會用銀盤子端來一杯健怡可樂,我要說的是。
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Biden is undone.
拜登被解開了。
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The one good idea Trump ever had Biden took out trumps Diet Coke, but unfortunately, he replaced it with a Metamucil button, London's narrowest house, which measures just 5 ft wide.
特朗普曾經有過的一個好主意拜登拿出了王牌健怡可樂,但不幸的是,他用Metamucil按鈕代替了它,倫敦最窄的房子,它的尺寸只有5英尺寬。
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What do you what do you get used to this buddy when we got no Trump When Trump's gone, this would be the top story in the morning.
你什麼你習慣了這哥們當我們沒有特朗普的時候 當特朗普走後,這將是早上的頭條新聞。
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This will be the top story.
這將是頭條新聞。
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This'll be the lead.
這將是領先的。
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This'll be the lead story.
這將是主要的故事。
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What we going within the mano?
我們要在馬諾內做什麼?
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I don't know.
我不知道。
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Thin House.
薄屋。
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Mhm.
嗯
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But it's true.
但這是事實。
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London's Now It's tad.
倫敦的現在,這是一個小。
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It's not even Britain's narrowest houses.
這還不是英國最窄的房子。
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London's narrowest house measures are just five white on.
倫敦最窄的房子措施只有五白上。
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It's on sale, right?
是在打折吧?
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You know, you think about how much of it?
你知道,你想過多少嗎?
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Yeah, It's on sale for $1.4 million.
是啊,它的售價是140萬美元。
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This is the house here.
這就是這裡的房子。
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Look at that.
你看那個。
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That believe in the middle?
那相信在中間?
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Yeah.
是啊。
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I don't imagine living there, though.
不過,我無法想象住在那裡。
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Awkward if you've got a date over.
如果你有個約會,那就尷尬了。
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But I mean Ugo.
但我是說烏戈.
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So should we move this to the bedroom?
那我們要不要把這個搬到臥室?
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Well, you go, then I'll go and then Right.
好吧,你去,然後我去,然後右。
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Sorry.
對不起,我不知道
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You stand that way and open the door.
你站在那邊,打開門。