it's mid-January, and that means, um --

它的一月中旬， 這意味著，嗯 -

Tariq, you okay?

塔裡克，你還好嗎？

You look bothered.

你看起來很煩惱。

-No, I'm good.

-不，我很好

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-You sure? You don't seem good.

-你確定？你確定？ - 你看起來不怎麼樣

-I just got some things on my mind, you know,

-我只是有一些事情在想，你知道的。

things to probably go on my irk list.

事情可能會去我的Irk列表。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-What's your irk list?

-你的騷擾清單是什麼？

It's that list that I keep,

我保留的就是這份名單。

of things that annoy me, you know, random stuff.

的東西，惹惱我，你知道，隨機的東西。

You know what? I'll just show you.

你知道嗎？我就給你看。

It's time for "Tariq's Irk List."

現在是 "Tariq的Irk名單 "的時間。

[ Cheering ] -♪ Tariq's Irk List ♪

[ 歡呼 ] -♪ 塔裡克的Irk清單♪

♪ All the things that irk Tariq ♪

? 所有的事情，刺激塔裡克?

-Well, I'm a binge viewer, Jimmy.

-好吧，我是個狂熱的觀眾，吉米。

Every time I hear a new season of something good drops,

每次聽到新一季的好東西滴。

I binge on it.

我狂吃它。

That's how I view things, on a binge.

我就是這樣看待事物的，在狂歡。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

A bender. I watch hard, play hard.

一個彎曲者。我很努力地看，很努力地玩。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

I'm always starved for new content,

我總是對新內容感到飢渴。

so it irks me when a good show tricks me into believing

所以我很生氣，當一個好節目欺騙我相信

there's a new season available,

有一個新的賽季可用。

when it's really only a couple new episodes.

當它真的只有幾個新的情節。

"Breaking Bad," "Arrested Development,"

"霹靂嬌娃"、"逮捕發展"

"Black Mirror," a lot of these shows, man.

"黑鏡"，很多這樣的節目，夥計。

Most recently, "Euphoria."

最近的作品是 "Euphoria"。

"Oh, look, we found one Lucy episode

"哦，你看，我們找到了一個露西的情節

[ Laughter ] lying around the studio!

[笑] 躺在工作室周圍！

New season alert!"

新賽季預警！"

Nah, I'm not feeling that, man.

不，我沒感覺到，夥計。

Y'all are going on the list.

你們都要上榜了。

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

-Alright.

-好吧

-It reminds me of another thing that really makes my blood boil.

-這讓我想起了另一件事，真的讓我熱血沸騰。

You want to know what really gets my goat, Jimmy?

你想知道什麼是真正讓我心動的嗎，吉米？

What really grinds my gears? -Mm-hmm.

什麼東西讓我心煩意亂？-嗯哼

-You want to know what really

-你想知道什麼是真正的

squeezes the jelly out of my doughnut?

把果凍從我的甜甜圈裡擠出來？

[ Laughter ] -Alright, come on, now.

[笑] 好吧，來吧，現在。

Who's writing this?

誰在寫這個？

-Being intentionally annoyed while I'm watching TV, man.

-我看電視的時候，故意讓人煩躁，老兄

Like I like to immerse myself in the story,

就像我喜歡沉浸在故事中一樣。

to really become a part of the world

真正成為世界的一部分

within which the narrative takes place.

在其中發生的敘事。

But, say I'm watching something with my wife, right.

但是，比如說我和老婆在看什麼，對吧。

Never fails. She'll suspect what's about to happen

從來沒有失敗過。她會懷疑即將發生的事情。

and then yell it out to me in the form of a question.

然後以問題的形式向我喊話。

[ High-pitched ] "He's not going to go into

[高亢] "他不打算去到

that abandoned building alone,

僅僅是那座廢棄的建築。

where, if everything happens to him,

在哪裡，如果一切都發生在他身上。

it'll be days before somebody found him, babe, is he?"

這將是幾天前有人發現他，寶貝，是他？"

And I'm like, "I don't know, Michelle.

我想，"我不知道，米歇爾。

If I were to say either yes or no,

如果讓我說是或不是。

it would only be speculation.

這只是猜測。

But, here's the thing.

但是，事情是這樣的。

If we watch and wait patiently

如果我們耐心地觀察和等待

[ Laughter ] for just a few more minutes...

[笑聲]再過幾分鐘... ...

-Yes! -[ Claps ]

-是的！

-We'll know exactly what happens because it will have happened.

-我們會知道到底發生了什麼，因為它已經發生了。

[ Laughter and applause ] -That's correct.

[笑聲和掌聲] 這是正確的。

That's right. -Yeah.

是啊-是的

-It's either that, or she has no clue what's going on,

-要麼是這樣，要麼是她不知道發生了什麼事。

so she just keeps checking in with me.

所以她只是不停地檢查與我。

"Oh, my God! What's going to happen?

"哦，我的天啊!會發生什麼事？

Babe, what just happened?!"

寶貝，剛才發生了什麼？"。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Or maybe she can't hear.

或者她聽不見。

So, like, every five minutes she's all, "Wait, huh?

所以，就像，每隔五分鐘她就會說："等等，嗯？

What'd they say?"

他們怎麼說？"

[ Laughter ] Now, my hearing is fine, Jimmy.

[笑] 現在，我的聽力很好，吉米。

I have amazing hearing, very clear fiber optics.

我有驚人的聽力，非常清晰的光纖。

[ Laughter ] But I'm not here to be

[笑]但我不是來這裡是。

your human subtitles for "The Undoing."

你的人類字幕 "Undoing"。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Sometimes it takes a complete turn for the worse

有時，它需要一個完整的轉折為壞

because she only watches the background.

因為她只看背景。

I mean, since that whole Starbucks cup

我的意思是，因為整個星巴克的杯子

on "Game of Thrones" thing, she's been obsessed.

在 "權力的遊戲 "這件事上，她一直在痴迷。

"I can't believe they wouldn't notice --

"我不相信他們不會注意到--

I can't believe they thought we wouldn't notice

我不相信他們以為我們不會發現。

her shoelaces were double- knotted in that last scene

她的鞋帶在最後一幕打了兩個結。

and, now, it's a single knot."

而且，現在，是一個單結。"

And I go, "Damn! You irking me."

然後我說，"該死！你惹惱了我。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Take a day off continuity, continuity cops.

放一天假，連續性的警察。

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

And she says, "I can't help but notice

她說："我不能不注意到。

all the nooks and crannies.

所有的犄角旮旯。

It's called being perceptive."

這就是所謂的洞察力。"

And then, I can't focus on the show at all

然後，我就無法集中精力看戲了。

because I start thinking, "Why don't you ever hear

因為我開始想，"為什麼你從來沒有聽說過。

about crannies without the nooks?"

關於旮旯沒有旮旯？"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

It's like crannies need nooks for validation.

就像旮旯需要旮旯來驗證一樣。

Nooks don't need crannies.

犄角旮旯不需要。

They go off and do their own thing sometimes.

他們有時會去做自己的事情。

You see breakfast nooks, reading nooks.

你看早餐的小窩，閱讀的小窩。

Nook this, nook that.

諾克這個，諾克那個。

Stop, nook, and listen.

停下來，旮旯，聽著。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

You never hear about a breakfast cranny.

你從來沒有聽說過一個早餐旮旯。

I mean, nooks and crannies, as a team,

我是說，犄角旮旯，作為一個團隊。

they are sort of low-key, though, you know, usually.

他們是那種低調，雖然，你知道，通常，

I mean, you hear about them in reference

我的意思是，你聽到他們在參考

to like English muffins. That's pretty much it.

喜歡英式鬆餅。這幾乎是它。

[ Laughter ] Then I start to think about all the other

然後，我開始思考所有其他的。

seemingly inseparable duos with one half who's going rogue.

看似密不可分的二重奏，卻有一半人要叛變。

I mean, look at to and fro.

我的意思是，看看來來回回。

Fro ain't [bleep] without his boy to.

弗羅沒有他的兒子就不能[嗶]。

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

To is dropping solo music,

託是滴個人音樂。

he's got his own spinoff show, he's all over the place.

他有自己的衍生節目， 他在所有的地方。

"Look, everybody it's to!"

"大家看，這是要！"

He's on the red carpet, gossip columns,

他在紅毯上，八卦柱。

flying private, dating social media celebrity influencers.

飛私人，約會社交媒體名人影響力。

It irks me that fro won't take a stand

我很不爽Fro不肯表態

for his independence, Jimmy.

為了他的獨立，吉米

Get yourself together, man!

振作起來，夥計！

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-Wait, what was I saying?

-等等，我剛才說什麼？

-You were telling me

-你剛才告訴我

about your irk list. -Oh, yeah, that's right.

關於你的討厭名單-哦，是的，這是正確的。

-Yeah. -You want to know

-是啊 你想知道嗎？

what else irks me?

還有什麼讓我不爽的？

This new trend of people using "cheers" as a verb,

人們把 "乾杯 "作為動詞的這股新潮流。

you know, as they say like, "Let's cheers to the end

你知道，就像他們說的那樣，"讓我們乾杯到底

of the Trump administration!"

的特朗普政府！"

And, though I'm definitely going to drink to that,

而且，雖然我肯定要為之乾杯。

I'm like, it irks me that we're allowing cheersing

我想，這讓我很生氣，我們允許歡呼聲

to take the place of the toast.

以代替敬酒。

Jimmy, the toast has evolved from sacred libation ceremonies

吉米，祝酒詞已經從神聖的飲酒儀式演變而來。

that date back to the empires of the Greeks,

可以追溯到希臘人的帝國。

the Romans, the Egyptians.

羅馬人，埃及人。

It's a sacred ritual. It's formal.

這是一個神聖的儀式。這是正式的。

You don't just toast.

你不只是烤麵包。

There's a proposal involved, and everything.

這涉及到一個提案，和一切。

Like if those present accept your proposal and agree,

就像如果在場的人接受你的建議，同意。

then they raise their glasses as you have raised yours.

然後，他們舉起他們的眼鏡，就像你舉起你的眼鏡一樣。

It's a beautiful thing.

這是一個美麗的東西。

Now, people running around, all happy-go-lucky,

現在，人們跑來跑去，都很開心，很幸運。

cheersing all willy-nilly with any old beverage

暢飲不已

[ Laughter ] and it irks my soul, Jimmy.

[笑聲]它刺激了我的靈魂，吉米。

I'm hurt.

我受傷了

But, other than that, I'm fine.

但是，除此之外，我很好。

[ Laughter and applause ] -A toast

[笑聲和掌聲] 乾杯

to a great man. Tariq Trotter, everyone!

到一個偉大的人。塔裡克・托特，大家好！

Stick around.

呆在這裡。

We've got more "Tonight Show" coming up.

我們有更多的 "今夜秀 "即將到來。

Come on back, everybody.

大家快回來吧

[ Cheering and applause ] ♪♪

[歡呼和掌聲] ?