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  • -Hello and welcome, welcome,

    -你好,歡迎,歡迎。

  • welcome to "The Tonight Show," everybody!

    歡迎來到 "今夜秀",大家好!

  • [ Cheering and applause ]

    [歡呼和掌聲]

  • Well, guys, next week, President Trump is planning

    好了,夥計們,下週,特朗普總統打算

  • to leave the White House for Palm Beach

    離開白宮去棕櫚灘

  • on the morning of Inauguration Day

    就職日上午

  • and he's asked for a large crowd

    而他要求的是人多勢眾

  • and a big, military-style sendoff.

    並舉行了盛大的軍事式歡送會。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yeah. Trump wants a big farewell.

    是啊,特朗普想要一個大的告別。特朗普想來個大告別。

  • He's even requested a red carpet, live music,

    他甚至要求走紅地毯,現場音樂。

  • and Rudy Giuliani to be launched from a cannon.

    和魯迪-朱利安尼用大炮發射。

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • It's going to be quite a day. A bunch of Trump supporters

    這將是相當精彩的一天。一群特朗普的支持者

  • in Washington, D.C.

    在華盛頓特區

  • What could possibly go wrong?

    會有什麼問題呢?

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • That's right, Trump wants to assemble a large crowd

    沒錯,特朗普要召集一大群人。

  • to remind everyone of his legacy --

    提醒大家注意他的遺產 --

  • completely ignoring the coronavirus.

    完全忽略了冠狀病毒。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Trump's basically that annoying friend

    特朗普基本上是那個煩人的朋友。

  • who keeps dropping hints that they want a surprise party.

    誰一直在暗示他們想要一個驚喜派對。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ As Trump ] Can't believe Wednesday is

    [作為特朗普] 不敢相信,週三是。

  • my last day.

    我的最後一天。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • And I've been really getting into listening to vinyl records.

    而我也一直在聽黑膠唱片。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yep, Trump wants a big send-off, but, as of now,

    是的,特朗普想大肆送行,但是,截至目前。

  • the only thing they have planned

    他們唯一的計劃

  • is an awkward office party with a cake that says...

    是一個尷尬的辦公室派對,蛋糕上寫著... ...

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • Yeah, Trump is expecting a big military presence.

    是啊,特朗普正期待著大舉駐軍。

  • Officials would be like,

    官員們會像。

  • "Yes, sir, the, uh,

    "是的,先生,那個,呃。

  • Space Force is doing a s-space parade.

    太空部隊正在進行太空閱兵。

  • You just can't see it from here.

    你只是不能從這裡看到它。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Apparently, Trump wants all his favorite

    顯然,特朗普希望所有他最喜歡的

  • military officials to be there --

    軍事官員將在那裡 -

  • generals, colonels, captains, admirals.

    將軍、上校、上尉、上將;

  • I think we actually have a photo.

    我想我們真的有一張照片。

  • Yeah, there you go.

    是啊,你去那裡。

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • Imagine what he'd ask for if he won the election.

    想象一下,如果他贏得選舉,他會要求什麼。

  • [ As Trump ] I wanted stealth fighters.

    我要的是隱形戰機。

  • I want zebras.

    我想要斑馬。

  • I want a cement truck demolition derby.

    我想來一場水泥車拆遷德比。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Really been getting into vinyl records.

    真的很喜歡黑膠唱片。

  • [ Laughter ] Listening.

    [笑]聽。

  • This is interesting -- since Biden and Trump will be

    這很有趣 -- 因為拜登和特朗普將是。

  • in different places for the inauguration,

    在不同的地方舉行就職典禮。

  • they each will have a suitcase holding the nuclear codes.

    他們每個人都會有一個手提箱,裡面裝著核密碼。

  • But, once Biden takes the oath,

    但是,一旦拜登宣誓。

  • Trump's codes will deactivate. Yeah.

    特朗普的密碼會失效。是啊 Yeah.

  • What's crazy is that the guy we don't trust to be on Twitter

    最瘋狂的是,我們不信任的傢伙是在Twitter上的

  • is still carrying around the nuclear codes.

    仍在攜帶核密碼。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • There's no way Trump still has a briefcase

    特朗普不可能還帶著公文包的

  • with the actual nuclear codes.

    與實際的核密碼。

  • I'm sure, years ago, someone switched it out

    我相信,多年前,有人把它換掉了。

  • with one of the briefcases from "Deal or No Deal"

    與 "交易或不交易 "中的一個公文包在一起

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ As Trump ] 32.

    [作為特朗普] 32。

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • Meanwhile, I heard that Trump is still deciding

    同時,我聽說特朗普還在決定。

  • whether he'll carry on the presidential tradition

    他是否會繼承總統的傳統?

  • of writing a letter to his successor

    寫信給他的繼承人

  • and leaving it on the Resolute Desk.

    並將其放在堅決臺。

  • I'm not sure how much wisdom Trump has to offer.

    我不知道特朗普有多少智慧。

  • So far, Trump's only "advice" to Biden is

    到目前為止,特朗普給拜登的唯一 "忠告 "就是

  • to call dibs on the Lincoln Bedroom before Jill.

    在吉爾之前叫停林肯臥房。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • "No, no, we actually sleep in the same --"

    "不,不,我們其實睡在同一個--"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • My guess is, instead of a letter,

    我的猜測是,而不是一封信。

  • Trump's going to pull a "Sex and the City"

    特朗普要上演 "慾望都市 "了。

  • and leave a Post-It that says...

    並留下一張便籤紙,上面寫著... ...

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • But this is nice -- Melania is leaving Jill Biden

    但這很好 -- 梅拉尼婭要離開吉爾-拜登了

  • the same letter Michelle Obama left for her.

    就是米歇爾-奧巴馬留給她的那封信。

  • Isn't that sweet?

    是不是很甜蜜?

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Applause ] Isn't that sweet?

    [掌聲] 是不是很甜蜜?

  • Speaking of Biden moving into the White House,

    說到拜登搬進白宮。

  • there are reports that he may have to leave

    據悉,他可能要離開

  • his Peloton bike behind,

    他的Peloton自行車在後面。

  • since it has a camera and microphone

    因為它有攝像頭和麥克風

  • that could be hacked.

    可以被黑客攻擊的。

  • Even hackers were like,

    連黑客都喜歡。

  • [ Slavic accent ] "If you think we want to watch

    [斯拉夫口音]"如果你認為我們想看的是

  • old man sweat and grunt

    汗牛充棟

  • to REO Speedwagon,

    到REO Speedwagon。

  • you're very mistaken."

    你大錯特錯了。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Actually, I forgot the White House even had a gym.

    其實,我忘了白宮還有健身房。

  • For the last four years, it's just been a place

    在過去的四年裡,它只是一個地方。

  • to hide from the president.

    躲避總統。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Some sports news -- the NFL playoffs

    一些體育新聞--NFL季後賽。

  • continue this weekend

    本週末繼續

  • and one matchup everyone is excited about is

    而大家都很期待的一場比賽是

  • Tom Brady versus Drew Brees,

    湯姆-布雷迪對陣德魯-布里斯。

  • the two oldest quarterbacks in the league.

    聯盟中最老的兩個四分衛。

  • They're already wishing each other good luck.

    他們已經在互相祝願對方好運了。

  • Today, Brady called Brees and was like, "Break a hip."

    今天,布雷迪打電話給佈雷斯,就像 "打破一個臀部"。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yeah, instead of Bud Light and Doritos commercials,

    是啊,而不是百威啤酒和多力多滋的廣告。

  • there are going to be just a bunch of commercials

    將會有隻是一堆廣告

  • for the UroClub.

    為尿道俱樂部。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • -Hell!

    -見鬼!

  • -Yeah, those guys are so old, when they see Patrick Mahomes,

    -是啊,這些傢伙都老了, 當他們看到帕特里克・馬霍姆斯。

  • they just pinch his cheeks.

    他們只是捏他的臉頰。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Alright, listen to this -- I saw is

    好吧,聽這個 - 我看到的是

  • the 20th anniversary of Wikipedia.

    維基百科20週年紀念日。

  • At least, I think it is.

    至少,我認為是這樣。

  • I'm not sure because I read it on Wikipedia.

    我不確定,因為我是在維基百科上看到的。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • It's amazing -- in just 20 years,

    太神奇了 -- 僅僅20年時間。

  • Wikipedia has written 20 trillion high school essays.

    維基百科寫了20萬億篇高考作文。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Meanwhile, Tom Brady and Drew Brees were like,

    同時,湯姆-布雷迪和德魯-佈雷斯就像。

  • "Back in my day, if we want to know something,

    "在我那個年代,如果我們想知道一些事情。

  • we had to Ask Jeeves."

    我們不得不問傑維斯。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • And, finally, police in Argentina

    最後,阿根廷的警察

  • raided a swingers party, but, when they showed up,

    突襲了一個蕩婦派對,但是,當他們出現的時候。

  • the swingers thought the cops were strippers.

    蕩婦們以為警察是脫衣舞娘。

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

    [笑聲和掌聲]

  • It didn't help when the cops were like, "Alright,

    它沒有幫助,當警察是這樣的,"好吧,。

  • we can do this the easy way

    輕車熟路

  • or the hard way." [ Laughter ]

    或困難的方式。"[笑聲]

-Hello and welcome, welcome,

-你好,歡迎,歡迎。

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B2 中高級 中文 TheTonightShow 笑聲 特朗普 掌聲 拜登 密碼

特朗普要求在拜登就職典禮前舉行盛大的歡送儀式|今夜秀場 (Trump Asks for Big Send-Off Before Biden’s Inauguration | The Tonight Show)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 16 日
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