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  • Ugh, oh God I feel terrible.

  • My stupid period.

  • - Oh no, is it day one? - Day one.

  • The worst day.

  • Yeah, I'm sorry man.

  • What kind of period is it?

  • What do you mean?

  • Well in my experience there are eight different periods.

  • - Eight? - Mhmm, yeah.

  • You have the leaky one.

  • This period really likes to ruin your favorite pair of underwear.

  • Sure, you may have mis-judged the amount of flow coming down the pipeline, but that's no excuse for this period to be as squishy, uncomfortable and just plain rude as it is.

  • Oh, I know that period well.

  • Then there's the spotty period.

  • This one's known for it's inability to make a decision.

  • Oh, like me.

  • Yeah, it's a relatable period.

  • Some have called it the millennial.

  • Crack myself up.

  • Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not.

  • Sure it's not a full fledged lava flow, but it would be easier to predict it if it were.

  • Hmm, well that is not what this one is.

  • Okay, well number three is the chunkster period.

  • Gross.

  • Yeah, where you blow all kind of bodily debris out of your vagina along with it.

  • The outcome looks like a murder scene, that's somehow satisfying to see that.

  • Wow, periods are just nasty.

  • Yes, yes they are.

  • But, life isn't always beautiful.

  • Sometimes it's violent, sometimes it's bloody red, but you know what, it helps us.

  • We get all of our stuff out, it helps us have babies, so we need it.

  • We should celebrate 'em. - Yeah that's true.

  • I mean periods are sort of incredible.

  • Mhmm.

  • Okay, so what's next?

  • Oh, well number four is the phantom period.

  • Oh, the phantom period.

  • The one that never, ever shows up.

  • Even though you still have all of the bloating, and the cramps and the desire to have complete emotional breakdowns.

  • That's the one.

  • Well that's not what I have.

  • We can move on.

  • Alright, number five.

  • Surprise bitch! - Ooh!

  • Sorry.

  • Yeah, no my old friend, the surprise bitch.

  • The surprise bitch takes pride in ruining your day by showing up uninvited.

  • Whether it acts from sheer boredom, or is just a complete sadist, it literally gives zero fucks about you and your plans.

  • When it's here, it's here.

  • And then there are the periods that are way too long, and the periods that are way too short.

  • Oh, I once had mine for 17 days.

  • - Strange. - Yeah.

  • I once had mine for 49 minutes.

  • Also strange.

  • Yeah, oh and then there's one more.

  • The one you probably have.

  • It's the kill me now period.

  • This period thinks your uterus a gosh darn jungle gym.

  • It has absolutely no respect for your pain tolerance.

  • Usually leaving you in such agony that you cannot believe you have to deal with this shit every single month.

  • Popping a few ibuprofen can dull it's terror for a few hours, but it will come back.

  • Yeah, that's it.

  • Sorry girl.

  • It's okay, do you have any wine?

  • Yeah, wine, chocolate, on it.

  • Ugh, thank you so much.

  • No problem.

  • I think I just got my period.

  • Yup there it is.

  • Oh no, what kind is it?

  • Feeling like a chunkster.

  • Oh no, not the chunkster.

  • Yeah, I just wanna sit and pretend it's not happening.

  • This couch is burgundy.

Ugh, oh God I feel terrible.


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B1 中級 美國腔

你的8種月經類型 (8 Types Of Periods You Have)

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    Minnie 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日