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  • What's up everyone it's your girl, superwoman!

    嘿大家好 我是你們的女超人

  • 'Girls on period,' possibly the most requested video of all time right after 'take your top off'

    「月經來的女性」大概是一直以來緊追在「脫掉你的上衣」之後最被要求想看的影片

  • Well, you're in luck!

    那你有福囉!

  • I do not think so.

    我不這麼認為

  • Now if this video is a tampon or pad commercial, it will go something like this

    如果這部影片是衛生棉條或綿綿的廣告 會像是:

  • "It's that amazing time of the month again. When my soul and femininity is pouring out from in between my legs into a beautiful Lotus Tampon."

    「又來到這一個月中美妙的時候了-我的靈魂與陰性特質從我雙腿間傾瀉到那美麗的蓮花棉條 (音似蓮花寺) 上。」

  • But I'm superwoman, and I keep it real. So allow me to say, there is blood constantly pouring out of us for 5 f-ing days!

    但我是女超人,只講實話,所以容我說:血他X的持續五天從我們身體傾瀉出來!

  • It's like a game of God of War down there.

    下面就像是戰神的戰場

  • So fellas, let me teach you about girls on their periods, because most of you are clueless.

    所以男士們 讓我來教你們月經來的女性是怎樣 因為你們大多都很白目搞不清楚狀況

  • And I'm gonna try my best to make this as pleasant as possible for you.

    我會盡可能讓這一切聽起來悅耳一些

  • But to be honest if you can't handle a little McNasty, then take your Mickey D and close the box.

    但說實話 你若無法招架這一點小噁爛 那就帶著你的麥當勞餐 關掉視窗離開吧

  • If you're still here, congratulations! If not, typical, typical men.

    如果你還在 恭喜!如果不在了 典型 典型的男人啊

  • What? Things got messy, things got hard, and you just went running to that X?

    怎麼?事情開始走樣 開始沈重起來 然後你就急著跑向那(右上角的)「X」?

  • Story time! Once upon a time, a guy asked me if girls use bandages when on their period.

    故事時間!從前 有個男子問我女性月經來時會不會用繃帶

  • Yes! Yes, we do use bandages when on our period, but only SpongeBob bandages.

    會!會啊 我們月經來時會用繃帶 只是我們用海綿寶寶那種繃帶

  • It makes sense, you know. He's a sponge.

    這合理 你知道的 他是海綿嘛

  • Should I smack you? Or maybe the frigging bandage was made for Godzilla? Like, WT, do you use Ziploc bags as condoms?

    要我巴你嗎?還是那他媽的繃帶是給哥吉拉的?搞什麼 你會拿拉鍊袋來當保險套嗎?

  • What kind of question is that? Don't be stupid.

    這什麼鳥問題?別蠢了

  • Girls either use tampons and pads, and for all you guys that go, pads, they're like diapers, haha.

    女生會用衛生棉條或衛生棉 還有那些聽到衛生棉覺得像尿布 哈哈 的男生

  • Don't laugh. That's not funny, because they are.

    別笑 不好笑 因為它們真的是(尿布)

  • Pads are uncomfortable, and they are irritating as F.

    衛生棉很不舒服 而且他媽的惱人

  • And just like a child in an Indian family, if they're not straight, they cause a mess.

    就像一個印度家庭裡的孩子 如果他們不是異性戀 麻煩就大了

  • Tampons are a little different.

    衛生棉條就不太一樣了

  • If you're an Indian girl, you've been taught since birth not to use tampons, because apparently, tampons make you a slut.

    你若是印度女孩 從小就會被灌輸不要用棉條 因為它們 可想而知 會使你變成一個蕩婦

  • Uh, hello, how dare you stick anything in that area? Don't you not reserve for a complete stranger on your arranged marriage wedding day?

    呃拜託 你竟敢在那個區域插入任何東西?不是該把它留給那被安排的結婚典禮上的那位完全陌生的人嗎?

  • DUH~ And yes this is no secret that when girls are on their period, they are emotional, roller coaster.

    嘖~沒錯這不是秘密-月經來的女生很情緒化 像雲霄飛車

  • We're not stupid, we know this. Hormone are just all over this F-ing place.

    我們不笨 我們知道 荷爾蒙他媽的充滿這整個地方

  • And baby I promise, baby, I know it's frustrating, but believe me it's frustrating for us, too.

    然後寶貝 我發誓 寶貝我知道這令人挫折 但相信我 我們也很挫折

  • We cry for no reason sometimes, we get mad, we get sad, we get happy, we get glad.

    有時候我們無來由的亂哭 生氣 難過 開心 快樂

  • Like I swear to you, emoticons, were created by women on their periods.

    我發誓 表情符號 就是女性月經來的時候所創造的

  • I mean who else would think of this many F-ed emotions? This right here, cramps. Want a chocolate bar. I'm so in love.

    我的意思是 誰會想到這麼多他媽的表情?這邊這個 抽筋貌 想要巧克力霸嗎? 我熱戀了

  • What's happening to me?

    我到底怎麼了?

  • And we will never get used to our periods. I'm 23 years old and even till this day, I get shocked as F when I get my period.

    然後我們永遠不會習慣月經的到來 我23歲了且儘管至今 月經來時我還是他媽的會被嚇到

  • I'm in some next level denial. Ohhh. Don't worry, don't worry, it's alright. I probably cut myself. I probably cut myself.

    我在某個下一期的否認階段 噢別擔心別擔心 沒事的 我可能只是割傷了 我可能只是割傷了

  • Yeah, don't worry. No, it's fine. I'm fine! It's fine! Nothing is wrong. Ok. Let's go swimming. Where's my wet pants?

    沒錯 別擔心 沒事的 我很好 很好 一切都沒問題 ok 我們去游泳吧 我的泳褲呢?

  • It is exhausting every month. Carry pads and tampons everywhere you go.

    每月都累慘了 要隨地帶著綿綿與棉條

  • Are you going on vacation? F, checking your work schedule, check your period schedule.

    你要去旅遊嗎?他媽的先檢查工作行程 檢查你的月經週期

  • Cuz you better make sure you ain't bring your own ocean onto the cruise ship.

    因為你最好確定別把自己的血海帶上郵輪去

  • Cramps, chest pain, back pain, bloating, nausea.

    抽筋 胸痛 背痛 脹氣 嘔吐

  • It's like a Pepto Bismol commercial from hell.

    這就像地獄版的Pepto Bismol(胃藥品牌)廣告

  • Cramps. Back pain. Chest pain. Bloating. Nausea. And every emotion. It's so many.

    抽筋 背痛 胸痛 脹氣 嘔吐 還有各種情緒 太多了

  • So many emotions.

    太多情緒了

  • And water guns? Who needs water guns when you're on your period? Just stand still and sneeze. hachu..

    然後水槍?誰會在月經來時需要水槍?只要站著打個噴嚏 哈啾

  • And here's a fun fact, girl's period do not flow when they're in water.

    還有個有趣的知識 經血不會在水中流出來

  • And if you're a girl and for some reason you didn't know that. A, what the F. And B, grab a hose and like a lab coat. Experiment, girl friends.

    然後如果你是一個女生卻因為某些原因不知道這個 A)搞什麼 B)拿個水管跟實驗袍去做實驗吧 女性朋友們

  • So in the shower, we are fan-friggin-tastic. Hot shower, relaxation all upon the ovaries. Singing a song. Do a little dance.

    所以在洗澡時 我們他媽的美妙極了 熱水澡 卵巢周遭的放鬆 唱首歌 跳點舞

  • But the second that water stops, let's just say that the reality show ain't got nothing on that amazing race.

    但水停的那瞬間 應該說實境秀完全沒有秀出這段驚人的賽跑:

  • The race to dry yourself and get a pad or tampon back on before your period start Niagara Fall-ing everywhere.

    在血開始像尼加拉大瀑一樣亂洩之前擦乾身體,墊上棉條或綿綿

  • It is stressful. You need a game plan before you turn that water off.

    壓力好大 關水前你需要一個作戰計畫

  • Ok, turn that water off. Ok, towel, here we go. Arms, arms, face. Ok. There's no time for the back, no time.

    Ok 關水 Ok 毛巾 來了 手臂 手臂 臉 Ok 沒時間擦背了 沒時間了

  • Legs ok here we go. (che-ke-ke-ke-ke-ke-ke-ke) Ok, on.

    腿 OK 來 (狀聲詞) OK 穿上

  • You look at your white towel. It looks like the effing Japan flag.

    你看著你的白毛巾 它簡直像他媽的日本國旗

  • Also know that it's ok for us to say we're crazy, but you, hi, you can never say that to us.

    還有要知道 女生可以對女生說她瘋了 但你 嗨 你絕對不能這樣對我們說

  • In fact, don't ever base any of our action or behavior on the assumption that we are on our period.

    事實上 絕對不要憑藉我們的行為及表現來判定我們的月經是否來了

  • unless you physically see me opening a pad. Don't just assume because I'm angry, I'm on my period.

    除非你真的看到我在拆衛生棉 不要因為我在生氣就斷定我是月經來了

  • Because that issue is annoying, and tonight, when you're sleeping, I'll just assume you're dead and bury you in the backyard.

    因為這麼做很惱人 就好像 今晚你睡著了 我就斷定你死了然後把你埋在後院

  • Lastly, at least once in your life, a girl will ask a guy to buy her pads or tampons from the store.

    最後 你人生中至少會有一次被女生要求去店裡幫忙買綿綿與棉條

  • It is extremely attractive for that guy to agree and buy her a little pads and tampons, because it shows that you care about feminine needs.

    男生願意去買綿綿及棉條是一件極度性感的事 因為這表示你在意女性的需求

  • And as much as you don't want to be seen in public buying pads and tampons, just think about it.

    當你不想要在公共場合被看到在買綿綿與棉條時 你只要想想:

  • Her period only lasts 5-7 days. You still have the rest of the month...to be on her good side.

    她月經只會持續5-7天 你還有剩下的一整個月可以...見識到她的好心情

  • And yeah, that's pretty much it. This is not me complaining that girls get their period, feel sorry for us, I'm not down for that.

    然後嗯差不多就這樣了 這不是在抱怨女生有月經 可憐我們吧 我沒這個意思

  • but I'm just letting you know, yeah, we get crazy, we get delusional, and we are emotional roller coaster. Can't you just accept it and move on?

    只是想讓你知道 對 我們會瘋瘋的 會妄想 又情緒化 能不能就接受這一切然後繼續過日子

  • Sor-ry?

    抱歉哦

  • And hey if you like this video, I make video every Monday and Thursday. Make sure you click that subscribe button, and rate, comment, and click the link in the description to share this video,

    然後 嘿 你若喜歡這影片 我每週一及四都會上傳 請確定你有按訂閱鈕、評分並留言然後按影片敘述中的連結來分享影片

  • because, hey, sharing, what's up, that's my answer, that's my justification, sharing, what's up. Subscribe, what's up?

    因為 嘿 分享 怎樣 就是我的答案 就是我的存在原因 分享 怎樣 訂閱 怎樣?

  • And hope you have a beautiful day because you're beautiful. And I love you so much. Muhauh, muhauh, from my heart and my soul.

    希望你有個美麗的一天因為你很美麗 然我很愛你 啾 啾~來自我心與靈魂

  • Hope you have a wonderful day, afternoon, evening, morning, whatever, what else. One love, superwoman, that's a rap period.

    希望你在傍晚及早上後有個美好的一天 唯一的愛 女超人 這是個饒舌的月經/句點

What's up everyone it's your girl, superwoman!

嘿大家好 我是你們的女超人

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B1 中級 中文 美國腔 月經 棉條 綿綿 繃帶 女生 衛生棉

男女都該知道的-月經真相(Girls on periods)

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    Tong-Ann Sytwu   發佈於 2016 年 09 月 17 日
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