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Joe Kowan: I have stage fright.
喬·科望:我會怯場
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I've always had stage fright,
我總是怯場
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and not just a little bit,
而且不只一點點
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it's a big bit.
是嚴重的怯場
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And it didn't even matter until I was 27.
在我27歲之前,怯場並沒什麼影響
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That's when I started writing songs, and even then
27歲那年我開始寫歌
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I only played them for myself.
那時,我也只是唱給自己聽
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Just knowing my roommates were in the same house made me uncomfortable.
一想到我的室友也在屋子裡就讓我難受
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But after a couple of years, just writing songs wasn't enough.
過了幾年,我不再滿足於寫歌
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I had all these stories and ideas, and I wanted to share them with people,
我想和人們分享我的故事和點子
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but physiologically, I couldn't do it.
但是生理上,我卻做不到
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I had this irrational fear.
我有一種非理性的恐懼
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But the more I wrote, and the more I practiced,
但是,我寫得越多,練習得越勤
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the more I wanted to perform.
就越想站到臺前表演
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So on the week of my 30th birthday,
所以在我30歲生日這週
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I decided I was going to go to this local open mic,
我決定去我們當地的“麥克風開放日”(open-mic)
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and put this fear behind me.
一心想戰勝怯場的恐懼
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Well, when I got there, it was packed.
當我到了那裡,發現擠滿了人
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There were like 20 people there.
那裡大概有20個人
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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And they all looked angry.
而且他們看起來都很生氣
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But I took a deep breath, and I signed up to play,
但是我深吸一口氣,然後報了名去表演
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and I felt pretty good.
而且我感覺良好
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Pretty good, until about 10 minutes before my turn,
直到輪到我上臺前10分鐘都感覺不錯
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when my whole body rebelled, and this wave of anxiety just washed over me.
我全身都開始反抗焦慮的情緒席捲了我
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Now, when you experience fear, your sympathetic nervous system kicks in.
當你感覺恐懼的時候你的交感神經系統開始起作用
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So you have a rush of adrenaline, your heart rate increases,
腎上腺素增加心跳加快
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your breathing gets faster.
你的呼吸變得急促
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Next your non-essential systems start to shut down, like digestion. (Laughter)
接下來,次要器官們開始關閉比如消化系統(笑聲)
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So your mouth gets dry, and blood is routed away from your extremities,
然後嘴唇變得乾燥血液離開四肢
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so your fingers don't work anymore.
你的手指變得僵硬
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Your pupils dilate, your muscles contract, your Spidey sense tingles,
瞳孔放大,肌肉收縮對危險的預警能力突然大增
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basically your whole body is trigger-happy. (Laughter)
基本上你的身體已經準備迎戰了(笑聲)
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That condition is not conducive to performing folk music.
這樣的狀況可不適合表演鄉村音樂
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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I mean, your nervous system is an idiot.
我是說,你的神經系統是個白癡
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Really? Two hundred thousand years of human evolution, and it still can't tell the difference
可不是嗎?二十萬年的人類進化
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between a saber tooth tiger and 20 folksingers
居然還分不清一隻劍齒虎
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on a Tuesday night open mic?
和週二晚上“麥克風開放日”上的20個鄉村歌手?
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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I have never been more terrified -- until now.
我從沒那麼緊張過 -- 就比現在好點
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(Laughter and cheers)
(笑聲,加油聲)
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So then it was my turn,
然後就輪到我了
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and somehow, I get myself onto the stage, I start my song,
我鬼使神差地上了臺,開始唱歌
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I open my mouth to sing the first line,
我開口唱第一句
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and this completely horrible vibrato --
恐怖的顫音出現了
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you know, when your voice wavers -- comes streaming out.
你知道,聲音顫抖的時候就會這樣
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And this is not the good kind of vibrato, like an opera singer has,
這不是像歌劇演員那種專業的顫音
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this is my whole body just convulsing with fear.
而是我全身隨著恐懼發出的抽搐
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I mean, it's a nightmare.
那真是個噩夢
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I'm embarrassed, the audience is clearly uncomfortable,
我很尷尬,顯然觀眾也很難受
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they're focused on my discomfort.
他們的注意力都集中在我的難受上了
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It was so bad.
真是太糟了
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But that was my first real experience as a solo singer-songwriter.
但那是我作為一個唱作歌手的第一次經驗
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And something good did happen -- I had the tiniest little glimpse
而且有一件好事 --我感受到了一丁點
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of that audience connection that I was hoping for.
我所期望的那種與觀眾的共鳴
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And I wanted more. But I knew I had to get past this nervousness.
而我想要更多但是我知道自己需要戰勝緊張
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That night I promised myself: I would go back every week
那個晚上我向自己保證:我會每週都去那裡唱歌
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until I wasn't nervous anymore.
直到我不再緊張
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And I did. I went back every single week,
我確實每週都去表演
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and sure enough, week after week,
果然,經過一週又一週
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it didn't get any better. The same thing happened every week. (Laughter)
沒有任何好轉我還是每週怯場(笑聲)
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I couldn't shake it.
我擺脫不掉怯場
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And that's when I had an epiphany.
那天我靈光一現
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And I remember it really well, because I don't have a lot of epiphanies. (Laughter)
我記得很清楚,因為我很少靈光一現(笑聲)
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All I had to do was write a song that exploits my nervousness.
我要利用我的緊張寫一首歌
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That only seems authentic when I have stage fright,
我怯場時唱它,才顯得真實
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and the more nervous I was,
而且我越緊張
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the better the song would be. Easy.
這首歌就越好。多簡單啊
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So I started writing a song about having stage fright.
於是我開始寫一首關於怯場的歌曲
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First, fessing up to the problem,
首先,坦白面對問題
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the physical manifestations, how I would feel,
生理上的表現,我的感覺
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how the listener might feel.
以及聽眾可能有的感受
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And then accounting for things like my shaky voice,
然後,加入我顫抖的嗓音
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and I knew I would be singing about a half-octave higher than normal,
還有我知道在我緊張的時候
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because I was nervous.
我唱歌會比正常情況下高半個八度
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By having a song that explained what was happening to me,
當我正在遭遇怯場時
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while it was happening,
用一首歌來描述這些現象
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that gave the audience permission to think about it.
這會給觀眾思考這些現象的機會
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They didn't have to feel bad for me because I was nervous,
他們不需要因為我的緊張而感到難堪
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they could experience that with me,
他們可以和我一起經歷這一切
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and we were all one big happy, nervous, uncomfortable family. (Laughter)
我們就是一個快樂的、緊張的、不安的大家庭(笑聲)
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By thinking about my audience, by embracing and exploiting my problem,
通過考慮觀眾的感覺,接納並利用我的怯場
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I was able to take something that was blocking my progress,
我就能從阻礙中獲益
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and turn it into something that was essential for my success.
並將其轉化為成功的助推
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And having the stage fright song let me get past that biggest issue
這首“怯場之歌”幫我解決了
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right in the beginning of a performance.
我表演開場時最大的問題
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And then I could move on, and play the rest of my songs
然後我就可以繼續唱其他歌曲
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with just a little bit more ease.
而且更加輕鬆
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And eventually, over time, I didn't have to play the stage fright song at all.
慢慢到最後,我不再需要去唱這首“怯場之歌”了
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Except for when I was really nervous, like now. (Laughter)
除了我特別緊張的時候,比如現在(笑聲)
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Would it be okay if I played the stage fright song for you?
我現在可以唱這首怯場之歌嗎?
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(Applause)
(掌聲)
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Can I have a sip of water?
我可以喝口水嗎?
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(Music)
(音樂)
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Thank you.
謝謝。
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♫ I'm not joking, you know, ♫
♫ 你知道,我沒在開玩笑, ♫
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♫ this stage fright is real. ♫
♫ 這怯場是真的。♫
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♫ And if I'm up here trembling and singing, ♫
♫ 如果我在臺上一邊顫抖一邊唱,♫
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♫ well, you'll know how I feel. ♫
♫ 你們就能知道我的感覺, ♫
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♫ And the mistake I'd be making, ♫
♫ 還有我會唱錯走音, ♫
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♫ the tremolo caused by my whole body shaking. ♫
♫全身顫抖發出顫音。 ♫
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♫ As you sit there feeling embarrassed for me, ♫
♫ 你坐在台下為我感到尷尬,♫
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♫ well, you don't have to be. ♫
♫ 其實你不需要那樣。 ♫
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♫ Well, maybe just a little bit. ♫
♫ 呃...可能只用一點小尷尬。 ♫
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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♫ And maybe I'll try to imagine you all without clothes. ♫
♫ 或許我可以想像你們全都沒穿衣服,♫
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♫ But singing in front of all naked strangers scares me more than anyone knows. ♫
♫ 但在一絲不掛的陌生人面前唱歌更讓我害怕。♫
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♫ Not to discuss this at length, ♫
♫ 不想長篇大論,♫
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♫ but my body image was never my strength. ♫
♫ 但我的形象真不是什麽優勢。 ♫
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♫ So frankly, I wish that you all would get dressed, ♫
♫ 老實說,我希望你們都是穿著衣服的, ♫
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♫ I mean, you're not even really naked. ♫
♫ 我的意思是,你們還真不是裸體的。 ♫
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♫ And I'm the one with the problem. ♫
♫ 我才是有問題的那個。 ♫
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♫ And you tell me, don't worry so much, you'll be great. ♫
♫ 你可能會告訴我,別擔心,你會唱得很棒。 ♫
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♫ But I'm the one living with me ♫
♫ 但我一直忍受著我自己,♫
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♫ and I know how I get. ♫
♫ 我知道我會怎樣。♫
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♫ Your advice is gentle but late. ♫
♫ 你的話雖然好聽,但來得太遲,♫
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♫ If not just a bit patronizing. ♫
♫ 還有些居高臨下。♫
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♫ And that sarcastic tone doesn't help me when I sing. ♫
♫ 那諷刺的腔調在我歌唱時也沒用。♫
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♫ But we shouldn't talk about these things right now, ♫
♫ 但現在我們別再討論這個啦,♫
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♫ really, I'm up on stage, and you're in the crowd. Hi. ♫
♫ 說真的,我在臺上,你在臺下。嗨! ♫
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♫ And I'm not making fun of unnurtured, irrational fear, ♫
♫ 我可不拿恐懼來開玩笑,它沒經刻意培養,一點也不理性, ♫
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♫ and if I wasn't ready to face this, ♫
♫ 我若不是早做準備面對這恐懼, ♫
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♫ I sure as hell wouldn't be here. ♫
♫ 我肯定不會站在這裡。 ♫
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♫ But if I belt one note out clearly, ♫
♫ 假如我唱出一個清晰的音符, ♫
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♫ you'll know I'm recovering slowly but surely. ♫
♫ 你就知道我在慢慢地恢復正常。 ♫
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♫ And maybe next week, I'll set my guitar ringin' ♫
♫ 或許下週,我會彈著我的吉他,♫
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♫ my voice clear as water, and everyone singin'. ♫
♫ 音色清澈如水, 大家一起歡唱。 ♫
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♫ But probably I'll just get up and start groovin', ♫
♫ 但現在,我要站起來,開始打節奏,♫
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♫ my vocal cords movin', ♫
♫ 我的聲帶快速顫動, ♫
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♫ at speeds slightly faster than sound. ♫
♫ 比聲速還快那麼一點。♫
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(Applause)
(掌聲)