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  • So I was 30 minutes into a date with someone who just was not the right fit for me.

    所以我和一個不適合我的人約會了30分鐘。

  • We didn't agree on some fundamental issues.

    我們在一些基本問題上意見不一致。

  • I don't know how you could like to perform better than E is the best.

    我不知道你怎麼會喜歡錶現得比E是最好的。

  • One is classy.

    一個是優雅的。

  • For about half an hour of this, I did what every people pleasers nightmare is.

    在這半個小時裡,我做了每個人的噩夢。

  • I expressed my authentic needs even though they were in direct conflict with what someone else wanted.

    我表達了自己真實的需求,即使這些需求與別人的需求直接衝突。

  • You're leaving?

    你要走了?

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • It's been nice to get to know you, but I really don't see anything here, so I don't wanna waste each other's time.

    很高興認識你,但我在這裡真的看不出什麼,所以我不想浪費彼此的時間。

  • I'm just gonna go home and watch Avatar the last airbender.

    我就回家看《阿凡達》《最後一個空中飛人》。

  • Okay, That's a good call, but damn, this must have been the shortest state I've ever had.

    好吧,這是一個很好的電話, 但該死的,這必須是最短的狀態 我曾經有過。

  • Yeah, short is the Anglos and of our War of 18 96.

    是啊,短是英國人和我們的1896年戰爭。

  • What?

    什麼?

  • The conflict between the UK and the Santa Russell tonight that lasted between 38 45 minutes, making it the shortest recorded war in history.

    今晚英國和聖拉塞爾之間的衝突,持續了38 45分鐘,成為歷史上有記錄以來最短的戰爭。

  • Okay, I'm just gonna see myself on.

    好吧,我只是要去看看自己在。

  • It was nice to get to know you have been kind of Okay, Bye.

    很高興認識你,你一直是那種好的,再見。

  • I'll get the check.

    我去拿支票

  • And that is the day, I realized I am no longer a people pleaser.

    也就是這一天,我意識到自己不再是一個討人喜歡的人。

  • You know, people pleasing affect so many of us.

    你知道,討好人影響了我們很多人。

  • Because a lot of us grow up learning that in order to survive, we need to essentially lie out of the fear of being rejected or upsetting our primary caregiver.

    因為我們很多人在成長過程中學習到,為了生存,我們基本上需要撒謊,因為害怕被拒絕或讓我們的主要照顧者不高興。

  • So we grow up and pretend to agree with people even when we don't.

    所以我們長大了,即使不同意別人的觀點,也要假裝同意。

  • Aren't you so happy the hive aliens took over?

    你不是很高興蜂巢外星人接管了嗎?

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • Absolutely.

    絕對的

  • All hell the queen.

    所有地獄女王。

  • We feel responsible for other people's feelings.

    我們覺得要對別人的感情負責。

  • Let's go on a guilt trip.

    讓我們去內疚之旅。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • Oh, my God.

    哦,我的上帝。

  • I'm gonna go unpack my sadness.

    我要去解開我的悲傷。

  • Okay?

    好嗎?

  • I'd love to feel responsible for that.

    我很想覺得自己有責任。

  • Should I also bring some rage?

    我是不是也該帶點怒氣?

  • Absolutely.

    絕對的

  • Bringing it for the three of us.

    為我們三個人帶來。

  • But I'm happy to carry it.

    但我很樂意帶著它。

  • Oh, my God.

    哦,我的上帝。

  • I'm so excited.

    我太興奮了。

  • This is gonna be so fun for you guys.

    這對你們來說會很有趣的。

  • I'm really miserable way Don't know how to say no.

    我真的很痛苦,不知道怎麼說不。

  • I need you to help me bury this body.

    我需要你幫我埋葬這具屍體。

  • Of course, twins help twins, no matter what.

    當然,雙子幫雙子,無論如何都要幫。

  • Oh, um accomplice to murder.

    哦,嗯,謀殺的同謀。

  • That's what you're asking of me.

    這就是你對我的要求。

  • Aren't you gonna help us?

    你不幫我們嗎?

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • Don't you think friends help friends?

    你不覺得朋友幫助朋友嗎?

  • Very dead bodies.

    非常死的屍體。

  • Well, you know, my help.

    嗯,你知道,我的幫助。

  • I'm popular.

    我很受歡迎。

  • Yeah.

    是啊。

  • I mean, are you gonna kill me if I don't?

    我的意思是,如果我不這樣做,你會殺了我嗎?

  • I was a people pleaser for almost my entire life.

    我幾乎一輩子都在討好人。

  • And it's only until recently I've started to prioritize myself and my needs over what I think people want.

    而直到最近,我才開始優先考慮自己和自己的需求,而不是我認為人們想要的東西。

  • For me, it is so freeing because people pleasing leads to neglect of self passive aggression and resentment stress, depression being taken advantage of and decreased joy and the people and activities that are in our lives to stop being a people pleaser.

    對我來說,這是如此的自由,因為取悅別人會導致忽視自我被動攻擊和怨恨壓力,抑鬱症被利用和減少快樂,我們生活中的人和活動不再是取悅別人。

  • I often think of myself as my friend.

    我常常把自己當成朋友。

  • So if my friend is uncomfortable about something, I speak up on her behalf.

    所以,如果我的朋友有什麼不舒服的地方,我就替她說出來。

  • If she is unable to set a boundary for herself, I said it for her.

    如果她不能為自己設定一個界限,我就為她說。

  • If people are venting to her, I reassure her.

    如果大家向她發洩,我就安慰她。

  • She doesn't need to fix this or give people advice.

    她不需要解決這個問題,也不需要給別人建議。

  • Just be there and listen.

    就在那裡聽。

  • And most importantly, I reassure her that her self worth it doesn't come from other people's approval or validation that she can't be abandoned because she got me and that I love her and accept her for who she is.

    而最重要的是,我向她保證,她的自我價值它並不是來自於別人的認可或驗證,她不能被拋棄,因為她得到了我,我愛她,接受她的身份。

  • Decades of therapy paying enough thank you to square space for sponsoring today's video, Squarespace has an Onley one platform to build a beautiful online presence and run your business, complete with marketing tools and analytics to have your website or online store be the best it can be for all of you who love to create audio content.

    幾十年的治療付出足夠的感謝廣場空間贊助今天的視頻,Squarespace有一個Onley一個平臺來建立一個美麗的在線存在和運行你的業務,完整的營銷工具和分析,讓你的網站或在線商店是最好的,它可以為所有喜歡創造音頻內容的人。

  • You can use audio blocks, which allows you to embed audio on your site and tag the audio for iTunes.

    你可以使用音頻塊,它允許你在你的網站上嵌入音頻,併為iTunes標記音頻。

  • When your audio block is placed in a blogged plus, you could have multiple contributors receive selective access to your sites.

    當你的音頻塊放在博客加,你可以有多個貢獻者收到選擇性訪問你的網站。

  • Website manager.

    網站經理。

  • And don't worry, you own all the content that you put on the square space platform.

    而且不用擔心,你在廣場空間平臺上投放的所有內容都是你自己的。

  • They offer one click data portability had to score space dot com for a free try alive.

    他們提供了一鍵式的數據便攜性,不得不讓分分彩空間點com免費試用活著。

So I was 30 minutes into a date with someone who just was not the right fit for me.

所以我和一個不適合我的人約會了30分鐘。

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我在30分鐘後離開了一個約會 (I left a date 30 minutes in)

  • 6 1
    林宜悉 發佈於 2020 年 12 月 03 日
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