We're back.

我們回來了

My next guest tonight is the country's foremost expert on

今晚我的下一位嘉賓是全國最頂尖的專家，他是關於

Halloween gadgets.

萬聖節的小玩意。

Please welcome the Halloween Man himself, Jimmy Blaylock.

請歡迎萬聖人吉米-布萊克本人。

Jimmy, thanks for coming back on the program.

吉米，謝謝你回到節目中來。

Great to be here, thanks for having me.

很高興來到這裡，謝謝你邀請我。

(audience applauds)

(觀眾鼓掌)

Good to have ya.

很高興你能來

We've got some great stuff this year

今年我們有一些好東西

that's brand new for 1997.

那是1997年的全新產品

Okay, this is stuff that's available

好吧，這是可用的東西

to people that create more fun on their Halloween.

給那些在萬聖節創造更多樂趣的人。

That's correct.

這是正確的。

We have this right here.

我們有這個權利在這裡。

It's a sound-activated rat.

這是一隻聲控老鼠。

Why don't you take that side.

你為什麼不站在那一邊。

What you do, you put this behind the

你做什麼，你把這個背後的

toilet or something when you're having your party.

廁所什麼的，當你有你的黨。

Watch what happens.

看看會發生什麼。

(rat tail thumps)

（老鼠尾巴砰砰）

It goes nuts.

它會瘋掉。

You got that.

你得到了。

Gee that's lot of fun there, Jimmy.

天啊，那真是太有趣了，吉米。

Nothing's going to spice up a party

沒有什麼能讓聚會更有氣氛了

than rat in its death throes.

比老鼠在它的死期。

Well, right.

嗯，沒錯。

(rat squeaks)

（老鼠的吱吱聲）

Okay., me get,

好吧，給我打電話。

Can you take off your jacket for a minute here?

你能把你的外套脫下來嗎?

Why?

為什麼？

I got something I wanna show you.

我有東西想給你看

You're going to love this.

你會喜歡這個的

All right.

好吧，我知道了

You'll gonna love this.

你會喜歡這個的

Okay, throw this over here.

好吧，把這個扔過來。

We have this one right here.

我們有這個人就在這裡。

Go ahead and put this on.

去吧，把這個穿上。

Put it on?

穿上它？

Go ahead, put your arms through.

來吧，把你的手臂穿過。

Put it through this way?

把它通過這種方式？

Yeah, go ahead and put it through that way.

是啊，繼續把它通過這種方式。

And then this way?

然後再往這邊走？

That's right.

是的

There you go, Conan.

給你，柯南

There we go.

我們走吧

Squeeze into crappy costume.

擠進蹩腳的服裝。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Oh, wait, okay.

哦，等等，好吧。

Cost thirty bucks, man.

花了30塊錢，夥計。

Oh, well then it's really cool.

哦，好吧，那麼它真的很酷。

I'm sorry.

我很抱歉

Here we go.

我們走吧

Can we put it on?

我們可以穿上它嗎？

There you are.

你在這裡啊

You are ready for the World Wrestling Federation.

你已經準備好參加世界摔跤聯合會了。

There you go.

這就對了

Flex your muscles.

彎曲你的肌肉。

Go ahead, flex them.

來吧，彎曲他們。

There you go.

這就對了

Are you going to yell at me the whole segment?

你要對著我喊整段話嗎？

No, that's...that looks great.

不，那是......那看起來很不錯。

Is that great, or what?

是偉大的，還是什麼？

How does it look?

怎麼看？

Yeah, that's good.

是的，這是很好的。

You look good.

你看起來不錯。

I look sexy?

我看起來很性感？

Yeah, you needed that.

是啊，你需要的。

It's not a big difference, really.

其實，差別不大。

That's the problem.

這就是問題所在。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

People are like, "I don't see a difference."

人們都說，"我看不出有什麼不同"

All right, tell us what we have right here.

好吧，告訴我們我們有什麼在這裡。

We have these right here.

我們這裡就有這些。

I want you to go ahead and try one.

我想讓你去試試。

And you put these up at your Halloween parties.

然後你在萬聖節派對上把這些東西掛起來

It's cute.

它的可愛。

Go ahead, hold this.

來吧，拿著這個。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Then put your--

那就把你的...

I hold it like this?

我這樣拿著它？

Hold it like that right there.

就這樣拿著

All right.

好吧，我知道了

And you get this one.

而你得到這個。

What does it do?

它的作用是什麼？

These are called dancing bones and

這些被稱為跳舞的骨頭和

you turn them on and they boogie.

你把它們打開，它們就會咕咕叫。

Go ahead.

去吧

There we go.

我們走吧

(funky music box music plays)

（時髦的音樂盒音樂播放）

There we go.

我們走吧

That's just great.

這只是偉大的。

There we go.

我們走吧

(Conan laughs)

（柯南笑）

There he goes.

他走了。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Hey, Max.

嘿, Max.

Max, can we have a little music for this one?

麥克斯，我們可以有一個小的音樂為這一個？

(upbeat Halloween music)

（歡快的萬聖節音樂）

That's great.

那太好了

Dancing bones, there we go.

跳舞的骨頭，我們走吧。

All right.

好吧，我知道了

And look here.

看這裡

You're going to love this.

你會喜歡這個的

This is valuable TV time.

這是寶貴的電視時間。

It's still alive.

它還活著。

Look at that.

你看那個。

It's so pathetic.

太可悲了。

(Conan laughs)

（柯南笑）

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

God, what is it doing?

上帝，它在做什麼？

All right.

好吧，我知道了

Oh, it's so pathetic.

哦，太可憐了。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Oh my God.

哦，我的上帝。

That's horrific.

太可怕了

Now what I want you to do

現在我要你做的是

I want you to take these plugs the hair.

我要你把這些插頭的頭髮。

What?

什麼？

Go ahead.

去吧

I want you to take these plugs

我要你拿著這些插頭

and this is what they call ugly hair.

這就是他們所說的醜陋的頭髮。

Go ahead and take them,

去吧，拿去吧。

and I want you to shove them up your nose.

我要你把它們塞進你的鼻子裡。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

What do you do?

你是做什麼的？

Take them and shove them up your nose.

把它們塞進你的鼻子裡。

And there you go.

你去那裡。

You got yourself, some nose, hair.

你有自己，一些鼻子，頭髮。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Look at that.

你看那個。

Is that great or what?

那是偉大的還是什麼？

Does he look good?

他看起來不錯嗎？

Look at that.

你看那個。

Why, hello.

為什麼，你好。

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Look at that.

你看那個。

That's a really stylish move if you're in a bar

如果你在酒吧裡，這招可真夠時髦的。

and you see a girl, you like.

你看到一個女孩，你喜歡。

Why...

為什麼...

I've got this right here.

我已經得到了這個權利在這裡。

(Conan screams)

（柯南尖叫）

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

We've got this right here.

我們已經得到了這個權利在這裡。

What are you doing?

你在做什麼？

You know what I'm doing.

你知道我在做什麼。

What the hell was that?

那是什麼鬼東西？

I'm going to show you.

我給你看。

Did I ask you to throw fire in my face?

我有讓你往我臉上潑火嗎？

I want to show you, this is flash paper.

我想告訴你，這是閃光紙。

Here, I want you to put these in your mouth.

來，我要你把這些放進嘴裡。

No.

不知道

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

You don't just come on my show and start throwing fire.

你不能隨便來我的節目上扔火。

What you call this is flash paper.

你說的這個是閃光紙。

In case you dress up as a devil, you can throw fire.

萬一你裝扮成魔鬼，你可以扔火。

You want to try?

你要不要試試？

No, that's okay.

不，這沒關係。

Okay, you sure?

好吧，你確定？

You do it.

你來吧

Let me show you.

讓我給你看看。

Go like that right there.

像這樣走在那裡。

There you go.

這就對了

In case you dress up as a Satan.

萬一你裝扮成撒旦。

(whistles) All right.

好吧

Let's move on.

讓我們繼續前進。

What's this?

這是什麼？

We got this, it's called a chest wig

我們有這個，它叫胸前假髮。

in case you need a hairy chest,

以防你需要一個毛茸茸的胸部。

you can buy your own hairy chest.

你可以買你自己的毛茸茸的胸部。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Go ahead and try it on, there you go.

去試試吧，給你。

And it goes on like right on your chest, right there?

然後就像在你的胸口一樣，就在那裡？

Yeah, that's right.

是的，這是正確的。

Okay. There you go.

好了，給你。好了，給你。

It's called the Ed Asner.

這就是所謂的艾德-阿斯納。

Is that right?

是這樣嗎？

That's true.

這倒是真的。

And it goes on over your own...

而它繼續在你自己的... ...

See, I have so much hair, I don't need...

你看，我有這麼多頭髮，我不需要... ...

(audience whistles)

（觀眾吹口哨）

You do have a hairy chest.

你的胸口確實有很多毛。

There you go

這就對了

Calm down, pal, all right?

冷靜點，夥計，好嗎？

Look at that.

你看那個。

Is that great or what?

那是偉大的還是什麼？

Look at that.

你看那個。

That's cool.

這很酷。

I would actually use this in my real life.

其實我在現實生活中也會用到這個。

All right.

好吧，我知道了

What's next?

下一步是什麼？

Now we get this right here in case you get

現在，我們得到這個權利在這裡的情況下，你得到的。

that Batman outfit or that Superman outfit,

蝙蝠俠的衣服或超人的衣服。

and you don't fill out?

你卻不填？

You know, you know what I'm talking about, a man.

你知道，你知道我在說什麼，一個男人。

We got this here, male--

我們在這裡得到了這個，MAL --

Now, why do I know what you're talking about?

現在，我為什麼知道你在說什麼？

Male enhancement briefs.

男性增強內褲。

There you go, you gonna try those on?

給你，你要試試這些嗎？

Wait, you put these on and the idea is that--

等等，你戴上這個，然後你的想法是 --

Yeah, exactly.

是的，沒錯。

You put those on.

你把那些。

Go ahead.

去吧

And then just in case you don't

然後萬一你不知道

fill out the costume well enough...

填好服裝...

There you go!

給你！

Look at that!

你看那！

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Is that great, or what?

是偉大的，還是什麼？

Look at that.

你看那個。

Oh yeah!

哦，是的！

That's it.

就這樣吧

(audience catcalls)

(觀眾的叫聲)

There you go.

這就對了

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

That's great.

那太好了

You look good.

你看起來不錯。

I'm all set for the local bar, now.

我現在已經準備好去當地的酒吧了。

I'm just going to walk into the local bar like this,

我就這樣走進當地的酒吧。

rip this open, give that a twirl.

撕開這個，給這個旋轉。

I think we're out of time.

我想我們沒有時間了

No, I've got one more item

不，我還有一個項目

I want to show you.

我想給你看。

Just come here for just a second.

過來一下就好。

I think I said, "We're out of time."

我想我說過 "我們沒時間了"

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

No, I gotta show you this

不，我得給你看這個

Come here for just a minute.

過來一下

Look at here, I gotta show you this.

看這裡，我得給你看這個。

Oh, I guess we have more time

哦，我想我們有更多的時間

Here we go,

我們走吧

We got this.

我們得到了這個。

This you can get over and you take it's and it...

這你可以克服，你把它的和它... ...

Here, take it, and you--

來，拿著，你...

This is to serve what?

這是為什麼服務？

This is a six-foot autopsy of a man.

這是一個六尺男兒的屍體解剖。

What the hell are you doing here?

你在這裡做什麼？

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

What is that?

那是什麼？

What?

什麼？

It's a six-foot autopsy of a man.

這是一個六英尺高的人的屍體解剖。

What you do, you serve food out of it

你是做什麼的，你是用它來裝食物的。

at your Halloween parties or your family reunion.

在你的萬聖節派對或家庭聚會上。

What have you done to this man?

你對這個人做了什麼？

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

Is that great, or what?

是偉大的，還是什麼？

Yeah, that's really cool.

是啊，這真的很酷。

(Jimmy laughs)

（吉米笑）

Well, anyway.

好吧，反正。

All right!

好吧！

Thanks for showing a big rubber penis on our program.

謝謝你在我們的節目中展示一個大橡膠陰莖。

You can find all these things in Toy World.

這些東西你都可以在玩具世界找到。

It's in Tupelo, Mississippi.

在密西西比州的圖珀洛市。

Fun World.

有趣的世界。

Fun World.

有趣的世界。