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自動翻譯
  • -Thank you so much for watching, everybody.

    -謝謝大家的觀看,各位。

  • Welcome to "The Tonight Show."

    歡迎來到 "今夜秀"。

  • Guys, it is a big night for NBC.

    夥計們,今晚對NBC來說是個大日子。

  • It is the start of BTS Week

    現在是BTS周的開始

  • here on "The Tonight Show"! [ Cheers and applause ]

    這裡的 "今夜秀"![歡呼聲和掌聲]

  • We have something special for you BTS fans

    我們有特別的東西給你們BTS的粉絲

  • in a couple minutes.

    幾分鐘後

  • Also, a huge night for hockey --

    還有,一個冰球的重要夜晚 --

  • if you just watched Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs,

    如果你剛剛看了斯坦利杯季後賽的第六場比賽。

  • that means you're either drunk and happy

    醉生夢死

  • or drunk and very angry. [ Laughter ]

    或喝醉了,非常生氣。[笑聲]

  • I actually watched the game through my plastic face shield,

    其實我是通過我的塑膠面罩看的比賽。

  • so I feel like I was really there.

    所以我覺得我真的在那裡。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yeah, tonight, we got to see white guys

    是啊,今晚,我們得到了看到白色的傢伙

  • brutally attack each other for two hours,

    殘忍地互相攻擊了兩個小時。

  • so it was a pretty good preview of tomorrow night's debate.

    所以這是一個相當不錯的預演 明晚的辯論。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Let's get to some politics.

    讓我們來談談政治。

  • Well, guys, last night, "The New York Times"

    嗯,夥計們,昨晚,"紐約時報"

  • published a bombshell report

    發佈了一份爆炸性的報告

  • about President Trump's personal finances.

    關於特朗普總統的個人財務狀況。

  • Yep, somehow "The Times" got their hands

    是的,不知何故 "時報 "得到了他們的手。

  • on Trump's long-hidden tax records,

    關於特朗普長期隱藏的稅務記錄。

  • and what they found was not good.

    而他們發現的情況並不樂觀。

  • Listen to this. -The "New York Times" reports

    聽聽這個-"紐約時報 "報道

  • it's obtained two decades' worth

    二十年如一日

  • of President Trump's tax returns.

    的特朗普總統的納稅申報。

  • -"The Times" reports that the President paid no income taxes

    -"泰晤士報 "報道說,總統沒有繳納所得稅。

  • in 10 of the last 15 years.

    在過去15年中,有10年。

  • -That's right -- Trump has not paid income taxes

    -沒錯,特朗普沒有繳納所得稅。

  • in 10 of the last 15 years, although, honestly,

    在過去的15年中,有10年,雖然說實話,。

  • wouldn't it have been more shocking

    豈不更令人震驚

  • if Trump had paid taxes in those years?

    如果特朗普在那幾年交過稅?

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yeah, when the news broke, Trump was furious.

    是啊,消息傳出後,特朗普很生氣。

  • He was like, "Why did I pay taxes for those five years?"

    他說:"我為什麼要交那五年的稅?"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Seriously, when it comes to avoiding taxes,

    說真的,在避稅的時候。

  • Trump knows every loophole.

    特朗普知道每一個漏洞。

  • For instance, on next year's taxes,

    比如說,在明年的稅收上。

  • he plans on claiming his coronavirus response

    他計劃聲稱他的冠狀病毒反應

  • as a total loss.

    作為全部損失。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Applause ] What?

    [掌聲] 什麼?

  • Thank you. It's a clapper.

    謝謝你,這是一個拍子。這是一個拍子。

  • It's a clapper. Some laughs, some claps.

    這是一個拍子。有人笑,有人拍手。

  • Well, someone close to Trump must have provided the records.

    一定是特朗普身邊的人提供的記錄。

  • When asked who might have a grudge against him,

    當被問及誰可能與他有仇時。

  • Trump was like, "Other than 65 tell-all book authors,

    特朗普當時就說:"除了65個告訴書作者之外。

  • no one comes to mind." [ Laughter ]

    沒有人想到。"[笑聲]

  • So Trump didn't pay any income taxes for 10 out of 15 years.

    所以特朗普15年中有10年沒有繳納任何所得稅。

  • Big deal.

    大事。

  • I'm sure when Trump did pay something, it was a lot.

    我相信當特朗普確實付出了一些東西,那是很多的。

  • -In 2016, the year Trump won the White House,

    -在2016年,也就是特朗普贏得白宮的那一年。

  • he paid just $750 in income tax.

    他只交了750元的所得稅。

  • -$750!

    -$750!

  • I don't know what he should have paid,

    我不知道他該付多少錢。

  • but it is definitely more than an Xbox and a half.

    但它絕對超過了Xbox半。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • $750?! That's great.

    $750?!那太好了

  • In today's money, Trump basically paid the equivalent

    以今天的錢計算,特朗普基本上支付了相當於。

  • of a 1993 Toyota Tercel.

    一輛1993年豐田Tercel的。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Even people who use the free version of TurboTax

    即使是使用免費版TurboTax的人,也會有這樣的問題。

  • are like, "That can't be right."

    是這樣的,"這不可能是正確的。"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • The report also found that, on top of not paying taxes,

    報告還發現,除了不交稅。

  • Trump wrote off a bunch of expenses

    特朗普註銷了一堆費用

  • that seemed kind of suspicious.

    這似乎有點可疑。

  • -The paper also accuses

    -該文件還指責

  • the President and his companies

    總統及其公司

  • of claiming questionable deductions

    申請有問題的扣除

  • on some of those businesses.

    對其中一些企業。

  • More than $109,000 for linens and silverware

    床單和銀器超過109 000美元。

  • and nearly $200,000 for landscaping.

    以及近20萬元的園林綠化費用。

  • He also wrote off more than $70,000 in haircuts

    他還註銷了7萬多元的理髮費。

  • when he was on "The Apprentice."

    當他在 "學徒"。

  • -The crazy part isn't that he spent $70,000 on his hair --

    -瘋狂的部分不是因為他花了7萬美元在他的頭髮上 --

  • it's that, clearly, $70,000 wasn't enough.

    這就是,很明顯,7萬塊錢是不夠的。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • [ Applause ]

    [掌聲]

  • Should have went with $150,000.

    應該用15萬。

  • Landscaping.

    景觀設計。

  • The most damaging part of the report also shows

    報告中最具破壞性的部分還顯示了

  • that Trump might not be

    特朗普可能不是

  • the billionaire expert businessman he claims to be.

    他自稱是億萬富翁專家商人。

  • -"The Times" says documents show the President

    -"泰晤士報 "稱,文件顯示總統。

  • reported more than $47 million in losses in 2018 alone,

    僅在2018年就報告了超過4700萬美元的損失。

  • and he faces a personal debt totaling $421 million,

    而他面臨的個人債務總額為4.21億元。

  • money that could come due while he is in office

    歲幣

  • if he's elected to a second term.

    如果他當選連任。

  • -Wow. This news comes as a huge shock.

    -哇。這個消息讓人大吃一驚。

  • I mean, all this time, I thought

    我是說,一直以來,我都以為

  • the guy who lost money running a casino

    賭徒

  • was a financial wiz.

    是一個金融奇才。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Yep, Trump's got to pay back $421 million.

    是的,特朗普要還4.21億美元。

  • In response, college kids with student loans are like,

    對此,有助學貸款的大學生就像。

  • "Holy crap! I'm richer than the president!"

    "我的天啊!我比總統還有錢!"

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Basically, this is who Trump says he is,

    基本上,這就是特朗普所說的人。

  • and this is who he really is.

    這就是他的真實身份。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • I guess that, when you owe that kind of money,

    我想,當你欠了那麼多錢。

  • you start doing desperate things.

    你開始做絕望的事情。

  • Look at what I saw today on Zillow.

    看看我今天在Zillow上看到的。

  • He's selling the White House.

    他在賣白宮。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • I'll check it out at an open house.

    我會在開放日去看看的。

  • I'm not sure if I'm going to buy it.

    我不知道會不會買。

  • Since 2000, Trump's reported over $300 million in losses

    自2000年以來,特朗普的報告損失超過3億美元

  • just from his golf courses.

    只是從他的高爾夫球場。

  • Would have been a better investment

    本來是一個更好的投資

  • if Trump opened up a RadioShack

    如果特朗普開了一家RadioShack

  • inside a Blockbuster inside a Sears.

    在Blockbuster裡面,在Sears裡面。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • It wasn't all bad news for Trump this weekend.

    這個週末對特朗普來說也不全是壞消息。

  • On Saturday, he officially named his nominee

    上週六,他正式提名了他的候選人。

  • to replace the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

    接替已故大法官露絲-巴德-金斯伯格的職位。

  • on the Supreme Court.

    在最高法院。

  • -It is my honor to nominate

    -我很榮幸地提名

  • one of our nation's most brilliant and gifted legal minds

    我國最優秀的法律人才之一。

  • to the Supreme Court.

    最高法院。

  • She is a woman of unparalleled achievement,

    她是一個有著無與倫比成就的女人。

  • towering intellect, sterling credentials,

    高智商,高資歷。

  • and unyielding loyalty to the Constitution,

    和對憲法的不屈不撓的忠誠。

  • Judge Amy Coney Barrett.

    Amy Coney Barrett法官

  • -Whew! Good Lord, that took forever.

    -哇!天啊,花了好長時間

  • By the time Trump was done with the introduction,

    等到特朗普介紹完。

  • he had to fill three more Supreme Court seats.

    他必須再填補三個最高法院的席位。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Seriously, the only thing Trump will drag out longer

    說真的,特朗普唯一會拖得比較久的是

  • are the results of the election.

    是選舉的結果。

  • Of course, the presidential election is heating up,

    當然,總統大選正在升溫。

  • and the first debate is tomorrow night.

    而第一場辯論是明天晚上。

  • It'll be a little different than debates we've seen in the past.

    這將是一個有點不同的辯論,我們在過去看到的。

  • Watch this.

    看這個。

  • -Joe Biden and President Trump

    喬-拜登和特朗普總統

  • are preparing to face off for the first time.

    正準備首次對決。

  • Now, this debate will be very different from debates past

    現在,這場辯論將與過去的辯論有很大的不同。

  • due to the coronavirus pandemic.

    由於冠狀病毒大流行。

  • Biden and Trump will not shake hands,

    拜登和特朗普不會握手。

  • there will be a much smaller audience,

    會有更少的觀眾。

  • and everyone on hand will be tested for COVID-19.

    而現場的每個人都將接受COVID-19的測試。

  • -Yep. The debate is almost here right now.

    -是的是的 - 辯論會馬上就要開始了

  • Biden plans on throwing Trump off

    拜登計劃將特朗普甩開

  • by walking out in a hat that says "I.R.S."

    戴著寫著 "I.R.S. "的帽子走出來。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • Because of COVID, the candidates

    由於COVID,候選人

  • won't start the night while shaking hands --

    不會在握手時開始晚上 --

  • well, partly because of COVID,

    好吧,部分是因為COVID。

  • but mostly 'cause Trump just doesn't know how to shake hands.

    但主要是因為特朗普不知道如何握手。

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • -Yeah, I know. Yeah.

    -是的,我知道是的,我知道。

  • ♪♪

    ♪♪

  • -[ Chuckles ] How you doing there?

    -你在那裡做得怎麼樣?

  • Yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, boy.

    是啊,是啊。 哦,哦,孩子。哦,哦,男孩。

  • [ Laughter ] That's...

    [笑] 這是... ...

  • Oh, boy...

    哦,孩子...

  • That's right -- the candidates won't start the evening

    沒錯 候選人不會在晚上開始演講

  • by shaking hands.

    通過握手。

  • Instead, it'll be like a wedding dance floor,

    反而會像婚禮舞池一樣。

  • where Biden casts a line at Trump and then reels him in.

    在那裡,拜登向特朗普拋出了一條線,然後把他捲了進去。

  • [ Laughter ]

    [笑聲]

  • With the debate happening tomorrow night,

    隨著明晚辯論的進行。

  • both Trump and Biden have been busy

    兩位大佬都在忙

  • preparing what they're going to say.

    準備他們要說的話。

  • And we actually managed to get our hands

    而我們實際上設法得到我們的手

  • on some video of Trump's debate prep.

    在一些特朗普的辯論準備視頻上。

  • Check this out.

    看看這個。

  • [ Bird chirps ]

    [鳥叫聲]

  • -Alright, the big debate's tomorrow, and we gotta prep.

    -好吧,明天就是大辯論了,我們得準備一下。

  • We gotta prep.

    我們得做準備。

  • If I blow this, there's no telling

    如果我搞砸了,那就不好說了

  • how many tens of people will change their minds about me.

    有多少人幾十人對我改觀。

  • That's why I asked you,

    這就是為什麼我問你。

  • my loyal team of future tell-all authors,

    我忠實的團隊未來的告訴作者。

  • to come up with questions.

    來提出問題。

  • So, hit me. What do we got?

    所以,打我。我們得到了什麼?

  • -Mr. President, first question --

    主席先生,第一個問題 -- --

  • when will the COVID vaccine be ready?

    COVID疫苗什麼時候能用?

  • -Easy. Tomorrow. [ Laughter ]

    -輕鬆點放鬆。 明天。[笑聲]

  • Definitely tomorrow. It's coming out immediately.

    明天一定會。馬上就出來了。

  • And, look, it's a very wonderful vaccine.

    而且,你看,這是一個非常美妙的疫苗。

  • Tastes great.

    味道很好。

  • Very delicious vaccine -- gonna to be grape probably.

    非常美味的疫苗--可能會是葡萄。

  • We have our scientists working around the clock,

    我們的科學家晝夜不停地工作。

  • mixing [inhales sharply] the vials and the beakers,

    混合[急速吸入]小瓶和燒杯。

  • and it's turning the liquid into different colors.

    它把液體變成了不同的顏色。

  • Just incredible.

    真是不可思議。

  • Right now, it's very green and bubbly,

    現在,它很青澀,很冒泡。

  • and it unleashes smoke in the shape of a skull,

    並釋放出骷髏形狀的煙霧。

  • so it's looking good.

    所以它看起來不錯。

  • Next question.

    下一個問題。

  • -Mr. President, is it true that,

    -總統先生,是否真的:

  • in 2016 and '17, you paid $750 in federal income taxes?

    在2016年和17年,你交了750美元的聯邦所得稅?

  • -Absolutely false. -Excellent.

    -絕對是假的-很好

  • Great, clear answer.

    很好,答案很明確。

  • -I paid $350.

    -我付了350美元

  • -Okay, maybe let's just skip that.

    -好吧,也許我們就跳過這個吧。

  • -Sir, what's your view on climate change?

    -先生,你對氣候變化有什麼看法?

  • -Look, I've said it before. We love the climate.

    -聽著,我以前說過了。我們喜歡這裡的氣候

  • The scientists -- they don't even know.

    科學家們... 他們甚至不知道。

  • They don't even know.

    他們甚至不知道。

  • I watch WKTG -- their meteorologist.

    我看WKTG,他們的氣象學家。

  • He gets the climate wrong most every day.

    他每天都會把氣候弄錯大部分。

  • He says, "It's raining." There's no rain.

    他說,"下雨了。"根本就沒有雨

  • He says, "It's sunny," but I look at my phone,

    他說:"天晴了。"但我看了看手機。

  • and the sun's behind a little cloud.

    和太陽的背後的一個小云。

  • Very sad.

    非常傷心。

  • It's a tough thing -- the climate.

    這是一個艱難的事情 - 氣候。

  • [ Inhales sharply ] Very tough. Very tough thing.

    [吸氣急劇] 非常艱難的。非常艱難的事情。

  • -Mr. President, if you win...

    -總統先生,如果你贏了... ...

  • -Ah-bah, ah-bah -- when I win.

    -啊哈,啊哈,當我贏的時候

  • [ Laughter ] How about when I win?

    [笑]怎麼樣,當我贏了嗎?

  • -...when you win,

    -...當你贏了。

  • how exactly are you gonna unite the country?

    你到底要怎麼統一全國?

  • -I'm going to pass on that one. -Okay.

    -我就不說這個了。-好吧

  • How will you ease racial tension?

    你將如何緩解種族緊張局勢?

  • -Ooh, big pass.

    -哦,大傳球

  • -Back to your taxes -- -Double-dog pass.

    回到你的稅上 -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

  • -Well, I think we need an answer for that.

    -我想我們需要一個答案。

  • -I said double-dog, so, legally, you have to pass.

    -我說的是雙狗,所以,從法律上講,你必須通過。

  • They said I can have three passes.

    他們說我可以有三個通行證。

  • Didn't they say that?

    他們不是說過嗎?

  • Can we look into that? Three passes?

    我們可以研究一下嗎?三次傳球?

  • -What do you think of Biden's plan to --

    -你對拜登的計劃有何看法?

  • -Look, the thing about -- the thing about Biden,

    -聽著,關於... 關於拜登的事情。

  • can I just say the thing about Biden

    我能說說拜登的事嗎

  • is that he's a nasty woman.

    是他是一個討厭的女人。

  • [ Laughter ] He's such a nasty woman.

    [笑]他是這樣一個討厭的女人。

  • -Sorry, you said that about Hillary.

    -抱歉,你說的是希拉里。

  • -That's right.

    -沒錯

  • I'm bringing back all the classics.

    我把所有的經典都帶回來了。

  • No one goes to a Counting Crows concert

    沒有人會去數烏鴉的演唱會。

  • to hear the new stuff, folks.

    聽到新的東西,夥計們。

  • With me, it's "Mr. Jones" all night.

    對我來說,這是 "瓊斯先生 "的整個晚上。

  • By the way, that's where I -- that's where I drop the mic.

    順便說一下,這就是我... ... 這就是我放下話筒的地方。

  • -You won't have a mic, sir.

    -你不會有一個麥克風,先生。

  • -Well, I'll -- I'll drop this one, then.

    -好吧,我... ... 那我就放棄這個了。

  • [ Clicking, fabric rustling ] -Not that kind of mic.

    [點擊,面料沙沙] 不是那種麥克風。

  • [ No audio ]

    [在音頻]

  • We can't hear you now, sir. [ Laughter ]

    我們現在聽不到你的聲音,先生。[笑聲]

  • [ Clicking, fabric rustling ]

    [點擊,織物沙沙作響]

  • -Hello?

    -你好 你好

  • -Sir, civil unrest is widespread across the country.

    -先生,全國各地普遍存在內亂。